Chapter Text
Haas anyone seen my dignity
Apr 27th 7:10 PM
Pointedexter
I’m dead.
Holmburgler
Rip ☠️
Youngster
Rough game
Holmburgler
Roughest
Youngster
Now you and Oja have matching black eyes
Pointedexter
Kind of cute.
Holmburgler
Kind of fuck u
Youngster
Luca’s gone again!
Archie is Maybe In My League
April 27th 7:10 PM
Archie: Come over?!
Luca: I have curfew
Archie: Break it 🙏🏼
Luca: Maybe
Archie: 🥰 I’m in vip parking
Archie is Maybe In My League
April 27th 7:45 PM
Archie: So I take it no breaking curfew?
Luca: We’re heading to the airport right now.
Archie: Boooo 🍅
Luca: Haha my team are all wife guys, if they can get home faster they’re running
Luca: Also Cap wants to be home for Shane
Archie: Fine whatever #lovewins or whatever!
Archie: …Am I still not allowed to talk about it? Because I’m definitely still thinking about it. I haven’t even left the parking lot.
Luca: Uh, nope not yet. (^_^;)
Archie: Hmm…Fine. Have a safe flight
Operation Future HAB
April 27th 8:11 PM
Well…
Kyle
The Jersey worked?
The jersey worked kinda
Kip
Hockey guys are so fucking easy!
Kyle
wait Kinda?!
Harris
Sorry, I should’ve warned you they changed the flight
He's absolutely into me but somehow doesn’t think I’m into him?
Taylor
I get it. He has THFM syndrome. Landon suffered immensely
Fabian
wtf
Kyle
I'M AWARE OF THIS!
Harris
omg I had this with Troy
for those of us that don’t get it?
Taylor
Too hot for me syndrome
So I buy him a mirror. Got it.
Kyle
LOL I love you 🤣!
Archie is Maybe In My League
April 28th 12:10 AM
Luca: Why did I get home to a seven by three foot mirror?
Archie: Amazon prime. It’s so you can see yourself properly.
Luca: This doesn’t even fit.
Archie: Your lease is up soon get a new place where it fits
Luca: I feel manipulated.
Archie: Is it working?
Luca: Maybe
Haas anyone seen my dignity
Apr 29th 7:10 PM
Pointedexter
I know we just got our shit rocked but it’s still Wednesday
It’s my turn.
Never have I ever played defense.
Youngster
Man, fuck you. 🍻
Pointedexter
🍻
Holmburgler
🍻🙄
Youngster
Speaking of defense I think I might try LW
Holmburgler
??!!?!
Pointedexter
Connor?!
Holmburgler
Dude
What did Coach say?
Youngster
He said I should take the summer to adjust.
Honestly I’ll deny it with my dying breath but you’re (definitely better than Dillon) who said that?!
Holmburgler
Did u hear the rumor?!
Pointedexter
About Stevens?!!
I can’t believe he’s retiring after this year.
Holmburgler
Hes ancient
Pointedexter
Don’t we have an early pick this summer?
Youngster
But if we just went through play offs with only one and a half goalies.
Holmburgler
Barely made it to the second round…
Youngster
We gotta up our game boys
Pointedexter
You guys want to practice all summer don’t you. 😭
I’m definitely crashing B-Sens prospect camp
Holmburgler
Like U don’t?! U know who we r gonna fucking sign?!
You think so?!
Holmburgler
I have 97% odds actually
Pointedexter
Well shit
Youngster
I will actually scream if that happens.
I’m about to pass out. Good night.
Holmburgler
💤
Pointedexter
💤
Youngster
💤
Archie is Maybe In My League
April 29th 11:12 PM
Archie: Sorry about the playoffs.
Luca: It’s okay. We had a good run.
Luca: You should be happy! New York is your home town.
Archie: You know I only care about one hockey team right?
Luca: Oh.
Archie: Yes. Oh.
Luca: S2
The Mountains of Thessaly
May 8th 11:15 AM
Hazy
BABY HAAS ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
22 people liked this message
I haven’t won.
Troy
Still being nominated is huge
Cap
My son. I’m so proud
Cap… Thank you.
Evan
Dude, that’s so great I’m proud of you!
Young
Doesn’t matter you’re our rookie of the year❤️🖤
Holmberg
U got this No1 else is even close
20 people Liked This
Cap
No Off-Season training this year. But I expect you all at my wedding.
20 people reacted ❤️!
Bood
Roz!!!!
Dykstra
CAPTAIN!!
Cap!! Of course!!
Holmberg
ROYAL WEDDING!!!
Hazy
CAP!!!
Dykstra
SO THERE
Archie is Maybe In My League
May 9th 3:12 PM
Archie: I’m doing promo in LA for the next two months.
