Work Text:
Sometimes, Mu Qing felt the crushing weight of every little thing he's ever bottled up. When it becomes too much, he waits until he's in the safety of his room, before locking himself inside and letting out everything he's felt. It helps, but not much. He knows he should talk to someone about it, ask for help even.
But the thought of doing so sent shivers down his spine. He pushed the thought aside, never to be thought of again. Right now, he had to clean his now messy room. That night, he had let out all of his rage and frustration. Once he was done cleaning all the mess, he got ready for bed and laid down on his bed, grabbing the pillowing and screaming into it.
His screams were filled with anger, pain, sadness, pretty much everything he felt. He wanted so badly to not muffle his screams, wanted so badly to scream to the top of his lungs until he couldn't scream anymore.
Yet, he kept to himself. Only letting him be himself in the safety of his room. He'd never let anyone see him like this! He was too pathetic, too vulnerable, too weak. He soon took the pillow and brought it back under his head, closing his eyes so he could finally get some sleep.
Or at least, try to get some sleep. No matter how much he tossed and turned, he couldn't sleep. He huffed and stared at the ceiling in his room. Eventually, he finally managed to fall asleep, letting the darkness creep in.
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A horrible, screeching sound was heard throughout the forest, making the fear already swelling in Mu Qing's chest take over his entire being. He continued to run, dodging tree branches, logs, rocks, anything that would slow him down really. He didn't DARE to look back, didn't dare to stop. He just kept running, wanting desperately to get away from the horrible thing chasing him.
Unfortunately, his luck was rotten that night, because he tripped and fell onto the ground with a grunt. He turned and backed away, his back soon hitting the tree as a human-like figure towered above him with glowing red eyes, and a wicked smirk forming on it's pale face. "No where left to run, General Xuan Zhen~" The ghost said, chuckling as they blocked Mu Qing's escape.
"You poor soul, wanting so bad to have a friend, wanting so desperately, for someone to care about you~ But how can you have any of that, when all you've done to those around you is fail, and make them hate you?" The ghost said, laughing when Mu Qing tried to strike them with his sabre. Unfortunately, the ghost dodged, and kept taunting him.
"You want his highness to be your friend, want General Nan Yang to look your way~ Surely you know, you could never have something like that?" The ghost asked, tilting it's head, the wicked grin forming as Mu Qing growled at them. "SHUT UP!" He shouted, attempting once again, to attack the ghost. He failed to land a hit. Again.
The ghost laughed, then took on a different form, one that had Mu Qing frozen where he stood. The ghost took on the form of Xie Lian. "His highness didn't even recognize you when he reascended~" They said, then took on the form of Feng Xin. "General Nan Yang is constantly at odds with you~" They said, walking over and pinning Mu Qing to the tree, making him drop his sabre.
He mentally cursed himself and struggled to free himself. "Do them a favor, General Xuan Zhen..." They said, taking on their original form and leaning in close to Mu Qing's ear. "Let yourself fall into the lava. Lessen their burden by dying. After all, who is going to miss someone as worthless as you?" They said, backing away and disappearing into the night. Mu Qing suddenly found himself next to a pool of lava.
He slowly walked towards it, eyes empty as they stare at the lava. He stopped just at the edge of the cliff leading to the lava below. He went to take another step forward, to really end it all, until a voice made him stop. "Mu Qing!" A voice shouted. The voice was distant, and he almost missed it, but he heard it.
He looked behind him, blinking in confusion, as his eyes became a little less empty. "Who...?" He mumbled, and the voice shouted again. "Mu Qing, wake up!" The voice shouted. Suddenly, everything around him began to fade, and Mu Qing was once again plunged into darkness.
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Mu Qing gasped and sat upright in bed with great speed, his breathing coming out in quick, uneven breaths. He gasped as he felt someone grab his wrists, and he struggled to free himself. "LET GO OF ME!" He shouted, kicking and squirming as much as he could, but the grip didn't falter. "Mu Qing, stop! It's me, Feng Xin!" The same voice shouted.
Mu Qing stopped struggling suddenly, and looked at the person in front of him. It took a little while for his nightmare clouded eyes to register, but Feng Xin was, indeed, sitting in front of him, strong hands holding onto his wrists, a look of concern and worry in his eyes. That part didn't make sense to him. "Feng Xin...?" He asked, voice quiet even to his own ears.
Feng Xin's expression grew more worried, and he moved closer to him. "It was just a nightmare." He assured him, now holding onto Mu Qing's hands, his thumb rubbing soothing circles over Mu Qing's knuckles.
