Chapter Text
“Hand me the pliers, will you?” Viktor muttered, absentmindedly extending his arm without even looking up from the workbench.
Jayce stared at his outstretched hand for a moment before sighing and placing the tool in his open palm, careful not to let their fingers brush. It was now becoming a habit: avoiding contact with him, at all costs.
He didn’t even reflect on why it felt so necessary, if not vital, to do so.
He just knew that said habit started on that night…
The night they never talked about. So much so that Jayce was beginning to wonder if he had imagined it entirely.
If it was just an elaborate fever-dream he had.
“Jayce?”
Shit.
“Sorry, what?” He said, struggling to pull his gaze from his notes.
Viktor finally glanced up to give him a quizzical look, “The pliers, not the wrench.”
“Oh.” Jayce scrambled to his feet, searching the workbench, but his eyes couldn’t seem to focus. Everything was a nonsensical, indistinguishable blur.
He heard a sigh, and the familiar thud of Viktor’s cane against the lab’s floor.
“Are you with me?” His partner asked, retrieving the pliers himself before pausing to scrutinize him.
There was something in those attentive eyes, a tension that wasn't there before. A barrier he'd already somewhat eroded after three years of working side by side with him. Carefully. Drip after drip.
It was now back on in full force.
“Yeah.” Jayce reassured him, shrugging with one arm.
“Take a break.” Viktor simply suggested, returning to his seat, his focus already back on his project.
As if a break could fix it.
But none of his thoughts had a way to be presented as reasons why he didn't consider ‘resting” as remotely useful, so he just slumped on his chair again, picking up a pencil and forcing himself to resume his sketch.
What is one more thing left unsaid?
They continued working in complete silence, Jayce trying not to let his eyes wander, sneak glances, failing, and stupidly feeling his heart sink further every time he didn't meet Viktor’s eyes on the other end.
It was irrational, childish even. But he couldn't stop.
He had wondered time and time again if Viktor had been really avoiding him. But then his friend would address him as if nothing had changed, updating him on their progress, discussing his adjustments. And every time Jayce would tell himself he was being ridiculous. That it was all in his head.
But how could it be, when they had never talked it out, let alone addressed it?
Back then, it took him the better part of a day to realize that Viktor was actually going to pretend it never happened.
As if Jayce couldn’t still feel the burning imprint of his skin, searing hot against his own.
As if he couldn’t still taste him on his tongue.
“The power source should sustain the system for at least two hours in the event of an outage,” Viktor said, examining the prototype with a slight frown. “Not bad for now, but it must be improved. Some of the black-outs have lasted far longer than that. Take a look?”
Piltover’s hospital had commissioned them a compact generator capable of powering multiple medical devices independently of the city’s electrical grid. A recent series of blackouts had nearly cost a patient his life; the son of a politician, no less.
The resulting scandal had the council pressuring them to build a generator that would fit his private room. A “life-saver”, in their words, though Viktor had quickly renamed it the “spoiled-brat-saver” as soon as they left the hospital's grounds.
He was, of course, very eager to help if it could prevent casualties, but it infuriated him that it had taken a near-tragedy affecting the wealthy for anyone to take action.
“They act as if they're the only ones worth saving.” Viktor had grumbled in one rare outburst, “They want it tailored to his private room, can you believe it? What about the other patients?”
Which was why Viktor had promptly tasked Jayce with designing a much broader system that could eventually power an entire hospital wing, if not the entire hospital. And Jayce didn't really have the heart to deny him that, given how personally his friend seemed to have taken it, so he casted their research to the side and dived into the project at the first opportunity.
Unfortunately, their client had only allocated enough funding for a single-room generator. To build anything more substantial, they would have needed outside investors. The problem hung in the air, but neither of them addressed it, mostly hoping that some solution would come to them organically as they went through the motions.
