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Harry returns to Hogwarts for his 8th year and tries his best to act like his peers, to act like everything is normal, all while struggling to reconcile the deaths of his friends with his own resurrection. Plagued by nightmares, PTSD, and panic attacks, he fails rather spectacularly at acting anywhere near normal.
Fortunately, Malfoy has returned to Hogwarts as well, and he's somehow managed to fail even more spectacularly than Harry. Except where Harry fails to act normal, Malfoy manages to come across as simply succeeding at being weird. Where Malfoy was once polished, cold, and perfect, he returns to Hogwarts messy, haphazardly dressed, perpetually late, and chronically stoned.
And when Harry finally manages to push everyone else away, Malfoy becomes the one person who makes him feel alive again.
The weed helps too.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 214,924
- Chapters:
- 24/?
- Comments:
- 478
- Kudos:
- 670
- Bookmarks:
- 183
- Hits:
- 19,292
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
17 Jul 2026
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Back for their Eighth Year at Hogwarts, Harry and Malfoy's mutual hatred persists. Malfoy appears unwell, guarded, and as usual, up to something. Despite his own mental struggles, Harry is determined to uncover Malfoy's secrets.
Malfoy catches him spying one night. During their confrontation, Filch starts heading their way. They hide in a cramped closet together, triggering Harry's childhood memories and sending him into a panic attack.
“I’m not them,” Draco whispered, his voice losing its edge, replaced by a hollow, aching realization.
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In the heart of New York, Naruto Uzumaki is just an ordinary student at Empire State University. Between juggling photography gigs, classes, and an unrequited crush, his biggest challenges seem ordinary.
But everything changes when a single bite from a radioactive spider turns him into New York’s one and only superhero. Balancing exams, crime fighting, and a secret identity proves harder than any test. And when his path crosses with Sasuke in ways neither expected, the line between rivalry and something more begins to blur.
As danger grows in the city and dark secrets surface, Naruto must confront not only the villains lurking in New York, but also the unexpected feelings growing in his own heart.
But when the city’s shadows start hiding more than just criminals, can Naruto protect New York without losing himself or the people he cares about most?
or; Naruto is bitten by a radioactive spider and becomes Spider-Man. Now he must navigate the challenges of university life with the dangers of being a superhero between fighting crime, keeping his identity secret, and facing unexpected feelings for his self proclaimed rival.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 413,488
- Chapters:
- 29/?
- Comments:
- 2,747
- Kudos:
- 3,972
- Bookmarks:
- 938
- Hits:
- 153,602
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
25 Mar 2026
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wading in waist-high water by colgatebluemintygel for grumposaur
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
09 Jun 2022
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Summary
Remus is a PhD student and hobbyist baker who finds himself adrift following his father’s death. On a whim, he enters the Great British Bake Off and is swept up in a flurry of curdled custard, shrunken souffle, and under-proved dough. Remus expects to be challenged and to embarrass himself on public television. What he doesn’t account for are the friendships he develops with the other contestants and the deep connection he forms with his teenage crush, Sirius Black: charming ex-boy band member and Bake Off presenter.
or,
Sirius groans, dropping his head back into his hands. “It’s the dough,” he mumbles into the skin of his palms. “It’s the kneading. It’s his hands. They’re obscene.”
Lily laughs. “They are a bit, aren’t they?”
Series
- Part 1 of wading in waist-high water
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Burning and Buried With the Rest of It by kalegreeneyes for lilacfiresoul
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Sep 2024
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Remus Lupin's friends have always known him to be a happy, healthy person. That's why it comes as a complete shock when he returns to school different; a mere shell of the person he once was. All of his light seems to have been replaced by bitter anger and desperate sadness, and none of his friends know why.
or; what happens when Remus is bitten in the summer before fifth year instead of when he was five- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 118,627
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 1,208
- Kudos:
- 4,917
- Bookmarks:
- 1,677
- Hits:
- 122,948
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
25 Jun 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
broo ugh this was soooooo good and sad and good and fuxkk. thank u for writing this, never stop writing! i was w remus every step of the way, man. god.
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Sirius’s feelings for James were wrong, so wrong, and they only got worse when James started ambushing him with sex.
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Fifteen years after the war's end, a new, deadly curse has broken the peace of wizarding Britain. It spreads like a virus, and the Ministry has found no way to contain it or cure it. The case lands on Head Auror Potter's desk, and with it, a contract for Dark Arts scholar Draco Malfoy's expertise to help find the origin of the curse before it's too late.
Complicating the issue, of course, is the fact that Draco never got over Harry Potter.
Featuring Draco going to therapy, and Harry really needing therapy.
