Chapter Text
Artemis tried the doorknob and got a scorched palm for his trouble. Sealed. The fairy must have blasted it with her weapon. Very astute. One less variable in the equation. It was exactly what he himself would have done.
Artemis did not waste any time attempting to force open the door. It was reinforced steel, and he was twelve. You didn't have to be a genius to figure it out, even though he was. Instead the Fowl heir apparent crossed to the monitor wall and followed developments from there.
He knew immediately what the LEP were up to—send in the troll to secure a cry for help, interpret it was an invitation, and next thing you know a brigade of goblin storm troopers were taking the manor. Clever. And unanticipated. It was the second time he'd underestimated his opponents. One way or another, there wouldn't be a third.
Artemis was surprised, however, to learn that they were the only ones he'd underestimated. Orion had analyzed weaknesses in the troll in record time, and caught a few that he himself missed. He also hadn't expected her to be aerodynamically competent. It occurred to Artemis then that his cousin may be just as clever as he was. That coupled with her unexpected athletic ability meant that if she didn't return to her usual activities after tonight, as he doubted she would, things were going to get very interesting around Fowl Manor.
Ryn remained on the main floor while Butler went upstairs to fetch Artemis. The room still stunk badly and likely would for the rest of the night. She both dreaded and eagerly anticipated what her cousin had to say about that. While Artemis talked like he was seventy years old, he was considerably fun to piss off.
That was another thing to add to her list of things she hadn't expected: her joy at tormenting Artemis. The only other people that'd ever happened with were Murray, Zak, and…Isaac.
Another unexpected thing, how often this place made her dwell on dangerous thoughts. Figures. The manor was enormous, and beautiful, but shallow in its magnificence. The same went for Artemis. As brilliant as he was, he was also spoiled.
She knew she was probably being too harsh. After all, growing up in a place like this Artemis probably knew few, if any, people their age. It didn't take a psychologist to see how badly that could mess a kid up.
At that moment she spotted Holly, hovering about twenty feet above her.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'm gonna give him hell for this!" She shouted up to the fairy.
There were advantages to being a pessimist. You were seldom disappointed and often surprised.
"Orion, would you care to explain what that putrescent odor is?!"
Holly hovered beneath the portico. Orange shards of light striped the blue. The time-stop was breaking up. There were only minutes left before Root blue-rinsed the whole place. Foaly's voice buzzed in her earpiece.
"Okay, Captain Short. The gold is on the way. Be ready to move."
"We don't bargain with kidnappers," said Holly, surprised. "What's going on here?"
"It’s a stink bomb Artemis, how do you fail to comprehend this?"
"Nothing," replied Foaly casually. "Straight forward exchange. The gold goes in, you come out. We send in the missile. Big blue bang, and it's all over."
"Is there a particular reason couldn't have used a simple smoke screen?"
"Does Fowl know about the bio-bomb?" Holly asked.
"Okay, a) that would've impaired my vision as much as his, which b) would've been twice as bad for me, and c) why even bother asking? The whole scenario's ridiculous."
"Yep. Knows all about it. Claims he can escape the time-field." Foaly answered.
"…"
"That's impossible."
"Correct."
"…"
"But they'll all be killed!"
"…How long will the smell last?"
"Big deal," retorted Foaly, and Holly could almost see him shrug. "That's what you get when you mess with the People."
"Anywhere from a couple days to a few weeks."
Holly was torn. There was no doubt that the Fowls were a danger to the civilized underworld. Very few tears would be shed over either body. But the other girl, Juliet—she was an innocent. She deserved a chance.
Holly descended to an altitude of six and a half feet. Head height for Butler. The humans had congregated in the wreckage that used to be a hallway. Even without overhearing the argument between the Fowl twins she could sense the disunity among them. Artemis was glaring at his apparent sister, jaw clenched and fists balled. While the girl in question, appropriately named Orion, was casually leaning against the banister.
Holly fired her own accusing glare at Artemis. "Have you told them?"
Artemis dropped his glare and returned her stare, abruptly calm. "Told them what?"
"Yes, Fairy, told us what?" echoed Juliet belligerently, still a bit miffled over the mesmerizing.
Ryn said nothing, only raised a nearly invisible eyebrow, a mix of curiosity and annoyance flashing in her eyes.
