1 - 20 of 738,437 Bookmarked Items in Humor

Navigation

List of Bookmarks

  1. 5

    Tags
    Summary

    “You asked me if I like Tommy,” Eddie continues, slightly less manic now. “I don’t dislike Tommy. I just think you’re crossing oceans for someone who wouldn’t cross the street for you, Buck, and it makes me fucking sick because you can’t see it. You can’t see what you’re worth, and he’s never going to show you.”

    Buck scoffs. It’s wet and bitter and he hates the sound of it, but he can’t stop it. “Oh, and you will? You gonna show me what I’m worth, Eddie? You?”

    He doesn’t mean it to sound like a dare. But fuck, it comes out like one.

    Eddie flinches, as if Buck hit him, and for a second he looks so small — hurt and startled — before he closes it off, harder than before.

    “Fuck you, Buck.”

    Or,
    Buck asks Eddie to teach him Muay Thai to impress Tommy. Things get a little heated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,297
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    225
  2. 13

    Tags
    Summary

    Purple's hand goes still on the mouse, just ever so slightly; they let out a disbelieving little scoff.

    "You think you're safe with me?"

    "Well. You're the security guard," says White.

    "…"

    "—I'm not getting in your way, am I?" White chuckles in a way so desperate to not sound awkward or sheepish.

    "No, it's—" Purple abruptly takes a deep breath, pressing a hand to their forehead. They exhale; slow and slooping. "It's fine."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,315
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    171
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    984
  3. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Harry only meant to buy Christmas presents.

    Instead, he found Draco Malfoy again, more than a decade after the war: owner of Wizarding London's best luxury apothecary, and had somehow become much, much fitter than Harry remembered.

    Harry has questions, most of them inappropriate, and the only sensible thing to do with questions is investigate. Draco was definitely hiding something. Unfortunately, Harry's investigative instincts keep getting distracted by what Draco’s got going on under all those kaftans.

    Featuring: food as a love language, the art of technicalities, ancient magic, Harry’s overactive imagination, and Draco’s spectacular commitment to making everything more complicated than it needs to be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,005
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    167
    Kudos:
    543
    Bookmarks:
    180
    Hits:
    12,359
  4. *

    Tags
    Summary

    The Voyageurs ask Shane to join FanMail in order to foster a better connection with fans. Internet sleuths start to notice some interesting details in the background of Shane’s videos, and then the internet does...what the internet does.

    Or Shane and Ilya are granted an opportunity to come out on their own terms. Sort of. And in they do it in a very Ilya way. (Surprisingly, it is Shane’s idea)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,185
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    53
    Comments:
    3,267
    Kudos:
    62,340
    Bookmarks:
    13,474
    Hits:
    613,598
  5. 2

    Tags
    Summary

    NGL prompt:

    •Could you write a post kidnapping fic where Lucy doesn’t like/want to be home alone without Tim and can’t sleep without Tim being with her and being in his arms.
    •Prompt idea : Tim’s clingy after the kidnapping and pulls Lucy onto his lap every chance he gets

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,686
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    416
  6. 2

    Tags
    Summary

    Jaehyun has just fled the city. There's a rumor about a safe zone down south. He meets a few survivors on his way. That, and a certain ex-boyfriend who was still nursing a broken heart.

    or,

    The ddingdongz zombie apocalypse fic that nobody asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,423
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    156
  7. 28

    Tags
    Summary

    Isagi Yoichi gets a once in a lifetime opportunity to make a stopover in France before his trip to Spain, during his Pre-U-20 assignment from Ego, to further his football knowledge.

    While there Isagi's chance encounter with a mysterious stranger at the airport grants him another surprise opportunity: a whole day with 'destiny' in the form of Arsenaly midfielder, Vivien Hugo.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,350
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    143
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    801
  8. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane: You all seriously want to do this?

    Shane: Like you know this is going to be on the internet forever, right?

     

    Ilya: Sorry everyone.

    Ilya: He still has this weird sense of self-preservation.

    Ilya: We're working on it.

     

    Bood: Come on, Hollander.

    Bood: It'll be fun!

    Bood: We'll all look like idiots together.

     

    Shane: That's not as comforting as you think it is.

     

    Evan: Is there a limit on the number of rainbows and dicks that can be on the shirt?

