Chapter Text
SIRIUS
Tuesday 4th January 1972
Sirius didn’t stay with his cousins once they were on the train. As soon as his parents were out of sight, Sirius slipped away from the sisters and concealed himself in the mass of returning Hogwarts students. He heard Bellatrix call out from behind him but he ignored her resolutely.
Since Christmas Day, Sirius had felt like a shell of himself. He hadn’t been allowed to leave his room until the morning they were set to return to school, and had received his meals on trays from Kreacher twice a day. Regulus had snuck into Sirius’ room every night and had spent his days trying to coax Sirius out of the mental fortress he had formed after the events of Christmas Day.
Sirius had barely slept and knew he must look terrible, his face gaunt and colourless with large purple smudges beneath his eyes.
Now, he listlessly trudged down the train corridor, looking into each compartment, searching for a certain black haired boy.
Sirius was so distracted that he accidentally slammed into someone, sending them both stumbling.
“Sorry, I-” Sirius’ apology died in his mouth as he realised who he’d hit. Severus Snape stood across from Sirius, his greasy hair hanging over his eyes, a cruel sneer on his face.
“Watch it, Black.” Snape hissed, “Surprised your family let you back here after the disappointment you’ve caused them,” Snivellus leered at him.
“Get lost, Snivellus,” Sirius spat, shoving past him to continue his search for James. Snape let him go past, but as Sirius reached the end of the corridor the greasy-haired boy called out to him,
“You’ll get what’s coming to you someday soon, Black! Just you wait!”
“Oh no, I’m terrified, ” Sirius replied sarcastically. Secretly however, Snape’s words left an uneasy feeling in his stomach. But he pushed it away and continued looking for his friend.
Eventually, he came across James, sitting alone, staring out of the window. Sirius slid the door open and slipped inside. James immediately looked up at him, beaming. The smile slid from his face as he took Sirius in.
“What happened?” He asked immediately, instinctively reaching for Sirius. Sirius slumped down beside the window, across from James.
“I’m fine.” He said, his voice hollow. James frowned and wrung his hands. He moved closer to Sirius so their knees were pressed together and reached out, placing a hand on Sirius’ shoulder.
“Look, I know we haven’t known each other all that long, but you’re genuinely my best mate. And it’s really important to me that you know that you can talk to me. About anything. You can trust me, ok? I’m here for you, Sirius. You just have to let me in,” James’ eyes were big, brown and sincere, like a deer , Sirius thought vaguely. They were honest and Sirius found he did trust him.
“It’s just-” He tried, but stopped, unable to force the words out. He desperately avoided looking at James, “Where’s Peter?” He asked abruptly.
James sighed, his eyes shining with worry,
“He’s gone to find the trolley lady, I think.” He responded. Sirius nodded shortly but said nothing.
They lapsed into silence and Sirius hoped for a moment that James would let the conversation go. But no. A moment later, he tried again.
“Okay, how about this. You don’t have to tell me, I’ll just ask questions and you can say yes or no, or just shake or nod your head?”
Sirius considered this. He thought it might actually feel good to open up to James, it would be different from talking to Regulus. Regulus was in that house with him, experiencing the same things, but James wasn’t, James would see it in a way that only an outsider could, and maybe that was what Sirius needed - an outsider perspective to tell him if he was overreacting or not.
“Okay, yeah,” Sirius breathed, sitting up more and leaning closer to James. James looked shocked but quickly recovered, smiling warmly.
“Okay, good. Right, did something happen over Christmas?” He asked. Sirius looked up and met his eyes, then slowly nodded. James exhaled, “To Regulus?” Sirius shook his head, “To you?” Sirius nodded.
James hesitated, he took Sirius’ hands in his. It wasn’t a romantic hold, not the way most hand-holding seemed to be, it was strong and comforting and steady. It promised safety.
“Did they hurt you?” James’ voice was quiet.
Sirius took a deep breath and gave a stilted nod.
“Physically?”
Sirius nodded again.