"Don't play dumb Fowl. You know what I'm talking about."
"Oh, he's not playing. He only likes people to think he is."
Artemis could never play dumb for very long, and in this case he didn't have the option. "Yes, Captain Short. I do. The bio-bomb. Your concern would be touching, if it extended to myself. Nevertheless, do not upset yourself. Everything is proceeding according to plan."
Ryn looked like she had another smart remark ready, but decided to let the Fairy throw her tantrum first.
"According to plan!" gasped Holly, pointing to the devastation surrounding them. "was this part of the plan? And Butler almost getting killed—all part of the plan?"
"No," Artemis admitted, earning his cousin's attention. "The troll was a slight blip. But irrelevant to the overall scheme."
"Yeah, 'cuz that was such a good idea."
Holly decided to leave the two to their impending argument, turning instead to Butler.
Artemis, likewise, turned to his cousin. "Is there something you wish to say to me Orion?"
The blond girl mock-thought for a moment, tapping a finger on her chin, before answering. "Yeah. Your game is lousy, your talk is cheap, and my name is Ryn."
Artemis's gaze was steady, though his eyes were a few degrees cooler than before. For once, their expressions matched.
"You're crazy. All of you! In five minutes you'll all be dust. Don't you realize?"
Artemis sighed, breaking away first and turning back to the hovering fairy. "You've had your answer, Captain. Now, please. This is a delicate stage in the proceedings."
"Proceedings? It's a kidnapping! At least have the guts to call it what it is."
What remained of Artemis's patience after confronting his cousin was beginning to fray.
"Butler, do we have any tranquilizer hypodermics left?"
The giant manservant nodded, but didn't speak.
"Drugging your own family Arty?" Ryn piqued. "We might be related after all."
Artemis was both annoyed and uncharacteristically confused. Annoyed, because of the girl taking up his mother's pet name, and confused because of her erratic mood change and how she could’ve thought the dart was meant for her. However, his attention was diverted by activity in the avenue.
"Ah, it would seem the LEP have capitulated. Butler, supervise the delivery. But stay alert. Our fairy friends are not above trickery."
"Or breaking things," Ryn piqued.
"You're fine ones to talk," muttered Holly.
"It's the ransom," shouted Butler.
Artemis tried to quell the excitement rising in his chest. This was not the time to allow emotions to enter the equation.
"Check for booby traps."
There was a particularly un-girlish snort behind him. When he turned, Ryn had a hand in the space between her slightly rosy cheeks, her shoulders shaking slightly from bottled laughter.
"What?" he asked.
"Y-you said 'booby'," the girl replied, still giggling.
Both Artemis and Holly looked at her with mirrored expressions of incredulity.
"Hey, I'm 12 and I haven't slept in 36 hours. I'm entitled to some lame humor here."
"No hostiles," Butler called inside. "Seems to be self-propelled."
The trolley lurched over the steps, entering their view.
"Who's driving that thing? A monkey with a keyboard?"
Holly smiled despite herself. Foaly would sulk for weeks.
Butler, however, opted to ignore the girl. Bending low to the ground and scanning the trolley's underside.
"No explosive devices visible."
He extracted a Sweeper from his pocket, extending the telescopic aerial.
"No bugs either. Nothing detectable at any rate. But what do we have here?"
"Uh-oh," said Foaly.
"I call it!" Ryn shouted, jumping in front of the manservant and yanking the coin-sized fisheye lens out by the cable, not seeming to care about the sparks.
While the girl pocketed her new treasure, Butler steered the trolley into the lobby. It stood there humming softly, as though waiting to be unloaded.
Now that the moment had come, Artemis was almost afraid to seize it. It was hard to believe that after all these months, his wicked scheme was minutes away from fruition.
Afraid, until Ryn cleared her throat and he caught her gaze. Expectant. Questioning. Smug.
"Open it," he said to Butler, his voice perfectly level.
It was an irresistible instant. Juliet approached tentatively, spangled eyes wide. Even Holly closed the throttle a notch, dropping until her feet brushed the marble tiling. Butler unzipped the black tarpaulin, dragging it back across the cargo.
Nobody said a thing. Artemis imagined that somewhere the 1812 Overture was playing. The gold sat there, stacked in shining rows. It seemed to leave an aura, a warmth, everyone was hypnotized.
