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They hadn’t labeled this new thing going on between them.
Hadn’t discussed the change at all really.
They shifted so easily from being the most important people to one another, best friends, to this new lip-locked pattern so easily, Kaoru couldn’t remember exactly how it happened. It was such a natural progression, he was worried if he focused too intently on the changes he’d find that he had in fact made it all up.
Discussion on the topic, discussion of any possible non-platonic, “romantic” feelings one may hold for the other seemed unnecessary. Especially since they were both to be on the same page. At least Kaoru hoped they were.
From his perspective, everything appeared to be unspokenly clear, their feelings and goals on the situation were mutual, they were bound to have progressed to a more serious relationship at some point in their lives. And if Kaoru felt any distress about them not being on the same page, he was planning to keep it to himself. The fear of rejection, and the danger of a ruined decade-long friendship was not worth the risk, and was enough to keep Kaoru quiet.
He was pretty sure they both knew what the healthy communication option was. However, they both seemed to have rejected it, and both had privately chosen to leave the excitement of their new relationship unspoken between them.
And that was fine.
Kaoru actually preferred living in his own anxieties and insecurities.
That had been the plan. Allowing their newly discovered romantic and lustful feelings for each other to naturally grow; Waxing and waning naturally on the outlined boundaries of their previous platonic friendship.
The plan was to keep the new parts of their relationship secured away, behind locked bedroom doors, hidden away in shadows on nights where they skated alone, in hidden glances and stares during school hours.
At least that was the plan, until Kaoru's life took a common turn and everything went to shit.
“I think you gave me an STD.” Kaoru blurted out, not looking Kojiro in the eye.
They were both lounging on the floor of Kojiro’s bedroom floor, spending their Friday afternoon like they usually did when the weather didn’t permit them to skate.
“-I’m sorry,” Kojiro sputtered, caught off guard by the blunt phrasing that interrupted the companionable silence that they had been sitting in for the last ten minutes. “What was that?”
Kojiro rolled over onto his stomach, placing the phone that he had been precariously positioned over his face, on the ground, and propped his chin on the back of his hand. He attempted to angle his head in a manner that would allow him to catch Kaoru’s eye, but Kaoru kept his eyes glued to his laptop screen.
“I’m pretty sure you gave me an STD,” he repeated.
Kaoru tried to do everything in his power to feign disinterest, he continued to focus on his laptop, balancing it on his crossed legs. Despite his best efforts however, even he heard the tell-tale sign of his anxiety in his slightly shaky voice. He thought that after two days of stewing in his own thoughts, and allowing his machinations to fester and brew in his mind he’d be better at hiding his own worries, but alas.
He had chosen to wait until he had calmed some of his nerves on the matter, and had enough time to complete some research, before he decided himself ready to broach the topic with Kojiro.
Those preparations however, seemed to have been short of successful in concealing his anxieties. Though having not looked up, Kaoru could see concern blatantly present on Kojiro’s face out of the corner of his eye. Kaoru decided to ignore Kojiro’s unease and chose to continue with his prepared script.
“I’m not sure exactly what it is,” he admitted, as he turned his laptop around so it faced Kojiro so he could see the webpage Kaoru had pulled up.
Kojiro’s face shifted from worry to bewilderment, his eyes widened as he attempted to take in the large amount of small print on the screen. The medical journal Kaoru had pulled up was one of various he had spent the last 36 hours scouring over, searching for anything that would have given him any clear answer.
“I’ve tried to narrow it down,” Kaoru continued, “but none of them fit my exact symptoms, so I am still not sure exactly which one you gave me.” He hoped his voice sounded as removed and nonchalant, and didn’t reflect the stress that Kaoru drowned in.
“Woah, woah, woah.” Kojiro spluttered. “You’re gonna have to slow down for me there, Pinky.”
Kojiro swung his legs around as he wriggled his body into a sitting position that mirrored Kaoru’s. “STD!? You think you have an STD?”
“Yes,” Kaoru bit out, bristling at the childish nickname. He finally permitted himself to look the imbecile in the eyes, lifting his gaze to glare.
“And if you’d have been paying attention, I was just beginning to explain, that I can’t seem to figure out exactly what ‘idiot disease’ it is you infected me with, so some help would be appreciated,” he finished, hoping that his admittance to not being able to do something was hidden in his unimpressive insult.
Kaoru feared Kojiro hadn’t paid attention to a word he said, since his face didn’t change out of the confused state it had shifted to.
“You can’t have an STD,” Kojiro stated. “We haven’t even done… you know,” he fumbled, “… it .”
“Eloquent as ever Kojiro,” Kaoru droned, “but had you an ounce of intelligence in the empty big head of yours, you’d know that penetrative sex isn’t the only way to pass along infection.”