Jayce exhaled and stood, circling the workbench to inspect the generator again, trying to let himself be inspired. The compact device was drawing power from a rather complex kinetic energy storage system, designed by Viktor himself.
It always amazed Jayce, seeing what his partner could come up with in such limited time, as if an idea only needed to cross his mind to be inevitably concretized; he was truly astonishing, in everything he did.
But the flatteries had sat on his tongue, forcibly trapped just behind his teeth. When Viktor presented him with the design he merely agreed to build some of the metallic components, nothing more.
“Maybe if you modify the relay, you might squeeze out another forty minutes,” he noted, tracing the wiring schematic.
“Mmh, yes. I think so, too.” Viktor mused, tapping his fingers against the casing. “We should also consider reinforcing the whole structure. If the grid fails suddenly, a voltage spike could damage the system. Take it into consideration for your design.” The words were flat and monotone, as they often were lately.
Jayce nodded tiredly, feeling slightly sick as he glanced at the clock. “Woah. Midnight?” He breathed, suddenly realizing why he felt so exhausted. They had been working since early morning, hardly taking breaks.
“Ah, the passage of time. What a curious occurrence.” Viktor quipped, his lips curling in the faintest hint of a smile as he pulled out the relay, examining it.
Jayce froze for a second, drinking in the sight with wide eyes.
That was the first attempt at a smile in days.
He cleared his throat.
“Put that down. We’re going to bed.” Jayce announced, hurrying to his station to gather his papers.
A canned soup ready to be eaten was waiting for him in his closet. As was his soft bed. That's what he needed to think about.
“You go ahead.” Viktor replied, already beginning to take apart the small bobbin.
Jayce rolled his eyes at the familiar string of words. “You know? If you end up in the hospital right now there will be no ‘workaholic-brat-saver’ helping you.”
A little smile spread on his face when Viktor actually chuckled.
He had missed it… so much that it was painful. If he could, he would trap it, hold onto it, play it back over and over until the dull ache in his chest finally eased.
It made him unsteady.
And maybe that was why he found himself breaking the unspoken rule.
Without processing the thought, he reached out, his fingers wrapping gently around Viktor’s wrist to pry the relay from his hand.
But he hadn't even reached it when his friend flinched, his entire body immediately tensing like a rod. Before Jayce could even register it Viktor slapped his hand away, breathing unevenly through his nostrils.
Ah…
…There it is.
The invisible line he couldn’t prove was there until he crossed it.
“I’m… sorry… ”
His friend exhaled again through his nose, lightly rubbing the wrist Jayce had just touched. “I’ll wrap things up soon; see you tomorrow.” He dismissed him, sounding way too casual for someone who had just recoiled from another person.
His best friend.
The friend he regretted making love to.
Whispering his name against his bare skin.
And truthfully, some part of Jayce had expected this. He had imagined it a thousand times in his head, trying to brace himself for when it finally happened.
But it did nothing to make it hurt any less.
Before the sting in his eyes became something more, Jayce turned on his heels and stormed out of the lab.
He needed to be drunk. So drunk he’d forget everything come morning, because if he stopped… if he let himself think…
Why had he lost his control that night?
Why had he lost his friend?
He would have given anything to turn back time. To undo it all. To forget the way Viktor’s lips had felt against his own, the way he had shivered against him when Jayce’s fingers had caressed the skin on his ribs from underneath his shirt, trailing lower, resting on the narrow curve of his waist.
Those molten amber eyes were half-lidded as he looked up at him, flushed and dazed.
Unguarded in a way that Viktor never was.
And Jayce couldn’t believe what was in front of him…
“Stop looking at me like that.” Viktor had breathed, his heady voice barely more than a whisper against his lips.
Then his hand had pressed lightly against Jayce’s chest, hesitant at first, before pushing off the wall and closing the distance, his arms winding around Jayce’s neck.
Jayce grabbed the liquor bottle he had hidden in his wardrobe and downed a few long sips, the burn in his throat briefly distracting him from the memories.
