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If there’s one thing Beomgyu is sure of, it’s that Kang Taehyun is a massive pain in the ass.
Not literally – that really isn’t what Beomgyu’s referring to. He is, however, referring to a whole lot of other things. And even though every item on the list makes Beomgyu look mortifyingly whipped, it doesn’t make any of these items any less true.
For one, Taehyun is infuriatingly hot. And if that’s not bad enough, he’s also really devastatingly sweet and kind, always indulging Beomgyu and letting him do whatever the hell he wants, give him whatever the hell he wants.
If Beomgyu wants to head to the other side of the city for tacos, Taehyun would be ready to pick him up with his car within ten minutes. And if he’s up to get some sexy time on the way back, the other man would simply indulge him, no matter how silly the entire thing was and they were literally about to head back to Beomgyu’s home.
So being painfully attractive both visually and character-wise only leaves him wanting to punch his pillows with his noodly arms everytime the other guy leaves with a kiss.
But honestly, the most frustrating thing that seals the deal of Taehyun being a persistent headache in Beomgyu’s life, is the fact that despite their intimacy, despite how much they behave like a couple, they aren’t one.
They explore new restaurants together, go on not dates together. They cuddle, they kiss, and they fuck. But they aren’t together. They’re not in a relationship. They’re not boyfriends. They’re not even dating, to say the least.
The proper term would be fuck buddies.
Back when Beomgyu wanted to have a perfect solution to his horny spells while not having to deal with feelings, the idea of having a fuck buddy was sexy.
Hot and fast.
Except now it only leaves him sad and mad.
And that’s impressively frustrating. Because Beomgyu had been the one to suggest this arrangement. In an impressive stroke of irony, he’s also the one who ended up catching feelings for Taehyun. They’d met through a blind date arranged by a mutual friend, and what ended as a few follow-up dates, only manifested as a sort of fear of commitment on Beomgyu’s part.
Which perhaps led to some sort of bad decision.
Which perhaps led to him telling Taehyun that the dating "wasn’t going to work out".
Maybe Taehyun isn’t the infuriating one. Beomgyu’s just infuriated with his string of terrible decisions. From agreeing to go on the blind date, to going on more dates, then proceeding to tell the other man they’re better off as friends (with benefits), and then dealing the finishing blow right smack in his own face by falling in love.
But Taehyun? Taehyun’s far from being reciprocal of his feelings. If anything, he’s consistent in being casual about this entire thing they have.
A series of unfortunate events later, Choi Beomgyu’s part of the pathetic group of losers.
Losers who unwittingly fell in love with their goddamned fuck buddy.
-
Taehyun is infuriating, yes. But if they're talking adjectives, the perfect word to describe Beomgyu would be deadly unfortunate. Yes, unfortunate again.
Beomgyu is unlucky and this constitution of his has made itself known very frequently. Falling in love with his fuck buddy is obviously one. Having unsupportive parents who have a lot to comment about his lifestyle and 'unstable' career choice is another. Usually he stuffs that aside as part of his private life so it’s whatever.
But he forgets that generally having bad timing is more of an occurring thing for him.
And the reminder of his terrible luck comes to play in a way he's never expected.
As with all his problems, Taehyun's there at the scene of the crime. Technically, it happens precisely because Taehyun's there.
There in Beomgyu's apartment on a Sunday afternoon. Better yet, he'd headed straight to Beomgyu's apartment the moment he landed back in the country after a week-long business trip.
Perhaps it was the countless racy pictures Beomgyu spammed him with over the one week he had been away. Throw in a dash of amateur sexting and Beomgyu finds his fuck buddy licking hungrily into his mouth, thighs caging his hips as he grinds down.
And if anything, Beomgyu's weak. And he throws his head back in a groan when Taehyun does that annoying thing. That annoying thing where he swipes his tongue against Beomgyu's lower lip before giving it a gentle nip because he knows it makes him weak. Weak in the knees, hard in the pants.
Taehyun knows.
"Fuck. You're doing this on purpose," he pants out, hands frantically struggling to rip Taehyun's buttons off.
And that motherfucker only pulls him back into another softer kiss before laughing against his lips.
"Payback. Wanted you in me all week and you weren't helping." He punctuates his sentences with another painful swivel of his hips.
Annoying asshole. Why did he fall in love with an annoying asshole?
But his euphoria is short-lived, their steamy session rudely interrupted by the shrill doorbell. Well it's nothing. Immersed in their horniness, whatever the fuck that was goes ignored.
Except whatever the fuck that was also doesn't give a shit that they're extremely busy getting it on. Impatient knocks on the door resound and Beomgyu humorlessly thinks he's hard enough to dickslap whoever's hounding him like a loanshark and give them a concussion.
