Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Scott was all kinds of nervous. He was on the 7 am Delta flight to Boston. Instead of being on his team plane on his way back to New York. He had a game in a day’s time. This was certifiably insane. He hadn’t spoken to Kip in two years.

Not since they hooked up at Scott’s New York apartment. One day, Kip had shown up, drenched from the rain, and kissed him. They'd slept together, and then Kip had left like he had come, without a word. 

That day Scott had wanted to tell Kip how much he’d missed him in this past year, how shit Sochi had been, how awful he had felt. How he was so annoyed to have crashed and burned in yet another season. But he knew this wasn’t his place. So, he’d let it go.

This had been Kip's decision. And it was fair. He didn't want to be with someone closeted. Scott could understand that even if he didn't like it.

Since then, he kept looking Kip up, on Instagram, on LinkedIn. Whenever he could, desperate to catch a glimpse of the love of his life. Basis some internet sleuthing, he knew, that  Kip graduated last year, and he’d taken up a job in Boston at the Institute of Contemporary Art Boston.

He thought it was strange he stayed back there given that his father was still in New York. But maybe he had a boyfriend now. A thought that killed Scott. There had been some hot men he had posted photos with, but they seemed to have disappeared lately.

Oh god, what if he was just with a really private person no? Was Scott  flying across the country to go meet his ex-boyfriend just to hear that he is in a relationship?

To make matters worse, he bumped into the Raiders team at the airport.

“Hunter. What are you doing here? Isn’t your flight later grandpa?” Rozanov chirped. Scott wanted to kick him. For Christ’s sake he was only three years older than the Russian. But he loved incessantly chirping at him about his age.

He supposed he could give him some leeway given that his and Hollanders…….presumed hidden relationship had given Scott the push he needed to go get the love of his life back. But at the moment, he wanted to punch him. “Fuck off Rozanov. It’s too early for this.” Scott grumbled.

Rozanov seemed like he was going to say something, but his phone chimed. If Scott hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he’d never believe it. But the man was actually blushing. His eyes darted across his phone.

Was that Hollander? Scott wondered.  He tried to be subtle about looking into his phone, he was taller of the two.

The only things he caught were “My Sweet Jane” and a filthy text.

Ilya’s Phone

Jesus. Could that really be Hollander? Canada’s Golden boy? With such a mouth on him? Scott was extremely sceptical of his assumptions from the previous night.

He headed to Starbucks to get some coffee, and that’s when something hit him. Jane. Shane. Oh my god, could they be anymore obvious?

But then again, who would think Jane was Hollander. Unless they’d seen what Scott had?

As luck would have it, he bumped into Hollander at the coffee shop. He was getting some green tea.

“Hey Hollander.” He greeted. “Hey Hunter. How come you’re here? I thought the Admirals at least got to sleep in unlike us.” He asked.

Scott had always liked this kid. He was so polite, and he played like a hockey god. He had 2 cups, 2 more than Scott did. But he was never arrogant about it. Never showed off about that or the billion sponsorships his mother had gotten him.The idea of this polite man sending that filthy text was not making sense to Scott at all.

Nor was the fact that the arrogant asshole Rozanov was the one Hollander would sleep with. Even if he was gay.

Hunter had heard some rumours about him. Hockey players were huge gossips, but Hollander hadn’t come out officially, so he didn’t like to presume. Though it was more believable given other than Rose Landry in 2015, he didn’t seem to have dated anyone at all.

Rozanov on the other hand had recently been seen with some bimbo in his lap. And was constantly seen making out with women all over the continent. Things were not making sense to Scott at all.

As he went to get his order, he heard Hollander’s phone chime. Curiosity got the better of him, he tried to take a peek.

Shane’s Phone

Wow. Lily. Ilya. These guys really were not subtle. That too the name was saved as Boston Lily. Seriously Hollander, he wanted to ask. On top of that, the message was so sweet and romantic. Two words he never thought he’d associate with Rozanov of all people.

The contrast in their public personalities and their messages was confusing the hell out of Scott. But he at least knew that he wasn’t going insane. What he’d been noticing this weekend, especially with the cheek kiss, where Hollander had blushed like a virgin bride, wasn’t all in his head.

Somehow it gave him a little more confidence on what he was about to do. It was hell of a brave thing these two were doing. Taking a risk like this. Scott wished them well,  he wished he could voice it. Maybe someday, they could all be out, and even talk about it. Someday. Yeah like then hell freezes over, he joked.