James winced, “I’m sorry, Sirius. That’s awful. Family isn’t supposed to hurt you. You know that, right?”
Sirius managed to find his voice, “I sort of deserved it though, I talked back to my fath-”
“No.” James gripped his hands tighter, “No, listen here, it doesn’t matter what you did, you never deserve to be hurt like that. Ever. Family is supposed to keep you safe from pain.”
“Well, mine’s not very good at that.” Sirius felt oncoming tears but harshly shoved them away. He would not cry. He wasn’t weak. There wasn’t room for weakness in the House of Black.
“That’s why you’ve got me, then.” James said firmly, “From now on, I’ll be your family. I’ve always wanted a sibling, anyway. I’ll be here for you, okay? And Pete, too. And maybe even Remus, when he’s around.”
Sirius didn’t know how to respond to that, he was so taken aback by the kindness of James Potter that he had been rendered completely speechless. So, instead of speaking, Sirius threw his arms around his friend.
The pair sat there, clinging tightly to one another.
In that moment, Sirius Black felt his soul connect to James Potter’s. In that moment, Sirius knew that the only thing that could ever break the bond of family and friendship between them was death itself, and even then, they would live on in memory. Sirius knew that he would spend the rest of his life by James’ side. He would protect James the way he did Regulus. Because James was his brother now, too.
✴︎ ☾ ✴︎
Sunday 30th January 1972
Ever since the train, Sirius and James had been closer than ever. They had taken to sneaking into each other’s beds at night and staying up for hours, confiding in one another and scoffing down the sweets sent by James’ mum.
Sirius could tell that Peter was jealous of this new friendship, but while James tried valiantly to include Peter in most things - their nighttime meetings were sacred.
It was during one of these nightly visits, in the early hours of Sunday morning at the end of January, that James had an idea.
They had fallen asleep somewhere around 11pm and woken up at 2:30 in the morning, and had immediately dug out James’ snack stash, disregarding the time.
Sirius was lounging at the foot of James’ bed, his back resting on one of the bedposts, a half-eaten Cauldron Cake in his hands and James was stretched out, back against the headboard and his feet propped up on Sirius’ knee, reading a quidditch magazine.
James abruptly sat up properly, hitting his head on the headboard.
“You alright?” Sirius asked, through stifled laughter. James shot him a playful glare,
“Stop laughing, Black, I’m fine.” He rubbed the back of his head, wincing. Sirius snorted. “Anyway, I’ve just had a brill idea,”
Sirius sat up too, both boys leaning closer to one another.
“Go on then,” Sirius said eagerly.
“Right, so…” James began to divulge his extremely complicated and absolutely genius idea.
Later that morning, at an appropriate time, James and Sirius woke Peter up excitedly and piled onto his bed to let him in on the plan. He looked thrilled at being included and for once didn’t complain about breaking school rules, admitting that it was indeed a great idea.
The three of them immediately began planning and they estimated that their prank would take about a week to be put properly into action.
Buzzing with excitement, the trio went down to breakfast and as soon as they sat down, they pressed their heads together and started whispering.
“Something you’d like to share with the class, boys?” Marlene McKinnon asked from across the table. James, Sirius and Peter broke apart and stared at her. She was sat beside Mary Macdonald who was looking resolutely at her porridge, her cheeks bright red. Marlene was looking expectantly at the three boys.
Despite all being Gryffindor first years, Sirius had never really spoken to Marlene or Mary. They were both roommates and friends with Lily Evans, who steadfastly hated James and Sirius with a passion that seemed to strengthen every time she laid eyes upon them.
Mary was a muggleborn and Sirius privately thought it was rather obvious. She asked questions in class that her Wizard-raised classmates already knew the answers to and was awed by simple magical items that Sirius and James had been raised around. Despite this, Sirius got the impression that she was actually rather intelligent. She was rather giggly and tended to laugh at most things Sirius did and said, which pleased him and encouraged him to crack jokes and mess around in classes, knowing she would turn pink and laugh brightly.
