Work Text:
Soon after the successful defense of Gy-Yune, Fireteam Beta makes a planetfall on Kikleen to uncover a Terminid offensive in order to put a halt to an even bigger invasion. But as the Helldivers mark their locations for a mini-base, they find that the planet’s dense foliage makes efforts extremely difficult; even more so, reaching communication with the Super Destroyer was also phasing in and out of the Helldivers' reach, making their plans on Kikleen a summer paradise.
Gerald Reese Patton: You know, as much as I like the idea of an undercover vacation, I certainly don’t like the idea of being in our swimwear again out in god knows what.
Otani Rother Zumangil: Hey! Relax, Sarge! We’re just giving ourselves maybe an hour or less to cool off; it's the least we can do after fighting a Hive Lord!
Molly Thatch Corbin: Speak for yourself, Geico! We got our butts kicked pretty bad, and it’s hotter than a cookout in this jungle—and I personally don’t prefer using my swimsuit in jungles like these!
Otani Rother Zumangil: What, you’re telling me that the desert was much more preferable?
Molly Thatch Corbin: As a matter of fact, I am! The humidity wasn’t as terrible as it is here, and there was some downwind, too.
John Renegade Smith: She’s got a point, ah! This place isn’t ideal for humans to just sit around and relax, maybe for your kind, Otani, but that’s a pretty big shoe to fill considering how you guys are extremophiles.
(The human crew was right to feel the way they did, though Gerald was the only exception, seeing how he was raised on a planet that was a global active volcano field—so sitting back in the jungle didn’t seem all that bad for him. Like Otani resting his muscular form on a big rock with his speedo on, the heat of the jungle meant nothing to him.)
Otani Rother Zumangil: Ok, so this isn’t the most ideal spot to relax in. I’ll see where we can go that can satisfy everyone—lest we just be uneven in our spoils of leisure.
(Otani took the squad with him to a lower valley that had a waterfall with a pool; the area wasn’t filled with the heavy air they had at higher altitudes, making this ideal for all of them.)
Otani Rother Zumangil: Here we go! One big beautiful waterpark to our—
(Molly and Gerald were tired, so they took the remaining energy to rest till they were ready to get back up to resume any activities in mind. Johnny, however, still had some energy left in him to take another dip in extraterrestrial waters.)
———
John Renegade Smith: They’ve been tired since we got here; best we let them be for the moment.
Otani Rother Zumangil: I suppose so—wanna take a dive bomb in the pool?
John Renegade Smith: Hell yeah I would, let’s go!
(Otani flew out of the pool and picked up John to reach a cliff; the diving location was perfect, and the height was high enough to make the journey down all the more exhilarating.)
Otani Rother Zumangil: Ok, wanna go down first?
John Renegade Smith: Absolutely, I know you’re gonna make more impact, so I’ll go for a humble jump…Helldivers style, of course.
Otani Rother Zumangil: Heh, knock it out of the water, kid!
John Renegade Smith: Ok, here goes, well, everything! For Super Earth!
(Johnny ran and jumped high from the cliff ledge, closing his arms in and straightening his legs to break the surface of the water. With over a thousand meters to drop, Johnny dived straight through the water and made it halfway under before rising to the surface, gasping for air.)
John Renegade Smith: Alright, you fat lizard, show me what you got!
Otani Rother Zumangil: Fat? Ha! You haven’t seen enough of my species to even know; Wings of Ri!
(Otani did the same routine as John did, only he jumped forward in a planking position while spreading his arms to the side like a bird falling from the sky—and fall he did! The big Vinesian moved his arms behind him and aimed head first into the water; Johnny, who now regretted his decision of going first, tried frantically to get out of the water before Otani broke through, but it was too late: Otani rapidly broke through the pool, creating a bubble of water before it exploded into a spectacular mushroom cloud that caused a tidal wave that scooped up John and was heading straight towards the other Helldivers.)
Molly Thatch Corbin: Huh, was it always this cloudy?
(Before she and Gerald realized it, they were swept away by the wave and washed up closer to land next to the mountainside, catching all of them off guard with Otani’s psychic dive bomb.)
Otani Rother Zumangil: WOOOO! That’s what I’m talking about, baby! Yeah!
Molly Thatch Corbin: You mother trucking, liver sucking, vanilla extract! *click* *click* Damn it Otani! Clean my shotgun this instant so I can unload on you discriminately!
