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There was blood all over the floor.
Specifically, Akutagawa’s blood.
They had been at this for well over an hour now. Last week, Akutagawa had started training in hand-to-hand combat with Chuuya. Today, Dazai was marking his progress. He was to charge his mentor and attempt to take him down. The blade in Dazai’s hand served as an excellent reminder of why he had to succeed. Yet here he was, on the verge of fainting from blood loss. Dazai’s knife glistened with his mentee’s blood as it danced between his fingers. Akutagawa attempted to stand but his vision blurred and his knees buckled.
Dazai sighed in disappointment. “Your sister would have been able to at least land a hit on me by this point.”
His mentor’s steps echoed as he walked towards Akutagawa and knelt in front of him. Then, there was a knife at his throat, forcibly pushing his chin up so he had to stare at the Demon Prodigy’s cool eyes.
“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you right now.”
Akutagawa was out of breath from overexertion as he desperately tried to keep his wobbly arms from giving out under him so the blade wouldn’t slit his throat.
“I’ll do better,” he promised. Akutagawa knew Dazai’s patience was running thin. It wasn’t hard to decipher when he was pinned down quicker and hit harder every time he failed. Dazai hummed in consideration, yet pressed the tip of the knife firmer against Akutagawa’s throat, causing the skin to break just enough for a small trickle of blood to flow down. “You keep saying that, yet I see no improvement, Akutagawa-kun.”
“I’ll work harder.”
Akutagawa barely registered the pleas pushing their way past his lips. These sessions always ended the same: Akutagawa on his knees trying to give Dazai a reason to let him live. Dazai studied his face, and Akutagawa wondered if today was the day his mentor would finally decide to give up on him. The blade disappeared from under his chin as Dazai pulled away and stood up. “Clean your blood off the floor, I have more important things to do.”
Akutagawa nodded, even though Dazai had already turned around and was walking towards the door. Akutagawa didn’t have anything to clean the blood off with except…
He took off his black coat, his most valued possession, and started scrubbing. This was a simple task he could complete. Something he could do right for once. Chuuya found him there ten minutes later, trying to fight through the light-headedness as his hand moved in weak circles on the floor. He was still trying to get rid of every drop despite his coat, which was painted with his blood by now, doing more harm than good.
“Ryuu?” Chuuya called in confusion. Akutagawa looked up.
“Fucking Christ. What did he do to you?” Chuuya muttered angrily as he wrapped an arm around Akutagawa’s waist and looped Akutagawa’s arm over his shoulders. Chuuya pulled Akutagawa to his feet, causing the younger to groan, and helped him out of the room, not minding the fact that he was holding most of Akutagawa’s weight.
“Need to finish cleaning it,” Akutagawa protested through tired, fading words.
“You need to get your cuts checked out. I’ll finish cleaning for you,” Chuuya added, seeing how panicked Akutagawa looked at not being able to complete Dazai’s orders. Akutagawa reluctantly nodded and promptly blacked out.
The next day, as Akutagawa was making his way to the training room, he heard Chuuya and Dazai arguing in the hall. He stopped around the corner, not attempting to eavesdrop, but certainly not wanting to get caught in the crossfires.
“You need to ease up on him. He’s trying his best,” Chuuya said.
“If that’s his best, he’ll never survive in this world,” Dazai replied.
They must have been talking about him.
“He’s only been in the mafia for three months with no prior fighting experience. What the hell do you expect him to be?” Chuuya yelled.
“He knew what he was signing up for when he joined the mafia.”
“He joined the mafia, so he and his sister wouldn’t starve.”
Dazai huffed a small chuckle. “The mafia isn’t an orphanage, Chibbiko. We don’t adopt children out of the goodness of our hearts. They are here to be useful assets to the mafia, not to be loved and cared for.”
“I’m not asking you to hold his hand and sing him lullabies,” Chuuya gritted out, “I’m just asking you to not land him in the goddamn infirmary after every training session.”
“I will do what is necessary.”
