Work Text:
Hi! I’m keeping a diary like Veronica in the "Heathers" musical except this will be much less sad and I’m not forging anyone’s suicide note (which also happened in "Dear Evan Hansen"!). I want to write lists to show Guillermo and Laszlo. Guillermo said he always makes lists if there are things he doesn’t want to forget to get for the house.
(‘Like candles and YooHoos and virgins,’ I said, remembering the list on the fridge. Guillermo wouldn’t tell me what a virgin was.)
This first list is my top 20 tunes!
Track 1: “Overture / Work Song” - Les Miserables
I relate to Jean Valjean a lot. This is what I sing every time Guilermo tells me to pick up my Legos.
Track 2: “Overture/Rock Island” - The Music Man
I performed at Nadja’s club again! YA CAN TALK, YA CAN TALK, YA CAN BICKER, YA CAN TALK!
Track 3: “Daddy Knows Best” - SpongeBob Squarepants: The Musical
I told Guilermo that this song reminds me of Nadja because she says that tickets to the club sell like crazy if they make me the main act, and I'm really raking in the dough! He made a weird scrunched-up face and said he’s going to talk to her.
Track 4: “A Freak Like Me Needs Company” - Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark
Nandor and Marwa babysat me last night since everyone else was busy at the club. Marwa told me that Nandor used to have a ton of kids, though from different moms. I can’t imagine Nandor as a dad because he doesn’t know how to properly play with Legos. He keeps telling me about the importance of “securing the coast” while moving around my “Hamilton” Boston Tea Party build that I made out of the Jake and the Neverland Pirates set. But it got me thinking that I would like to have a sibling because I just have the Nadja doll, and she doesn’t count.
Track 5: “Friend Like Me” - Aladdin
I made a wish to our genie to make a brother or sister for me, but he says that he only makes wishes come true for Nandor. He said that if I want a sibling, then I should ask my dads. I also tried to tell the genie about how James Monroe Iglehart is the BEST version of Genie in “Aladdin” - no disrespect to the late great Robin Williams, of course, but Mr. Iglehart has an amazing stage presence and is incredible at improv. You have to be really BIG to make the genie work on stage when you’re not a cartoon! But he disappeared into his lamp before I could finish explaining.
Tracks 6 and 7: “With a Little Bit of Luck” - My Fair Lady & “Dancing Through Life” - Wicked
I asked Guillermo and Laszlo about getting a sibling and they said: NO . Then I realized the next best thing: I could go to school! I’m sure there are kids who like musicals and Legos that I can make friends with.
Laszlo said, ‘I’m not so sure, Boy.’ He pointed out that he’s been teaching me essential life skills already, so school is unnecessary, and he’s worried that the teachers and students wouldn’t understand my ‘uniqueness.’
Guillermo gave Laszlo A Look and said there are definitely gaps in my curriculum, and then they were arguing about me not knowing modern science or Algebra (‘what the f-k is that? some sort of accursed ritual that you accountants conduct?’). Laszlo brought up my growth spurt and also bullying, as if I’ve never listened to a musical set in high school. Guillermo’s voice wasn’t as loud anymore, and then they told me to go to bed while they talked about it.
Track 8: “Fight the Dragons” - Big Fish
The next morning, Laszlo brought me Pop Tarts in a cup for breakfast. He said that he and Guillermo are still looking into options about my education, but they agreed that it’s important for me to “socialize with my peers” and be exposed to new people and things. They’re enrolling me in classes at the local community theater!!!! I also finally asked him what a virgin was, but he said that Guillermo told him not to tell me - when I’m older, I can ask who exactly they’re bringing over to murder and suck sustenance from to sate their undead appetites.
Track 9: “Loud” - Matilda
For lunch, Guillermo took me to McDonald’s and got me a Happy Meal to celebrate my first day of theater classes. He said he’s proud of me, and did you know - he used to take stagecraft classes at the Staten Island Community College???!! He did behind the scenes tech, and he told me about a production of "The Phantom of the Opera" that fell apart because of diva drama.
Track 10: “Travel Song” - Shrek The Musical
We’re on our way to the theater! Guillermo is driving; Laszlo looks like Lord Garmadon with the way he’s all covered up since the sun’s still setting; and I’m wearing the new pair of Heelys that I got Nandor to wish from our genie for me. I made a special playlist for Guillermo that I know that he’ll like, and he's putting it on the car radio now.
Tracks 11-20: “Seasons of Love” - Rent
When the song began for the third time, Laszlo turned into a bat and wrapped his wings around his pointy ears. Guillermo just laughed, and he sang along with me until we arrived at the theater.