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Harry and Draco meet by accident six years after the war. Harry's an Auror with a drinking problem and Draco's a broke student. Things don't work out well. Six years after that, Draco joins the British Auror Office as a Potioneer.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 90,852
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Comments:
- 442
- Kudos:
- 1,148
- Bookmarks:
- 350
- Hits:
- 34,117
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
27 Nov 2024
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Summary
After going blind in a reckless attempt to avenge Ginny's death, Harry battles with severe depression. One day, he stumbles upon a quaint piano restoration shop in the heart of London and meets the owner, a kindly old man, and his introverted young apprentice, whose voice sounds strangely familiar.
As Harry and Draco slowly reconnect through private piano lessons, the small workshop becomes Harry's refuge, offering him a glimmer of hope in a world without eyes.
/Set five years after the Battle of Hogwarts/
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"I'm sorry, I believe there's something wrong with my hearing," Stiles said. "Because I could have sworn you just told me you set up a betrothal agreement with the Hales. A betrothal agreement involving me. Me."
Scott smiled his easygoing smile and nodded, which told Stiles no, he hadn't misheard a damn thing.
After seven years of lengthy negotiations, the treaty between the Hales and the Argents has fallen apart and the two countries fell into war.
Months later, there's an uneasy truce, thanks to the intervention of King Scott McCall, but it won't last. In a desperate attempt to maintain the peace, the Hales sign a treaty with the McCalls to marry Prince Derek to Prince Stiles Stilinski, King Scott's brother.
In the history of the world, there have been many better ideas.
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Hermione makes a soft, concerned sound. "Harry, look at this." She shows him an article with a photo, but the photo's not moving; it must be a Muggle newspaper. "NASA have just landed a rover on Mars. It's called Curiosity, and look, this is so--I don't know if it's sweet or sad, but--it's all alone out there, and they programmed it to sing itself Happy Birthday."
Nothing is wrong, but Harry starts crying.
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Harry Potter doesn’t expect to take up running years after the war ends; it just sort of happens.
He also doesn’t expect that — as he fights tooth and nail to climb out of a post-war depression he didn’t realize he’d fallen into — he’ll end up running right into the arms of Draco Malfoy.
A half angsty drama, half romcom of Harry working on himself, learning how to accept help from his friends, and falling in love with his childhood nemesis.
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There are two types of people in a small town. The ones who are suffocating, counting down every day until they can leave, and the ones who stay.
Sirius leaves. Regulus doesn't.
When Sirius returns six years later, it's to find that nothing is quite as he expected.
Sometimes you break the cycle, and sometimes, it breaks you.
--
Or, the small town, American, friends to lovers to exes to lovers AU.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 84,698
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 703
- Kudos:
- 4,504
- Bookmarks:
- 1,539
- Hits:
- 122,498
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
11 Aug 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
“am i making u feel sick?…”
“i tried to be good, am i no good?”
“i just wanted to be yours…can i be yours?”
this fic is so fucken ethel cain coded, i listened to her while reading and the religious transcende and phantom pain was insane.
100039383/10
it’s hard for me to read abt addiction and alcoholism, so I almost stopped (it wasn’t intense, it’s just jarring for me) and im glad i finished it.
im binging ur works.
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Summary
No one, it turns out, really knows one another.
(OR: all it takes is a summer-long holiday in Italy, James Potter's teetering mental stability, a secret relationship, friends with benefits, Marlene’s secret, and enough stupidity and insecurity to go around for everything to come crashing down around them.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 114,435
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Collections:
- 30
- Comments:
- 2,121
- Kudos:
- 21,800
- Bookmarks:
- 7,488
- Hits:
- 682,356
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
18 Mar 2024
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Bookmarker's Notes
:)))
dang. just. dang.
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Summary
“What do you want me to do?” Remus says, tiredly. All he wants is to curl up on his bed. Smoke a pack of cigarettes. Get drunk. He can’t stop looking at Harry.
“Remus...” Dumbledore is gentle. Remus hates when he has that tone. Hates that he knows it will hurt. “There is no one else left.”
A bitter laugh escapes him. “So you’ll curse the poor thing with a werewolf for a guardian?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,459
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 59
- Comments:
- 5,393
- Kudos:
- 51,335
- Bookmarks:
- 16,146
- Hits:
- 1,051,338
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
27 Oct 2023
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Bookmarker's Notes
:,))))
dang. this one got to me and I don’t…like kids…but little Harry gave me baby fever. god bless u author!!!!
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Because Potter Is Allergic to Poppies by Lomonaaeren
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Apr 2012
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Auror Harry Potter is in hospital being treated for a curse when someone tries to kill him. Obviously it is up to bored, trapped Apprentice Healer Draco, who was only admitted to the Healer Program in the first place to do the menial work, to find out who did it. Because then they will promote him. No, it’s for no other reason, thanks.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,118
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 118
- Kudos:
- 3,552
- Bookmarks:
- 876
- Hits:
- 57,388
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
03 Aug 2023
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Bookmarker's Notes
sheeeeeeesh. i loveeee confident harry saurrrrr much dude. this shit was sweet, hot and interesting. really, all you need in life. the three. kudos to u author, u have a gift!!! short yet encompassing, amazing and just so sweet. ugh. love drarry.
