Chapter Text
Pik really needed to learn how to say no. There were so many things he’d rather be doing right now. He hated nights out with Jai, not because he loathed his company, but because it was nights like this he felt the lack of it the strongest. He sat in the back like always, ever the observer, never the participant. Jai had dropped his jacket and his credit card on the table and told him to ‘enjoy the rest of his night.’
Oh please. Jai had known him long enough to understand his total lack of enjoyment to be found in a place like this, with the lights too low to see any faces in the crowd and the air thick with the smell of greasy bar food and poor decisions. No, Jai knew he’d only let himself be dragged along because he couldn’t say no to him. It was getting old, there were only so many beers he could finish off, so many excuses he could tell himself before this stopped being about his fickle friend and started being about his fickle friend's habit of using him.
Jai was an alpha, and a strong one at that. He didn’t need to keep Pik around to prop himself up, didn’t need the extra ego boost. To Jai, Pik was his easygoing beta friend, someone who he could always count on to keep him company on a fun night and light his cigarette when his hands got too shaky after one too many beers. Someone to carry his drunk ass home when local omegas didn’t take the bait. Someone he didn’t have to comfort in the morning after spending the night curled up in his bed.
But he was wrong. Pik wasn’t a beta, he was an omega. One who was getting really sick and tired of smelling the faint scent of whatever omega Jai’s been with last in his bed. The fucker hardly bothered to rid himself of the scent before crashing next to Pik, because he didn’t know. How could he? No one did, because he was defective. A scentless omega, bound to the same emotional dysregulation and pheromone dependency as the rest, but to the world he was just a beta. No need for gentle treatment or extra consideration, no need to accommodate his ever changing pheromone cycle or pander to his heightened sensitivity. All of the burden, none of the reward. It was a miserable existence.
He was so done. If he couldn’t rely on his scent to garner a bit of attention then he’d have to do it the old fashioned way. He wanted someone to look at him. Wanted an interested gaze to sweep him up and down and see someone desirable. He was through with never being enough. Tonight, he would be everything for someone that just might hear the whimper of a begging omega he buried beneath his apathetic exterior.
This was the perfect place to do it. He snatched Jai’s card off the table, slid his arms into the too big sleeves of his leather jacket, and made his way to the bar. He signaled the bartender and ordered a drink that was more vodka than cranberry. Leaving the tab open, he slid Jai’s card across the bar and took a long sip from his glass. It burned as it went down, warming his throat and blooming in his chest. He turned to survey the room.
The lighting was better here, providing just enough visibility that he could distinguish all the faces that weren’t looking at him. And the one that was.
Pik locked eyes with a stranger across the bar. He was tall, broad, all dark and scruffy. Everything about him screamed alpha. The dark leather belt around his waist, the button up that was hardly buttoned up tucked into his slacks, the simple silver chain that dangled from his neck. He wasn’t smiling, not really. His lips were quirked up at the corner in a smirk as he raised his glass in Pik’s direction. Pik reciprocated the gesture, lifting an arm in cheers before bringing the glass to his lips and downing the rest of his drink. He let the arm of Jai’s jacket slip off his shoulder as he propped his elbows on the bar behind him. That was all the invitation the alpha needed.
Pik watched him push off the opposite wall and navigate through the sea of dancing bodies until he was close enough that Pik could smell him. His scent was nice, a bit stronger than Pik preferred but not suffocating. It reminded him of high school, of sneaking to the corner shop after school to buy a bag of sweets and distract the clerk while Jai nabbed a box of cigs from behind the counter. He and Jai had split their first cigarette in a park that day, coughing up a lung and trying to rid their breath of the smell with candy before they went home to their mothers.
Sweet and smokey, like the taste of hard crack candy off tobacco coated gums. Pik shook off the memory and tried to bury it beneath the vision in front of him.
“What’s a pretty thing like you doing here all alone?” The stranger’s deep voice drawled.
“That is probably the creepiest thing you could’ve said just now.” Pik tried not to laugh.