Typically, he'd ignore it and proceed with whatever he's occupied with till it goes away – a very Beomgyu-coded approach – but Taehyun begs to differ, pushing his hands firmly against Beomgyu's shoulders instead to still him.
"Are you expecting someone?"
"Hell no. I'm expecting to get laid."
Taehyun shoots him a look, moving away, and that's enough for Beomgyu to sigh in defeat, clambering off the mattress as he heads to the door. It's probably a fatal stroke of annoyance that stops him from bothering to fix his disheveled hair and unkempt hot pants which clearly left no room for imagination about why he took so long to get the door.
And it's fatal because horror courses through his veins the moment he swings his door open without an ounce of deliberation.
Because there in all his despicable glory, stands his brother. Beomgyu's fucking brother of all fucking people, staring down at him as his expression morphs into a scandalized one.
"Gyu? Who's there?" Taehyun's voice reverberates from behind. Like a godfucking damned death bell. And he spins around in alarm. Good fucking god please do not—
Unlike him, Taehyun had the decency to button his shirt back on. But his ruddy lips and crumpled clothes explain it all and Beomgyu figures he must be in an even less decent state than he is.
He turns back to his brother, gulping as he takes in the judgemental stare he's being regarded with.
Even from where he stands, Beomgyu can clearly hear the gears spinning in his brother's head.
"Uh— My… Brother. That's my older brother," he chokes out, not daring to tear his eyes off the man scrutinizing him with something near contempt.
"Who's that?"
Beomgyu's positive the longer he lets himself crumble under the unrelenting gaze, the more likely he’s going to throw up.
“Ah, nice to meet you, I’m Kang Taehyun.”
Beomgyu snaps out of his stupor, turning back sharply to stare at his fuck buddy with incredulous eyes.
You see, if Beomgyu’s family were any normal and easygoing people, he could most definitely be honest. Just say he’s about to dick someone down and whoever is behind the door would be on their merry way.
But that’s unfortunately not the case. Remember, Beomgyu is unlucky. And he’s also screwed because the moment his brother finds out he has a fuck buddy and shares that with his parents, it’d be beyond humiliation. Because the next thing he’d be subjected to would be lectures from his parents on how he should rightfully be settling down properly like his older brother.
Everything is shameful, painful, and Beomgyu is also a little too prideful to be alright with going through that torture.
He might not be the poster boy of happiness and success, but he’s worked hard for everything he’s gotten so far, and a round of lecturing about embodying whatever shit values his parents believe he should isn’t something he needs right now.
Hell, he was just about to dick someone down just minutes ago. He doesn’t need this shit.
Taehyun raises an eyebrow, high EQ clearly at work as he holds his tongue. He isn’t exactly aware of how Beomgyu fights his daddy and mommy issues demons daily, but he isn’t completely clueless either.
“Just...” he begins uselessly, turning back to his unwanted guest.
“Well?”
His brother gives him a look. And within seconds, Beomgyu’s feeling every nerve of his activated.
“He’s my boyfriend.”
Pindrop silence pierces the air and call Beomgyu a liar, but also don’t forget to call him a loser. Because he doesn’t dare to turn back, fully aware of the lie he’s telling at Taehyun’s expense.
But more importantly, he’s afraid of what he’ll see, Afraid of seeing disgust or anything similar flit across the other man’s features.
“Your boyfriend?”
“Yup.”
In the most condescending fashion ever, his brother gives them both a once over, distaste at Beomgyu’s indecent get-up blatant.
“You’re saying you have a boyfriend?”
Beomgyu narrows his eyes despite the way his heart races in his ribcage. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” he replies simply, gaze now fixated on Taehyun. “Just don’t quite believe you finally committed to anything.” Slightly miffed, Beomgyu shoves his body between the two men, glaring at his brother.
“Didn’t I tell you not to drop by unannounced?” he shoots back instead.
“This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t ignore our calls.”
Boo hoo fucking cry about it. Beomgyu narrowly resists the urge to slam the door in his face.
“Okay, now you see I’m alive can you please leave? You clearly interrupted something.”
“Bring him back next week.”
“What?”
“Mom wants you back for dinner next weekend. Bring him too.” The annoying man juts his chin in Taehyun’s direction. Beomgyu wants nothing more than to break his jaw.
It’s a test. It’s a test and he fucking knows it. But he can’t let this lie unravel any further and with way too much gusto, he barks out a vehement ‘no’.
“Why not? Would there be a problem?”
Like some sort of moment of salvation, Beomgyu feels a warm arm on his shoulder, jolting him right out of his skin.
“It’s fine with me if Beomgyu wants to.”
What he really wants is to scream because what the fuck?
He spins around sharply, scanning Taehyun’s expression – neatly schooled into a calm one.
“See, there’s no problem then, right?”
Swallowing dryly, Beomgyu turns back to the unwelcome guest slowly.
“Sure.”