But the cold rim of the bottle was a pathetic substitute to the unbelievable tenderness of his friend's lips, slotted against his own as they frantically kissed, stumbling across the lab until Jayce felt his back hit his desk.
“Vee…” He remembered helplessly calling his name, then grabbing ahold of him and turning them around, sitting Viktor on the scattered papers and-
“Shit…”
He took another long sip.
That was going to be another long night.
.
.
.
Drinking on an empty stomach had been a huge mistake… as any person with half a brain cell could have predicted. His head throbbed viciously with every movement, fueling the ever growing nausea invading his gut.
He rubbed his forehead, trying to focus on that stupid design; the plan was to scale up Viktor’s system, expanding it to more than a single room. But no matter how many times he recalculated, the energy output wasn’t enough.
Not even close.
Three hospital rooms was the goal for the time being, but with each adjustment, the numbers refused to align. The release rate just wasn’t there.
And Jayce was too hungover to think.
Viktor was nowhere to be seen, so Jayce had taken refuge at the coffee machine, hoping a strong dose of caffeine might restore the composure he so desperately needed to face another excruciating day in his presence.
When Viktor finally arrived, it was alongside Heimerdinger, both deep in discussion.
“I tried to reason with him but he refused to budge, my boy.” Heimerdinger said, as they approached.
Jayce barely needed to glance at Viktor to know he was livid. He had spent enough time deciphering his carefully restrained expressions to recognize the simmering anger beneath his calm facade.
“Regardless,” Viktor bit out, “how do they expect us to speed up a process we don’t even fully understand yet? We are trying our best, but they can’t seriously expect us to whip up something this complex in a week! If it were that easy, this wouldn’t even be a matter of discussion.”
“I’ll try to talk them out of this.” The professor offered, doing a rather obvious double take on Jayce before bidding him his greetings.
Jayce instinctively straightened, running a hand through his hair in a useless attempt to look more put-together. “Huh… What’s the issue?”
Viktor let out a sharp huff as he sank into his seat, rubbing his forehead. “Our generous commissioner has threatened to cut his annual funds to the Academy if we don’t produce a viable solution within the next week,” he said, voice dripping with disdain.
Jayce blinked. “You’re joking.”
“I wish.”
“Apparently, there was another outage last night. It seems some kind of damage occurred within the city’s electrical grid.” The professor informed him, visibly worked up.
Jayce exhaled slowly, dragging a hand down his face. As if they didn’t have enough pressure already, “They can’t be allowed to do that, can they? This is absurd.”
“I’m afraid they are well within their rights to do as they please with their donations, son.”
“But we’re already struggling to find new investors as it is! This would be a disaster.” Jayce groaned, instantly regretting the way he had thrown his hands up in frustration when his head gave another sharp throb.
“We’ll see what we can do, Professor,” Viktor interjected with a sigh, already gathering his blueprints and pinning them up on the corkboard. “Do keep us updated.”
Heimerdinger nodded before taking his leave, leaving them alone once again.
Jayce swallowed hard, hating how off-kilter he felt in such a critical moment… and the poorly thought-out decisions of last night.
“I guess we should focus solely on this for now,” Viktor said, adjusting the papers into a neat line before turning to him. “We’ll figure out the rest later.”
“Yeah. Of course.” Jayce responded quickly… maybe too quickly, he realized. He could feel Viktor’s sharp gaze studying him with a light frown.
Jayce scrambled to collect his last designs and notebook, joining him at the board with a forced composure. He could still sense Viktor watching him for a few more agonizing moments before, at last, he looked away and reached for a piece of chalk.
He must have looked terrible… or maybe Viktor was just still mad at him for breaking the damned rule.
He didn't want to find out either way.
There wasn't time for that.
They threw ideas around for an entire hour, as Jayce desperately tried to keep his breakfast down instead of all over the lab's floor.