He thinks I'm pretty.
“Yeah, I think you’re right. Let me start over. I’m Jet, and you look really nice in those jeans.”
Wow. Something about the way his soft demeanor contradicted his edgy appearance was disarming. Charming.
“Not the save you think it is. I’m Pik.” Pik teased and offered his hand. Jet’s larger one encompassed it in what he thought would be a firm shake, but instead Jet lifted Pik’s hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. His eyes widened in surprise, mouth popping open.
“I hope it isn’t too presumptuous of me to ask, but can I give you a ride home tonight?” Jet asked.
In any other circumstance Pik would roll his eyes and brush the offer off. It was too presumptuous, too forward, but right now that was exactly what Pik needed. Someone with clear and obvious intentions. No pretending he was just being friendly. Jet wanted him, and he was making sure he knew it.
“You’ve been drinking.” Pik looked down pointedly at the empty glass in Jet’s hand.
“Non-alcoholic, swear it. I brought my bike, was supposed to DD for my buddy but the little fucker took off with some alpha earlier.”
“What a coincidence. The guy I came with ditched me too.”
“Guy?” Jet raised a brow.
“Friend. He took some omega home and left me his card. I was planning to stay and rack up a tab, give him something else to regret tonight, but maybe…” Pik trailed off.
“I’ve got an extra helmet.” Jet offered again.
“I don’t live far.” Pik conceded.
“So…”
“Okay.”
“Okay.” Jet smiled and offered his arm. Pik took it, letting the alphas arm slip around his shoulder and guide him out of the bar.
Pik had never been on the back of anyone’s bike before, none but Jai’s. It felt equal parts bitter and sweet to taint the experience.
He let himself fall into the moment, let Jet buckle the helmet onto his head, let him reach back to pull his arms tight around his waist as the engine roared to life beneath them. It was a short ride, but Pik soaked it in, leaning his head against Jet’s back and breathing in the mix of his scent in the cool night air. He would let himself feel this, if only for tonight.
His phone was buzzing in his pocket, but he ignored it. His mind was clouded with fuzzy comfort and he was practically purring louder than the bike he sat on, fighting the urge to bury his nose in the alpha’s back. He’d never allowed himself the indulgence of scenting so freely before. As they pulled up to his apartment building he couldn’t help but hold on tighter. He didn’t want this moment to end, didn’t want to let go of this precious space in which he didn’t have to pretend not to be affected.
This stranger didn’t know what he was, or maybe he did. It didn’t matter, because the only thing that tethered them was desire. Not history, not friendship, just want. Jet's desire to find his own pleasure, and Pik’s desire to let go of his restraints. To belong to someone, to be possessed. But it wouldn’t go beyond this moment, because Pik knew no matter how strongly this alpha’s pheromones called to him, he wouldn’t be able to go through with it.
The bike slowed to a stop and Pik swung his leg over to hop off, unbuckling the helmet and shaking his head to tousle the hair he was sure had been ruined. He handed the helmet over and met the soft gaze of a kind alpha.
“You’re not going to invite me up, are you?” He asked knowingly. He didn’t seem upset, just a bit disappointed.
“No, I’m not.” Pik responded softly. He felt like an asshole, taking the ride but offering nothing in return. He could’ve just as easily called a cab, but then he would’ve had to sit in the silence of his own mind and reflect on how alone he felt. At least this way, there was no room for the shame he pushed onto himself every time he let Jai walk away.
Jet sighed and dropped his head, but he was still smiling.
“Maybe next time. Though I kind of hope for your sake there isn’t one.”
Pik nodded. He want sure what so say to this man who somehow had him all figured out. His phone began to ring again, this time audible in the empty parking lot.
“You gonna get that?” Jet nodded towards his phone and Pik pulled it out to check the caller ID.
Jai (14 missed calls)
Pik’s eyes widened and he scrambled to unlock the device.