Everyone that is, except Ryn, who'd never been impressed by shiny things.
"They paid," Holly breathed. "I can't believe it."
"Neither can I," murmured Artemis.
Ryn looked at both of them like they'd suddenly grown a second set of arms. "Wasn't that the point?"
At the first syllable, the gold-spell seemingly faded and Artemis was all business again.
"Butler, is it real?" He inquired.
Butler hefted a gold bar from the stack. He dug the tip of a throwing knife into the ingot, gouging out a small sliver.
"It's real all right," he said, holding the scraping up to the light. "This one, at any rate."
"Good. Very good. Begin unloading it, would you? We'll send the trolley back out with Captain Short."
"Artemis, give it up." Holly said, jumping back into her previous argument. "No human has every succeeded in keeping fairy gold. And they've been trying for centuries. The LEP will do anything to protect their property."
Artemis shook his head. Amused.
"I've told you…"
Holly took him by the shoulders. "You cannot escape! Don't you understand?"
Ryn replied suddenly in a similar fervor. "Do we even have a choice anymore?!"
Artemis interjected calmly. "I can escape, Holly. Look in my—"
"Our."
"—eyes and tell me I can't."
So she did. Captain Holly Short gazed into the matching blue-black eyes of her captors, and she saw the truth there. And for a moment she believed it.
"There's still time," she said desparately. "There must be something. I have magic."
A crease of annoyance wrinkled the boy's brow.
"I hate to disappoint you, Captain, but there is absolutely nothing."
Ryn rolled her eyes in an almost exaggerated fashion at the obvious lie, regardless of who it was being fed to. Really, even without the science-y proof, her cousin should know what the fairy was offering him. Hell, if it were her she'd take up the offer in a second.
Okay bad thought, bad thought, think about something else.
Then she noticed Artemis had paused. He was looking up to the second floor to what she could only assume was Aunt Angeline's room, seeming in debate with himself.
She turned to Holly and mouthed 'wait for it…' conspiracingly.
After a second Butler walked by, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder when he saw his expression.
"Everything all right?"
"Yes, Butler. Keep unloading. Get Juliet to help. I need to talk to Captain Short."
"Are you sure there's nothing wrong?"
Artemis sighed, opening his mouth to answer before Ryn cut in.
"He's sure," the blond girl said, holding his shoulder, smiling smugly. "Besides, from here there’s nowhere to go but up."
Butler studied her from his mountainous height with one eyebrow raised.
Artemis turned his head and looked her. Just looked.
Ryn dropped her grasp on her cousin's shoulders, holding up her hands in a placating manner. For a second her smile seemed to look friendly.
Then she sprinted to the still-loaded trolley, hopping onto the handlebar and letting her momentum do the rest.
It glided like a dream.
Butler was more than a little surprised, Ryn was not at all.
"You gave it back?"
Artemis nodded. No need to talk about the wish. It could be perceived as weakness. Something, based on the look on his cousin’s face, she would prove in the near future.
"Hmm," said Butler, smarter than he looked.
"Now, we should celebrate," enthused Artemis, deftly changing the subject. "Some champagne, I think."
The boy strode to the kitchen before Butler's gaze could dissect him, a suspicious Ryn right on his heels.
By the time the others caught up, Artemis had already filled four glasses with Dom Perignon.
"Remind me, when I can legally drink this?" asked Ryn, pointing to one of the glasses.
"Not for a few years," Artemis replied.
"Should I be worried?"
"No, I'm sure my mother wouldn't mind. Just this once."
Ryn shrugged, half-satisfied. She always thought she wouldn't have her first drink until high school, at the earliest.
Butler felt that something was afoot. Nevertheless, he took the crystal fluke offered to him.
Juliet looked at her big brother.
"Is this okay?"
"I suppose so." He took a breath. "You know I love you, don't you sis?"
Juliet scowled—something else that the local louts found very endearing. She smacked her brother on the shoulder.
"You're so emotional for a bodyguard."
Artemis had unconsciously been watching Ryn's face through the exchange and found himself very surprised at her expression. Her face was blank, not bored just...empty. Her eyes had glazed over and her mischevious grin grew lax at Butler's words. He realized that this was the exact same expression she'd worn since arriving in Ireland three weeks ago. However, it was only seeing her tonight—with her sarcastically chatter and snide yet cheesy sense of humor—did he realize how abnormal the expression looked on her.
