15 Bookmarks by DeliciouslyImpetuous
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Summary
Hermione is back in England after eight years. Her first order of business is to attend a dinner party hosted by DILFs.
The Eight Rules for Fucked Up Individuals: A Dinner -
1. Leave work at the door. If you must talk about work, take a shot.
2. Wear Black. This isn’t a funeral, but we are mourning the people we used to be, and the expectations of who we’ll never become.
3. Compliments must be specific; the more unhinged the better.
4. You cannot say “I’m Fine”...Unless you give a 3-5 sentence monologue explaining why you are absolutely not.
5. Everyone is encouraged to share their pettiest opinion. The smaller the hill, the harder you die on it.
6. Crying is allowed. If you cry, you get first dibs on dessert.
7. Everyone must toast to something they’ve lost. Metaphors are allowed.
8. If you fall in love, you must declare it. Lust counts.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,700
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 101
- Kudos:
- 1,311
- Bookmarks:
- 230
- Hits:
- 11,802
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
05 Jul 2026
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Marriage is largely a matter of perspective. From hers, Draco Malfoy is an exceptionally good husband.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,898
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 195
- Kudos:
- 1,132
- Bookmarks:
- 199
- Hits:
- 10,669
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
22 Jun 2026
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A Silver Sickle in Your Shoe by Ceilidhchaos, SarahFraser
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 May 2023
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Summary
The birth rate in magical Britain is so low that a Marriage Law has been put into place. The Unspeakables have used testing to determine compatibility and some of the matches are a bit of a surprise. Pansy Parkinson finds herself set to marry her on-again, off-again lover, Theodore Nott, and the Chosen One himself, Harry Potter. Theo’s a mess and he and Pansy have a decade of drama between them. And she did try to offer Potter up to Voldemort that one time, but she really hoped he wasn’t still holding a grudge about that.
Series
- Part 2 of Marriage Law Stories
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,631
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 27
- Kudos:
- 442
- Bookmarks:
- 75
- Hits:
- 9,675
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
31 May 2026
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The Devil In The Details by inadaze22, jaxxinabox for dreamsofdramione
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
13 Nov 2021
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Summary
“You misunderstand, Minister.” Appreciative grey eyes drank her in like wine he wanted to savour. When he had his fill, a slow smirk curled the edges of his lips. “You don’t need an escort. You need a partner.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,186
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 21
- Comments:
- 100
- Kudos:
- 5,634
- Bookmarks:
- 1,328
- Hits:
- 152,455
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
26 May 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger survived two years in enemy hands. Or so she claims. But in a war where minds can be tampered with, survival is no guarantee of freedom. The Order watches her now, suspicion mounting as one question weighs heavier than the rest.
They say no one escapes the Harrower whole.
So how did she?
***
“I built my heart out of ice on purpose, Granger. I needed it like that. It’s what kept me alive. How dare you set it on fire. How dare you fucking ruin me.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,892
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 331
- Kudos:
- 1,941
- Bookmarks:
- 526
- Hits:
- 24,775
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
21 May 2026
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Summary
“Hermione, I don’t think Malfoy has been teasing or insulting you. I think…” Ginny rolled her tongue in her mouth, struggling to speak the next words: “I think he was trying to court you.”
“What? No!"
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Hermione is determined to smile through Malfoy’s blatant taunting without biting his head off.
Draco is delighted that Hermione responds well to his courtship instead of biting his head off.
Series
- Part 1 of A Study in Devotion
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 170,000
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 2,649
- Kudos:
- 7,009
- Bookmarks:
- 2,927
- Hits:
- 333,326
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
12 May 2026
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Summary
Complete! Hermione takes advantage of an invite to the Malfoys' ball to do some detective work on the slippery Mr Lucius Malfoy. But things do not go to plan. Not even remotely.
Power dynamics, sexual politics, polyjuice hijinks and plenty of hot, angry sex!*WON* 'Mischief Managed' (Best Recently-Completed Story) 2017 Granger Enchanted Survivors Awards. Also nominated for Best Smut & Witty Witch categories!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,719
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 541
- Kudos:
- 2,145
- Bookmarks:
- 518
- Hits:
- 66,092
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
06 Apr 2026
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Year of the Lioness by HeavenlyDew
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter - Fandom
22 May 2026
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Summary
***
The war is over.