“Let me see that?” Jet requested. Pik handed it over and watched at Jet typed for a moment before handing it back. He’d entered his contact.
“Call me, if you ever get tired of waiting on him.” He said. Then he twisted the key into the ignition and drove off. Pik’s eyes followed his shrinking form until in disappeared into the distance.
Then he called Jai. Because even with everything he’d done tonight, all the silent curses he’d sent Jai in his mind, the biggest realization of all was this; he wasn’t ready to give up on him.
Jai answered on the second ring and Pik held the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he rifled through his pockets for his keycard to enter the building.
“Pookpik! Where are you? I didn’t see a cab charge on my card and it’s been hours. Please tell me you’re not still there.” Jai’s worried voice floated through the speaker.
“I’m fine, Jai. I got a ride home and I’m walking into the building now.”
“Got a ride? With who?”
“Just some guy from the club. Listen, I'm about to get in the elevator and the service is terrible there. I’ll call you back in the morning but I’m fine.” Pik insisted, not giving Jai a chance to respond before hanging up and slipping his phone into his back pocket. It buzzed with a new message but he ignored it.
The elevator dinged when he reached his floor and he stepped out into the hall, beginning the long trek to his door at the other end of it.
He didn’t know why Jai was keeping tabs on him. Maybe he worried Pik would go crazy with the bill. Valid concern, considering how close he’d come to attempting a max out, but still. Jai left with someone else. He should be snoring in their arms by now, completely worn out by whatever activities they’d gotten into. Where had he found the time to check up on Pik?
As he neared his door he caught a familiar scent in the air. Citrus, the sweeter fruits like tangerines and pomelo, but not the flesh of it. It had a bitter edge, like biting too close to the rind. A refreshing treat gone sour, a taste that lingered on the tongue and stung the back of your throat.
Pik always loved the way Jai smelled, regardless of the subtle changes he’d come to pick up on through the years. When he was sad his scent dulled, becoming the artificial notes of an orange flavored sweet like he was trying to mask the emotion. When he was extremely happy or comfortable it took on a syrupy quality, like still warm fresh marmalade. Doused in sugar and boiled down. But when he was angry, when he was stressed, his scent turned bitter and biting. Like even it was trying to ward off anyone who thought to get too close.
Pik rounded the corner and saw him then, hands wringing together as he squatted against the wall beside Pik’s door. He looked up quickly, sniffing the air and head shooting towards Pik with dilated pupils. He stood and marched towards Pik until he could grip both sides of the unzipped jacket he was still wearing and yank him in, burying his face in Pik’s neck.
Pik yelped and fought to pull away, but he was no match for the alpha’s strong grip. Jai huffed at his neck, sniffing down across his collar before pulling back with a disgusted look on his face.
“Pik, you reek.”
“Gee thanks, what are you doing here? Isn’t there some swooning omega who’s bed you should be in right now?” Pik snarked as he fumbled for his key.
“I thought so, but they were in pre-heat. I cut my losses.” Jai shrugged.
He had this weird rule, about never messing around with an omega during their heat. It was for two reasons, one noble one less so. He didn’t want to risk that the choice to sleep with him was one influenced by a biological need and not a real desire. He didn’t want to take advantage of someone in a vulnerable spot like that. He also didn't want to deal with the emotional attachment that came with helping an omega through their heat. He wasn’t that guy.
So he came crawling back like always, heart already set on not spending the night alone and it was just too easy to find comfort in the familiar arms of his beta friend.
“But seriously, I smell alpha all over you. What asshole brought you home?” Jai’s tone turned edgy as he posed the question.
Pik gave up on finding his keys for a moment and turned to meet Jai’s eye.
“His name’s Jet, and he was nice enough to give me a ride when you abandoned me at the bar. Again.” Pik responded, arms crossing at his chest.
“Whoah, I didn’t abandon you. I left my card so you could cab home when you were done. You didn’t have to get a ride.”
“I wanted to get a ride from him. He’s pretty nice and contrary to what you might think, the party doesn’t end the moment you leave the room.”