Kaoru felt his face flush, as blood slowly traveled up his neck and settled under his cheeks, beginning to paint his usual alabaster skin a splotchy pink. He found himself struggling to play the part of mature and unaffected with Kojiro insisting to be a dumbass.
He had considered himself prepared to discuss matters of intercourse, having hyped himself up for this conversation. He seemed to have overlooked and forgotten Kojiro’s instinct to act with crassness and childishness.
Even if he ignored Kojiro’s choice of words though, Kaoru feared that he’d be unable to acknowledge the newer component of their relationship straight faced. He would undoubtedly continue to feel like the floor had been swept away from under him.
Kojiro be damned anyway.
For the most part, the two of them had been moving at a snail’s pace these last two weeks, their physical relationship shifting from touchy friends, to overly handsy more-than-friends.
A snail’s pace for them at least. While their progression may be fast for some, considering both of their knacks for jumping head first into all situations, they were taking their time with this. Despite their eagerness, and both of their excitement to get as close as possible to the other, they had done very little more than make out. On more recent occasions, they had graduated to heavy petting and drying humping, finishing more familiar with the slopes of each other’s bodies, and embarrassingly sticky pants.
They’d only ventured underneath clothes on two instances so far. The first had been a week ago, during an early Saturday morning, Kojiro having chosen to spend the night the evening before, not wanting to take the five minute trek to his own house. Waking up Saturday morning, Kaoru found himself curled around Kojiro’s body, ankle locked around Kojiro’s calf, and hand grasped around his bicep.
Waking up entangled together was not a new part of their relationship. They’d always preferred to share beds, and after years of sleepovers they’d long gotten over any awkwardness that may be present from waking up clinging to the other.
What was new was the early morning kiss Kaoru had come to expect after nights spent together. The morning kiss quickly progressed and Kaoru found himself sitting upon Kojiro’s thighs, straddling his lap, as the larger teen leant against the headboard of Kaoru’s bed. While Kaoru tangled his hands in the other’s hair, Kojiro slipped his hand into the loose boxer briefs Kaoru preferred to sleep in, and began to jerk Kaoru off. With his lips and teeth attached to Kojiro’s neck, Kaoru quickly came with Kojiro following shortly after with his own orgasm, falling victim to Kaoru’s squirming and hair pulling.
The second time they’d traveled below the belt Kaoru had initiated. In a rare circumstance they found themselves completely alone in the Nanjo household, Kojiro’s parents both at work and his twin sisters, Aimi and Airi, still at their cram school session. Taking advantage of the empty home, they leapt at each other the second Kojiro’s bedroom door was closed.
Kaoru finished embarrassingly quickly, grinding himself against Kojiro’s thigh as Kojiro latched onto a puckered nipple. Before his nerves could cloud his post-orgasmic confidence, Kaoru decided to try something new. Moving into the space between Kojiro’s knees, Kaoru quickly wrenched the other’s pants open, tucking his briefs under his scrotum, and pulling him out. He’d been thinking of doing this since before he and Kojiro first kissed, and for even longer than he was willing to admit.
He looked up at Kojiro to check for any objections, finding none, Kaoru eagerly pulled Kojiro into his mouth and began bobbing his head, determined to suck Kojiro’s annoying (endearing,) go-lucky personality out of his dick.
After Kojiro finished, the two cleaned up and returned to their post school routine that included doing homework, banter, and not addressing the shared orgasms.
At the time, Kaoru hadn’t had the brain function to worry about much at all. He counted himself successful in his endeavor, having successfully given his first blowjob. Having made Kojiro come and the subsequent lack of complaint he considered his skills in oral sex decent.
Everything had been fine.
The worry didn’t truly start until two mornings after the fact.
“Wouldn’t I need to have an STD to give you one?” Kojiro rebutted, bringing Kaoru back into the moment.
Kaoru rolled his eyes, exasperated beyond belief. “Yes dimwit, that’s usually how contagious diseases spread.”
“Well then that solves it then! You don’t have an STD, because I didn’t have one to give to you.”
He hadn’t even looked at the research he had prepared, Kaoru thought, fighting off a pout at his hard work being disregarded. With his annoyance festering, Kaoru finally looked up.
He held eye contact with Kojiro, pleading non-verbally with him to, for once, to actually listen to him.
Kojiro began to speak, but choosing to ignore Kojiro’s dismissal on the issue, Kaoru began filling him in.
