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Cosme Stella Lu Moineau-Duhaime carefully placed small hands on the chair their abba had carved and now sat on, watching his small charge pull themself up. When they had both feet underneath them solidly enough, they looked up to see his proud smile and laughed in gurgling delight. Then Stella (it felt like a Stella day to Siffrin) looked around the room with all the eagerness of a baby that had just learned to walk. They spotted their papa on the couch and made a noise before sidling along the chair to get closer to this new goal before slowly taking one hand and then the other off the edge of the chair so they could toddle toward the couch. The first steps were slow and hesitant, but when Isabeau cheered "You're doing it!! You're doing it!! Look at you working those legs!" they seemed infected by his energy, their feet lifting higher into bigger steps that brought them closer to Isabeau faster and faster until they tumbled. Isabeau was on his knees in an instant to scoop them up before they could hit the floor, flipping them over to coo at their developing athleticism. Stella blinked twice at him, little eyes still round from seeing the ground rush up and then vanish, but as the baby realized nothing bad had happened, they were safe in their papa's warm arms, a new smile broke out on their face.
Siffrin sat back from the edge of the chair--the only reason they hadn't beaten Isa's leap into action was because he was closer, they reassured themself--and took a deep breath to calm down. Everything was fine. "They're quite the explorer, huh."
"Yeah, they're really getting active now. So big, Cosme! You're so strong!" Isabeau got up to his feet to bounce the child in his arms, grinning at the noises they made and the way they waved their arms in excitement.
Huh. "It's a 'Cosme' day to you?"
Isabeau shrugged. "It's definitely not a Lu one."
Heh. "Definitely not." Days when they had no idea what their baby was paying attention to or trying to get at, days full of mysterious looks and sounds and gestures and sometimes, unfortunately, smells: those were Lu days.
It would be pretty funny if Stella preferred the name they'd been given from Loop when they were bigger. Then again, Siffrin figured, at that point they'd be old enough and become enough of their own person to give 'Lu' its own meaning.
Ahhh... that made his heart feel heavy, imagining Stella getting older. It wouldn't be so bad when they were old enough for the petite section offered by most of Jouvente's districts. Watching a child all day was tiring at times, and the thought of Stella rushing home excited about having made new friends was cute. But then there would be ecole primaire and collège and lycée, they'd get bigger and bigger and drift away until they were off to the other side of the world--
Okay, that wasn't fair. Bonnie's apprenticeship was in Mwudu; another country, sure, but not 'other side of the world'. They sent letters all the time. Stella didn't have to drift away, but they would become their own person. Siffrin would just have to keep up.
"You're walking, you're talking... well, trying," Isabeau said, still talking to Stella. "What do you think, Cosme? Ready for baby's first Change?"
What. Siffrin's watchful eye snapped from the baby to Isabeau. What did he mean 'baby's first Change'.
It only took a second or two for Isabeau to catch the glare, and he juggled the baby to make as much of a 'hold on' gesture as he could. "Not!!! Cosme Changing! Cosme's already doing Changes all the time right now!"
They were, growing every day. But also... "We agreed they don't have to follow Change if they don't want to." And Cosme Stella Lu was not old enough to decide if they didn't want to yet.
"I know, I know. 'Baby's first Change' is--it's just something my family does. It's something that happens anyway eventually, some people just like to think of it as a special event. Like, this is when the baby first really gets that a Change has happened. It's introducing them to the concept! Cosme doesn't have to do any Change for it."
Something that would happen anyway...
Siffrin knew they were making a puzzled look by the faint fond smile Isa made before continuing. "So, I haven't really made any Changes since we found Cosme. And that's a little odd for me, right?"
Siffrin nodded. "I thought it was because we've been busy..."
"Haaah, yeah, it's definitely been easier to not right now. But it's also just... because Change can be destruction, and kids Change so much just on their own, that's why the books recommend the parents lay off adding more Changes of their own for a bit, you know? First year is the rule of thumb."
Siffrin remembered some of the books emphasizing 'stability'. He'd completely agreed with a young baby needing that, he just hadn't realized they'd been talking about not doing active Changes. "So...you're going to Change?" Isabeau nodded. And that made sense, it was something that'd happen eventually--especially in Vaugarde, but really anywhere--someone close to the child changing significantly. It made sense, but Siffrin still worried. "They're still really young. What if they don't recognize you?"
"I don't think that'll be a problem," Isabeau said. "That wasn't an issue with any of my younger siblings. Like, Cosme might not like the Change at first--that's been a thing, it's actually really funny sometimes. But they'll get that it's me. I'm only making one Change, a pretty small one overall, but one they'll notice for sure." He rubbed his thumb over some of the short hairs of his closely trimmed beard. Stella followed the gesture, reaching up with one hand to pat his chin. "I've been thinking of shaving this all off!"
"I thought you liked your beard."
"I did! I liked having it! But I've been kind of itching to make a Change and this is an easy one." Isabeau playfully pouted. "Not very creative of me, I know."
