Chapter Text
[Verb. To forgive- stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.]
***
“Tim?” Lucy says without looking up from the book that was in front of her. She hears him shift on the stool, and feels his eyes on her.
“Hmm?” He says. Lucy takes a deep breath and finally looks up. He’s watching her closely as if trying to figure out her next move.
Lucy opens her mouth to speak and then shuts it. She wants to tell him something, she wants to say the three words that she knows he’s been waiting for but he can’t quite get them out.
“I—uh can we stop for the night?” She says deflating a little. Her shoulders fall and Tim turns on the stool to face her. He has concern written all over his face, and she hates that she’s the one that put it there.
“Sure.” He says and he shuts the book in front of him. “Are you okay?” Lucy nods and shuts her own book. To be fair, they had been studying non stop for the last three hours. Lucy wanted to get in as much as possible.
“I’m just tired.” She says. Tim hums softly and stands up and offers his hand out to her. She takes it and he leads her over to the couch. They both sit down and Lucy instantly gravitates towards Tim. She lays her head on his chest and sighs softly.
“That’s understandable.” Tim says. “But there’s something else bothering you.” Lucy blows out a breath and picks at some lint on his shirt. Tim knows her like the back of his hand, of course he would know something was wrong.
The thing was there wasn’t anything wrong—not really. She wants to say the three words that were on. The tip of her tongue.
She did—
She just couldn’t get them out.
I forgive you.
Why couldn’t she get those simple words out.
“It’s just studying for a exam like this is a lot. And what if it’s all for nothing?” Lucy asks. “What if there’s an unknown force that will—”
“Stop.” Tim says. “You are going to pass Lucy and you are going to be an amazing sergeant.”
“You are just saying that because you love me.” Lucy says before she can stop herself. Tim freezes and she looks up at him. She knows she’s not wrong. She loves him too—those were three other words she hasn’t said to him yet.
“True.” He says. “But I’m not saying it just because of that. Im saying it because you deserve this and you have worked hard to get to where you are. And I can’t wait to see you grow as a sergeant.”
“Mmm.” Lucy hums softly cuddling more into Tim. “You have a lot confidence in me.”
“Of course I do.” He mutters. “I always have.” Lucy smiles to herself knowing that is true and Tim’s love and support has never wavered.
Maybe he got lost for a little bit. Maybe he broke up with her because he thought she deserved better.
But she knows his love would never waver. It would never falter. Even if they were apart for some time.
“Thank you.” She says softly. Tim hums softly and presses a kiss to the top of her head. She has so much more to say to him. She just didn’t quite have the words yet.
But she would—one day.
***
Lucy looks up from her book and sees Tim’s eyes on her. She ducks her head down for a few seconds before she’s looking back at him.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He says and then shakes his head. “You are going to be a great sergeant you know that right?”
“Why because I like bossing people around?” She asks teasingly. Tim rolls his eyes and reaches over to shut her book. She’s about to protest but he cuts her off with a kiss.
“Yes and you are a great cop. You are a great leader and you know how to lead and teach.” Tim says softly.
“I didn’t do it with Ridley.” Lucy says shuddering a little. The memory of Seth flashing in her mind and it’s something she wants to forget.
“Ridley is an outlier.” Tim says. “He was hopeless from the beginning but that’s not on you. He made it hard for himself. He chose to lie and take advantage of you.”
“Still.” Lucy says. “He was under my command and I-I didn’t see it.” Tim sighs softly and lifts her chin to look at him.
“It’s still not your fault Luce.” He says. “You gave him chance after chance.” Lucy sighs and turns away from Tim for a moment her eyes going to the book and then back to Tim.
“Did you ever think I would fail? As a rookie?” She asks. Tim straightens up a bit and then scoots closer to her.
“No.”
“Not even once? Weren’t you about to wash me out?” She asks. She remembers her training with Tim quite well. She remembers it all even the parts she wants to forget. Because despite everything—he did help mold her into the cop she was today and she would forever be thankful for that.