“My throat has been killing me these last few days,” Kaoru spoke, knowing that his discomfort would have already been picked up on. Kojiro had always been attentive to Kaoru’s needs, and it was an impossibility for Kaoru to be even mildly inconvenienced without Kojiro noticing it. Kaoru assumed that Kojiro had noticed something was off, and was only sparing Kaoru’s pride by not mentioning it. “At first, I thought it was just a normal reaction. I hadn’t ever…” Kaoru tilted his head and widened his eyes, “you know. And since it was my first time, I thought some discomfort would be normal.”
Kaoru ignored the look of guilt on Kojiro’s face, knowing the idiot to be overly considerate and worrying. He knew that mentioning any discomfort would trigger a mother-hen reaction out of the neanderthal and he wanted to avoid dealing with any of that. Kaoru didn’t regret anything, even with the STD fiasco, he held firm on his choices, and he didn’t need or want for Kojiro to start regretting their actions.
“When I woke up the day after, I honestly barely noticed the sore throat,” Kaoru insisted. He remembered waking up and thinking he needed a glass of water, and possibly a losange if it got any more uncomfortable. “But it got worse yesterday, and I don’t have the best view, but I’m pretty sure there’s some discoloration in the back of my throat.”
Kaoru had spent an embarrassing amount of time contorting himself in front of his bathroom mirror to try and compare the white sores on the back of his throat to images on the internet. He’d searched ‘ worst STD throat infections,’ and decided that while he wasn’t going to die, he was at risk of going blind if he didn’t start a round of antibiotics as soon as possible.
Kojiro’s shoulders slumped forward, making him look entirely too guilty and pathetic for Kaoru’s liking. He needed answers, not an emotional breakdown, he couldn’t handle his own worries, juggling both of theirs was out of the question.
“Are you sure that your throat doesn’t hurt just because…I was too, uhm, too big ?”
Kaoru wouldn’t worry about any of the ape’s emotions.
“Don’t. Be. A. Fucking. Idiot.” Kaoru spat, punctuating each word with a hit to Kojiro’s overgrown bicep. He hoped his flustered state went unnoticed.
Only a moron like Kojiro would take a serious topic like sexually transmitted disease and make it about the large amount of space he took up. Only he would have seen this as an opportunity to peacock his newly large body.
Who even experienced growth spurts at 17 years olds anyway?
Crass, embarrassing idiots, that's who.
Kaoru hadn't needed the reminder of how much taller and wider Kojiro had grown in the last few months. Kojiro walked into their final year of school, and instead of focusing on graduation, his body decided to finally go through the last growth spurt of adolescence. Being reminded of Kojiro’s new ability to cast a shadow over him irked Kaoru to no end.
“I’ll have you know that your dick was perfectly average,” he insisted. Kaoru felt responsible for making sure Kojiro’s ego stayed tamped down, he feared it growing out of control and becoming a national crisis.
Even without other experiences, Kaoru thought that Kojiro may in fact be larger than average, but that wasn’t something that Kojiro needed to hear. No. Kaoru wouldn’t give Kojiro the satisfaction of that knowledge.
“And even if it had been larger than expected- which it was not-” he clarified, watching a smirk crawl its way up Kojiro’s face. “That doesn’t explain why we’re sitting here three days after the fact, and I’m still in pain! So please try to reign in your huge ego, you overconfident gorilla.”
Kaoru’s attempt to ridicule seemed to have failed, since when he finished catching his breath, and attempting to lower his heart rate, Kojiro only seemed more amused, daring to giggle through his ever present smile. He looked like an idiot, proud of himself and his capability to send Kaoru into a tizzy with such little effort.
“Can you blame me for asking?” Kojijro questioned. “No matter how much you love to imply my origin is ape in nature it doesn’t mean I’m just going around infecting people with venereal diseases.”
“I’m surprised that a word that big is even in your vocabulary,” Kaoru muttered under his breath with a roll of his eyes.
“Will you please stop insulting me?” Kojiro pleaded. “I’m trying to bring you peace of mind.”
Kaoru doubted he’d ever have peace of mind.
But he caught the genuine placating tone in the other’s voice. “You can’t have an STD, because I didn’t have one to pass along to you.”
Kaoru shot Kojiro a look, ‘you’re the idiot between the two of us, not me.’
Kojiro had found the only vulnerability in his reasoning. Kaoru’s logic had one small hole that Kaoru decided not to focus on, due to the rabbit hole he knew was inevitable to fall into.
Kaoru prided himself in his success academically, and unlike some people, he wasn’t an idiot. He knew that for him to have contracted an STD from Kojiro, that meant that Kojiro needed to have said STD. That meant that Kaoru hadn’t been Kojiro’s first, which was fine.
Kaoru wasn’t the possessive type (he definitely was,) and even if he was, he and Kojiro hadn’t discussed any current exclusivity, or previous ‘endeavors.’ So feeling any certain way about Kojiro’s past proclivities wouldn’t be fair.
