1 - 20 of 1,791 Works in Absurd
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Sophiya Honour, the most competent Shade of HONOUR, has been given the final order. That is to evaporate HONOUR itself—a century-old global syndicate. With her gold-engraved gun, corporate bureaucracy, and polite manners, she will roam the world, killing the final 100 chiefs of HONOUR. The 100-year contract is up, and Finality has arrived.
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Tactical Deception for Beginners by MoonlitAnomaly
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Jul 2026
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Two days of unpaid overtime, high-society expectations, and an ambushed family dinner at Malfoy Manor—Draco thought surviving the Ministry was hard. But when his family demands answers about his suspiciously vacant personal life, a top-secret affair kept under lock and key for two years threatens to blow the roof off the manor. Between encrypted messages, fake tracking charms, and a thoroughly humiliated spymaster, the truth behind the Ministry’s fiercest rivalries is finally coming to light—whether the Malfoys are ready for it or not.
Series
- Part 5 of DRAMIONE ONE-SHOT ANTHOLOGY
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Helldivers Star Patriots - Episode 7: Temple of Gloom by DaveFrogDude
Fandoms: Helldivers (Video Games)
24 Jul 2026
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As a way to sneak past active duty, Fireteam Beta tries to relax on the jungle planet of Kikleen, though hot at first, they seem to enjoy their tropical paradise—until it comes crashing down with the emergence of dangerous fauna, new and old.
Series
- Part 7 of Helldivers Star Patriots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,303
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 2
- Hits:
- 7
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Summary
You have lived in poverty since you were born.
You found out a secret about your ancestor.
You try to enjoy a quiet normal life but the savage blood line also runs in your frame.
Perhaps trying to live a peaceful and useful life is very tough for you. -
Investigating Physiologic Changes Induced By Protein AG0825 In Human Models: A Prospective Cohort Study by thfrstfrt
Fandoms: NCT (Band)
24 Jul 2026
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Background: A cohort of university science students (N=13) experienced acute-onset superhuman abilities following ingestion of unidentified food provided by a faculty member (n=12 exposed; n=1 unexposed(?) control).
Methods: Participants attempted to continue normal academic functioning despite emerging powers, unclear allegiances, and escalating interpersonal tension. Observational data were limited by rampant denial and inconsistent self-reporting.
Results: Statistically significant increases were observed in reality distortion (p<0.001), emotional pining (p<0.01), and poor decision-making (p<0.0001). The control subject displayed unexpected anomalies inconsistent with baseline human parameters.
Conclusion: AG0825 appears to grant adaptive advantages under acute stress, though side effects remain unknown. Further study is required to determine whether the primary threat is biochemical, institutional, or emotional.
or,
Thirteen science students eat free food and immediately develop superpowers. Now they’re juggling finals and a professor who may or may not be playing God.
(AG0825 for short)
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You, the leading researcher and scientist at Playtime Co., known as the "Genius" behind the Bigger Bodies Initiative and the go-to expert for any experiment or scientific challenge.
You’re the only one capable of communicating with Experiment 1006 and outsmarting it. But the truth is, money and career mean nothing without family. Something happens, and you’re ready to take time off for a funeral, to grieve. But Ludwig won’t let you. The company is on the brink of a breakthrough that could change everything.
Most stories tell the tale of the player as just another employee, but what if you knew all the experiments because you were the one that turned them into what they are?
This is the moment you make a choice.
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Fuck, Die, and Cry by newwwwusername
Fandoms: Stardew Valley (Video Game), The SpongeBob Musical - Various/Anthony & Coulton/Jarrow
23 Jul 2026
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Old Man Jenkins dies while getting fucked in the ass.
Series
- Part 2 of Schlocktober 2026
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Negative Space by Auvronestra
Fandoms: King Lear - Shakespeare, Titus Andronicus - Shakespeare, Othello - Shakespeare, Midsummer Night's Dream - Shakespeare, Die Zauberflöte | The Magic Flute - Mozart/Schikaneder
23 Jul 2026
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Cordelia has spent years trying to escape the life everyone else chose for her.