Chuuya made a noise of frustration and there was a loud thud as something, or someone was slammed into the wall. “I am so fucking sick of you.”
“The feeling is mutual, Slug.”
“Next time you shoot a bullet at his head or hold a knife to his throat, I swear to god you will find yourself unable to walk or move for months,” Chuuya seethed. There was no response. A loud stomping echoed through the hall as Chuuya walked away.
“Are you done hiding, Akutagawa-kun?”
Akutagawa flushed and stepped out from behind the corner.
“I’m sorry, Dazai-san! I didn’t mean to—”
Dazai held up his hand causing Akutagawa to fall silent. “Next time you decide to snoop, make sure you don’t get caught.”
He opened the door to the training room and stepped in. Akutagawa took a breath and followed. There was a part of him, a larger part than he wanted to admit, that hoped Dazai would consider Chuuya’s words. Maybe Dazai would take it a little easy today. No one wants to be the recipient of Chuuya’s fury.
Akutagawa wished Chuuya hadn’t spoken up. If anything, Dazai hit even harder, was even crueler, and definitely did not let up. This was the third time Akutagawa had found himself heaving into the trashcan in the corner of the room.
Sweat was coming in buckets off his skin and he felt horrible.
“Stop shaking,” Dazai said in irritation as he stared Akutagawa down. “You look pathetic.”
Akutagawa nodded and attempted to set himself back up in a fighting position. Even though it was general knowledge Dazai wasn’t a top fighter in the mafia, he was still better than Akutagawa and much smarter. He predicted each move Akutagawa made and responded with a precise hit that would impact his mentee the hardest, often striking his pressure points dead on.
After another five minutes of sluggish swings and useless charges, Dazai finally put him on his ass again. He took a lungful of air but it was cut off by a firm hand around his throat. He looked up at Dazai, who was staring back at him with hard eyes.
He lifted Akutagawa to his feet by his neck, causing the fifteen-year-old to wheeze and scramble to stand.
“Here’s how this is going to work. You have twenty seconds to tell me what exactly you did wrong before I squeeze until all the oxygen leaves your brain.”
Akutagawa nodded rapidly, trying to fight the urge to claw at his neck.
“Start talking.”
“Didn’t block,” Akutagawa rasped. “Too focused on attack. Got sloppy.”
The hand on his throat didn’t let go, meaning Akutagawa clearly missed something. Time was ticking and Dazai’s hand slowly started to squeeze.
“I don’t know,” Akutagawa pleaded. “I can’t—”
“Time’s up.”
Dazai’s grip tightened until sucking in air was impossible. Akutagawa choked on nothing, starting to panic as black spots appeared in his vision. He reached up to pull Dazai’s hand off his neck so he could get in a good breath, but he was too weak to make his mentor budge. Everything started to darken. Akutagawa was powerless as his body became unsteady. The only reason he could still stand was due to the hand around his neck holding his weight.
He was thrown to the floor, and his side flared in pain as he landed on it hard.
Akutagawa gasped, coughing and rubbing at his throat as he drank in the air. Dazai stood over him. Akutagawa couldn’t help but shrink away from his overbearing presence.
“You thought I would go easy on you because Chuuya defended you and told me to soften up,” he chuckled darkly. “If you think Chuuya can protect you, you are sorely mistaken. No one can protect you except yourself.”
He turned away from his mentee. “Your protector may not scare your opponent. In fact, they might be even more afraid of your enemy than you are. Remember this next time you try to hide behind someone.”
As always, Dazai left him alone in the room.
That night, Akutagawa thought over Dazai’s words. He remembered the look on his mentor’s face. He was sure he was imagining it, but Dazai seemed bitter and angry. Usually, when Akutagawa failed, he was disappointed or annoyed, never angry. Today was different. There was something that Akutagawa was missing.
Or maybe he was just overthinking things. That was much more likely.
Dazai entered Mori’s office, mood already dampened. He knew why he was called to Mori’s office and was not eager for this conversation.