“Then I’ll see you and Taehyun next week.”
With another disconcerting look at both of them, his brother heads off.
What the fuck. What the fuck just happened.
-
“What the fuck was that?” he says calmly. Crazily calm as he collapses onto his couch, mortified at everything that had just happened in the past hour.
“You shouldn’t have lied. I shouldn’t have either, but you got yourself into a pinch right there.”
And here it is. One of the qualities Beomgyu hates the most about Taehyun. The fact that he cares about his feelings. The fact that he cares enough and is kind enough to do things like that.
‘I– It was. I just didn’t want them to– I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to.”
“Well, a little heads-up would’ve been nice,” Taehyun begins carefully, uneasiness slipping into his features. Beomgyu gives him due credit for making it sound as casual as possible.
Sure, Beomgyu isn’t right for having blurted out those words without thinking. But perhaps it sucks more that Taehyun doesn’t seem too thrilled about the idea of being known as his boyfriend. It sucks and Beomgyu has never felt this insecure about himself in a long time.
“Hey.”
Right. Spiraling can wait. Right now, he owes the other man an explanation. Good god.
“Uh– I’m sorry.”
Taehyun stares at him, expression unreadable before he sighs, stepping away. For a moment, Beomgyu thinks he’s pushed it too far and he’s finally successfully pissed him off enough to drive him away.
But he’s proven wrong the moment the other man rounds the coffee table to settle down on the couch beside him instead, slinging an arm over his shoulder. Beomgyu leans into the touch instinctively, curling into a little ball against the warm furnace.
“That’s not what I mean.”
“What’s not what you mean?” he mumbles petulantly, all bite in his voice muffled against Taehyun’s chest.
“I know you think I’m annoyed because I don’t want to be falsely known as your boyfriend when it’s not true.”
Taehyun means well, but each word stings. Each word carves a fresh reminder in Beomgyu’s chest, raw and bloody. A reminder that whatever ghost of a relationship he wished they had would never be true.
“Are you not?”
“Not necessarily no. I know you were taken off-guard too. It just took me by surprise.”
“I’m sorry, really,” Beomgyu says finally, fiddling with his fingers. “It’s just…”
“Not the kind of life your family wishes you’d lead?”
“Kinda.”
Beomgyu’s clipped replies say more than any words could ever. It wasn’t like Taehyun hasn’t accidentally overheard Beomgyu get lectured about being a respectable adult like his brother over astoundingly blaring phone calls at the most random times.
The first time it happened, they’d actually been getting it on and his mother’s call had been a major cockblocker as she yelled over the phone about him missing another family dinner.
It was humiliating.
But somehow Taehyun hadn’t made a single comment after Beomgyu hung up with half-hearted apologies, simply suggesting they watch some sappy romcom instead because he was getting sleepy.
His brother has a stable 9-5 financial consultant job, a wife, and a kid well on the way too. Meanwhile, Beomgyu produces fucking YouTube videos for a Buzzfeed knockoff channel and gets laid semi-frequently with someone he can’t even call a partner.
It’s riveting, really. But also really the complete opposite of his parents’ expectations.
He switches the subject before Taehyun can pry. He actually won’t, he’s emotionally intelligent, unlike his brother who bleats incessantly like a goat, digging into every single element of Beomgyu’s life and dutifully announcing every single detail to their parents.
But he prefers to be a little on the defensive side anyway.
“You really don’t have to do the dinner. I can tell them you have a really important multi-million dollar building to design on the other side of the world.”
Taehyun huffs out a laugh, ruffling Beomgyu’s hair gently.
“It’s okay. Just know you owe me one for this.”
“One what?”
“A favor.”
Groaning, Beomgyu stretches out his limbs, letting his head fall onto the other man’s lap instead. Owing favors to Taehyun is like Russian Roulette. You never know whether he’ll claim that favor for something as simple as getting him late-night supper or something ridiculous like forcing Beomgyu to cook something more than an egg.
Taehyun had this weird thing where he liked to watch Beomgyu suffer. Cooking was his thing, not Beomgyu’s, and they were both very clear about that.
“So… You’re going to pretend to be my boyfriend?”
Beomgyu wishes he could rip his heart right out. Wishes he could stop the hopeful sparks that erupt in his heart when Taehyun shoots him a lazy grin.
“Of course, baby.”
-
The disastrous weekend rolls around before Beomgyu can truly mentally prepare himself for that. If he’s being honest, there’s probably no way for him to ever be mentally prepared for anything like that.
Not only does he have to deal with his family members who always had some sort of vendetta against him, he also has to deal with Taehyun pretending to be his boyfriend, all while stopping himself from falling into this delusion.
From falling into this false perception that there’s actually some sort of reality where Taehyun could actually be his. Could actually like or even love him the same way he does.