The realization, however, was cut short when Butler looked him straight in the eye.
"You want us to drink this, don't you, Artemis?"
Artemis met his gaze squarely. "Yes, Butler. I do."
Without another word Butler drained his glass, Juliet followed suit. The manservant tasted the tranquilizer immediately, and although he would have had ample time to snap Artemis Fowl's neck, he didn't. No need for Juliet to be distressed in her final moments. Besides, Ryn had something of his concern in her possession, and that would likely do little to convince her to relieve it.
Artemis watched his friends sink to the floor before turning to his cousin, would hadn't swallowed a drop of her own drink. Which made sense—she'd watched him pour it. Her face was still in that vacant state, though now one eyebrow was partially raised and her eyes were slightly alight with interest. Abruptly, the expression crumpled like a piece of paper as Ryn chuckled lowly and cracked a small grin. Then the grin widened as Ryn raised her glass in his direction.
"To a relationship well begun, Master Fowl."
Artemis had to admit it was interesting to be on the opposing end of his vampire grin.
He raised his glass to meet her before they simultaneously swallowed the tranquilizer-laced champagne.
The two waited calmly for the drug to take hold. Neither had to wait long, since each dose had been calculated according to body weight. As Artemis's thoughts began to swirl, it occurred to him that he may never awaken again. As he sank into unconsciousness, he remembered his cousin's unanswered question: do we even have a choice anymore?
No. No they didn't.
Ryn stood next to Butler, leaning over her still-unconscious cousin.
"Can I pour some water on his face?" she asked the man, "might wake him up."
"No."
Ryn knew she probably shouldn't have woken up just seconds after Butler. In fact at her size she should've out slept all of them. But her tiny girl body had a scary fast metabolism, plus she learned that she had some partial resistance to most sedatives when she had her appendix removed at age 3.
"If I find a Sharpie somewhere around here can I draw a mustache on him?"
"No."
Ryn assessed the bodyguard for a moment. He was mad at his charge for what'd gone down the previous night. Hell, she was pretty pissed at him too. Again.
"At least let me get a bowl of warm water. Dip his hand in it and—"
"NO."
Artemis stirred at their feet, and Butler lost interest in her as his charge's eyes opened.
"Artemis. You're awake."
"Finally." Ryn said, reaching down to him. "C'mon, up we go."
Artemis allowed his cousin to haul him to his feet, head spinning from the action. He expected Butler's hand at his elbow to steady him. It didn't come. Juliet was lying on a chaise lounge, dribbling onto the cushions. Obviously the draft hadn't worn off yet. Vaguely, he wondered how Ryn had awoken before him.
"It was just sleeping pills. Harmless."
Both pairs of eyes had a dangerous glint.
"Explain yourself." Butler rumbled.
Artemis rubbed his eyes. "Later, Butler. I'm feeling a bit—"
Ryn grabbed the back of his shirt and jacket, making him choke at the sudden action.
Butler stepped in front of him. "Artemis, my sister is lying drugged on that couch. She was almost killed. So explain yourself now!"
Artemis realized he'd been given an order. He considered being offended, then, upon seeing the look on his cousin's face, decided that perhaps Butler was right. He had gone too far.
"I didn't tell about the sleeping pills because you'd fight them. It's only natural. And it was imperative to the plan that we all go to sleep immediately."
"The Plan?" Butler inquired, Ryn raising a skeptical brow.
Artemis lowered himself into a comfortable chair, his companions followed suit.
"The time-field was the key to this whole affair. It's the LEP's ace in the hole. It's what has made them unbeatable for all these years. Any incident can be contained. That and the bio-bomb make a formidable combination."
"So why did we have to be drugged?" Butler asked.
Artemis smiled. "Look out the window. They're gone. It's over."
Butler and Ryn glanced through the net curtains. The light was bright and clear. Not a hint of blue. Nevertheless, the manservant was unimpressed. "They're gone for now. They'll be back tonight, I guarantee it."
"No. That's against the rules. We beat them. That's it, game over."
Ryn was getting impatient. "Yeah, yeah, you did the math. Give the boy sticker. What was with the pills?"
"Not to be distracted, I see."
"Never was."