Mu Qing wasn't familiar with this gentle touch from Feng Xin. He had wanted it, longed for it, for so long, but he just couldn't believe he was receiving it now. It felt like a dream. That's when Mu Qing realized sadly, that this had to be a dream. Feng Xin wasn't really here. He wasn't actually there, doing his best to comfort Mu Qing.
Mu Qing wondered if he should pull away, but he hesitated. Surely he could be himself, right? If this is a dream, and this Feng Xin was just a dream, then he could let himself fall apart, couldn't he? As soon as that thought crossed his mind, tears began to form in his eyes, and he bit his lip and kept his head down. "Feng Xin..." He said, his voice so broken, even to his own ears. "I'm so tired..." He mumbled, tears falling freely.
The next thing he knew, he was being pulled into strong arms, and he couldn't help the gasp that escaped passed his lips. Oh, now this was cruel. His mind was so, so cruel, letting this dream version of Feng Xin hug him and hold him like he mattered. "Mu Qing...I'm here..." Feng Xin said, holding him close and putting one hand on the back of Mu Qing's head. "I've got you..." He added.
Mu Qing let himself melt into the touch, slowly wrapping his arms around dream Feng Xin. He shook terribly, until he couldn't hold in his sobs anymore. He sobbed loudly, gripping onto Feng Xin like a lifeline. Feng Xin held him, rubbing his back soothingly while keeping on hand behind Mu Qing's head, letting his face rest on the crook of his neck.
They stayed like that for a while, and by the time Mu Qing managed to stop the tears, he let himself say everything he's been holding in. "I did things that I regret, things I wish I could change..." He said, his breath shuddering a little before he continued. "I...I wanted his highness to see me as a friend...And I...I wanted you to see me as something more..." He admitted. He could feel how Feng Xin tensed in surprise at that.
"What...?" Feng Xin asked, moving so they now looked each other in the eyes. Mu Qing, still believing this was all a dream, let kept talking. "I've loved you for so long, but I knew I couldn't have you..." He said, staring at Feng Xin with sad eyes. "How could I have you, when you hate me so much...?" He asked, dropping his gaze down to his lap.
He expected Feng Xin to yell at him, be disgusted, but he didn't expect him to hold his hands in his. "I don't hate you! I never hated you!" Feng Xin said, making Mu Qing look at him, shock clear on his face. "Damn it, we really need to learn how to communicate better." Feng Xin grumbled. Before Mu Qing could say anything, Feng Xin kissed him, making him gasp.
That was when he realized that this wasn't a dream. Feng Xin was real, and he was here, kissing Mu Qing while holding his hands. Before he could respond to the kiss, or pull away, Feng Xin pulled away, looking at him with so much sincerity in his eyes. "I love you, Mu Qing. I should've told you a long time ago, but I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same." He said, tightening his grip on his hands.
Mu Qing stared at him, eyes wide with shock. "This....This is real...? You...You love me...?" He couldn't help but ask. It seemed too good to be true. There was no way that Feng Xin could love him! But the honesty in his eyes was almost overwhelming. "This isn't a dream. I love you, more than you could imagine." Feng Xin said, kissing both of Mu Qing's hands.
Mu Qing blushed when both of his hands were kissed, but for the first time in over 800 years, he let himself relax around another person. He could feel the tension leave his body, and he held onto Feng Xin's hands. "I...I love you too...." He confessed. Feng Xin smiled at him, and Mu Qing thought it was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
Feng Xin captured his lips in a kiss, and this time, Mu Qing was quick to respond. The kiss was soft, and their lips fit perfectly together, like they were made for each other. Eventually, they pulled away, panting with faces almost as red as cherries.
"Hang on...Why are you here?" Mu Qing asked, finally realizing how weird it was for Feng Xin to suddenly be in his room. Feng Xin blushed even more, if that was even possible, and rubbed the back of his neck. "I couldn't sleep, so I went for a walk, and, well...I heard you scream." He told him. Mu Qing felt embarrassment creeping in and he flushed, then looked away, a strange shyness taking over.
"I should go." Feng Xin said, still blushing. Before he could stop himself, Mu Qing reached out and grabbed Feng Xin's arm. "Wait, don't go!" He said, face turning bright red when Feng Xin looks at him. "Could you...stay...?" He asked, willing himself to look Feng Xin in the eyes. A soft look overtook Feng Xin's face and he moved closer. "I can stay." He said.
When Mu Qing finally felt calm enough to go back to sleep, Feng Xin stayed and laid down next to Mu Qing. For the rest of the night, Mu Qing felt at peace, happy that the one he loved for so long, loved him back.
He stared at Feng Xin's sleeping, peaceful face, before smiling and falling asleep himself, falling into a peaceful sleep.