    Evan: Asking for the person I'm buying for who maybe definitely is named Shane Hollander.

     

    Shane: I hate all of you.

     

    Ilya: See you at the airport!! ✈️👕🏒

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,096
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    403
    Kudos:
    9,154
    Bookmarks:
    854
    Hits:
    36,313
  9. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane grabbed a teaspoon from the drawer next to him and dipped it into the sauce, turning to face Ilya with his hand cupped underneath it to catch the drips. As he moved around the island, Ilya’s pulse picked up again and his brain smashed together a montage of nights like this from some imagined future. Shane cooking for him in their kitchen, offering his creation up for Ilya’s judgement. Maybe there would be a nice playlist on. Maybe the pasta would be actual pasta, not chickpea. Maybe they’d be cooking for more than just the two of them. Christ.

    Balancing on the cusp of a something new, Ilya boards a flight to Shane's cottage for two weeks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,477
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    102
    Kudos:
    1,028
    Bookmarks:
    467
    Hits:
    11,742
  10. 27

    Tags
    Summary

    Zhang Hao needs an emergency tow for his very expensive sportscar. The only available mechanic, Sung Hanbin, turns out to be the hottest person he’s ever seen and Hao needs a reason to see him again, even if it’s at the expense of his fancy car.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,213
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    858
  11. *

    Tags
    Summary

    The Hockey Buzz ✅ @HockeyBuzzOfficial
    [BREAKING] Text messages from the Boston Raiders' group chat during the years 2014–2016 have been leaked online earlier this morning. The messages, which appear to be from captain Ilya Rozanov’s phone, contain inappropriate, scandalous, and sexually explicit content. The Raiders' management has yet to issue a statement.

    Screenshots from the group chat can be accessed in the full article below. Reader discretion is advised.

    ———

    Jane
    Okay, I read through that article. Mostly to see how bad it was and how much damage control needs to be done
    And can I just say…
    Baby, I love you and I trust you. And I know you love me too
    But what the everliving fuck goes on in your team group chat

    (the raiders vs. modern texting etiquette)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,775
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    159
    Kudos:
    3,859
    Bookmarks:
    477
    Hits:
    16,125
  12. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shen Yuan’s smugness lasted up until Shen Qingqiu whisked him off to the Bamboo House, where Shen Yuan was meant to brew and serve his shizun his first pot of tea as official head disciple. Shen Qingqiu didn’t dump it on his head, thankfully, but he did give Shen Yuan a rather unnerving warning:

    “If you have the nerve to present qianyuan in the future, this master will make sure you regret it for the rest of your life.”

    Yikes! What the hell was someone supposed to say to that? Got it, I’ll make sure to control this completely uncontrollable fact of nature? Talk about unfair!

    Shen Yuan transmigrates into a cannon-fodder NPC in an omegaverse version of PIDW. He tries his best to make the most of it—with a few stumbling blocks along the way.

    Look, he doesn’t need to know all the ins and outs of omegaverse customs, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,554
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    385
    Kudos:
    2,094
    Bookmarks:
    545
    Hits:
    14,389
  13. *

    Tags
    Summary

    What if Lugunica and the Re:Zero World had Reddit, Discord, Twitter and the like?

    Imagine the Chaos with Subaru's presence!

    Quick suggestions as you read:
    1. Make sure you have Creator's Style active on this fic. It will be the best way to read it.
    2. The style is based on default AO3 skin. So if you use any other skin, it might not work the way it's intended so please use the default skin of AO3 for the best experience.
    3. If you only want to read the text, hide Creator's Style, and you should be good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,866
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    304
    Kudos:
    623
    Bookmarks:
    102
    Hits:
    13,815
  14. *

    Tags
    Summary

    [Shane Hollander is dressed in shorts and a tank top as he sits on a yoga mat in his backyard. Anya, his dog, shared with his husband, Ilya Rozanov, runs around in the background, a large stick in her mouth.]

    Ilya: [off camera] How long is this going to take?

    Shane: I dunno. Half an hour? Harris just said he needed a few different yoga poses. He’s highlighting what different players on the team do for exercise.

    Ilya: So, I have to sit here and watch you narrate a whole yoga routine?

    Shane: Yes.

    Ilya: Being married is fun.

    [Shane glares and flips off the camera. Anya can be heard barking happily.]