“How is young Akutagawa-kun doing, Dazai-kun?”
Dazai kept his posture perfect and straight as he met Mori’s eyes. There was no room in this conversation for hesitancies and doubt. “Akutagawa-kun has potential. He’s progressing steadily every day.”
“Dazai-kun.” Mori’s voice was slow as he drew out every syllable. “You may be an excellent liar, but you cannot fool me. I would like the truth.”
Dazai was silent for a moment. When he answered, his voice was smooth. “The boy has been making improvements. Soon—”
“He was supposed to be ready for missions weeks ago. It seems like you are not fulfilling the task you were assigned," Mori said in annoyance. A smile stretched on his face and Dazai's unease grew. “Maybe I’ll take him under my wing, personally. After all, you turned out to be one of my finest pawns,” The boss purred.
“No,” Dazai said, voice hard. “I will see to it that his training is increased and will take the necessary measures to prepare him for upcoming missions.”
Mori chuckled and slyly asked, “first Chuuya-kun, and now this boy from the streets… who will you protect next, Dazai-kun?”
“As his mentor, his training falls to me. Any consequences he may face for his progression are my responsibility,” Dazai responded in lieu of an answer.
Mori hummed thoughtfully. “If you would like to play the savior, I will allow it. It’s far more amusing this way.”
Dazai dropped to his knees as he knew Mori expected, sitting on the floor in a perfect pose and eyes trained down. There was a knock on the door.
“Just in time,” Mori said, “Akutagawa-kun, enter.”
Dazai’s body went taut. The door opened and the familiar steps of his mentee clicked in the room. This was new. New and very unwelcome. Mori smiled at the younger boy as he hesitantly walked toward them. Dazai forced his muscles to relax.
“Dazai-san…?” Akutagawa asked in confusion as he stared at his mentor. Dazai didn’t reply or move a muscle. Mori wrapped an arm around Akutagawa’s shoulders, smirking when Dazai clenched his jaw but said nothing. Akutagawa had never seen Dazai submissive in any way. He didn’t know what was coming.
“Tell me, Akutagawa-kun, how long has it been since Dazai-kun took you off the streets?”
“About three months now, Mori-san.”
Mori made a noise of acknowledgment and let go of Akutagawa to walk over to his desk and pull something out of one of the drawers. An inaudible sigh left Dazai’s lips. Of course, Mori would choose this implement today. It was his favorite after all. The one that hurt the most and broke Dazai the fastest.
Akutagawa’s eyes widened and he swallowed thickly as Mori ran his fingers over the whip casually. His head turned to look at Dazai, looking for his reaction, but there was none.
“Akutagawa-kun, it has come to my attention that your training has been advancing rather slowly. Dazai-kun would never ask for assistance, but it seems he is doing a rather poor job preparing you to be a useful pawn to the mafia.”
Akutagawa wanted to object, but he fought against it and kept his mouth shut. Dazai was harsh and strict. He was doing everything in his power to further Akutagawa’s skills.
“Three months… I think thirty lashes will suffice. Dazai-kun, suit jacket and shirt off.”
His clothes and bandages were his shield. Mori had never made him reveal any part of his covered body to anyone before. He must have really been pissed. But Dazai would be damned if he didn’t try to defend himself. Before he could stop himself, Dazai was protesting.
“Mori-san—”
“Now, Dazai-kun.”
The Demon Prodigy obeyed without further question and threw his jacket off to the side then unbuttoned his shirt and pulled that off as well. It was fruitless to argue further and would only result in more discipline. Dazai refused to appear ashamed. His expression didn’t change, even when he heard Akutagawa’s sharp inhale at the sight of his uncovered torso. Akutagawa knew there was a reason Dazai covered his skin, but he didn’t expect there to be so many scars.
Scars from burns. Lacerations. Abrasion. Bullets. Most of them weren’t small either. At least all the self-inflicted scars were hidden safely under his bandages. His mentee didn’t need to know how truly weak and pathetic he was.