So Kaoru accepted fault, and refused to begin asking about Kojiro’s past dalliances and be perceived as jealous.
Because he wasn’t.
He was Kojiro’s best friend, however, and had been under the impression that they discussed everything with each other. Kaoru thought they didn’t have any secrets, but if Kojiro was unwilling to share information about his sex life, he wasn’t going to embarrass himself. He wasn’t about to beg for information that he thought fell into ‘best friend privileges.’
“That’s besides the point,” Kaoru stated, turning his nose up. “What’s done is done. I just have to figure out what it is I have. Then I’ll be able to figure out how to get rid of it.”
“Okay.”
“Okay ?”
It was unlike Kojiro to be so agreeable, sharing the same knack as Kaoru to be contrary.
“Yeah, let’s just go ask my dad to check it out.” Kojiro proposed, there was that difficult gene Kaoru expected.
Kojiro began to get up from where he was sitting, as if he didn’t just give the most ridiculous solution Kaoru had ever heard. Bringing more people into this mess was not what Kaoru wanted.
Kojiro’s father, Kazuki-san, could do nothing but cause Kaoru more anxiety. He was a general surgeon at the nearest hospital, which made him qualified to answer medical questions. And while this was technically a medical question, Kaoru could already feel his heart begin racing at the prospect of discussing such delicate topics with the man.
Under normal circumstances, Kaoru would have no issue going to Kazuki-san for help, especially in situations that required medical expertise. Kaoru spent the better part of the last decade of his life in the Nanjo home, becoming overly comfortable with all seven members. Kazuki-san had bandaged up multiple scrapes and sprains, quietly working on Kaoru’s injuries before allowing Kojiro and him to run off once more and get into more trouble.
In one memorable moment when Kaoru was 8 years old, Kojiro’s father found Kaoru curled up on himself on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. The surgeon quickly scooped Kaoru up and rushed him to the hospital. On his way, he called his wife, filling her in on his absence, and then contacted Kaoru’s parents explaining the situation, and once they’d arrived at the hospital kept them company while Kaoru had his appendix removed. Kazuki-san slipped back into his home early the next morning, after making sure Kaoru was out of surgery, and found himself having to console a snotty Kojiro who had been convinced Kaoru had been abducted by aliens the night before since he was missing.
So Kaoru had no doubts of Kazuki-san’s ability to perform proper medicine. However, Kaoru’s confidence in the man’s abilities did not win over his discomfort in the topic.
There was no way Kaoru was going to discuss his STD status with a man who helped raise him.
“Absolutely not. Under no circumstances are we telling your father about this.”
“He’s a doctor ,” Kojiro stressed.
Kaoru knew that. 13 years of knowing Kojiro made it difficult for him to forget his father's occupation.
“He’d be able to help us figure out how to deal with this.” Kojiro explained, “Plus, my mom is picking the twins off at soccer practice, so he’s the only one home.”
“I think you’re ignorantly ignoring the mortification I would have to suffer here,” Kaoru exasperated.
He pitched his voice up slightly, attempting to sound like his younger self. The version of himself that Kojiro’s parents were most familiar with. “‘ Oh yes, hello Nanjo-san, I hope your long, hard shift at the hospital- ”
“He didn’t work today,” Kojiro interrupted.
Ignoring the interruption, Kaoru continued. “‘ -wasn’t too draining, would you mind mixing your work and home life for one quick favor? Please be a dear and check my throat to identify the STD your son gave me? ”
On a roll, Kaoru continued his theatrics. “ And while we’re having a conversation, and you’re becoming familiar with my tonsils, I wanted to express how grateful I am for you and your wife for practically raising me, and allowing me so graciously into your home. I don’t know if I’ve ever properly thanked you. And now look, I turned around and stabbed you in the back, betraying your trust, and sucked off your son! ’”
Kaoru finished with an expelled breath. “Yeah Koji, that's gonna go over super well.”
“Don’t be so dramatic.” Kojiro rolled his eyes. “You haven’t ever referred to my dad as Nanjo-san, you’re too much of a brat for that.” Kojiro reminded, “and what’s with the sudden formality anyway? Surely becoming my boyfriend should make you more comfortable with my family, not less.”
Boyfriend.
Oh.
Oh.
“Boyfriend?!”
“I mean…yeah. I assumed so…” Kojiro said. “Is that not what you want?”
“Don’t be an idiot, of course it is,” Kaoru quickly responded, and quickly decided to move on.
Hitting Kojiro’s bicep once more. “Don’t try to distract! We are not going to your father about this!”
“Kaoru, come on. My father isn’t some hardass, honestly he will probably be overjoyed that we finally stopped skirting around each other.”