When a rivalry with the infuriatingly disciplined Lavinia turns into something far more complicated, Cordelia is forced to confront what she actually wants, what she’s been running from, and why leaving one life behind does not mean leaving behind the people in it.
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On a sunny afternoon, by the beach, a lifeguard and a hitman meets. What begins as a tense encounter gradually turns into a deeply charged, intimate, and steamy fascination.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,889
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 5
- Hits:
- 139
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Hole Reversal by newwwwusername
Fandoms: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), The Owl House (Cartoon)
23 Jul 2026
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Summary
Hordak is used as a fleshlight.
Series
- Part 1 of Schlocktober 2026
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The Sexonautica by PaperArmyNinja
Fandoms: Jason and the Argonauts (TV 2000), Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Medea - Euripides, Original Work
23 Jul 2026
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Jason, exiled prince of Iolcus, journeys to find the Golden Fleece, to reclaim his throne from his uncle Pelias, the usurper. And along the way, the hero, blessed champion of Hera, will slaughter any rival man, and rape and enslave any woman he desires.
Loosely inspired by the 2000 miniseries Jason and the Argonauts (as source material).
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If you found this, you most likely found it from ao3 rather than the game...
Basically how player and Gerard meet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 728
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 1
- Hits:
- 10
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Summary
Очень короткий юмористический рассказ, где выявляется новая эпидемия.
- Language:
- Русский
- Words:
- 118
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 4
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Summary
The recital happens. (Great!)
Mari and Sunny argument still happens and they grow apart. Also, the gang grow apart from Sunny as a result. (Not so great…)
Sunny never shut himself inside(Great!)
He has no friends, so he has to dream about them(not so great.)
Something drastic would have to happen if our protagonists are to be friends again…
Dream Name (real life counterpart)
Omori(Sunny)
Aubs(Aubrey)
Kelvin(Kel)
Marianne(Mari)
Henry(Hero)
Rowan(Basil) -
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Dear Hot Bread God,
Please put me out of my misery and shove your yeasty fist up my pussy.
Signed,
Your dough, waiting to be pounded.
Um. Too desperate?
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Rey is thirty, terminally single, and has been on enough bad Hinge dates to last several lifetimes. One evening, the Instagram algorithm delivers her something unexpected: a pair of extraordinary hands making bread, and a voice that tells her she's being oh so good.
She doesn't follow him. She's not going to be caught being horny on main.
She does, eventually, subscribe to his OnlyFans.
What follows is a completely rational series of decisions that leads her, one Saturday morning, across an international border, to eat pizza with a stranger from the internet.
Just lunch. Just to suss things out.
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Through Adversity to Carrots by vanishresponse
Fandoms: 时空中的绘旅人 | For All Time | Lovebrush Chronicles (Video Game)
22 Jul 2026
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As a matter of fact, you can make your manga about aliens turning people into carrots. If you're desperate enough, anyway.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 877
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 12
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Summary
The first AIDS crisis in Santa Clara Country has broken out since the '90s. Watch three young teenagers struggle to survive, find love, and overcome these trying times: Johansson Gru, a student reporter. Mackenzie Liu, still reeling from her latest relationships, and dying of AIDS. Medina Mudpie, a genius, trying to cure the city.
Based on a true story.
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
Series
- Part 1 of Sheer Artistry: The Andrewverse
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Summary
Garść hetaliowych drabbli, okruszków, miniatur i niepoprawnych pomysłów, just for your entertainment. Komedia, oklepane motywy, absurd bez większego sensu, pisane z doskoku one-shoty. Zbiorek wszystkiego, co jest zbyt małe na własną opowieść i miejsce na ewentualne eksperymenty z formą. Branie czegokolwiek tutaj na poważnie - niezalecane.
Shipy przeróżne, głównie LietPol i PrusPol, ale są też bezparingowce. -
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Маленькие шутливые пьески по мотивам второго и третьего сезонов.
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The day after, Charlotte and Felix do some chores together.