"Isa. I'm your partner." Siffrin had only made a handful of Changes in terms of appearance over the years: a few dresses added to the closet, embroidery for the eyepatch, a shortening of the cloak into a capelet so they could use some of the material to make Stella their own cloak, Isabeau reinforcing the temperature-regulating and size-adjusting Crafts as he worked. Tattooed names of Siffrin's family on his arm, and a small map of Vaugarde on his calf with stars pointing out Vaugarde, Dormont, and Bambouche. His back had a Ka Buan phrase Odile had suggested; he knew enough Ka Buan to understand it included one of Odile's names and a variety of Expressions invoked in archaic language, but out of the thousands Ka Bue worshipped it seemed like an odd array, some of them outright obscure, and that plus Odile's sly grin as she said "for safe passage. Don't flaunt it, you'll know when you need to show it," made Siffrin suspicious it was some kind of underground code phrase, which was weird. And intriguing enough that he'd pushed aside his doubts to get it anyway. He trusted Odile.
Oh, and they'd grown their hair out darkless. But they didn't really think that counted as a Change when it was just what their hair would look like anyway. The point was, they just weren't that interested in Change for the sake of Change, and Isa knew it.
"--I know, I know! I love you the way you are! You're amazing! And Cosme is so wonderful too," Isabeau cooed to the baby in a quick aside. "The best baby. Yes you are." He rubbed one bearded cheek against their own cheek, getting another giggle, before looking more contemplative. "I guess it's just, as a clothes designer, so many people come for new designs because they're looking to Change. So even though I've gotten better at liking myself... well, kind of..."
"I think you have," Siffrin said. It was something that might forever be a work in progress, just like recovery felt to Siffrin. It didn't mean Isabeau hadn't made good progress though.
"Thanks. But yeah, people come in all excited to Change, and I'm happy to help them Change! It just, occasionally makes me think, 'Why haven't you Changed more!'" Isabeau shrugged. "And I know why I'm not right now, and I don't think you have to, I don't really even think I have to. At least, I don't have a firm idea of some huge, serious Change I need to make right now. It's just a thought that comes up sometimes. And Change can be fun. So I might start doing some little Changes soon. Shaving my beard, and the semi-annual wardrobe exchange is soon..."
Siffrin nodded. "I might come with you to the exchange. Um. If that's not a problem. Did you want me to watch Stella at home?"
Isabeau lit up. "No no, come with me, we'll take Stella there! They're going to need new clothes soon anyway and we can donate their outgrown outfits. New clothes for all of us!"
A new skirt or top really might be nice, and there was a dress pushed to the back of the closet Siffrin knew they hadn't really liked from the start. They smiled. "And...um... I don't mind the 'Baby's first Change' thing. Now that I get it. I didn't the first time you said it."
"Yeah, I figured when I saw the look on your face," Isa said with a chuckle. "But alright. Get ready, Cosme! Papa's going to look a little different tomorrow!"
And so, the next day, Siffrin held onto Cosme (it felt like a Cosme day to him) and waited for Isabeau to come out of the bathroom, where he'd first showered and was now shaving off all his beard. When the bathroom door opened and closed, Siffrin lowered Cosme to the ground, giving them plenty of time to plant their feet and grasp onto the couch for stability.
"Ohhhh, Stella?" Isabeau called playfully from the hall out of sight. "Where aaarrrreee you?"
Cosme instantly perked up at hearing one of their names in their Papa's voice, first turning their head toward the hallway before working on turning their whole body.
"Papa's gonna get you and tickle you..."
Even though they probably didn't understand the words yet, Cosme knew that tone well enough to laugh in anticipation, eagerly toddling toward the hallway to find their Papa and get tickled and cuddled.
Then Isabeau popped his head into sight.
He'd done a clean job shaving off his beard. Siffrin didn't see any stray hairs or nicks. To them, he looked as handsome as ever.
Cosme stopped dead in their toddling tracks, staring at him.
"Stella? Lu?" Isabeau tried coaxing them, coming into the living room more so they could see all of him. "It's Papa!"
Cosme stared at him for a few more seconds, then turned around and toddled back in a hurry to Siffrin, who laughed in startled surprise before scooping them up into a hug. The baby looked at Isabeau one more time before burying their face into Siffrin's dress.
"oh no," Isabeau pouted. "None of my siblings reacted this bad. I think I hurt my fee fees."
Siffrin couldn't stop his laughter. Isabeau was right, it was funny when the baby didn't like the Change at first. Good thing he knew Isabeau wasn't seriously hurt about it, but he still tried to rein it in and coax Cosme: "It's okay Cosme, Abba's got you. It really is Papa. See?" Still holding Cosme, he stood up from the couch and crossed the distance to Isabeau, shifting Cosme to sit against his waist so he could hold them with one arm and use his free hand to stroke Isabeau's smooth chin. "Did Papa get rid of the beard you like? It's okay though, Papa's still Papa."
"Papa can grow it back?" Isabeau offered.
"They'll get used to you not having one," Siffrin reminded him.
Cosme had looked Isabeau's way when he spoke again, then turned away once more upon seeing the beardless face. As the two parents kept talking, though, they looked at where Siffrin's hand rested on Isabeau's chin and hesitantly reached out to touch Isabeau's chin themself before patting it. Pat. Pat Pat.
Siffrin smiled, happy Cosme wasn't too fussed at the Change, before looking at their face. The snort burst out of him before he could help it. Narrow-eyed, their baby was giving Isabeau the most judging look of skepticism a baby could muster, like they couldn't believe their Papa would transform his face so drastically without consulting them through a dozen levels of babble.
It was definitely a Lu day now.