Kaoru was sure that’d be true. Both of Kojiro’s parents were easy going, a stark contrast to Kaoru’s own, over-traditional, and high expecting parents. The Nanjos gained their children’s respect by allowing them to live life as they chose, encouraging a healthy level of curiosity, including vocal sex positivity. So no, Kazuki-san was not a “hardass,” but he was still Kojiro’s father.
“You’re forgetting that this isn’t just him finding out that we’re together. This is us going up to him and admitting that we’re attempting to have a sexual relationship, and that it went so poorly that you’ve given me an STD!”
“I thought it was fine actually,” Kojiro muttered under his breath. “And again, I couldn’t have given you an STD, I didn’t have anything to give.”
“How you felt about it does very little to alleviate the still present symptoms I’m experiencing!”
Kaoru’s throat strained with him raising his voice. He had been so caught up in his anxieties and humiliation that he’d barely noticed the ever present discomfort in his larynx.
“Then we better get a doctor to help you with your symptoms,” Kojiro said with a roll of his eyes.
Kaoru watched as Kojiro quickly got up, yanking his bedroom door open and headed down the hallway. It took him a second to process that Kojiro had decided to ignore Kaoru’s apprehensions, and was presumably on his way to find his father.
“Kojiro!” Kaoru shouted, rushing to follow after the large oaf of a boyfriend he apparently had, hoping to get to Kojiro before he was able to ruin Kaoru’s life. He stumbled slightly between rushing off the ground and avoiding stepping on his laptop. “Kojiro!”
Kojiro ignored Kaoru’s calls and continued down the hall of bedrooms towards the kitchen, Kaoru quickly gaining on him ready to pounce.
As soon as Kaoru saw Kojiro round the corner, however, he knew he hadn’t been fast enough. He heard Kojiro call for his father from the other side of the wall.
“Oi! Pops!” Kojiro barked, in a tone of voice Kaoru would never get away with using for his own parents. “Kaoru and I have a medicine related question for you.”
Kaoru slid around the corner himself, and saw Kojiro walking up to his father in the kitchen. Kazuki-san was sitting down head buried in a battered recipe book, presumably choosing what to make for dinner. At the commotion of the two teens he lifted his gaze to watch amusingly as Kaoru rounded the corner at too fast a speed stumbling slightly, red faced and embarrassed.
“Well, step into my office,” Kazuki-san joked, standing up and gesturing into the kitchen. Why did all adults have to be so embarrassing? Kaoru was unable to hold it against him since he seemed so eager to offer a helping hand. A trait that seemed to be genetic, since every Nanjo, Kaoru has had the fortune (or misfortune in Kojiro’s case) of meeting.
“I was just about to start dinner before the girls got home, if you don’t mind me doing some prep work, I can answer some things for you now,” Kazuki-san said with a smile.
He hadn’t even needed to ask if Kaoru was planning on staying for dinner. Kaoru didn’t think he'd been asked if he was staying for dinner since he was eleven.
As Kojiro’s father began gathering materials around the kitchen, Kaoru attempted to send one final glare Kojiro’s way. He hoped that the threat of mortal danger being sent via eye-contact would be enough to convince Kojiro to drop the topic, and not fill his father in. He prayed that Kojiro would find kindness in his heart and allow Kaoru to keep his dignity intact.
Kojiro barely flinched at the daggers Kaoru sent his way.
Kojiro was a jerk.
Kaoru trudged the rest of the way into the kitchen, reluctantly accepting defeat. He hopped onto the counter next to the sink, and leaned back, resting his weight against the cabinets, an action he would never get away with in the Sakurayashiki home. Instead of being scolded for his actions, his position, sitting on a workspace didn’t even trigger a side glance from the two green haired men.
If he’s about to have his life ruined, he might as well get comfortable.
The Nanjo's family kitchen, unlike the Sakurayashiki one, was welcoming and comfortable. The heart of the house. Not unclean, but cluttered and obviously used. While the kitchen at Kaoru's was rarely used by anyone but his mother, someone always seemed to be fixing something up in the Nanjo house.
Kaoru wasn’t forbidden from grabbing food from the kitchen at home, yet, he was most certainly not encouraged to use it; not to the degree the Nanjo’s encouraged their children to use the kitchen. Even Kojiro’s two 7 year old sisters had full access to the fridge and pantry any time they wanted.
The kitchen was an important part of the Nanjo family, and though Kaoru never partook in the preparation of the family meals, he found himself taking up counter space, sitting in the way, where he allowed himself to be coaxed into participating in Nanjo-family squabbles.
It was a pity that such a wonderful space is to be tarnished with the grueling embarrassment Kaoru is about to suffer.