10/10
and healer Draco? must I say more? <333
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Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,476
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,165
- Kudos:
- 42,398
- Bookmarks:
- 9,083
- Hits:
- 713,032
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
22 Jul 2023
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Bookmarker's Notes
sweet short cute lumos muah
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Summary
Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts with Hermione for eighth year, he realises that something’s missing from his life, and it either has to do with Ron, his boggart, Snape, or Malfoy. Furthermore, what, exactly, does it mean when one’s life is defined by the desire to simultaneously impress and annoy a portrait? Harry has no idea; he’s too busy trying not to be in love with Malfoy to care.
Series
- Part 1 of Azoth
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 88,722
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 65
- Comments:
- 3,600
- Kudos:
- 42,022
- Bookmarks:
- 13,207
- Hits:
- 951,759
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
20 Jul 2023
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Bookmarker's Notes
sweet, short, hot.
SPOLIERS AHEAD!!
my oh my—what else can I ever want from a fic? I love love you have to work on/work for. Harry is sweet and a little dark and Malfoy is a posh angelic fag.
love love love family Christmas tropes. just so warm.
and potions master Harry? say less. I hate when people underestimate his intelligence. he was a little distracted throughout his childhood (fuck Voldemort and the dursleys) buts he’s so so very smart.
author, thank you. you write wonderfully.
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Summary
In the summer before his sixth year at Hogwarts, Harry decides to take his own words to heart - it is time to let the Gryffindor go. As he tries to navigate the world with the eyes of a Slytherin, he surprises everyone with what he discovers he’s capable of.
After all, Slytherins use any means to achieve their ends, even when they are not a fan of the means.
The sequel to Evitative.
Discontinued.
Series
- Part 2 of Mutatum
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 107,493
- Chapters:
- 17/?
- Collections:
- 38
- Comments:
- 7,010
- Kudos:
- 36,508
- Bookmarks:
- 8,024
- Hits:
- 965,949
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
19 Jul 2023
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
12
just in case this never updates again and this is the end…
SPOILERS BELOW!!
let me leave my review :D
dark Harry. you gotta love dark, slytherin, gay Harry. this has some of the best plot building and slow burn ever. it ended off as a fight and…damn that’s painful. here’s my take—and this is not bashing…
harrys right. and yeahs there’s intricacies and nuance and whatever, sure no one is always completely evil. but their choices determine their moral standing. there’s this quote…by mark Twain, I think. humans are the only evil creatures in existence because of our sense of right and wrong. tigers kill to eat. it has no moral or immoral obligation.
idk. Harry has always made the morally good choice, despite his upbringing and trauma. and although people have altered senses of right and wrong it is still our responsibility to adhere or claim responsibility for those evils.
mudbloods. I’m not sure if it’s racist or specists but it’s discriminatory. it’s pretty much unforgivable. it’s learned yeah but as someone who grew up in a bigoted household with bad parental figures…I was still able to form my own thoughts. I can separate love. i can…I learned to unlove.
anyways!! enough of that!! this fic was so well-written and thought out. I hope to see a continuation soon, regardless, this fic is one of a kind.
kudos to you author. it’s important to see the kaleidoscope of morality, and understand the intricacies of dark and light.
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Summary
Before his third year of Hogwarts has even begun, Harry faces three whole weeks of unsupervised time in Diagon Alley. In that time he takes a trip to Gringotts - and that changes everything.
Burdened with the knowledge that Dumbledore has been blocking his family magic, and manipulating far more than he ever thought possible, Harry doesn't know who he can trust; but he knows he can't keep going that way. There's a whole world of lore and politics and history to catch up on, and the more he learns, the more Harry realises his true place in the world, and how much is being kept hidden from him. All the while, Dumbledore's twinkling eyes are constantly watching, and Harry can't let on how much he knows.
With help from unexpected places, Harry starts on a journey to end the war, and reshape the wizarding world. With how much he looks like James Potter, people have forgotten one important thing about him - he is Lily Evans' son, and she was one hell of a witch.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 746,386
- Chapters:
- 109/109
- Collections:
- 181
- Comments:
- 14,066
- Kudos:
- 89,560
- Bookmarks:
- 25,897
- Hits:
- 5,539,343
Bookmarked by uronthinicepal
09 Jul 2023
Bookmarker's Collections:
Bookmarker's Notes
100229383782829/10
holy crap!! longer than the Bible!! And better!!!!! honestly longer than all of the Harry Potter series combined, and written so throughly and beautifully. be proud of yourself, this fic is fuxking astronomical and (as an aspiring Harry Potter fanfic writer myself) otherworldly. thank you, thank you, thank you for writing something like this. as a non-binary person, sully has my entire heart and being. thank you. have an amazing life, you romantic sod.