“Dazai-kun is getting punished because of you, Akutagawa-kun. You are not developing at an acceptable rate. Although it is not solely your fault. Dazai-kun has been going rather easy on you.”
To think Akutagawa’s hellish training was considered easy. Akutagawa was afraid to know what Dazai’s training had been. But if the scars on Dazai’s skin were anything to go by…
Dazai had never hurt Akutagawa in ways that would leave scars like that. In fact, Akutagawa didn’t have one scar on his body from the Demon Prodigy that looked like anything he was seeing right now.
Dazai barely contained a reflexive recoil when Mori’s cold fingers touched his back and ran along the scars.
“As you can see, Akutagawa-kun, Dazai needed a firm hand when he was an unruly, young boy like you.” Dazai turned his head away when Mori’s knuckles brushed his cheek. “You think he would have learned his lesson by now.”
Mori gave Dazai a disappointed glance before walking behind his protege. “I want you to count each lash, Dazai-kun.”
“Yes, Mori-san.”
The sooner Mori started, the sooner the punishment would end. But thirty lashes… Dazai’s usual was twenty to twenty-five, and even at twenty, he could never hold it together until the very end.
Mori wanted this to hurt. Physically and psychologically. He’d ensure that both Akutagawa and Dazai would never forget this. Dazai mentally braced himself.
“Akutagawa-kun, you are to watch.”
Akutagawa shifted his eyes nervously to his mentor’s blank face. Sure, he had heard whispers of Mori’s stern leadership, but the scene playing out right now and Dazai’s destroyed body never came to mind. There was no way Mori would actually do this to his most trusted Executive. He couldn’t… right? “Sir—“
A loud crack echoed in the room. Dazai’s face and position didn’t change. He hadn’t reacted at all to the first whip.
“One.”
Mori continued bringing the whip down, not giving Dazai or Akutagawa a second to pause. He was going at a perfect, torturous pace. The whip came down, and Mori gave Dazai five seconds before the next strike came down.
It gave Dazai just enough time to say the number, but not enough time to get used to the sting before another came down. And the consistent pace made Dazai anticipate the hits, which only made the experience worse. Not moving when he knew exactly when the next whip would come was a challenge that Dazai had to devote too much of his dwindling mental strength to. But he stayed strong and in place.
Until he got to fifteen.
Dazai shifted, the first indication that he was feeling anything at all. Mori smiled. And now Mori had an in. Now, Mori was going to enjoy tearing his apprentice apart in front of his mentee. The whip cracked down even harder on Dazai’s back.
His skin broke. He couldn’t hold back the wince that’d been itching at him since the twelfth hit. Dazai knew how hard Mori must have been hitting to break enough skin to bleed so soon. Usually, Mori rarely drew blood, even at twenty lashes. The thought made him nauseous for what was to come.
“Sixteen.”
The mafia boss brought the next three down in rapid succession, not giving Dazai a second to breathe. Now, the whip was hitting an open wound, making his skin burn even worse than before. There was blood in his mouth due to how hard he was biting his tongue and his hands that hadn’t left their perfect position resting on his thighs were now balled up as he desperately tried to stay still. His face stayed as vacant as he could manage right now.
The mental strain of having Akutagawa here was almost as bad as the whipping. There was a pressure to be immovable. Akutagawa had never seen anything else, and Dazai didn’t want that view to change today. It was exhausting him faster than usual. Another hit came before he could recover, and this time, Dazai couldn’t stop his body from flinching away.
“You were too slow counting, Dazai-kun. That last one was a warning and did not count.”
Dazai nodded. Akutagawa opened his mouth to say something but shut it with an uneasy frown. Good. He wasn’t stupid enough to try to interfere.
Dazai grunted as he endured the next one. “Twenty-three.”
Mori hadn’t been using his full strength because the next crack was louder than any of the other ones. A wounded gasp pushed its way out of Dazai’s mouth. Yea, that one hurt. A lot. His body was forced forward due to the power behind the hit, and the red dripping down his back grew.