“So what question did you have for me?” Kazuki-san asked, looking expectedly between Kaoru and Kojiro.
Kaoru shifted that expected glance to Kojiro. It was the idiot’s idea to bring his father into this, he was going to have to buck up and take initiative and speak on both of their behalf.
Besides, Kaoru found himself too busy to speak. Focused on calming his anxieties and preparing for mortification, speaking and taking the lead here was out of the question.
“Well,” Kojiro started, “Kaoru here has had a pretty sore throat these last few days.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Kazuki empathized. “Do you need some cough medicine?” Already shifted towards the medicine cabinet.
Kaoru simply shook his head, waiting for Kojiro to finish.
“See the thing is, Kaoru here is convinced he’s contracted an STD.”
Kaoru struggled to stifle a groan at Kojiro’s clunky speech. He despised Kojiro’s oafish disregard for Kaoru’s sound logic, making it seem like Kaoru had a mere hunch instead of pages of research.
“Oh?” Kazuki asked, failing to hide his bewilderment.
“Yeah. So if you could please help convince this hypochondriac he’s fine, that'd be appreciated.”
Kaoru didn’t appreciate being dismissed, but he couldn’t even focus on that. He was too busy praying for the tile floor to split in two and swallow him whole, falling to one's death would be a merciful end to this conversation. He couldn’t handle the pitying look Kazuki-san was sending his way, he was suddenly very interested in the state of his cuticles.
Kojiro’s father stopped the prep work he was doing and wiped his hands down on the apron he had acquired at some point. He crossed his arms across his chest and leaned against the kitchen island directly across from Kaoru.
“Okay, so a sore throat can definitely be something worth worrying about.” Kazuki stated, “but I’m not really understanding the jump to believing you may have contracted an STD here.”
Kojiro and Kaoru looked at each other. Or more appropriately, Kojiro forcefully attempted eye contact, while Kaoru continued examining his fingers, finding the non-existent dirt under his fingernails more interesting thanother’s eyes. He knew Kojiro was trying to have one of their silent conversations to see which of them would bite the bullet and fess up to Kojiro’s father. But Kojiro was an even bigger idiot than Kaoru thought, if he doubted Kaoru’s stubbornness.
Kaoru wouldn’t be anything unless it was absolutely necessary.
“Well, you see…” Kojiro began, the first signs of nervousness appearing in his voice. Nowhere near the level Kaoru has been experiencing these last few days, but he was glad he wouldn’t be suffering alone.
“I’m pretty sure it’s not an STD, but Kaoru is neurotic,” He stated as if it was meant to be obvious, “and he’s convinced himself that after giving one blowie,-”
Kaoru snapped his eyes up at that, hoping his displeasure of the word ‘blowie’ was clear to Kojiro. “-he has bad enough luck to catch the bubonic plague.”
Kaoru threw his head back against the cabinet. He was beginning to think that he should have spoken. If only to avoid the embarrassment that comes along with associating with Kojiro, and his never ending crassness and lack of decorum. If Kaoru hadn’t been blushing before, his face was absolutely flaming now. Kaoru didn’t consider himself respectable, but he’d never dare using such crass language in front of an adult.
“Oh,” Nanjo spurted, surprised by his son's choice of words, despite having raised the idiot. “I wasn’t aware that you were sexually active Kaoru-chan.”
Kaoru audibly groaned at that, no longer feeling the need to try and muffle himself.
He hadn’t been referred to as Kaoru-chan in years, hadn’t allowed anyone to, preferring to not be referred to at all. This was not the setting he wanted it to be brought back in. He brought his arms up to hide his ever burning face, he questioned what he had done to deserve a punishment like this.
He would have been perfectly content never discussing his sexual life with anyone, much less a man who'd known him since he was 4 years old.
“It’s a sort of new addition to our relationship,” Kojiro explained. Quickly. Nonchalantly. As if this was any other conversation. As though this entire conversation was as difficult as a walk in a park.
‘Fuck him,’ Kaoru thought. Fuck Kojiro and his ability to stay unaffected in Kaoru’s deepest miseries.
Kazuki laughed at Kojiro’s explanation, causing Kaoru to groan once more, louder and more strained than the previous one.
Kojiro’s lack of tact was something he had become familiar with in the last decade; he considered himself an expert at animal handling.
What he couldn’t handle was Kojiro’s father’s apparent amusement in the situation.
“I apologize Kaoru, I’m not trying to embarrass you here.” It didn’t matter what he was trying to do, Kaoru was thoroughly embarrassed.
“Having an active sex life and libido is very common for teenagers your age. Healthy even. I’m just glad you two have each other to take certain… uhm-... to deal with certain… urges.”