“Okay so, maybe if we alter the switching mechanism, we might be able to extend the runtime.” Jayce reasoned, focusing on the structure of the bobbin that Viktor had sketched out.
His friend nodded, tapping his fingers against the board. “Yes… every switch wastes a fraction of stored energy in heat dissipation.”
Jayce wiped his forehead when he realized he was breaking a cold sweat, “So we’d need to increase the delay between each activation to reduce unnecessary switching?”
Why had he downed the entire bottle? That was so unnecessary, he thought in retrospect.
Although at the moment it had seemed the only possible solution.
“Exactly,” Viktor confirmed, still looking at the board. “But we cannot let the delay become too long, or the system risks a voltage drop that could disrupt pow-”
A clatter echoed around the room as Jayce's head spun, causing him to tumble against the workbench behind him.
Viktor’s head snapped toward him, “Jayce?”
“Yeah, I'm listening.” He croaked out, sitting down before his legs finally decided to give up on him.
“Are you unwell?” Viktor asked, ultimately directing all of his attention to him and slowly approaching. His expression betrayed a faint, ill-concealed trace of concern.
Jayce had grieved those eyes when Viktor had started avoiding him but, strangely enough, he now couldn't sustain them for more than a couple of seconds.
They made him feel like he couldn't breathe properly.
“No.” He lied, eager to go back to work and avoid further scrutiny, “Where were we?”
No, he could not have Viktor fussing over him and then go back to giving him the cold shoulder.
He couldn't bear it.
“You're pale.” The other observed, leaning over to get a closer look.
And Jayce couldn’t help but raise his head again, finding himself mere inches from his friend's face. Feeling the warmth radiating off of him, comforting, if he didn’t allow himself to think.
“You're still paler.” He tried to joke, probably failing to sound humorous as he tried not to bask in their sudden proximity.
Or in the scent of his friend, so much fainter than when he'd stuffed his nose in the crook of his neck, tasting it on his skin.
Stop.
“I thought we agreed on not ending up in a hospital bed until we engineered a proper brat-saving device, no?” He noted with his usual soft spoken irony, masked with a thick layer of faux cluelessness.
And Jayce couldn’t help but think.
Mainly about how he adored it… everything.
From the stupid way Viktor masked his concern for him to the way his accent sounded on his voice.
And he was almost tempted to lean into it. Have him worried, just so he could have more of his attention.
No, no, no.
Fuck it.
Stop.
This is not how friends think about each other, he told himself.
This is exactly why Viktor can't even stand you touching him for more than a second.
“W-What if we integrate a secondary relay with a staggered response?” Those pretty eyes flickered with interest, causing his heart to painfully miss a beat.
It was embarrassing, really… how much he enjoyed impressing him. One could think it had become the sole purpose of his work.
Viktor considered the idea, and Jayce could see it coming together as his eyes became unfocused, staring beyond him. “A dual-relay system… the primary could handle baseline fluctuations, while the secondary only activates if voltage drops below a critical level.”
Jayce nodded, taking the opportunity to scurry away, putting distance between them.
He needed another coffee. A double one.
“That's worth a shot. Let’s model it,” Viktor said, picking up a fresh sheet of paper. “If we can push the runtime beyond four hours, we might actually… ‘keep the monkeys in the circus’.” He concluded grimacing, the previous irritation raising again just below the surface.
Jayce snorted, taking a seat on the other side of his own desk, across Viktor.
His gaze unconsciously flickered to one of the crumpled papers still sitting at the edge of his station…
The ones he should have already gotten rid of.
Suddenly, in his mind Viktor's fist was curling onto them while Jayce undid his shirt, exposing his delicate collar bones.
He inhaled deeply, forcing his focus on the blueprint before him. They started working again, in the kind of silence that needed no words. But every brief glance between them was enough to tacitly dictate the next step.
This was exactly why they became partners in the first place; avoiding each other would have never been sustainable, and they both knew it.
