what_am_i_doing10



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    07 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya was used to hazing. He had been subjected to it, he had participated in it, and, as a captain, he had stood guard over the rookies and protected them from anything truly harmful. But if he had been asked, Ilya would have approved of this prank. He would have authorized it, given Cliff and Vicky his seal of approval, perhaps even helped orchestrate it.

    Any other day, Ilya might have been happy to play along.

    But, in perfect dramatic irony, it had not happened any other day. It had happened today. And, cherry on top, of course the rookie had to walk in when Shane was already freaking out about Ilya saying his name.

    +++

    A prank-gone-wrong leads to the Boston Bears finding out about Shane and Ilya’s relationship in 2016. The day Ilya first invited Shane into his house. Right after they say each other’s names for the first time. Fuck his life, honestly.

    Series
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    English
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    30,173
    Chapters:
    3/3
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    21 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Shane Hollander’s having a big gay wedding.”
    Ilya’s ball rocketed sideways into the woods with a crack like a rifle shot; somewhere in the trees, a goose honked in outrage.
    “Jesus Christ,” Tyler said.
    “Wow,” Marly said. “That was…what the fuck was that, Roz?”
    Ilya was gripping the club so hard his knuckles had gone white. “Bad swing.”
    “That wasn’t a bad swing, that was like a physics-defying swing. I didn’t know you could make a ball go in that direction. You okay?”
    “Fine.” Hollander was getting married. Getting gay married. Who the fuck was Hollander marrying? He wasn’t even… Ilya cleared his throat, shoved his biggest club back in the bag, noted distantly that his hands were shaking. “Hollander is gay?”

    OR: Ten years after the Tampa Bay All-Star Game, Ilya Rozanov crashes Shane Hollander's wedding

    Language:
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    8/8
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    17 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    The problem was, Ilya couldn’t quite explain it himself. After a few minutes of ruminating, he finally settles on:

    Why do I want to eat my husband?

    Top result: Wife found guilty of cannibalising her husband, remains found in basement

    Ilya frowns down at his screen. Well that wasn’t it. He huffs quietly in frustration, before backspacing and trying again.

    Wanting to squish and bite my husband

    The search lags, and Ilya taps the tips of his thumbs impatiently against the screen, chewing on his bottom lip. Finally the page refreshes.

    Top result: Why boundaries in relationships are important

    Ilya rolls his eyes, on the verge of giving up.

    or

    Ilya has a severe case of cuteness aggression when it comes to his heavily pregnant husband, and he doesn’t quite know what to do about it.

    (+ now with bonus scenes of Shane and Ilya being dads!)

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    2/2
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    17 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’m right here. And you are okay, and you are safe, and healthy, and you are at home, yes? It is quiet, and nobody is there, nobody is bothering you. And the world is full of stupid idiots, but you are not one of them. And I am here. When you need me, I am here.”

    ---------

    or: The whole world thinks Shane is gay because of some stupid internet rumors, and he doesn't even have to confirm it. He's losing control of his entire life and he needs somewhere to put what little he does have.

    Ilya has open hands.

    Language:
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    20 Mar 2026