“Please stop,” Kaoru begged, having shut his eyes and buried his face in his palms. “I’m going to die,” he wished. “Please let me die.”
Both Nanjos seemed to find Kaoru’s soul crushing humiliation unrelatable. Both of them struggled to hide their chuckling. Kojiro snorted unattractively before falling into a full laughing fit.
“Okay, okay. No teasing,” Kazuki instructed turning to Kojiro, attempting to appear scolding towards Kojiro. Hypocritical, since he had also been laughing at Kaoru’s misery.
The scolding went unconsidered, Kojiro ignored his father’s instructions, and continued his smirk as Kaoru peeled his hands away from his burning face. Kojiro’s parents rarely had to discipline their kids, all five of them being well-behaved due to the nurturing environment they were raised in. It did however, cause all their kids to be little shits, Kojiro taking first place, as biggest little shit.
Kaoru applauded Kazuki for even attempting to reprimand Kojiro, as far as Kaoru was concerned, taming the beast was a lost cause.
Taking his own words into consideration, Kazuki squared his shoulders and shook out his body a little bit in an attempt to fall into the professional demeanor, trying to match the energy he’d have at work as Nanjo-hakase.
The affronted professionalism did little to tame the anxiety still bubbling in Kaoru’s body.
“So oral sex was performed-” Kaoru cringed at Nanjo-hakase’s clinical statement. The wording clunking and jolting to the ears after hearing the word ‘blowie’ mere minutes ago. Kazuki continued, “-now some symptoms seem to be present in the patient.” All three of them cringed at that. The use of the word patient seemed forced from Kazuki, a man who’d survived Kaoru’s five year long ‘biting phase.’
Turning his attention to Kojiro, “do you have any reason to believe you had an STD that could have been passed along?”
“No, there hadn’t been.” Kojiro paused, considering his next words, “There wasn’t,” he paused again, “It was the first time I’d done anything like that.”
So he had been Kojiro’s first. That was fine. Good. Great.
That soothed a few anxieties and jealousies Kaoru hadn’t fully admitted to having.
“Alright, that’s good. That’s good,” Kazuki said, nodding. “That means that there’s a very low chance that this is in fact an STD, hopefully that puts you to some ease.”
No.
That did not in fact put Kaoru at ease. Being wrong was possibly the worst diagnosis he could receive, and by the ‘ I told you so ’ look he was narrowingly avoiding from Kojiro’s direction, the buffoon knew it too.
Kazuki moved to the kitchen to quickly wash and dry his hands, before stopping to stand in front of Kaoru.
“Okay, I’m gonna just do a quick examination. Is it alright if I touch you?” Kazuki asked, hovering his hands close to his face.
Kaoru nodded, allowing for Kazuki to step further into his space and cradle his jaw, opening his mouth when requested, even if he would have preferred to be buried six feet under.
Despite what some overgrown toddlers may think, Kaoru did not consider himself in the business of being difficult. And since being buried six feet under wasn’t an option he would much rather get this over with.
The next few moments passed in a formal manner with Kazuki instructing Kaoru to open his mouth and tilt this way and that. While Kazuki peered into his son’s boyfriend’s mouth, Kojiro relaxed leaning against the island seemingly enjoying with his arms crossed his father became intimately familiar with Kaoru’s tonsils.
Since a Nanjo getting intimately familiar with his throat got him into this mess, Kaoru didn’t feel like it was his place to complain, but he certainly wasn’t enjoying the situation.
“Okay so good news and bad news.” Kazuki said, stepping back, shifting his gaze from the back of Kaoru’s throat to his eyes. He pulled further away from Kaoru and angled his body to be able to speak to both boys at once.
“You don’t have an STD.”
Kaoru felt a small amount of tension release from his neck. Only to immediately return as he heard the shrill sound of a monkey yapping.
“Fuck yeah! I told you so!”
Kaoru and Kazuki both shoot Kojiro a disappointed look.
“ But … you do most likely have mononucleosis, which means,” turning to his son, “that since Kojiro has been in such close contact, he is almost certainly also infected.”
Mono. Mono. Kaoru isn’t sure how having the ‘kissing disease,’ brought more mortification into play, when he had previously been convinced he had an STD.
“However, I do think it’s important we have a conversation.” Kazuki amended. “If the two of you are planning on having a sexual relationship, I think it’s necessary that we discuss safe sex and protection.”
“Nope.” Kaoru interjected, hopping off the counter and grabbing Kojiro by his shirt sleeve, pulling him out of the kitchen. He had suffered enough for one say, and was uninterested in receiving a safe-sex lecture after the humiliation he’d already experienced.
He tugged Kojiro down the hallway towards his bedroom, hearing behind him a chuckled, “Safe, sane, and consensual!”