Marlene, on the other hand, was half-blood and much more adept on a broomstick than she was in the classroom. She was defiant and opinionated and Sirius found that he often clashed with her. They were both so outspoken and when they had differing opinions in classes, they often found themselves arguing from opposite sides of the room.
Sirius frowned at Marlene, now, annoyed that she was interrupting their planning session.
“Don’t be nosy, McKinnon,” Sirius said dismissively. Marlene raised her eyebrows incredulously,
“Me, nosy? That’s rich, Black, coming from the biggest gossip I’ve ever bloody met.”
Sirius scoffed, offended,
“I don’t gossip, I’m not a girl. I have civilized conversations in which I gain knowledge,” He replied haughtily. Marlene laughed,
“Merlin, you’re so pompous.”
Sirius rolled his eyes and turned back to James. But Marlene wasn’t finished, “Oi, Black! Really, what are you whispering about?”
“None of your business, McKinnon,” Sirius snapped.
“Sharing is caring,” She retorted.
“Both of you, stop.” Lily Evans said firmly, taking a seat beside Mary. Marlene’s attention was immediately drawn to her.
“Where’ve you been? You weren’t in the dorm when we woke up. We wanted to give you presents.”
Lily’s eyes flickered over Sirius’ shoulder to the Slytherin table.
“Erm- Sev and I went for a walk. He wanted to wish me a happy birthday.”
Mary pulled a disgusted face, “Honestly, Lily, I don’t know why you bother hanging out with him, he’s gross .”
“No he’s not!” Lily’s face flushed angrily. “He’s my best friend!” She made to stand up again. James reached out a hand to stop her,
“Happy birthday, Evans!” He beamed. Lily stopped, completely taken aback.
“Um?” She eyed him warily, “Thank you, Potter.”
“Any plans for your big day, then?” James asked. Lily’s eyes narrowed,
“Why?”
“Just curious,” James shrugged, “We could have a party in the common room if you want? You could save me a dance and everything,” He grinned cockily and Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust.
“No thanks, Potter. In case you’ve forgotten, I don’t like you.” She looked him up and down with distaste, “I wouldn’t dance with you even if it was my last night alive.”
With that, Lily turned around and strode out of the hall. James slumped in his chair. Across the room, at the Slytherin table, Snape watched her go, then quickly scrambled to his feet and hurried after her.
James, Sirius and Peter continued to talk about their prank throughout the rest of the day and even visited the library to do some research for it. By the time they got back to their dorm that night, they had a well thought out plan. It was very involved and would no doubt be the best thing they’d ever done.
The three of them talked for a while longer before splitting off to get ready for bed. Sirius quickly pulled on his black silk pyjamas and hurried over to the window seat, curling up and pressing his forehead against the cold glass. Snow coated the grass outside and it shimmered in the early evening light.
Sirius had taken up this position every evening since their return to Hogwarts, watching eagerly for Remus to no avail. He had missed his friend more than he’d expected to. He missed Remus’ calming presence, and the way he seemed to understand certain things about Sirius without them having to be voiced.
“There’s a bird watching club run by Professor Kettleburn, you know,” Peter stepped out of the bathroom, his damp hair dripping water onto his pyjamas. Sirius looked back at him, immediately annoyed,
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re always looking out of that window,” Peter said, defensively, “You needn’t look for the birds by yourself when there’s a whole club!”
“I’m not looking at birds!” Sirius snapped, rolling his eyes. Peter drew back, looking hurt. James stepped between them,
“It’s alright, Pete,” He patted Peter’s shoulder, consolingly, then turned to Sirius, “Lay off, Black.”
Sirius fought the urge to roll his eyes again.
“What’s he doing then?” Peter muttered sulkily as he clambered into bed. James smirked knowingly at Sirius, who glared back at him.
“He’s not bird watching, Petey, he’s Remus watching,”
“Shut up, Potter!” Sirius shouted, levitating a pillow and sending it soaring across the room into James’ face. James burst out laughing and a moment later, Sirius did too.