"Very well, I had to think of a way to think of a way to escape the time-field. I traveled through the Book, but there was nothing. Not a clue. The People themselves have not yet developed a way. So I went back to their Old Testament, back when their lives and ours were intertwined. You know the stories—elves that made shoes during the night, sprites that cleaned houses. Back when we coexisted to a certain extent. Magical favors in exchange for their fairy forts. The big one, of course, was Santa Claus."
Butler's eyebrows nearly jumped off the front of his face and Ryn's practically vanished into her hairline.
"Santa Claus?"
"As in the guy who got famous from a soda commercial in the 1950's?"
Artemis raised his palms. "I know, I know. I was a tad skeptical myself. But apparently our little corporate-image Santa Claus is not descended from a Turkish saint, or a soft drink campaign. He is a shadow of San D'Klass, the third king of the Frond Elfin dynasty. He is known as San the Deluded."
"Not a great title, as titles go."
Ryn snorted. "Are you kidding me? That's gonna be my new screen name."
Artemis decided to continue. "D'Klass thought that the greed of the Mud People in his kingdom could be assuaged by distributing lavish gifts. He would marshal all the great wizards once a year and have them throw up a great time-stop over vast regions. Flocks of sprites would be sent out to deliver the presents while the humans were asleep."
"Yeah that didn't work," Ryn piqued. "Human greed can't be "assuaged", especially by gifts."
Artemis wondered if there would ever come a day his cousin would not surprise him.
Butler, undistracted, frowned. "What if the humans—"
"We," Ryn corrected.
"Yes, what if we had woken up?"
"Ah yes. Excellent question. The heart of the matter. We wouldn't wake up? That is the nature of the time-stop. Whatever your state of consciousness going in, that's how you stay. You can neither wake up nor fall asleep. You mush have noticed the fatigue in your bones these last few hours, yet your mind would not let you sleep."
Butler nodded. Things were getting clearer, in a roundabout sort of way. Ryn, however, looked like she was about to start drooling. Wordiness bored her—it was a habit she picked up from school back home. And Artemis talked like he was narrating from a math textbook.
"So my theory was that the only way to escape the time-field was to simply fall asleep. Our own consciousness was all that kept us imprisoned."
"In theory," Ryn reminded him.
"Not just a theory. We did have a test subject."
"Who? Ah, Angeline." Butler remembered.
"Yes. My mother. Because of her narcotic-induced slumber, she moved with the natural order of time, unhindered by the time-field. If she had not, I would have simply surrendered to the LEP and submitted to their mind wipe."
"Uh-huh." Ryn said skeptically, "so the drugs were to make us fall asleep and leave the time-field."
"Basically."
"…Would it've killed you to say that twenty minutes ago?!"
Butler put a hand on her shoulder. "You cut it pretty fine, though. Another minute…"
"Agreed." The boy nodded. "Things were tense there at the end. It was necessary in order to double-bluff the LEP."
He paused so that Butler and Ryn could process the information.
"Well, am I forgiven?"
Ryn thought for a moment as Butler sighed. On the chaise lounge, Juliet snored like a druken sailor. The manservant smiled suddenly.
"Yes, Artemis. All is forgiven."
"Great!" Ryn jumped to her feet. "Everybody's friends again. I'm going to bed."
"Didn't you just wake up?"
"Yeah, from a narcotic dream. Before that I'd been up for almost two days and bull-rode a troll. I've earned a nap, wake me for dinner. Or breakfast, I don't really care."
She was almost out the door when she turned back to look her cousin in the eye. "Oh by the way, Butler's given me permission to do a full front tackle on you if you do something like that again."
With that, she was out the door and heading back to her girl-cave in the basement. Of course, she wasn't really tired, she just needed an excuse to get away from the main part of the house. She knew what Artemis would've traded all that gold for, and she didn't want to be around for the big reunion.
It wasn't as though she didn't like mushy things (even though she didn't), it was that she'd spent far too much time fantasizing her own version of such a scene when she was little. No, she intended to use her "nap" time to plan out the immediate future. With an actual parental-type adult in the house things were going to change for both of them. First of which, she was likely going to get a taste of what Irish middle school was like. But she wasn't worried about that. Though Artemis should be.
Like she said, a boy their age needed friends.
And if she would have anything to do with it, he would have plenty.