But the moment he’s strapped in comfortably in Taehyun’s car as they speed down the sparse streets, headed towards his childhood home, he feels anything but comfortable.
The seatbelt feels suffocating and for a moment, Beomgyu feels like dissolving against the leather.
“Hey, you alright?”
Beomgyu grunts, resolutely refusing to look in the other man’s direction.
“Aw, don’t look so glum. I’m doing you a favor. I’ll have you know a lot of people would die to have me as their boyfriend even for a day.”
Yes. Beomgyu would fucking know.
It’s mostly a light-hearted joke meant to ease the mounting tension but Beomgyu wants to yell.
“Yeah sure.” And then he sighs, “Sorry. I meant I really appreciate your help. I just don’t like seeing them in general.”
“It’ll be fine. Anything I need to know?”
“Uh. Just. Just don’t take whatever shit they say seriously. My family they… They aren’t the biggest fans of mine…” A deep breath. He wasn’t about to unload some longass toxic family drama to the other man.
“Parents love the brother though. His wife is kinda nice though, and she’s expecting. Random fact. She’ll probably be there.”
To his relief, Taehyun doesn’t pry. As expected, but that doesn’t mean Beomgyu’s any less appreciative.
“Okay. Any story you want me to follow?”
Beomgyu’d spent an entire sleepless night thinking about this, and yet it still fills him with an unhealthy amount of yearning when he talks about it. Almost like a scenario he wishes was real.
“Uh. They probably won’t ask. But in case my brother decides to be an ass, we met through a mutual friend who arranged us to go on a blind date, clicked, and started dating. And then… this.”
There’s a long pause and Beomgyu shuffles uneasily in his seat till Taehyun finally breaks the silence.
“We did meet through a mutual friend who set us up on a blind date and dated for a while.”
Except Beomgyu decided they shouldn’t actually date.
The words hang unspoken in the air and Beomgyu swallows nervously. “All the better so we don’t mix things up.” The laugh he lets out is nervous.
Silence fills the vehicle again and Beomgyu presses his eyes shut.
“Get some sleep, it’s a long journey. I’ll wake you up.”
The leather sticks nauseatingly to his skin.
Sleep doesn’t come.
-
By the time Beomgyu finally forces his eyes open, the late afternoon sun’s hanging low, casting a yellow glow over the bare willow trees that whizz by in a blur as Taehyun turns into a dirt path.
Hauntingly familiar yet no less nauseating.
The GPS announces their imminent arrival and Beomgyu feels himself tense up involuntarily.
Being upset doesn’t mean anyone’s going to cut him any slack. He’s learnt this from young. So inhaling sharply, he clambers off Taehyun’s car once he’s parked safely along the driveway, leading the way up to their porch.
Caught up with his own trepidation, he completely zones out till he feels the other man tug his sleeve.
“Wait.”
“Hm?”
“You’re just– We’re just going in like that?”
Beomgyu stays rooted at the spot, trying to decipher what Taehyun’s trying to imply.
Dancing at his spot for a drawn-out second, he reaches to grab the other man’s hand hesitantly before leaning in to press a soft kiss at the corner of his lip.
“Uh– Was it this good luck kiss I forgot?”
A long beat of silence follows before Taehyun barks out a laugh, shaking his head.
“No, dummy. I meant like. Don’t we need to knock first? Introduce myself or something?”
Rolling his eyes to conceal how embarrassed his blunder was, Beomgyu continues to fumble with the lock, leading them in. To his credit, Taehyun doesn’t let go of his hand, intertwining their fingers instead.
It frankly takes herculean willpower to stop himself from freaking out at how ridiculous the entire situation is.
How real this entire farce feels. Almost like they’re really dating. Almost like Taehyun’s genuinely jittery at the thought of meeting his parents.
“I’m no special guest. They aren’t going to come out and greet me or anything,” he snickers, dragging the other man along as they pad up the stairs of his childhood home.
For a moment, it feels like the walls are closing in on him with each step, each creak of the floorboards, whining and gratingly familiar. But the moment they’re in his bedroom, pristine and bare the exact way he’d left it since the last time he visited, Beomgyu finds himself spun around, coming face to face with his fake boyfriend.
Taehyun searches his face, expression softening when he registers what Beomgyu can only assume is the stupid look of being caught up in his bad memories.
“Are you okay?”
“Just– My days here weren’t the happiest.”
Despite all the physical intimacy they’d shared for the past half a year, Taehyun leaning forward to press a chaste kiss against Beomgyu’s lips suddenly feels jarringly affectionate.
“It’ll be okay. You’re not alone this time.”
“I’m here with my fuck buddy who’s pretending to be my boyfriend,” he deadpans. More a futile attempt to stop himself from falling even more into his pit of delusions.
A long silent beat passes and Taehyun bites his lip leaning back, expression apprehensive.