They made eye contact and started laughing harder, both of them doubling over, holding their stomachs. Sirius flung his head back, resting it on the stone wall of the window alcove, his laughter becoming breathless. He tilted his head to the side and glanced out of the window.
He froze.
There.
Trudging through the snow were two figures, both wrapped in warm clothes. Sirius sat up, quickly, pressing his face to the glass. He couldn’t properly see Remus behind the weird short jumper-cloak hybrid that he was wearing. It had a hood lined with what looked like fur that covered his face completely. But Sirius knew it was him.
“What is it? Finally spotted a wild Remus?” James teased.
“Yeah!” Sirius breathed, watching as Remus followed Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall into the tunnel. Once they were out of sight, Sirius stood up and made his way over to bed. “I’ll go and see him tomorrow,” He said, unable to wipe the smile from his face.
James settled himself on Sirius’ bed too and grinned at him,
“Wanna play snap?”
✴︎ ☾ ✴︎
Monday 31st January 1972
At lunch time the next day, Sirius pulled his Gryffindor scarf from his school bag and hurried out of the castle into the grounds. His feet sunk into the snow as he jogged towards Hagrid’ hut but he didn’t let it slow him down.
When he reached the front steps of the hut, he was out of breath. He could hear voices inside and recognized Remus’ instantly, followed by Hagrid. Sirius eagerly raised his fist and knocked. Silence fell inside the hut. He heard heavy footsteps.
The door opened just far enough that Sirius could see Hagrid but Remus was completely obscured from view. Hagrid frowned down at him.
“Not today, Black.” He said, firmly. Something about the tone of his voice worried Sirius. Was something wrong with Remus? Sirius accidentally overslept that morning so he hadn’t seen him as he left the tunnel.
“Come on, Hagrid, I haven’t seen him since before Christmas.” Sirius pleaded, trying to lift the overly sombre mood. Hagrid shook his head,
“Yer not to come lookin’ for him anymore. I’ll be reportin’ ye to Dumbledore if I see ye hangin’ ‘round here again,” Hagrid started to shut the door but Sirius lunged forward, stopping him.
“You can’t do that!” He insisted, “Remus wants to see me!” To prove his point, Sirius tried to look over Hagrid’s shoulder to find his friend, “Remus! Remus, it’s me! Make him let me in! Remus!”
“Sirius.” Remus’ voice was quiet and hoarse. Something was wrong.
“Remus! Come on, let me in, then!” Sirius felt worry curl in his stomach. There was a long silence.
“Sorry Sirius. I- I don’t want you to see- you can’t come in anymore,”
Sirius froze, shocked.
“Don’t want me to see what?” He demanded, trying to bodily shove Hagrid to the side. He was completely unsuccessful, as Hagrid easily held him back with one hand.
“Go away Sirius,” Remus rasped, “Please.” He sounded like he was going to cry. Sirius recoiled. Something was terribly wrong.
“Remus-”
“You heard ‘im, Black. Go on, back to the castle with ye!”
With that, Hagrid shut the door firmly in Sirius’ face. Sirius heard a lock click from inside.
Reeling, he turned and began the walk back to the castle, his feet on autopilot.
Something was definitely going on. Something must have happened over Christmas. What hadn’t Remus wanted him to see? Sirius needed to know what was wrong. What had made Remus turn him away?
James noticed Sirius’ mood immediately as he slumped into the seat between him and Peter at the Gryffindor table.
“What are you doing here?” James asked immediately, “Why aren’t you with Remus?”
Sirius frowned at the empty plate in front of him.
“He wouldn’t let me in,” He mumbled, “I think something’s happened. I’m worried about him.”
“Maybe he just doesn’t want to see you,” Peter suggested through a mouthful of egg sandwich. Sirius shot him a glare.
“Did he sound off?” James asked. Sirius nodded, biting the inside of his cheek fretfully. “Right then,” James sat up properly, “We’ll just have to do some detective work then.”
Sirius looked at him, taken aback.
“What?”
Peter frowned in confusion and James grinned,
“Sounds like we need to launch an investigation, lads.”