For Draco Malfoy that means a fresh start at Durmstrang: an unplottable fortress high up in the mountains, isolated from the world and a thousand miles from all he hated at Hogwarts. A place where the Dark Mark remains a badge of honor. Where Unforgivables are practiced openly. Where Mudbloods have never been admitted.
At least until Hermione goes and ruins everything.
***
Or: A Durmstrang spin on an eighth year story feat. toxic Draco, dark Hermione, and the entire gang of snakes.
Series
- Part 3 of Dissonant Lifetimes
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,075
- Chapters:
- 44/55
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 5,913
- Kudos:
- 3,961
- Bookmarks:
- 2,718
- Hits:
- 336,830
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
27 Mar 2026
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Public Bookmark 821
Mystery Work
Part of RewritingTheseWorks
Summary
This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
16 Mar 2026
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Summary
It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 250,248
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 2,903
- Kudos:
- 7,203
- Bookmarks:
- 4,269
- Hits:
- 509,552
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
10 Jan 2026
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Summary
He sighed, stirring more sugar into his tea. “Exactly how bad is this going to be, Pansy?”
There was a very long pause. “Look. Draco and I are engaged.”
“Er,” Harry said, slowly. “Congratulations? Except, um, you do know -”
Pansy glanced up, looking almost amused. “That he’s stupidly in love with Hermione?”
“I was more going to say that she was stupidly in love with him.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,023
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 446
- Kudos:
- 3,747
- Bookmarks:
- 1,419
- Hits:
- 95,023
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
18 Nov 2025
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Summary
Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, and Pansy Parkinson are forcibly paired under a reenacted marriage law, designed to combat the wizarding world’s plummeting population. Matches must consummate their unions within a year or face reassignment.
Furious at the injustice, Hermione agrees to marry Draco Malfoy, as a calculated act of rebellion, determined to expose the law’s cruelty from within. Draco, under his mother’s pressure, sees the marriage as a means to an end, a way to restore the Malfoy name and manipulate public favour by aligning with the war’s golden girl.
Ron and Pansy, unexpectedly matched and left behind, are forced into uneasy coexistence, watching the people they care for most choose strategy over sentiment.
Intentions don’t stay hidden forever. With every bitter word, every stone thrown, and every unspoken truth, each couple finds themselves inching closer to the edge, until love, loyalty, and defiance bleed into something more dangerous.This is not how you fall in love. This is how you destroy me.
Series
- Part 2 of This is How You Destroy Me
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,069
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 2,182
- Kudos:
- 2,352
- Bookmarks:
- 987
- Hits:
- 103,901
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
14 Nov 2025
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The Secret Life of Hermione Granger by swift_knight
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
21 May 2026
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Summary
“I’m leaving,” Hermione responded, turning on her heels and walking back the way her son had come from as she clutched him close to her chest.
The boy watched them over his mother’s shoulder, and Harry’s stomach dropped.
He had seen this blonde-haired, grey-eyed child before. One week earlier, in a picture sitting on Draco Malfoy’s desk. The same Draco Malfoy who had spent the time since the war ended living in France. And Malfoy never named his wife.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Hermione Granger married Draco fucking Malfoy and had a kid with him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,799
- Chapters:
- 16/34
- Comments:
- 2,206
- Kudos:
- 5,580
- Bookmarks:
- 2,298
- Hits:
- 223,774
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
24 Jul 2025
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- Words:
- 352,739
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 341
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
18 Jul 2025
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Summary
After four years of fighting, The Order—now made up of survivors and defectors—receives an opportunity that could end the war for good. However, not everything is as it seems. Once trapped in the consequences of their decision, Hermione, Draco, and the others are faced with their most important mission yet: survive.
A Dramione War AU
Series
- Part 1 of Faith in a Lie Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 201,473
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,072
- Kudos:
- 749
- Bookmarks:
- 773
- Hits:
- 64,107
Bookmarked by DeliciouslyImpetuous
27 Jun 2025