    Ilya: Isn’t yoga supposed to make you calm? You do not seem very calm.

    Shane: Let’s just get this over with.

    Ilya: Now you are speaking my language.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,360
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    186
    Kudos:
    6,887
    Bookmarks:
    622
    Hits:
    34,042
  15. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane Hollander has a secret life. No, not the one where he's hiding his trysts with his rival.

    He's a pseudonymous hockey romance author under the alias Jane Dutch.

    And the Metros WAGs have just picked up his first release for their book club...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,000
    Chapters:
    17/20
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    9,268
    Kudos:
    7,577
    Bookmarks:
    2,311
    Hits:
    163,216
  16. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Something both Shane and Ilya understood about hockey, that many other players didn’t, was that what separated good players from the greats was the ability and willingness to plan and engage in psychological warfare.

    Shane and Ilya went about it in different ways but that didn’t change the fundamental truth: to be the best hockey player was to be ruthless.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,701
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    503
    Kudos:
    2,385
    Bookmarks:
    765
    Hits:
    33,840
  17. *

    Tags
    Summary

    No one would believe it now, but Ilya Rozanov was a shy kid, prone to tears. Small for his age. An easy target.

    After his mother’s death, he threw himself into hockey. He hit a growth spurt. He started lifting weights, became big and strong. Not as big and strong as his older brother, but big enough to make Alexei and the other bullies think twice. Strong enough to fight back.

    (Or: Five times Ilya has to go home to Russia, and one time he chooses to go home to Shane.)
     



    This isn’t what Ilya had in mind when he figured they’d be spending most of their time at the cottage in bed.

    He throws his arm over his eyes and groans. “I am ruining our time together. I am ruining your time off.”

    “No you’re not,” Shane says. “Are you kidding me? I’ve basically been fantasizing about this.”

    Ilya lowers his arm. “About me puking all over your favorite place on earth?”

    “No, you asshole. About taking care of you.”

    Ilya stares at him.

    Shane says, defensively, “What?”

    “I fantasize about you fucking yourself on boring beige dildo,” Ilya says, voice cracking, “and you fantasize about me being sick at your cottage so you can take care of me?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,155
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    368
    Kudos:
    1,811
    Bookmarks:
    418
    Hits:
    13,304
  18. 4

    Tags
    Summary

    Buck goes through a situationship break off and Eddie is there to help his best buddy!

    They're so kissy kissy!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,603
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    609
  19. 34

    Tags
    Summary

    Mike looks up at Will excitedly. “So?”

    Will clicks his tongue. “Oh, Mike, we can’t do that. I don’t wanna single the poor guy out just because he knows about us.”

    “Will—”

    “Obviously, it’d be way better to tell everyone individually and ask them to keep it a secret so we can see how long it takes for them to realize that they all know.”

    Mike blinks, silent for a moment. Then he’s cupping Will’s cheeks. “Oh my god, I love you so much.”

    -

    @sunsetozier on Twitter: "secret relationship byler except they actually tell the whole party but they tell them all individually and tell each of them that they really just wanna keep it a secret for now 'so if you can help cover for us it'd be cool' just to see how long it takes for everyone to catch on"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,400
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    156
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    1,746
  20. *

    Tags
    Summary

    Yoo Joonghyuk is a top e-sports player who streams a computer game MMORPG called ‘Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse’.

    While he plays like a normal pro, he’s weirdly fixated on one thing. An NPC called the ’Demon King of Salvation’, the strongest final boss. Instead of fighting it, he gives it gifts every day, protects it from other players, and keeps trying to interact with it. He’s HEAVILY down bad. His obsession with this NPC grows and grows evey day, as his stream chat constantly goes wild!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    57,551
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    1,583
    Kudos:
    3,261
    Bookmarks:
    695
    Hits:
    40,655

Filters

Filter results:
Submit

Include

?
Include Ratings
Include Warnings
Include Categories
Include Fandoms
Include Characters
Include Relationships
Include Additional Tags
Include Bookmarker's Tags

Exclude

?
Exclude Ratings
Exclude Warnings
Exclude Categories
Exclude Fandoms
Exclude Characters
Exclude Relationships
Exclude Additional Tags
Exclude Bookmarker's Tags

More Options

Word count
Bookmark types
Submit

Clear Filters

Navigation