“Still not alone,” he replies finally, shaking his head and moving to set their shared duffel bag aside.
An awkward tension settles between them and if anything, Beomgyu’s confused and he busies himself with changing into something else more comfortable.
-
Pretending to be a couple with Taehyun isn’t technically the most difficult part, unrequited feelings aside.
The real difficult part is forgetting how humiliating it is to be interrogated by his parents, much less in front of Kang Taehyun. Of all fucking people.
“So Taehyun," his father begins, voice gruff and betraying no emotion like it always did. "What do you do for a living?"
Funny how that's the first thing his father chooses to start the dinner with. Funny how they pinned all sorts of expectations on Beomgyu to make sure he met their standards of being a 'respectable' son, yet never exemplified any manners themselves.
This is the goddamned worst dinner he’s ever been forced to sit through. Call it the fucking last supper.
Maybe it hurts a bit. Because instead of asking after Beomgyu who hadn’t been home in a while, they’d responded to Taehyun’s greeting with judgemental eyes instead, all before proceeding to start a completely unwarranted dinner conversation with the most practical and thoughtless question ever.
It seems as if Beomgyu’s the only one uneasy with the way his father’s interrogating Taehyun. Because while he tenses up, everybody else continues eating like nothing matters. His sister-in-law shoots him a tiny sympathetic smile from across and he supposes that’s the best he’s getting out of this darned place he called home.
It isn’t surprising – he had been the only one uneasy with the way things were in this household after all.
“I’m an architect, sir.”
Beomgyu wants to snort.
“Your firm’s scale?”
“Global.”
“Designation?”
“Partner, sir.”
Beomgyu would rather they play ping pong with his fucking decapitated head instead. But his parents don’t seem displeased and Beomgyu should rightfully feel relieved, basically having dodged a bullet. Yet something claws mercilessly at his gullet.
“That’s decent. Maybe you can set a better example for Beomgyu so he can stop whatever nonsense he’s been doing.”
Ah, there it is.
If he’s being honest, he isn’t surprised. Hearing this in front of Taehyun, though, borders on disgraceful.
A silly retort dangles at the tip of his tongue. Some intelligent suggestion that his parents should come star in one of his company’s upcoming videos on parenting done wrong – he’d even call it cunty kkondaes just for them and pay tribute to their Korean roots.
Two birds with one stone.
But Taehyun cuts in before he can do anything silly and if anything, Beomgyu wishes he actually got the chance to spew that cunty kkondae bullshit. Because nothing could be dumber than Kang Taehyun talking back to his parents.
“With all due respect, Sir, I think Beomgyu’s doing a great job. He’s working really hard and he inspires me rather than the other way round.”
With all due respect, Beomgyu nearly throws up in bewilderment when the other man turns to give him a bright smile, reaching for his hand on the table and giving it a squeeze.
A blanket of silence falls over them and his sister-in-law clears her throat nervously, letting out the fakest laugh and trying to change the subject.
Heart caught in his throat, Beomgyu barely resists the urge to snatch his arm away, electing to pull his hand out of Taehyun’s grasp as subtly as he can manage instead.
And it’s perhaps the most Beomgyu-esque reaction ever to skip dessert and retire back to his room the moment dinner ends. All the other man does is follow him obediently, maintaining his distance even when Beomgyu collapses on his bed with a frustrated sigh.
No matter how terrible the dinner went, he’s a little moved Taehyun had spoken up for him, even though he’d never found any point in debating with his gruff father who had long decided Beomgyu was a waste of space.
He pops one eye open, instantly feeling bad when he spots the other man hovering hesitantly by the door.
“Did I overstep?”
The words echo in the small room, laced with cautiousness.
Prioritizing anybody else’s feelings has never been Beomgyu’s strong suit, but the need for him to stop being selfish rings heavily in his head.
He sits up, reaching out with grabby hands in an attempt at easing the tension in the air.
Inching towards him, Taehyun complies despite the clear deliberation, taking one hand into his, only to be pulled onto the mattress by Beomgyu.
It’s an awkward fit, but he scoots all the way in, propping himself up with one arm while laying on his side and staring at Taehyun.
“I didn’t mean to overstep or disrespect your family. I just didn’t like them saying the things they did about you.”
Beomgyu’s staring so hard, he thinks his eyes might just start watering. But the view of Taehyun gazing at him as his eyes glitters in the dim moonlight right there in his childhood bedroom, much less after defending his honor because he cared, was simply something he wanted to commit to his memory.
“You didn’t have to,” he says finally, voice soft as if he’s worried the moment would shatter were he to speak any louder.
“I wanted to.”
Maybe it’s the emotional rollercoaster he’s been put through, or maybe part of him just wants to protect himself before he falls any further. But he can’t help the defensiveness that seeps into his next words.
“You have to stop being so kind to me.”
