Chapter Text
Josh had spent years mastering the art of pretending.
He was good at it, he had to be. Growing up in their small, conservative town, where people whispered behind closed doors and looked at anything different with suspicion, he had learned early on that some things were better left unsaid. So, he kept his secret even when it burned inside him. Even when it felt like a weight pressing against his ribs every time he was around Tyler.
Especially then.
Now, as he sat in the backseat of Mark's SUV, watching the trees blur past on their way to the cabin, that weight was heavier than ever. Tyler sat in the passenger seat, laughing at something Chris had said, his head tilted back, sunlight catching in the strands of his slightly grown out brown hair. His wedding ring glinted on his finger, a reminder of the life he had built, the life Josh had never been a part of. Not in the way he wanted.
Five years married. A baby on the way. Josh swallowed against the familiar sting in his throat and forced a smirk, joining in the conversation just enough to keep up the act. He had done it for years. What was one more weekend?
“Dude, we’re getting wrecked this weekend,” Mark declared from the driver’s seat, pounding his fist against the steering wheel. “You all love to bitch about your day jobs and your wives not letting you go out, so now you all owe me.”
Chris whooped in agreement, already twisting in his seat to grab another beer from the cooler at his feet.
Josh glanced at Tyler, waiting for him to roll his eyes, to make some sarcastic comment about how they weren’t kids anymore, but he didn’t. Instead, Tyler just laughed, shaking his head.
“Hell yeah,” he muttered under his breath, almost to himself.
Josh frowned. Something was different. Tyler was always the responsible one. He wasn’t an ass about it, but he never let himself get too relaxed, too unhinged. He’d always been a tightly wound guy, a planner, the one who made sure everyone got home safe after a night out. But there was something about the way he was carrying himself now. His posture was just a little too relaxed and his expression looser than usual, like he was trying not to think.
Josh knew that look. He had seen it before, years ago. When Tyler was drowning in his own darkness and refused to let anyone pull him out. The memory twisted in his gut.
“You good, man?” he asked, keeping his voice low so the others wouldn’t hear.
Tyler turned to him, lips curving into a small, lazy grin. “Yeah, I’m good.”
Josh didn’t believe him, but he nodded anyway. Because that was what they did. They pretended, grinned and bared it.
And this weekend, Josh had a bad feeling that Tyler was about to do something reckless.
He just didn’t know that he would be the one Tyler was reckless with.