Luca: Strange.. That I also have LA on my calendar end of July
Archie: Oh isn’t that weird
Luca: Archie (¬_¬”)
Archie: Are you not happy about the Armani renewal?
Luca: I mean the money is nice..
Archie: Sooo
Luca: You can’t keep conspiring with my own agent!!
Archie: He’s my uncle first. He ships us!
Luca: WHAT?!
Archie: So do like 5 people on the internet. They’re call our ship Lucky
Luca: That doesn’t even make sense.
Archie: Lucie - is our names smashed together but it’s pronounced Lucky so they just started using that.
Luca: You’re on you’re own fantwt aren’t you?
Archie: I know you’re on hollanov twt I don’t want to hear it
I wanna go Holme T_T
May 9th 7:10 PM
Youngster
You know you can shave your beard off now that we’re out of the playoffs
Holmburgler
I think ima keep it
Pointedexter
I hate to say it, but it’s a very magnificent beard.
Holmburgler
Thx
Pointedexter
You need to cut your hair though
Youngster
Yea we’re not baseball players down with the flow 👎🏽
Agreed.
Holmburgler
U 2 Haasy?!
I hate it. It sticks out of your helmet, and looks very strange. Also you hit me in the face with your sweaty hair during shift changes once and I tasted it. I almost ended it all right there, on the bench. You will witness my immediate life ending if it happens again. You can’t do that to the fans.
Youngster
Damn double homicide
Pointedexter
MDR 🤣
Holmburgler
U all suck
Viva LaVacation!!
May 17th 7:10 PM
Pointedexter
Happy OFF SEASON BOYS!!!
Youngster
Shall we plan the party?
Who are we inviting?
Pointedexter
Where are we hosting?
Youngster
I got it all planned. I’m hosting in Toronto right before the MLH awards. Just after the cup finale. So we can really invite anyone you want. And by I’m hosting, well I mean my mom is. She’s very excited for me so she offered me the house.
Pointedexter
Can we keep it small?
What if we all invite like five people?
Holmburgler
20-25 ppl doable
Pointedexter
And we all agree Haasy wins?
Holmburgler
Obvi no contest. Ugh. 20/50 is unbeatable.
Youngster
Okay, that means he gets 20 passes on truth or dare
Pointedexter
Erik lost with a staggering 34/50
Holmburgler
Just wait until next year.
Since I’m wining next year let’s discuss stakes ( ◣∀◢)ψ
Archie is Maybe In My League
June 13th 3:56 PM
Archie: I need you to know that I’m not fucking my co-star
Luca: I didn’t think you were?
Archie: Oh okay. Good.
Luca: Why?
Archie: Fucking rumors on Twitter. And she’s not denying it or anything. “It’s good publicity” It’s bullshit is what it is.
Luca: Okay?
Archie: [LINK] I’m talking about this shit.
Luca: Oh I have TMZ blocked.
Archie: You’re so smart
Luca: And you’re not saying that to her because you don’t want to date anyone. At least that’s what’s according to buzzfeed
Archie: No, you’re miss quoting me. I said I wasn’t looking for anyone new. I only want to date one person.
Luca: Oh.
Archie: We’ll see each other in two weeks. We can do this then. Okay?
Luca: Okay
Ana is still in Australia
June 13th 6:56 PM
Luca: So I’m freaking out
Ana: ?? I’m so busy right now
Luca: I know I’m sorry but I think he wants to date me?!
Ana: Ugh you’re the worst brother ever. I’ll call you after this heat. If I fucking bail I’m blaming you
Archie is Maybe In My League
June 15th 9:45 PM
Luca: You need to stop buying me suits.
Archie: But it’s your birthday next month and a little early gift never hurt anybody. And you’ll need an outfit when you win Rookie of the year.
Luca: And the shoes?
Archie: What? They're even Centaur's colours!
Luca: They’re Christian Louboutins!!
Archie: So you know those, but still won’t wear nice clothing?
Luca: My sister said I don’t have a fashion sense because I didn’t spend enough time in the closet
Archie: LOL PLEASE Give me her number I beg
Luca: Still no <3.
Archie: I expect pictures when you’re all dressed for the awards
Luca: Okay, then you too when you’re dressed for premier.
Archie: I can't believe they’re the same day
Luca: I can. Universe hates me.
Archie: Should I fight it?
Luca: Hahahah my hero!
Young Dumb Full of Rum and 💦
June 20th 9:50 AM
Pointedexter
WHORES!!!
I can’t defend a single person in this chat.
Pointedexter
I know what you did last night
I know who you did last night
Holmburgler
🖕
Pointedexter
Fucking epic party though.
Youngster
I’m still in bed.
Pointedexter
Whose bed?!?
Youngster
Irrelevant.
Erik, I'm going to need more signs of life.