Frowning, Taehyun only draws closer.
“Stop that, Beomgyu. Stop drawing lines.”
Beomgyu finds his heart stuck in his throat.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m here because I care about you. So just let me do that alright?”
Heart stuttering, he finds himself melting to goo, hands falling limply to his sides as he lets Taehyun set him on his back and hover over him with a soft smile.
“You shouldn’t spoil me like that.”
Taehyun ignores him, leaning forward to press a soft kiss on his lips.
“I told you, I want to. Remember the favor you owe me?”
Beomgyu hums, distracted by the proximity they’re in.
“Let me take care of you. None of that fake boyfriend crap.”
Forgive Beomgyu for he’s only one man, and all he can do is yank the other man closer by the waist before tangling his fingers in his hair.
It was never a favor. Taehyun’s doing him a favor just by existing.
For how urgent and charged sex had always been between the two of them, the gentle yet fervent manner Taehyun’s working his mouth against his, prodding at Beomgyu’s lips with his hot tongue, sends his every nerve on fire like never before.
Parting his lips in a silent moan when the other man slips his hand under his shirt to run his fingers along the expanse of his torso, Beomgyu feels weak, pliant and completely at Taehyun’s mercy.
In the best way possible.
“Hey,” Taehyun mumbles against his lips, “You said you didn’t have the best memories here?”
Beomgyu huffs out a laugh, sliding his hand under the other man’s shirt to playfully draw little cicles along his spine.
“Gonna fix that?”
“Yeah.” It’s soft, sweet, and for a moment, Beomgyu lets himself forget every dark thought, bringing their lips together. This time its sensual, and he lets Taehyun press his body against his, only breaking away to rid them both of their clothes.
"Your parents would be scandalized if they heard us."
"I'd like that," Beomgyu laughs. Talking about anything to do with family is a major boner killer, but when it's Taehyun, all of this feels natural. The closeness, the bantering, the vulnerability he allows the other man to get more than just little glimpses of. All of it feels comfortable. Like coming home after a long day, like having a warm cup of hot chocolate snuggled up with someone you love on a rainy night knowing you're safe.
Knowing you're home.
Beomgyu falls and falls. Lets himself believe for a moment that he's home.
With Taehyun.
Right here in this childhood bedroom that he hates – that he never wanted to call home.
Feeling all of Taehyun’s skin burn against his with not a single layer of fabric in the way is nothing short of intoxicating and all Beomgyu wants to do is let himself share the other man’s warmth.
But apparently, Taehyun has other plans, and he sits up, pulling away and ridding both of them of their clothes.
The whine dies in his throat the moment Taehyun crawls backward, spreading his legs before ducking down to wrap his hands around Beomgyu’s cock.
It’s horrifying – the way the other man knows every single thing that makes Beomgyu go borderline insane. The way Taehyun never fails to indulge him. And most of all, the way it’s Beomgyu who lets himself fall deeper and deeper with every thoughtful action that goes right into his head.
But with the other man giving him teasing, kittenish licks before sliding down his cock painfully slowly, it’s hard for Beomgyu to think of literally anything else, his toes curling as he throws his head back, trying to muffle his moan with his arm.
“Fuck!”
Taehyun quickens his pace, bobbing his head almost enthusiastically, making sure to swirl his tongue around the tip before letting go of his cock with a pop. All before Beomgyu can twitch just a tad too violently.
“You’re so sensitive today,” Taehyun laughs softly, but Beomgyu only whines, pulling him back up. He wants and he wants. Wants to feel Taehyun’s skin against his, lips against his. And all the other man does is indulge him without hesitation.
They take things simple, Beomgyu satisfied with simply having Taehyun nestled on his lap as he rides his fingers. It isn’t the most comfortable position, but there’s hardly many options when Beomgyu wants to both help prep the other man and have him as close as possible.
Greed is such an ugly thing, yet immensenly beautiful when it comes to Taehyun.
“You can fuck me now.” The harried words falling from Taehyun’s lips nearly send Beomgyu into an embarrassing premature orgasm, and it takes many thoughts of the video of some terribly funny spiderman spanking porno meme for him to properly roll on a condom without any mishap.
But all his efforts are gone the moment Taehyun flips him around to lay him on his back again.
“I told you I want to take care of you today,” he huffs, straddling Beomgyu’s hips.
The words combined with the warmth of Taehyun’s hand around his cock has him disoriented and all he can do is nod dumbly, gasping soundlessly when the other man finally sinks down, the heat enveloping him far too much for him to handle.
Hands scrambling to find purchase on Taehyun’s hips, it’s almost humiliating how he isn’t even trying to hide how strung out he already is when they’d barely even started.