Dazai choked out the number before the next two were slammed against his abused skin. His whole body tensed in pain before breaking out into trembles. He barely kept his mouth shut. He wouldn’t give Mori the satisfaction and didn’t dare let Akutagawa see him that pitiful.
“Dazai-kun, I don’t hear you counting. Would you like me to redo those lashes to remind you of what number we were at?”
Everything was spinning and dull. He could barely stay upright as he shook his head. He sucked in a breath and said the numbers. With his greatest effort, they were no louder than a whisper. He just had to get through this. Just a few more.
“Akutagawa-kun. I want you to count the rest of the numbers. Dazai-kun appears too weak to do anything by himself, isn’t that right, Dazai-kun?”
Dazai panted but said nothing. He didn’t have anything to say to Mori right now other than “fuck you” and he doubted that would be appreciated. The sudden hand in his hair, gripping it tightly, and an even more unexpected harsh yank caused Dazai’s head to snap back. Dazai ground his teeth at the bloom of pain and dizziness in his head. Although both he and Akutagawa flinched at the violent action, Dazai’s was much more subtle than Akutagawa’s. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his mentee cowering in on himself and his worried eyes frantically moving from Mori to Dazai’s back to Dazai’s head as he tried to take in the situation.
“I am not pleased with your insubordination today, Dazai-kun,” Mori said lowly. “I have been very generous today. Do not take it for granted.”
If Dazai wasn’t so intimidated by the underlying threat and if Dazai didn’t know that Mori’s words were genuine, he would have laughed. Instead, he jerked his head in understanding before Mori roughly shoved it forward. The dizziness from the sudden movement and blood loss made him wobble dangerous close to tumbling over. Bile rose in his throat.
“You will receive five additional lashes. Akutagawa-kun, you may take them if you would like to help your mentor.”
Both Dazai and Akutagawa turned cold at that moment. Instant fear overtook Akutagawa. This was all because of him, he should take them, but the thought of himself under that whip… If the pain was near unbearable for Dazai, a man notoriously known for his high pain tolerance despite his distaste for it, Akutagawa would surely break after a mere few.
Dazai’s own panic was caused by a promise he made to himself. He wouldn’t let Mori touch Akutagawa or anyone else. Mori knew the deal they had. He could use Dazai, hurt him, torture him, as long as he stayed away from Chuuya and the Akutagawas.
But Mori had found a loophole. If Akutagawa volunteered to take the hits out of his own free will, Mori wouldn’t be breaching their agreement. Dazai couldn’t let that happen.
“No,” Dazai wheezed through his unsteady breaths. Akutagawa looked at Dazai in shock while Mori only smiled sadistically.
“Dazai-san—”
“No.”
He tried to sound as menacing and firm as he could in this position. It must have worked because Akutagawa nodded reluctantly, respecting his mentor’s words. Despite his attempt to be brave, there was relief in Akutagawa’s eyes, and his trembling decreased. Dazai clenched his shaking hands and bowed his head. It was almost done. Akutagawa could leave once this was done, and Dazai could fall apart without his mentee’s eyes on him. A win-win in Dazai’s books.
Dazai didn’t need to see Mori to know the sinister, pleased look on his face. Another thing for Mori to hold over Dazai’s head. Another excellent threat that he could utilize to make Dazai fall in line.
“If you insist, Dazai-kun. Akutagawa-kun, you may begin counting.”
Mori didn’t wait for Akutagawa’s response as he picked up where he left off. Dazai had thirty-five lashes total now. Eight left.
“T-twenty-seven.”
This moment was burned into Akutagawa’s mind. The guilt that consumed him was overflowing.
It’s my fault, it’s my fault, it’s my fault.
Akutagawa didn’t understand why Dazai would take his punishment when it was Akutagawa who deserved the pain. Yet Dazai looked more resolved and focused now. Even when Akutagawa could barely see any skin that wasn’t soaked in blood. Even when Dazai almost blacked out and barely caught himself in time to keep him from crumbling to the ground. Every time the whip forcibly jolted him forward, he returned to the same position, slower each time due to the immense agony his back was enduring.