For now, Scott had a different mission. Kip.

Scott had been alone for so much of his life. He didn’t want to be anymore. Not when he knew what he wanted, knew who he wanted.  He boarded his flight, hoping not too many people noticed him. He didn’t need to be trending on social media.

There was already a whole bunch of weird shipping stuff trending.

He landed at around 10, and first decided to go find a hotel. He wondered, had Kip changed his number?

What exactly was he supposed to do? Show up at his place of work?

He scrolled down to his chat. He winced at how formal their tone was.

Scott’s Phone

This had been their last interaction. Devoid of any emotion. And yet Scott had been incapable of not texting Kip when it was midnight.

He decided, in for a penny, in for a pound, and texted Kip.

Scott’s Phone

He sent the message and collapsed in his bed. Before he knew it, he’d passed out.

He woke up couple hours later. It was around noon. Shit. I fell asleep, he thought, getting up in a frenzy.

First thing he did was check his phone. OMG KIP HAD REPLIED.

Hours ago!

Scott’s Phone

Shit shit shit. Scott looked like a complete mess. Wait, deep breaths, he told himself.

Ok, step 1, message Kip back. Step 2 take a shower. Step 3 calm the fuck down.

Scott’s Phone

Scott took a long hot shower, it was relaxing after the uncomfortable flight from Tampa. He wanted to look his best.

He remembered he only had clothes for Tampa. What was he going to wear. Then he realised he’d packed a nice blazer. Thank God!

He put on a simple white tee under it so not to look too formal, some blue jeans and he headed out.

The immensity of what he was about to do was hitting him. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? Hi Kip, your ex Scott here. Sorry it's been 2 years, I love you, please be with me?

And even though he had a long call with his lawyer, Nick about it, was he really going to be able to come out? Openly? And still play hockey?

He’d read the NHL rule book, and Nick had assured him there was no official rule against being gay. Scott’s contract wasn’t up for another 3 years either.

As he mulled this over, he didn’t realise he’d arrived. In front of Kip’s building. Yikes.

With his heart beating too quick, he knocked on Kip’s apartment door. The door swung open. And there he was. Wow. He looked amazing. He had his glasses on, making him look even cuter.

He was wearing a white button down and jeans. Such a simple outfit, but to Scott he never looked more stunning.

“Hey Kip.” He said smiling. “Hey Scott. Come on in.”  Kip said smiling back.

Kip’s apartment was lovely. It smelled of him, of his Santal 33, old books, and something that was just Kip.

“Was great to hear from you after all this time. I uh got us these Greek salads, no feta for you.” Kip said, looking a bit shy.

“I am sorry if I ambushed you on a Monday. And you remembered I don't like feta?” Scott said, feeling touched.

“How could I forget?” Kip asked, looking at him so sweetly. Scott wanted to kiss him.

But could he? He wondered. But then he noticed Kip was staring at his lips just as Scott was staring at his.

It’s time to be brave, Scottie he thought to himself. He walked up to Kip, placing a hand on his face, "I've missed you so much." And then he closed the gap.

He kissed Kip gently at first, and then with all the passion he’d kept inside him for the past two and a half years.

He’d forgotten how good Kip’s mouth felt against his, how it felt to feel his body against his own. They both moaned into the kiss. Kip tried to escalate things but Scott wasn’t here for a hook up. He needed to make some things clear. He broke the kiss, Kip whined at the loss a bit at that.

“Kip.” Scott said, bringing his hand up to his face. “I came here, I mean I didn’t come here just to have sex.”

Kip’s face was full of confusion. "Wha...why not?"

“I realised something over the weekend.” Scott continued, stroking his cheek a bit. “What’s that?” Kip asked, pulling Scott closer by his waist.

“That I don’t want to live like this. I don’t want to live my life without you in it. Not for another second. I love you. I never stopped loving you. And I am not saying this to go back to the way things were. I want to shout it from the rooftop if I can. I want to tell everyone.” Scott said, the words just came out of his mouth on their own accord.

Kip looked taken aback, with his words. But just as Scott was beginning to regret his moronic romcom move, Kip said “I love you too Scott. I never stopped either. I tried. I tried for years. I dated other people, I kept telling myself I will get over you.  But no one made me feel like you did.” Kip said. Scott could have died a happy man at this point. They were both crying a bit now.

Scott kissed him again, deeply, trying to express what he had said with words, now with his lips. When they broke apart again, Kip asked, “Do you really mean it though? You want to come out? I don't mind hiding, I just can't be away from you again.”