“Yea, real nice of him to approach someone that smells like another alpha. Terrible etiquette.”
What? Smells like another…
Pik’s hands froze where they were fingering across the sleeve of Jai’s jacket, still swallowing his frame. The jacket. Of course.
“You left this on purpose? So I’d smell like you.” Pik asked then answered his own question and Jai nodded like it wasn’t an insane concept.
“Yeah, so the assholes would leave you alone while I’m not there. Didn’t work this time though.”
This time.
“What if I don’t want to be left alone.” Pik let his arms drop and straightened, meeting Jai’s gaze with a challenge. “What if I want to be approached by a strange alpha at a bar and let him take me home on the back of his bike? I never asked you to do that, Jai.”
“Did you?” Jai’s voice darkened, almost threatening. He took a step forward, then another. Forcing Pik back until he was pressed against his door. He lifted his arms and pressed his palms flat beside Pik’s head, caging him in and suffocating him in the scent of tangerine blossoms dripping with honey.
“We’re in the hallway, Jai.” Pik whispered, suddenly breathless. Jai leaned in closer and lowered his voice even further.
“Did you wish it were him here now?” He asked, and Pik didn’t know what to say. Because no, he didn’t. No matter how much it hurt, he didn’t want the person in front of him to be anyone else.
“No.” He whispered, the truth pushing out of him unbidden.
Jai grinned at him and pulled back, like he hadn’t just shattered what remained of Pik’s composure.
“If you wanted some alpha company, all you had to do was ask. Let me in, baby.”
Oh, it killed him slowly every time Jai called him that. With their friends, around anyone else, he was Pik, Pookpik, Sanit. Nicknames Jai had claimed to be only his to use. But when they were alone, when the restraint and expectation of what two friends should be went hazy and faded to the back of their minds, he was baby.
Pik found his key easily this time and moved to unlock the door. Jai entered behind him and sighed like he was home after a hard day’s work. They fell into their rhythm, toeing off their shoes and Pik slid Jai’s jacket off before tossing it to him.
“I’ll need to get this dry cleaned. It smells like smoke.” Jai faked a gag.
“It always smells like smoke.” Pik tossed over his shoulder as he made his way down the hall to his bedroom. Jai followed.
“Yea, my smoke. My jacket, my Sanit.”
“Jesus, it’s just a jacket. I’ll wash it here if you want.”
“You’ll never understand how crazy the smell of someone else on you drives me.”
Pik halted in the middle of his bedroom and whipped around. That claim had lit a fire in him and suddenly he was raging. He would never understand? He knew better than anyone the twisted rotten feeling of possessive obsession that sprouted in his chest when he caught another scent on Jai. But something Jai would truly never understand is the helplessness of not being able to replace it. He was scentless, no matter how deeply he longed to rub himself against every inch of Jai’s body until he was coated in him, until any omega that lingered too close could smell the claim, he couldn’t.
“You think it doesn’t affect me when I’m constantly reminded that you aren’t all mine, that I have to share you? You go out there,” Pik gestured towards the door, “and you fuck whoever you want. Then, you come here, scented like sex and omega, and you hold me and give me so many ‘almosts’ I think I’ll die. It’s torture, Jaijai. Because I’ll never be able to give you what they can.”
Pik thought about those lonely nights, the ones where Jai had found somewhere else to sleep but left his scent to haunt every corner of Pik’s bed. He thought of the way he’d let his hand slip below his waist, the way he’d writhe in his sheets at the thought of his best friend, and at the way his eyes would sting with sharp tears the closer he got to his end. He’d turn his face to bury in his pillow, hiding from himself, then he’d catch it. The faint scent of foreign omega in his bed, and it broke him every time. His nearing climax would fizzle out and he’d break down into a shaking mess, pathetic and achingly alone.
Jai was frozen in shock before him, lips pressed together hard and breath halted. By the time Pik was done he was red in the face, panting with the exertion of finally letting it slip.