Holmburgler
Ssdfgitbndfhncj never fucking drink ing again. I’m actually running away and going back to school. I bet I can completely my doctorate in two years and never see another fucking hockey player ever again.
He’s spiralling, someone go find him.
Pointedexter
I’ll go.
Holmburgler
Don’t, not yet.
Holmburgler
I’ll find you in an hour or two. I need more sleep.
I hate when he types like this it’s scary!
Pointedexter
Erik pick up the phone
Holmburgler
Omg lemme sleep the walls r moving
Pointedexter
Thank fuck. You get two hours before I come looking.
Youngster
Sweet Sleep
Archie is Maybe In My League
June 20th 11:35 AM
Archie: I can’t believe you drunk called me. Highlight of the night
Luca: Oh my god please forget that.
Archie: No can do angel face
Luca: Annoying.
Archie: Back in Ottawa?
Luca: No, I spent the past hour trying to round up the boys for the drive back and they’re either too hungover, too embarrassed or have been kidnapped by whoever they slept with last night, or some combination of all three.
Archie: 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I knew you had a night but oh my god.
Luca: So I’m currently on the train.
Archie: And people just let you travel?
Luca: No one in Toronto genuinely cares about who’s beside them. They all want to be left alone too.
Archie: Yea I noticed that. It’s great.
Archie: When’s your flight?
Luca: Literally going home to get my suitcase going to the airport to fly back to Toronto to connect to Chicago and then Vegas.
Archie: Bad planning
Luca: Tell me about it. I’m going to nap, I have five more hours.
Archie: Sweet dreams!
Erik is So Very Gay
June 20th 9:45 PM
Luca: So, how were the mashed potatoes Erik?
Erik: Srsly 1day Lucs every1 will kno ur an asshole
Archie is Maybe In My League
June 28th 5:36 PM
Luca: [Sent 3 Images]
Luca: As promised.
Archie: It fits!!!
Archie: Is that your sister?
Archie: Woah. I need someone to pat me on the back because DAMN
Archie: Tell her she looks great!
Archie: But you look so wow.
Luca: Oh my god shut up.
Archie: No no I won’t! You look so good! The red lining, the shoes I need a moment.
Luca: Shut up.
Archie: I won’t
Archie: [Image]
Luca: Oh the shoes I see. Wait, are we wearing the same outfit, just different colours?
Archie: 😌matching
Luca: I can’t believe you, did you also really brand my belt.
Archie: Marking my property
Luca: Ignoring that for now.
Luca: You’re still coming to Ottawa after?
Archie: Four whole days.
Luca: I can’t wait.
Archie: And we will be going house hunting.
Archie: Enjoy Vegas and good luck!!
Luca: Have a good premier!
The Mountains of Thessaly
June 29th 1:07 AM
Hazy
ROOOKIE OF THE YEAR LUCA FUCKING HAAS EVERYBODY!!!!!!
Dykstra
🎉
Holmberg
🎉
Young
DESERVED!!!!!!
AND A VEZINA TROPHY FOR RECORD BREAKER WYATT HAYEEEEEEEEES
Bood
God I’m so proud I could throw up.
Old Saint Nick (Chouinard)
That’s definitely the stomach bug you got from Milo
Cap
Celebrate hard for me boys 💃
Aye aye cap (o^-')b
Cap… Thank you.
Evan
Dude, that’s so great I’m proud of you!
Cap
I like that one
Archie is Maybe In My League
July 1st 3:00 AM
Archie: Happy Birthday!!!!
Archie: See You Soon!!
Archie is Maybe In My League
July 1st 10:28 AM
Archie: Landed! Getting bags! And no one literally cares who I am. I’m moving to Canada.
Luca: Haha!! Umm I had to ask someone for a ride. I hope that’s okay?
Archie: My little passenger princess.
Luca: Omg I just haven’t had time.
Archie: I’ll just drive next time and you can just sit pretty. You seemed to really like my car last time. Or maybe it was the Jersey.
Archie: It was both.
Luca: Ugh. Anyways. I hope it’s fine.
Archie: Who is it?
Luca: Harris. I figured he’d be best since you apparently met him in New York?!
Archie: MY FELLOW HAB!
Luca: What?!
Archie: Nothing. Harris is fine. Got my bag coming now.
Nerds of The Round Table
July 2nd 7:08 PM
If this gets released literally anywhere I will kill you and then myself.
Don’t watch in public, don't let anyone see it outside of this chat until it’s on streaming platforms.
Promise?
Connor Young
What?!
Lisa Hayes
I’m intrigued so I promise 🤞 I’ll keep the rest inline also
Thank you Lisa
[Link to large .mov file]
Lisa Hayes
I love you so much. I will leave my husband.
Wyatt Hayes
HEY!!!
Wyatt Hayes
Wait nvm I get it. Luca you’re the goat
Connor Young
I’m suddenly so busy. Luca the plug!!!