Scott nodded. They sat down, “I don't want to hide. And this isn't just about you either. So much of my life I have hidden this huge part of me. I can't take it anymore. The heaviness of it. I spoke to my lawyer, read the entire NHL rulebook. I am ready. I decided I will probably do this once the playoffs are over. My plan was to maybe be out of the country for the summer. So, I wouldn’t have to deal with the fallout at that point.” Scott explained, hoping he was making sense.

“Not a bad plan. But only if you’re really sure. You would be the first one. That’s a very brave thing to do, Scott.” Kip said, looking at him with such love in his eyes.

“You make me want to be brave, Kip.” Scott admitted. “I have never been lonelier than these past couple years. Every day I would wake with an ache in my chest. I’d be smiling, but my mind would be thinking of you. But I am sorry, I barged into your life on this random Monday. I didn’t even ask what you’ve been up to. Or if you want to do this. I know you’re in Boston now.” Scott added, not wanting to pressurise Kip in anyway.

Probably a bit too late for that, he thought to himself.

Kip smiled and his whole face lit up. How had Scott gone two years without seeing this face? Never again. “Actually, you have excellent timing.” Kip said excitedly.

“I think the NHL commentators would disagree.” Scott joked. “Well, what do they know? They’re idiots.” Kip added smiling.

“I am actually moving back to New York. I put in my papers last week. I was missing my dad too much and my friends.” Kip said. “I had made my peace with having to see your billboards in the city. I did think about messaging you but I knew you would be busy.....” he trailed off.

“Really? You’re moving back?” Scott couldn’t believe his ears. He would not have said no to a long-distance relationship, but he really really didn’t want to with his already insane travel schedule. And if it meant he didn’t have to be in Rozanov’s city for longer than necessary, that was an added bonus.

“So where do we go from here?” Kip asked quietly. “I flew down here to tell you I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I think the next part is up to you.” Scott joked, still finding it hard to believe this was real.

Kip smiled and leaned forward. “Rest of your life huh? I might be busy 10 years from now.”

“Well, you will just have to reschedule.” Scott replied, kissing him again.

Suffice to say, their lunch remained untouched for a while.

Later, as they were cuddling in Kip’s bed, Scott told him about his crazy theory.

“Seriously? Rozanov and Hollander? You’re sure?” Kip asked, equally amazed.

“I mean it’s kind of difficult to be sure unless they invite me for a threesome.” Scott joked. “Not that I want that.” He added.

“But I did see Hollander going into Rozanov’s room both nights. At the karaoke bar, I swear it felt like they were singing the song to each other. And you should have seen them at the pool. They were literally eye fucking.” Scott shared.

He also admitted to reading their texts. “You dirty old man!” Kip teased. “Please stop babe, you’re sounding like Rozanov now.” Scott pleaded.

“Well how about I fuck you now? Make you forget about them both?” Kip asked, climbing on top of him. “Yes please.” Scott said, grabbing Kip’s butt.

They spent the whole day catching up with each other. Kip told him about his dating adventures in Boston, how awful some of his dates had been, how confusing it was. Scott told Kip about how he felt like this season he’d been finally able to get over his mid-season crash out. And how badly he wanted the cup.

“If we make the playoffs, would you come? With your father?” Scott asked. “You would want us to?” Kip said, surprised. “Yes. I don’t think I have ever had anyone I loved this much in the crowds other than you.” Scott said honestly, a sudden twinge of sorrow filled him, he missed his parents. They would have loved Kip.

“Of course I will be there. Speaking of my dad, would you like to meet him?” Kip asked a bit shyly. Scott nodded, feeling emotional at the thought Truth was he’d spent the past 2 years imagining what it would be like to meet Kip’s dad. To meet his friends, as his boyfriend. Not as Scott Hunter the New York Admirals captain, but just as Scott, Kip’s boyfriend.

And soon, Scott thought, Kip’s husband.

Now that he knew Kip loved him back, he didn’t want to wait another two years to do what he knew he should have done years ago. The minute the season was over for him, he was going to take Kip to Italy, and propose to him there. This of course was a secret at the moment, but one he didn’t mind keeping.

A secret that didn’t kill him.

He was so nervous about coming out. But here, with Kip in his arms, he knew no matter what happened, it was the right call. That what he was going to do would change everything. For him and he hoped for other closeted players too.

Hopefully for the better.

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