Maybe it’s the way he can nearly convince himself the other man cares about him more than anyone could ever, maybe even love him. Maybe it’s just Beomgyu finally letting himself love Taehyun, letting himself acknowledge that he doesn’t have to treat his feelings for the other man with so much scorn.
And there he lies, every muscle tense and about to snap.
“Do you want me to die?”
It’s so random and out of place, Taehyun huffs out a shaky laugh, though the way he quivers slightly, rosy blush running up his neck, assures Beomgyu that they’re both probably in the same state.
“You have to– Hahh– You have to stay alive,” he pants out, lifting his hips slightly before sinking back down and eliciting soft moans from both of them. “You have to stay with me. I don’t want to be alone.”
Taehyun probably doesn’t mean it that way. But Beomgyu’s head is far enough up in the clouds for him to take it and run.
For him to take that very minute possibility that the other man genuinely likes his company, maybe even likes him a little more than a fuck buddy, and run.
And the eager way he starts to meet each one of Taehyun’s movements with a swivel of his hips seems completely natural. Completely perfect. Almost like they’d always been made for each other, and Beomgyu just refused to see it.
It isn’t surprising that neither of them are going to last long, and letting his self-control slip right out of his hands, Beomgyu starts jerking his hips upwards, fingers curled around Taehyun’s hips.
The soft yet embarrassingly constant creaking of the bedframe is the last of his concerns, but he still has a sliver of headspace to be thankful for the longstanding favoritism that left him assigned to the spare room secluded from the rest of the house.
As expected, Taehyun notices he’s drifted slightly, making sure to press a clammy hand on his cheek.
“Focus on me, please.”
The earnesty sends Beomgyu reeling and on autopilot, he snaps his hips up with urgent fervor, sending the other man letting out a comparatively more audible broken moan.
Broken and pretty.
He’s close.
They’re both close.
Beomgyu burns unbelievably hotter.
"Fuck!” he pants, brain cottony as he hits his high and tips over the edge with a punctuated buck of his hips, though he doesn’t stop, hazily forcing himself to soldier on till the other man finally tips his head back, eyes half-lidded as he spills all over Beomgyu’s stomach.
Perhaps he’s hit his limit, not just physically, but perhaps he’s exceeded the threshold of the amount of affection and love he can keep hidden. Because he pulls Taehyun down for another searing kiss, relishing each moan against his lips and he barely processes the words tumbling out of his mouth the moment they part.
“Fuck. Fuck. God fucking dammit Taehyun, I love you.”
It’s the desperation probably. The desperation that has all his rationality dulled.
And it only sinks in when Taehyun flinches hard, ruby lips parted in an inaudible gasp.
Alarm courses through his veins and he has no idea what gave him the balls to confess after a goddamned orgasm.
It’s fucking ridiculous, really.
But what’s more ridiculous is the way he finds himself sitting up, wrapping his arms around Taehyun’s waist hurriedly. He doesn’t give a fuck if he’s killed the mood. The last thing he wants is for Taehyun to think this was some sort of sex-induced bullshit.
“Fuck. I didn’t mean– No. No. Fuck it. I meant it. I didn’t mean to say it mid-sex, but. But it’s true. Fuck what the fuck am I saying.”
He’s rambling, but that’s probably not the least humiliating thing he’s done today.
Taehyun’s expression turns unreadable. “Do you mean it?”
There are so many other things he means. The way he wants to tell the other man he’s been in love for the longest time ever. The way he wants to tell him he’s just been deathly afraid of changing things between them. The way he falls deeper every single time Taehyun treats him as gently as he always does.
But all he can utter out is one word, though the sincerity behind it is overflowing and he can only hope Taehyun understands him.
“Yes.”
“Seriously– Right now,” Taehyun laughs weakly, "only you would say this with your dick up my ass."
"It's not that! It's not because– Look I have terrible timing alright? Good god I didn't mean to—"
Beomgyu has a habit of rattling away when his thoughts are in disarray, while Taehyun always waited patiently till he got them in order. But this time it seems as though he's also run out of patience, taking Beomgyu off guard as he leans in to literally shut him up with his lips.
Confusion prickles at his skin till he registers the giddy smile playing on Taehyun's lips when he pulls away again.
"I know."
"What?"
"I know you like me. I'm not oblivious and you're very obvious."
He lets out an involuntary squeak. Maybe this entire thing was completely out of place, their bodies sticky as they're pressed against each other in a bed nearly too small for two.
"How? When?"
"Hmm… I always had an inkling, but since you were the one who suggested the arrangement, I knew you had your fears."
"I'm sorry," – he gnaws on his lip – "I just don't really…"
"Think you're worthy of being loved? Don't even think I could like you that way?"
"... Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm working it out."
And then realization sinks in. "I just said it because I wanted you to know. It doesn't have to change anything between us."
"What if I want things to change?"
There's no hint of amusement on Taehyun's face, and Beomgyu has a hard time stifling the little sparks of hope blooming petulantly in his chest.