They had to move past it.
Or at least, Jayce did… because Viktor seemed very keen on forgetting.
It had probably meant nothing to him… just a lighthearted tryst.
A fleeting distraction brought on by exhaustion.
The sad truth was that Jayce had no one to blame but himself for wanting more than what was ever on offer. And now, he had to live with the consequences.
He couldn't shake the feeling that Viktor had assigned him a side project to give him more time to collect himself, get his head straight. After all, the first few days had been rough on him… not that the last days weren't.
But maybe he had looked just so pathetic to prompt that decision.
Or maybe… he just wanted him at arm's length...
“Jayce, are you even listening?” Viktor's voice came into focus a tad too late, and he straightened up quickly, his cheeks flushing.
Fuck… “Sorry, what?”
Viktor blinked at him for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly before repeating: “I said ‘we should test under different loads’.”
“Right… okay.” Jayce exhaled, running a hand over his face before starting to obsessively rearrange his tools on the bench. “We can run separate configurations and compare results.”
Viktor didn’t respond right away. Instead, his fingers came up to fidget with a loose strand of hair, an old nervous tell Jayce knew like the back of his hand.
“Is everything alright, Jayce?” he asked eventually, before shifting his gaze to the desk.
“Yeah,” Jayce murmured, biting the inside of his cheek. “I just… didn't get enough sleep.”
The fact that Viktor even had to ask… that he didn’t already know… was just a confirmation of what Jayce had been thinking.
That he hadn’t given that night a second thought…
Maybe Viktor was even disgusted by what they did.
By him.
“It is late. We can do it tomorrow.” His friend said, still not looking.
Jayce didn’t need to be told twice.
.
.
.
He could live with it, Jayce had decided that morning.
No power in the entire universe was able to force one person to feel something perpetually.
It would pass.
He could live with it.
That morning they were at work earlier than usual to carry out the plan they’d arranged the day prior.
The first prototype failed almost immediately, the secondary relay tripping too early and cutting power rather than conserving it.
The second fared better but overheated under sustained loads.
The third showed promise, holding steady for nearly two hours before an unstable current surge fried the contacts.
“Damn it,” Jayce muttered, tossing another burnt-out fuse into the scraps bin. He pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling slowly before scribbling down a few notes.
“Perhaps if we recalibrate the magnetic coil…” The other suggested after a while.
Jayce frowned, considering it. “But we’d need to smooth out the fluctuations or we’ll be back to square one.”
Viktor nodded, already reaching for a screwdriver. They were working rather peacefully, soldering, rewiring, and running new calculations, their usual rhythm gladly unaltered by whatever was going on in Jayce’s head.
Which he could live with, he repeated himself.
They tested and retested, cycling through configurations until their notes became an indecipherable mess of poorly drawn schematics overlapping with rows of considerations, half of them scribbled in Viktor’s native language when exhaustion dulled his patience for translating his own thoughts.
Each attempt brought them closer to the solution, but never quite close enough; the last effort had resisted voltage fluctuations but had bled energy too quickly to be viable.
Jayce groaned, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “We’re missing something,” he muttered, his frustration mounting. “How is it that every fix creates a new problem?”
Viktor sat on his stool, idly spinning a screwdriver between his fingers. “Eh… we’re close,” he mused, though there was a flicker of irritation in his tone. “We just need more control over the activation window.”
Jayce exhaled, forcing himself to think past the exhaustion fogging his brain. “Maybe if we rework the inductor to stabilize the switch timing-”
“We tried that.” Viktor cut in, shaking his head. “It reduced power loss, but we still couldn’t sustain an uninterrupted flow.” He flipped open his notebook, jabbing a finger at a densely packed page filled with characters Jayce couldn’t even begin to decipher.
Jayce squinted. “That might as well be an inkblot test.”