Otani Rother Zumangil: You know, that’s alright, Moll. I’ll just stay over here…
(Otani descended into the water and decided to swim free like a water monitor, living without a care in the world.)
Molly Thatch Corbin: Why that son of a rooster! John! Go show Otani what’s for in the name of Joshua!
John Renegade Smith: I’m not gonna pound him, if that’s what you want.
Molly Thatch Corbin: I could care less if you flip the rock he sleeps on to the warmer side! I want him to feel as washed up as I am right now.
John Renegade Smith: Well, that’d be a little hard to do, considering his…already swimming, but I’ll make sure to show em what’s good!
Molly Thatch Corbin: That’s the spirit! Go give a taste of justice!
John Renegade Smith: Jeez, talk about over the top…
(While Molly and Gerald were drying themselves off, Johnny made his way through the pool to reach Otani to make him “pay” for the over-performance.)
John Renegade Smith: Hey, Otani? Molly wants me to beat you up, so if you could come out and just, I don’t know, let me do a few light jabs just to show I’m doing work, would that be ok?
(Otani was nowhere to be found until he slowly emerged from the depths and sneaked up to John without a sound—when Johnny least expected it, he got hugged from behind by the big alien as he shouted “Dolphin Flip!” Otani flew up high in the air before dropping back down in the water—after the dive, the two divers would emerge onto the surface.)
John Renegade Smith: Oh my god!
Otani Rother Zumangil: Wasn’t that fun, Johnny boy?
John Renegade Smith: Yeah, as fun as your last attempt!
(The two men playfully wrestled in the water as they tried to get a hold of the other, while they got a kick out of it, Molly was still dissatisfied.)
Molly Thatch Corbin: Hey, you duds! I ain’t seeing that lizard getting what for!
John Renegade Smith: In a moment, Molly! Just play along with me, Otani.
Otani Rother Zumangil: Fair enough!
John Renegade Smith: You’ve been a bad lizard, time to get punished.
Otani Rother Zumangil: Oh no, not the punchies! Oo! Ah! Ouch! Oh no, please have mercy! Hehehe, that tickles!
Molly Thatch Corbin: Give him a knuckle sandwich, noogie his head, give him an atomic wedgie!
Otani Rother Zumangil: Oh, I can’t take it, he’s too strong. OW! Johnny!
John Renegade Smith: Sorry, I just had to bite a little.
Otani Rother Zumangil: You call that little? Look at the marks on my shoulder!
John Renegade Smith: Eh, you’ll survive…
Molly Thatch Corbin: Yeah, you bite his ass, John, show em’ who’s boss!
Otani Rother Zumangil: Hmm, that does give me an idea! Why don’t we play a little game called Xyloshek and Pomeyi…that’s Shark and Seal on your planet.
John Renegade Smith: Oh! I think I know what you mean.
Otani Rother Zumangil: Hahaha, now you’re talking! Better get swimming; I’ll give you a head start!
John Renegade Smith: Catch me if you can!
Otani Rother Zumangil: Do you have any idea who you’re talking to?
———
(The two men gave chase. As John was being pursued by Otani, they swam deep into the vast pool, unaware that a large aquatic creature lurked below, watching the two as it ominously circled the sandy depths of the pool. Otani, however, was quick to spot the neural signals on the beast and stopped momentarily: at first, he tried to swim faster to get to him, but that only prompted John to swim faster, unaware of the danger below. He was too far out now, leaving Otani with one last option.)
Otani Rother Zumangil: Johnny, stop! Something’s in here with us!
John Renegade Smith: What? Where?
(After warning him telepathically, Otani used his hands to make a thunderclap at the pool floor, revealing a huge aquatic reptile—a predator at that. With the creature now exposed, Johnny’s eyes widened, and he swam back to the surface as quick as possible.)
Otani Rother Zumangil: NO! Johnny!
(But he didn’t listen, and the predator locked onto the retreating prey immediately, rapidly swimming towards the defenseless diver. Otani locked into action and thrusted powerfully towards Johnny, grabbing him to hurl him out of the way, making him the target for the predator instead as the beast closed its jaws around him as it reached the surface.)
Gerald Reese Patton: Have you seen Otani and John at all?
Molly Thatch Corbin: Negative, last time I checked Johnny was giving Otani what he deserved, but knowing them, they’re probably underwater getting—
Otani Rother Zumangil: Fuuuuuuuuuck!