All to protect Akutagawa.
Why? Why did he do this for Akutagawa? Akutagawa was sure his mentor despised him, but now he was seeing things in a new light. Despite Dazai getting punished for Akutagawa’s incompetence, and Akutagawa was sure this wasn’t the first time, the man never caused unnecessary violence like this. The way he trained Akutagawa made him stronger. His limits were pushed consistently so they could expand, but not to the point where he would shatter beyond repair. Dazai gave no mercy because no mercy was ever given in the real world. Even inside the mafia, Akutagawa was now realizing.
He’d been incredibly sheltered up until this point. Kept in Dazai’s carefully crafted bubble. Chuuya didn’t seem to understand Dazai’s methods either. Was Dazai protecting him as well? How many times had Dazai willingly been punished for an offense that was not his own?
A hiss of pain snapped Akutagawa back to the present.
“Thirty-two.”
The next three were the hardest of them all, one after the other. Akutagawa counted them quietly as muscle spams ran through Dazai and his face scrunched in undeniable pain. Dazai looked ruined. Like the smallest touch would make him topple over. Mori stood in front of Dazai just as Dazai pitched forward, his leg catching Dazai before he could fall.
It was unsettling how they both seemed familiar with this position. Dazai didn’t try to push his weight off Mori’s leg, instead, he let his head rest against it as he heaved and shuddered. Akutagawa could tell he was really out of it. Probably clinging to whatever consciousness he had at the moment.
Akutagawa couldn’t take his eyes off him.
He’d always seen Dazai as invincible. As a terrifying, uncompromising force. Yet a small voice whispered in the back of his mind that Dazai was only two years older than him. Two years, but had been molded into the Demon Prodigy everyone knew him as. Shaped by excruciating pain for the smallest of mistakes and raised in a ruthless, unforgiving environment. A force to be reckoned with. No one saw him as human, not even Dazai himself.
But there was a seventeen-year-old boy in front of him who was bleeding and in pain.
Who was vulnerable. Who sacrificed himself to protect Akutagawa. Who dealt with constant torture that no one saw or knew about.
Two years.
Just two years.
Your protector may not scare your opponent. In fact, they might be even more afraid of your enemy than you are.
Akutagawa understood now. In the worst of ways, he understood. Mori kneeled down and grabbed Dazai’s chin, forcing it up so Dazai’s half-lidded eyes met his own. “You will be better, Dazai-kun.”
Dazai nodded sluggishly.
“Do not disappoint me again,” Mori said calmly. Mori let go of Dazai’s chin and stood, and Dazai’s head instantly dropped down, as if he didn’t have the strength to hold it up. Yet Mori stepped away, leaving Dazai to fumble to brace his hands against the ground to keep himself up.
“Akutagawa-kun, you may leave.”
“Y-yes, Mori-san.”
He bowed and quickly headed towards the door. As he stepped through the door, he glanced back at the boss and his mentor. Mori walked back to his desk, uncaring of the poor state of his protege. Dazai’s arms trembled and he collapsed, letting his body hit the floor with a quiet thud. He didn’t try to move this time, staying still as he breathed so heavily, Akutagawa could see his torso moving from across the room.
The door shut behind him.
Mori set the whip on his desk and crouched next to Dazai. The boy didn’t acknowledge the boss as the man gently stroked his hair. He was too busy huffing and struggling to breathe.
“I’m certain you’ll do better from here on out, hm?”
Dazai’s eyes fluttered close as wooziness and the throbbing in his back made itself known. Akutagawa was gone. He was safe and Dazai could finally let himself sink. Mori patted his head one last time before he got up and sat at his desk.
“You have a half-hour, Dazai-kun then I expect you out of my office.”
A half-hour? He could work with that.
He would worry about how he’ll explain this to Chuuya later. For now, he’d let the cold floor soothe him and let himself doze as fatigue overtook him.