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II didn’t know what to say, he didn’t know if he was meant to say anything in that moment; aside from watching. Maybe Sleep didn’t want him to say anything, but to watch, to feel the emotions swirling around in his chest, to feel. So he did, he did the one thing he never allowed himself to do, never let himself feel or act upon. Instead of speaking, mumbling and grumbling out a string of words in hopes it’d tie together whatever was going on his stomach, he just sat and listened.
His eyes were like knives, digging into the others flesh as they spoke and laughed. IV and III were so close to one another, pressing their hips together as they laughed in sync, yet with different pitches. They were like a packaged deal, always doing things together and causing chaos with one another, II should have seen it coming. Yet he didn’t expect it when it happened.
So now he simply sat and watched, watching the two people who made his heart flutter and twist talk sweetly to one another, leaving lingering touches and longing stares from whenever the other wasn’t looking. It was sickeningly sweet, and II didn’t know why that made his heart flutter so hard. He hated the feeling, he hated how he loved the two of them so badly, and the fact that they were falling for one another, made his heart burst with more love. He didn’t feel jealous, or angry, heck he felt relieved, he felt whole.
He’d never felt so at home before. So at peace with the idea of loving three people, or sharing the rest of his life with them, sharing sacred moments with them. He loved the idea of it all, but it scared him at the same time. He wasn’t taught how to manage a love life like this? Heck he barely even knew how to properly manage a monogamous relationship, how would this work?
Him and Vessel had their ups and downs, but they always found a way to fix it up because they felt so at home with each other, they were two pieces of a whole. Yet since then II never felt whole. He’d feel it, but he always felt like something was missing. It hadn’t been until III came along, chirping away and acting like a little fox. Prancing around, always wanting to put a smile on their faces. He’d dance around the kitchen with his headphones on, singing to the top of his lungs in such an off-key just to get a smile out of II or Vessel.
Even then, when II watched as III and Vessel got closer, he felt so at peace with it; and when IV came along, immediately matching up with III, two peas in a pod with nothing but pure chaos in their minds. Together they shared a single brain cell, but it never failed to cause Vessel or II to smile or laugh, to feel pure fear or worry but happiness always settled in their hearts.
It made II feel sick, made his stomach twist and turn, butterflies flooding his insides every time he even spared a glance over too III and IV. His cheeks would go hot when they’d stare for too long, or when IV would make him breakfast and bring up to his room, just so they could sit together and talk. Or when III had shared his first Christmas with the trio, making each of them all a small crocheted gift of scarves, not to mention he was all flustered, pink in the face and ears as he stuttered and fidgeted around when he was about to give them their gifts. He was nervous, but the reactions from the other three had made III so happy he was jumping around, giving them all their own tight hug.
Every time he’d sit on the kitchen counter and help III bake, well III did the baking, II would just lick the batter off the spoon once he finished. But III always had this soft smile on his face, he never fidgeted or seemed to hyper when he baked, so concentrated on his work that the most he ever did was fidget when he waited for his goods to finish baking. II always loved to sit in the kitchen with him, either in silence or talking about whatever came to mind, III never minded. Heck when II didn’t know what to say III would ramble about tv shows or his bass guitar that needed new adjustments, sometimes he’d tell II about some drum accessories he saw online and that II would like. It was always so peaceful and sweet during the moments, like the world stopped just for the two of them, just so they could talk and bake.
So now, when he sat at the kitchen table, hands sitting atop the keys of his laptop, yet his eyes were staring over the screen at the pair that stood at the sink. Working together to do the dishes, yet it seemed more like playing with the water than actually cleaning. It was a sight younger II would have thought he’d never be alive to witness before. Or at least never be allowed to witness.
Besides him, Vessel was half asleep on the table, arms crossed and used as a pillow for his head. He looked so peaceful, just letting himself listen to the laughs of his lovers while taking a moment to rest. All after a warm nice meal.
The sight alone had II’s eyes glazing over, just staring at the three of them. It made his heart twist and flutter, his mind slowly settling on the idea that this was okay. He was allowed to feel these feelings of love, he was allowed to fall for the three before him, allowed to share his past and his own heavy feelings. He was allowed to be vulnerable, allowed to have bad days and good ones, allowed to feel loved.
So he smiled.
He watched III and IV laugh once more, their faces red and eyes brimming with tears as they knocked their foreheads together. Then he looked over to Vessel, whose face held a small little smile despite the sleep that tugged at him.
His heart felt whole, like every piece he’d been missing finally clicked together.