(The aquatic predator jumped out of the water with Otani in its jaws before splashing back down into the waters.)
Molly Thatch Corbin: Uh…Did I see that right?
(Otani was being thrashed around underwater; fortunately, his shield helped defend him from the large teeth puncturing his body, but it still hurt nonetheless. Otani’s eyes glowed with sparking blue, and he cast an explosive ball of energy onto the beast’s face, forcing it to let go of Otani and lose a few teeth in the process. As the Vinesian broke free, he turned his attention towards Johnny, who was swimming to shore. He throttled through the water to meet up with the other Helldivers as they got to their feet to regroup and quickly grab their weapons—with nothing but the swimwear on them, they were ready for the worst. The aquatic predator swam forward, but upon getting closer to shore, it stopped right in its tracks to glare at the Helldivers—outside the creature’s reach.)
Molly Thatch Corbin: What’s the matter, Moby Dick? Haven’t found your land legs yet?
(The creature growled before it took up the challenge and slowly waddled its way with its fins. While it had trouble at first, the divers slowly moved back, hoping that it’d stop soon. But unbelievably, the creature began to sprout big, powerful legs from underneath its fins—revealing an orifice that unsheathed the legs when not in use. The now four-legged aquatic reptile was a hybrid land croc that towered over the Helldivers at ten meters tall; as it stood menacingly at the heroes, it let out a roar that blew mighty winds at the Helldivers and foliage behind them.)
———
John Renegade Smith: You just had to taunt it, didn’t you?
Molly Thatch Corbin: Like I was gonna know it would speedrun evolution!
(The aquatic predator charged at the Helldivers, but they evaded and grabbed whatever equipment could put a dent in the large beast. Molly grabbed Jonathan and loaded a missile inside; she targeted the beast’s front leg, which caused minor damage. Gerald grabbed his Quasar, and John got a hold of his Liberator. Otani, on the other hand, was more focused on trying to find a weak point with his mind, but it didn’t seem like there were any significant locations to hit. When the Helldivers slowly advanced, the creature rose on its hind legs and tried to crush Molly and John, but they moved out of the way before it shattered the earth. Otani got a glimpse of the underbelly of the beast, and he noticed the hide wasn’t as strong as the outer armour—with the weak point identified, the time to strike was now!)
Otani Rother Zumangil: Gerald! The creature’s weak spot is its belly; try to get it to raise itself again!
Gerald Reese Patton: Affirmative! John, stick with me; we gotta get this beast’s attention. Molly! When that thing stands on its hind legs, I want you to blast its stomach.
Molly Thatch Corbin: On it!
(Gerald and John laid heavy suppression on the aquatic predator, making sure it turned its focus to them. Once that worked, the beast roared and tried to get a bite or a swipe on the evading Helldivers; John brought out two stratagem balls and punched in the codes to call in his sentries. While they came jetting from the sky, Otani gave aid with powerful bolts of lightning to stun the beast in case it ever got too close to John and Gerald. Once the sentries arrived, the two guns came out blazing with autocannon and laser munitions, causing the creature to raise itself slowly—but the belly wasn’t exposed yet. Enraged, the aquatic reptile charged at the men, who dodged in time but lost an autocannon sentry in the process—the beast snarled before it went on two legs again, raising itself high enough for the time to strike.)
Gerald Reese Patton: Now!
(Molly fired a missile straight to the belly of the beast, cratering the soft hide on sight; the reptile bellowed in pain before falling back against the mountain, crashing violently. With the beast no more, the Helldivers slowly inspected the carnage from a distance.)
———
Molly Thatch Corbin: So much for a tropical paradise vacation.
Gerald Reese Patton: Comfort was gonna come to an end sooner or later. John, collect some samples from this thing.
John Renegade Smith: On it!
(John carefully scaled the giant reptile with nothing but his trunks as he gazed at the large gash where Molly laid a load on it, making John groan in disgust. With some careful sample extractions, he slid back down to the squad on the beast’s tail.)
Gerald Reese Patton: Let’s see what we can find out of this…
(A few minutes later, Fireteam Beta got on their standard attire and waited for a report from John with his mini-lab kit. After searching through the flesh of the predator, he found a familiar color of meat that resided in the intestines of the reptile.)
John Renegade Smith: Unbelievable, this creature had Terminid flesh within its stomach…and quite a lot of it too.