"I don't like you back, Beomgyu."
His world stops.
"I like you. I don't like you back, because I've wanted you way before you realized you had some sort of crush on me."
He leans in closer, eyes sincere and watery, completely stealing Beomgyu's breath.
"I was the one who laughed at all your silly jokes on the first blind date. Because you made me happy just by being yourself. When you suggested being fuck buddies, I thought maybe you're right, what we enjoy from each other may just be company. Just someone to share some nights with. But I regretted it because we just. We just kept doing this."
"This?" Beomgyu finally breathes out, meek and soft.
"Kept behaving like a couple, like we were really in a relationship. One day, Kai just casually made a terrible joke about how good our sex was, you stopped seeing other people once you met me. And I realized, how could I not want more? And when I agreed to this… This fake dating thing. I just knew."
“I don’t want to act like a couple with you. I want you. I want you to be mine.”
"Like a couple?" he parrots dumbly instead.
Taehyun stares back blankly. "Do fuck buddies have pizza while watching Finding Nemo after having sex?"
"... Because it's a cinematic masterpiece…?"
"You're killing the mood."
"And I still have my dick up your ass."
Taehyun blinks, silent seconds passing before he huffs out an incredulous laugh.
"I'm sorry," Beomgyu continues and the other man merely shakes his head.
"It's alright. That's one of the many things I really love a lot about you."
"No. I mean I'm sorry," he repeats, tone devoid of any teasing this time. "I'm sorry I never considered your feelings. What you wanted for us, what you wanted from me, and tonight, even. This whole dinner, pretending to be my boyfriend. I was caught up with how I was feeling, acting like the world was against me. Yet I never considered how you're indulging me. How you're feeling while being so considerate of me."
Beomgyu presses his forehead against Taehyun's, their gazes locking effortlessly.
"I'm sorry I took so long. I love you, Taehyun and I want to give you so much more. Will you let me make up for all the pain I put you through?"
He inhales deeply, blinking his own tears away so he can see Taehyun better. More clearly for who he really is.
Kind, considerate, and so incredibly full of love.
"Will you be my boyfriend?"
-
Life works in funny ways.
It isn’t Beomgyu’s first time trying his hand at relationships. Sure, he doesn’t have a great record which left him believing he wasn’t into this commitment thing.
But whatever Taehyun’s doing is driving him absolutely nuts.
Because in no way did any trashy Buzzfeed or Cosmopolitan relationship manual prepare him for the extremes his boyfriend resorts to, just to see him malfunction.
“You’re drooling.”
Beomgyu finally snaps out of it, narrowing his eyes.
“I’m not drooling and you’re not getting away with this.”
His boyfriend has the gall to grin like he hadn’t just theoretically blue-balled him.
“The steak’s going to get cold,” Taehyun continues, resting his chin on one hand and not-so-subtly flexing his biceps in the most fuckboy way ever.
Now what if that was his final straw.
Beomgyu groans, letting his cutlery fall back onto the plate with an embarrassing clang. Who cares if they’re in an upscale restaurant.
“No one’s looking at the fucking steak, Kang.”
“Ah. Getting the last name treatment. How lucky.”
“How lucky?!” he exclaims, scandalized. “How lucky I am to be blue-balled while you’re wearing a fucking halter top. A halter top in this weather? You’re doing this on purpose!”
“Man’s not cold,” Taehyun jokes.
“Man’s going insane because his boyfriend wants him dead!”
A misplaced silent beat passes and Beomgyu pauses his tantrum, a little confused.
Perhaps also a little concerned if he’s accidentally pissed Taehyun off without knowing.
“Uh… Taehyun?”
The other man snaps out of his reverie, ears tinting red. “Huh?”
“Huh me, don’t you mean?” he reaches out to take Taehyun’s hand in his gently. “What’s wrong? Was I too embarrassing? Did I make you feel bad?”
“No no.” With a huff of laughter, his boyfriend shakes his head. “It’s embarrassing. I’m embarrassing.”
“What?”
“Just– Just got a little giddy hearing it come out of your mouth.”
“Hearing what?”
Taehyun hides his face behind a hand. His sudden bashfulness almost uncharacteristic. “... boyfriend?”
The butterflies in his stomach come first.
And then it’s the most shit-eating grin that splits across his face.
“Stop,” he laments, embarrassed.
“Hey. What do you say… Screw the steak, and we get out of here.”
Taehyun huffs out a laugh, muffled by his hand. “We have a global food wastage crisis.”
Beomgyu squints, miffed as he stabs at his steak with his free hand.
“But if you behave…”
Choi Beomgyu’s demeanor switches up so fast, he’s certain he deserves to legally change his name to Choi Good Boy Beomgyu.
And there’s not a single shred of embarrassment in his blood.