Viktor followed his gaze, blinking at his own notes before clearing his throat, flushing ever so slightly. “Well… I assure you, it says exactly that.”
…Cute.
But he could live with it.
Jayce sighed, slumping back in his chair. “Great.”
After a few minutes of silence Viktor exhaled sharply, tearing his eyes from the notebook and pushing himself up from his chair. “Alright. Back to the board.”
Jayce groaned but didn’t argue, rubbing his temples as he stood. They had gone in circles for hours, and yet, giving up wasn’t an option. The relay needed to work if they wanted the funds to continue their main research.
As the night fell inexorably, the board in front of them gradually became a mess of half erased calculations and desperate last minute ideas that had led nowhere.
Jayce sighed slowly, passing a hand down his face. His body felt sluggish, absolutely plastered with fatigue, but Viktor seemed determined to go on, so he resisted the urge of laying on the floor and fully pass out.
“Maybe we’re overcomplicating it,” Viktor muttered with a voice that had become hoarse from hours of talking. His accent was thicker than usual.
Cute…
…He could live with it.
“Or maybe,” Jayce countered, “and I say it in a way that is purely hypothetical, we are simply too drained to see what is right in front of us right now.”
Viktor let out a dry chuckle, turning his head slightly. His drowsy eyes glinted like topazes in the dim light. “Your hypothesis may have… some credibility.” He laughed weakly, glancing in his direction for a split second.
They’re so pretty.
I want them always on me…
“Some, huh?” He said instead.
“As with every hypothesis, it needs to be tested.” Viktor reminded him softly, his head slightly tipping forward like he could barely hold it up anymore.
His friend's balance wavered for a fraction of a second so brief that if Jayce had been any more tired, he might not have noticed.
But he did.
And his instinct kicked in before any rational thought could. He moved to steady him, reaching out to catch him by the waist and pulling him in slightly.
The exhaustion caused Jayce to stumble back against the blackboard, and Viktor just barely caught himself with a hand on his shoulder to avoid crashing into him.
He held his breath; the warmth of Viktor’s body against his, the ghost of his breath fanning against his lips… It sent a wave through him, a rush that made his legs buckle with something that had very little to do with his tiredness.
Neither of them moved.
They just held each other's stare, transfixed like deers in the headlights.
That was until Viktor’s hand carelessly slid down his chest to move away.
His own hand involuntarily shot up to grab it… in a desperate, unconscious attempt to keep it there, right against him.
To prolong the feeling for just one moment… Even if it made shame constrict his throat.
Even if it would only hurt more in the long run.
Jayce would welcome the hurt…
His friend’s eyes widened just a fraction.
But he didn’t pull away.
He'd seemed like he was going to… But then his gaze flickered downward, resting on where Jayce’s hand was holding his.
They were so close…
Jayce was starving for him…
He couldn’t think anymore… God, he didn’t want to think. He was too tired.
Too high on the way Viktor felt against him. On the heat pooling low in his stomach at just the lightest hint of his touch.
He let out a shaky breath, ever so slightly tightening the grip on that stupidly pretty waist.
Inevitably, his eyes fell on Viktor’s slightly parted lips, like two helpless magnets.
Just once, then he could live with it…
Viktor swayed forward, just barely, enough for his nose to brush against Jayce’s cheek. He could smell the coffee on his breath… And he deliriously thought that it was the only way he’d ever want to taste it again.
He couldn’t identify who leaned in first, because any rational thought was immediately obliterated when their lips finally connected.
The kiss started off slow and languid, but very quickly escaped their control, becoming hurried, as if they both couldn't waste another second.
When Jayce let his tongue slip against Viktor's lips, his friend made a sound… So soft, barely audible, but it vibrated in his skull.
His hands reflectively spread against the small of Viktor’s back, pulling him in a bit more.
He needed him closer.
Miraculously, Viktor still didn’t pull away. No, his other hand curled into the fabric of Jayce’s shirt and held on for dear life.