Otani Rother Zumangil: Wait, you’re saying this thing ate bugs on the menu?
John Renegade Smith: That’s what I’m finding, and they’re quite recent, which means we might be around some nests in this jungle.
Molly Thatch Corbin: Ok, if there are nests around here, where could they be? You didn’t spot any with your psych-radar, did you?
Otani Rother Zumangil: Nope! Nothing but plants and animals of no concerning extraterrestrial origin.
Gerald Reese Patton: So where could they be?
Otani Rother Zumangil: I think I might have a clue…
(Otani flew high up in the air to scan for any significant change in the geography of the area but found nothing of interest—that was until he looked a little closer over the waterfall and noticed a peculiar shaping of the drop—almost as if it was artificially carved. He flew through the waterfall and noticed a curving tunnel. With his psychic shield passively ready, he dived into the water and traveled through the tunnel, going through turns to come across an opening with lights. Curiouser, he flew up to the opening and found something marvelous.)
Otani Rother Zumangil: Everyone! I found something underwater; meet me on shore!
Molly Thatch Corbin: Watcha find, slimy?
Otani Rother Zumangil: Oh, I’ll show you! Huddle around me!
(Otani lifted the others with him, and they all submerged into the water to travel through the tunnel system. As they approached the entrance, Otani lifted them without a drop of water on their suits and placed them on a smooth stone floor. Inside, they found a huge underground city covered in ancient etchings, where strange humanoid statues were in various positions amongst a city lit by glowing flowers in a district long lost to time.)
Molly Thatch Corbin: Sweet Liberty!
John Renegade Smith: This place is amazing…
Gerald Reese Patton: Yeah, and it smells like my grandma’s garden.
(Otani walked around and found small fragments of shells, Terminid shells no less. The bugs were most certainly here, and they wouldn’t be gone for long.)
Otani Rother Zumangil: Keep your eyes and ears open, folks; we’re not alone down here, so let's keep ourselves together.
Gerald Reese Patton: Notice any signals down here?
Otani Rother Zumangil: Not exactly, but I am getting a strong presence; I can feel it…Ooo! A beetle! *munch munch munch*. Ah! Alright, let’s go this way…
———
(Otani led the team down a large hall, where it grew more and more narrow each gate they passed. The Helldivers carefully walked through, weapons ready and senses high. They kept walking down the corridor until they came across a chamber with two paths and a closed door that shined with a golden tint—leaving the Helldivers three paths to take.)
Gerald Reese Patton: Alright, where to now?
Otani Rother Zumangil: Hmmm, let’s see: the door in front of us has a large stash of ancient weapons and urns and a couple of statues, nothing too out of the norm, but these hallways seem to lead down into a larger room with separate doors on the side.
Molly Thatch Corbin: I say we bust down each door and loot what we can! Think of it. We can cash big time with Super Credits here!
John Renegade Smith: That’s weird; this floor tile looks much different from the rest.
Otani Rother Zumangil: Oh, you…don’t…say.
John Renegade Smith: Wait, why did you…shit.
(The floor tile broke in two, causing the Helldivers to fall onto a slide where they would be zipped down a long tube before coming out the other end; the slide retreated into the wall and closed shut.)
John Renegade Smith: Ah, my spleen.
Molly Thatch Corbin: Bet you won’t see that at your local theme park.
Otani Rother Zumangil: Do you guys hear that?
Gerald Reese Patton: Hear what?
(Otani snapped his fingers and sparked a ball of bright light floating a few centimeters from his hand. What they found inside the chamber was a horde of Jungle Stalkers, one of the last things the Helldivers wanted to come in contact with. The bugs hissed and growled at the sight of the Helldivers, salivating for the imminent chance of a quick feast. Otani, in a desperate attempt to conceal the team, blew out the ball of energy like a candle.)
Otani Rother Zumangil: Lock and load *Click*
*****
Flying high are we from many worlds,
Here to set free humanity from the worst.
We come from the stars wide and far,
Destroying the enemies of democracy.
Though we differ in shape and size,
Our blood still bleeds white, yellow, and blue.
When the time calls, we will rise and protect Super Earth from its demise.
Super Earth, we are here for you. Super Earth, we hope you're there for us, too! — Super Earth Xeno Choir
HELLDIVERS
-
STAR PATRIOTS
By Dave Spaceman