“Pookpik…” Jai started breathlessly. “You can scent me?” He asked, and his voice cracked at the end.
Pik’s own eyes widened as if he’d just realized what he said. He stumbled back, reaching behind him to catch the knob of the bathroom door and yanking it open as he watched Jai creep forward like he was trying not to frighten a wild doe.
He slammed the door between them just in time, twisting the lock and sliding to the floor. He was shaking all over and his chest felt heavy as he struggled to suck air into his lungs. What had he done? Oh god, what had he done?!
“Pik, baby, c’mon open the door. It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”
He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see. His vision was going dark at the edges and it was so reminiscent of the way his life was crumbling down around him. He felt the pounding of Jai’s fist on the door at his back. Heard the muffled pleas to let him in.
“Whatever this is, Pik, we can handle it. We’ve been through worse, just don’t shut me out. Please.”
They stayed that way a while, Pik curled up in a tight ball on the cold bathroom tile and Jai crouched on the other side of the door. He felt frozen, like if he didn’t move then nothing had to change. Through Jai’s soothing words and the trickle of his comforting pheromones leaking under the door, Pik managed to get himself under control.
“Pookpik, can you say something please? Just so I know you’re okay.” Jai’s soft words drifted through the door. Pik’s throat felt raw as he swallowed and realised he’d been sobbing so hard he’d run out of tears. Jai must’ve grown concerned as he quieted. He lifted his head from the floor first, then uncurled his legs. He shook the circulation back into his limbs and felt every joint ache as he used his arms to push himself off the floor and stand. His head swam, dizzy from standing too fast. He reached for the door and unlocked it, twisting the handle and letting the door swing open.
There was Jai, his best friend, the alpha, kneeling before him. His head jerked up with wide eyes and he threw himself forward, arms reaching up to wrap around Pik’s thighs and face burring itself in his stomach. Pik let his limp hand fall to rest atop Jai’s messy hair, mindlessly toying with the strands as Jai’s voice vibrated against him.
“You can’t do that to me baby. You can’t fall apart like that and lock me out so I can’t put you back together.”
Pik didn’t respond, but Jai didn’t need him to. He stood, lifting Pik’s weak body into his arms and carrying him to the bed. He sat him down, helped rid him of his jeans and shirt, replacing them with what he knew was Pik’s favorite pajamas. It was a shirt several sizes too big because it wasn’t Pik’s, or at least it hadn’t been before Jai let him keep it. He buried him under the many blankets there, tedious as he tucked in every edge before sweeping the stray hairs from Pik’s forehead. He went to the bathroom, dampened a cloth with warm water then returned to wipe the dried streaks of tears from Pik’s ruddy face. They didn’t speak, the silence between them morphing into an unspoken truce of sorts. They both needed this right now.
Pik needed to be comforted and coddled and Jai needed to be the one to do it. It was torture, to be stuck helpless on the other side of a locked door while the person you cared for most refused your aid. To have to listen to every muffled cry you couldn’t shush away, every broken sob you couldn’t soothe. He knew what this was, he’d taken the time to let it sink in as he waited for Pik to unlock the door. He was an omega. One who, for some reason, Jai couldn’t scent. But that didn’t matter, because he was his best friend and he was in so much distress right now the echo of his pain ricocheted through Jai’s entire being. He didn’t need to smell it, he could feel it.
So he took his time now, to take care of Pik in the way he needed. Fully self indulgent in the way he stroked gentle thumbs across the boy’s cheeks. The alpha in him was calming as he watched Pik’s eyes grow droopy with exhaustion and he found himself purring as he scooched in closer on the bed until he could encompass his entire form in his arms. He pulled him close, let him bury his nose at the joint of his neck and shoulder, and rubbed a hand up and down Pik’s back as he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.
This was all they needed tonight, to find comfort in each other for just tonight. The calm before the storm, the eye of the hurricane. Because in the morning, Jai would need answers to his questions. Nothing would ever be the same again.