Once in Kojiro’s bedroom, Kaoru released his death grip on Kojiro’s now wrinkled shirt sleeve, and threw himself at Kojiro’s un-made bed, plummeting face first into the soft mattress.
Kojiro laughed at Kaoru’s histrionics, closing and locking the door behind himself, lips parting to begin speaking.
“If the next words out of your mouth are, ‘ I told you so ,’ consider yourself single.” Kaoru interrupted, words muffled in the down feathers of Kojiro’s comforter.
“Do you really think so little of me?”
“Yes.” Kaoru confidently responded.
Kaoru heard Kojiro’s cell phone buzz. Kaoru twisted his head, pressing his cheek into the bed, to watch Kojiro remove the device from his front pocket and quickly read over the message he received.
“Pops says we gotta stay in here for a bit.” Kojiro said, while taking a few steps to his bed. He sat down and instinctually began stroking his hand up Kaoru’s back in a soothing gesture. “He said we should quarantine in here so we don’t get my sisters sick.”
Kaoru preened at Kojiro’s petting, arching slightly into the contact. He hadn’t fully forgiven Kojiro for his actions and personality, but he didn’t push his hand away, which he knew Kojiro would understand to mean he needed the contact. He closed his eyes and sank deeper into the bed, beginning to unwind the tension held in his body these last few days.
Kojiro leaned over Kaoru’s body, moving closer to speak directly into his ear, “You’re not actually mad right?”
Kaoru shook his head. He didn’t know if he had ever been mad , and never specifically at Kojiro.
Mortified? Certainly.
Anxious? Most definitely.
Overwhelmed? Unquestionably.
“Good, good.” Kojiro leaned out of Kaoru’s space, but continued caressing him. “I know that was a lot. And I’m sorry for going to him without your permission.”
They knew each other extremely well, and Kojiro wouldn’t have gone to Kazuki if he thought it would truly upset Kaoru, so while the apology was nice, it wasn’t necessary. They both knew Kojiro’s father meant no real harm.
“It’s okay,” Kaoru acknowledged. He didn’t lift up from his prone position, too exhausted to move, and too satisfied by Kojiro’s doting touches.
Kojiro leaned forward, brushing a few strands of pink hair out of Kaoru’s face, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.
“Look on the bright side,” Kojiro said as he continued to stroke his fingers through long hair.
Kaoru doubted there was a bright side to the headache that this day had become, but he listened despite that. “We got to talk to my dad before anyone else was home. So, at least only one other person knows about your crazy STD theory.”
Kaoru couldn’t help but snort at that.
“We both know that your parents don’t have a secret between them,” Kaoru corrected.
Kojiro’s parents were hopelessly in love with each other. Akari and Kazuki did pretty much everything attached at the hip. This included, teasing and gossiping about their children. And though Kaoru was touched at the prospect of the Nanjo’s considering him family enough to tease, he wasn’t prepared for the years of mocking waiting for him.
As he thought that, Kaoru felt his phone begin to vibrate in his back pocket. Before he could shift to reach for it, he felt his phone grabbed by a meaty hand.
“Why is my brother trying to video call you?” Kojiro asked, turning the phone screen to Kaoru, so he was able to read the contact name, ‘Favorite Nanjo,’ lit up the Lock Screen coupled with a photo of a 12 year old Kaoru sitting on a 14 year old Kaito’s shoulders.
Kaoru sat up, yanking the phone out of Kojiro’s hand and swiped to answer the call.
On the screen, he saw both of Kojiro’s older siblings crammed next to each other, attempting to fit into the video frame. The both of them sat on one side of a table, outdoors seated at a table of a cafe or restaurant.
Both Kaito and Akiko were currently living in Tokyo, Akiko finishing her law courses, and Kaito working contract jobs for large venues in sound production and design. Both being in Tokyo, it wasn’t unlike them to keep close contact and meet up regularly for lunch as often as possible. The Nanjos preferred to be close to family, the two siblingings obviously relying on each other to overcome homesickness.
“Ru-chan!” Kaito started, “it’s so good to see you!”
Kaoru bristled, he didn’t trust the pair of smirks he saw on the two older Nanjo's faces.
“Hello to you too Kaito,” Kojiro muttered behind Kaoru’s shoulder.
Akiko grabbed the phone out of Kaito’s hand. Shifting the angle to cut out her younger brother as he audibly struggled to get the phone back.
“We just wanted to call and congratulate the two of you on finally getting your dicks wet! Dad just called us!”
Kaoru had never hung up a call so quickly. He tossed the phone across the room and promptly dropped dropping back onto the bed. He felt his cheeks begin to burn again.
“I hate your family,” Kaoru lied.
“We love you too, idiot.”