“Yes. But I didn’t actually want to. You-you were growing on me.” Tim says avoiding Lucy’s eyes. “You somehow worked your way into my life and as hesitant as I was.” He trails off, and Lucy gets a warm feeling deep inside of her. She always respected Tim no matter what but to know he believed in her back then.
“Do you regret it? Training me?” She asks. “Don’t you wish you could have had Jackson or—”
“Do I regret you?” Tim asks. “Never. I wouldn’t change our story for anything. We hit a few rough patches but—”
“We made it through.” She finishes for him. He nods his head and tucks some hair behind her ear.
“Do you regret it? Me?” He asks and he actually sounds nervous—like he really thinks Lucy will say yes. But she doesn’t regret him or anything that happened. Because it was their story. It was what made them—them.
“Never.” Lucy mutters and once again those three little words. The ones that would heal them, the one that would stitch the last broken part are on the tip of her tongue.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
“That’s good.” Tim says. “I’m sorry for everything I put you through. I’m sorry for breaking your heart.”
“You don’t have to do this.” Lucy says feeling her heart pounding in her chest. “I know—”
“I do.” Tim says. “I put you through so much Lucy. I made you believe I didn’t want to be with you when—that’s all I want. I was so up in my head.”
“I know that Tim.” Lucy says gently. “Stop being so hard on yourself babe. You have been working hard and I have seen all the progress.”
“I still hate what I did to you.” Tim says hanging his head a little. “That will never go away. At least for awhile.”
Lucy swallows down all the words she wants to say including the ones she knows will heal Tim inside and out. And hopefully will make him stop regretting everything, hopefully it will make him want to move forward and not backwards.
“Well.” She says and she lifts his head up so he’s looking at him. “We are on our back right? You have stitched us back together.”
“I tried. I don’t ever want to live without you Lucy. My life is better when you are around.” He says. “It always has been.”
“You are an amazing man Tim Bradford.” Lucy says sliding closer to him so she’s practically in his lap. He puts his arms around her and tightens his hold.
“You are pretty amazing too.” He mutters. She sighs happily—she really didn’t think she would ever have this again. Ever.
And especially with Tim but—
I forgive you. I forgive you.
“Hey Tim?” She says softly because she will say those words. She’s getting closer and closer to saying them.
“Hmm?”
“Take me to bed.” She mutters and maybe it’s a risky move falling back into bed with Tim but—
Tim stands up and pulls her with him and doesn’t waste a second leading her back to the bedroom.
Those words would come. And she would say them and it would be perfect. But for right now—
Tim’s lips find hers and he kicks the door shut.
This was all she needed.
***
“Tim.” Lucy says and she pokes at his shoulder. He’s lounging on the couch watching a rerun of a baseball game. The volume is low so she could focus on studying but—
“What?” Tim says not taking his eyes off of the tv. “Do you need help?”
“No.”
“Then what’s wrong?” Tim takes his eyes off the tv to look at her. She takes a deep breath and rolls back her shoulders.
“You know how I said I hadn’t completely forgiven you yet?” She asks. Tim raises his eyebrows and nods his head.
“Sure.”
“And you have been helping me study, and we— you know act like a couple.” She says. “At least when we are alone.”
“Sure.” Tim says again looking more and more confused. “Do you want to stop—”
“No!” She says quickly. “I just have something to tell you.” Tim doesn’t say anything at first but he turns turn his whole body to look at her.
“What?”
“You mean everything to me and I appreciate how hard you have been working to get my trust back. I appreciate you.” Lucy says. “And I will forever be grateful for you.”
“Okay.” Tim says his face falling a little. “Where are you going with this Lucy?” Lucy takes another deep breath and then lets it out. She’s about to say three little words that will be the missing puzzle piece.
“I forgive you.” She says and the smile that lights up Tim’s face she knows everything will be okay. They will be patched up and stitched back together.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.