The sound of his cane clattering to the floor echoed through the lab, but it was distant and muffled by the beats of his own heart in his ears and their rushed breaths between every exchanged kiss.
The exhaustion was still there, but somehow it only made the pull stronger, impossible to fight. Stripped of any hesitation, of logic, of whatever barrier had been keeping them apart since that night.
Viktor kissed him hard, and Jayce let himself believe that he’d been holding back just as much as he had by the way his mouth parted easily against his own, soft and pliant as he nibbled, licked and kissed him like he could never get enough.
And he really… Fucking couldn't.
There was another hurried inhale between them, then a broken hum when Jayce backed Viktor against the board, his hands bracing on either side of him, erasing rows of their calculations.
He couldn’t bring himself to care in the moment.
Even if he distantly knew he should stop. They should stop. They weren’t thinking straight. In fact, they weren’t thinking at all…
And they’d already made that mistake once…
But every thought halted in his brain when Viktor’s fingers tangled in his hair, tugging just enough to send a fresh wave of heat through him. And Jayce growled low in his throat, deepening their kiss with hunger.
Fuck.
He…
He couldn’t live with it.
He couldn't live with the thought of Viktor not belonging in his arms.
Jayce’s hands cradled Viktor’s face, smearing chalk all over his cheeks as he pressed another desperate kiss on his lips.
… I've missed you so much.
He gently grabbed Viktor’s bad thigh, raising it on his hip. Then he turned them around, feeling his friend climb on him with his other leg, and the lithe arms circling his neck as he softly bit Jayce’s lip.
Overwhelmed, he leaned his head down, stuffing it in his favorite place to be… the crook of Viktor’s neck, littering small wet pecks all over it, absolutely drunk on his scent and taste alone.
He could feel himself throb in his pants when Viktor let out a quiet, barely restrained moan in his ear. He had never been so hard in his life just from making out with someone.
But there was simply nothing more brain shattering to him than his friend’s voice as he lost his usual, ever present poised control.
By his own making.
They ended up on Viktor’s desk this time, and his hands immediately started ridding him of his waistcoat… loosening his ascot to expose more of that candid skin. He kissed Viktor's chest lower and lower as he haphazardly undid the buttons of his shirt.
He needed him. Needed every atom of that body and that mind-
“Ah… Jayce-”
God.
He was so screwed.
He was delirious.
“Jayce, s-stop.” Viktor breathed sharply against his hair.
His blood ran cold in a matter of seconds.
Jayce snapped his head up and planted his hands on either side of Viktor, taking a few shallow breaths in their shared air. “What? What’s wrong?” He panted, searching those gems for any sign of hurt or discomfort.
Viktor hid them from view, covering them with an arm as he slowly caught his breath, “This… This is all wrong.” Jayce could see the corners of his lips, still kissed-out and swollen, pulling downward in a pained grimace.
Oh…
Jayce swallowed, his throat suddenly too tight to breathe.
This? He thought, momentarily unable to compute coherent thoughts, let alone comprehend them.
Because he could not possibly mean it…
Hesitantly, he placed a hand over Viktor’s arm, lowering it to look him in the eye, to find some semblance of explanation in there.
And he could pinpoint the exact moment his heart shattered in his chest when he caught a glimpse of the unmistakable pools of unshed tears there… before Viktor turned away, hiding again.
It was… his fault.
He'd made his friend fucking cry.
Jayce had never seen Viktor cry.
He swallowed again around the lump in his throat, pulling himself away hastily.
“Vee… wait, please, I-”
His friend was already giving him his back, fumbling to gather his clothes. “We should-” He cleared his throat nervously, “We… should go now.”
He left in a hurry, without putting his clothes back on, or sparing him a glance. Without even closing the door behind him.
All while Jayce could only stand there, feeling as if his insides were being ripped out of him and stepped on.
As it turned out…
He could never live with it.
Not in a million years.