Archive of Our Own

The woods are a scary place; they’re even scarier when it's night time. Add in some thunder and lightning and you have got yourself a terrifying place to be. The full moon offers plenty of light to see where you’re going, but the shadows dance around even more. Most people know that being in the woods, at night, during a terrible storm, is not the place to be. Unfortunately this is where little Eddie Kaspbrak has ended up.

Eddie was only four years old. He had been playing near the woods, against his mother’s rules, and wandered deeper until he had gotten himself lost. He had big, brown, doe eyes that made almost everyone give him anything he wanted. His fluffy brown hair was always styled picture perfect, and his naturally tanned skin was soft to the touch. Freckles peppered his cheeks and nose, and he was smaller than other boys his age. His mother loved to remind him he was fragile.

Eddie shivered as he huddled under a tree, only having a pink polo and red running shorts on; perfect for day time, but not for the night. He was cold, wet, and scared. He had found a relatively dry area under a large tree, small amounts of raindrops still slipping past the leaves. He hoped someone would find him soon. He knew his mommy was going to be extremely upset with him, but he didn’t care, he just wanted to go home.

He couldn’t hear much over the rain, but the sounds he did hear made him nervous. It almost sounded like something huge was heading his way, maybe a search and rescue team? Maybe his mother? She could be loud but not with her movement, she was loud with her voice. He looked around, trying to see whatever was walking around close by.

“H-hello?” Eddie squeaked out.

No one answered, but he was pretty sure he just saw movement in the bushes, so he crawled a little closer to try to get a better view. A large black bear walked out of the bushes, sniffing the air, and looked directly at Eddie. When the bear started to walk towards Eddie, he quickly shuffled back to the tree trunk, whining in fear.

“Nice bear.”

The bear made a low grumbling sound from the back of it’s throat and Eddie yelped. The bear didn’t seem aggressive, but it definitely was not happy that Eddie was there. Another low moaning sound from the bear and some huffing had Eddie shaking where he stood. He began to cry. He didn’t want to be eaten by a bear. He knew he couldn’t outrun it; bears run faster than humans, and he couldn’t climb a tree to get away, bears were the best tree climbers. He always heard that you’re supposed to play dead but even he knew that was a stupid idea.

“No! No! Go away! No!” Eddie yelled, holding his hands out.

As sobs wracked his body, he kept repeating the word ‘no’ and making distressed sounds. The bear didn’t stop advancing towards the small boy. The throaty rumbles sounded like growling, the scariest sound Eddie had ever heard. He closed his eyes and waited for the bear to eat him but that never happened. He heard more growling, not from the bear but much closer to him. He opened his eyes to see a wolf standing in front of him, blocking him from the bear.

“Doggie?”

The wolf barked and then went back to growling. The bear took a step back, making scared little moans. The solid black wolf inched its way closer to the bear, biting at the air and baring teeth. The bear turned around and ran away, the wolf close behind chasing it. Eddie was so confused; did a dog save him? He heard more rustling and he whimpered, but then he saw the wolf come out and slowly walk towards him and approach. The wolf sat down in front of Eddie, bright blue eyes, practically glowing, looking into his own. The wolf seemed to be assessing whether the boy was ok.

Whimpers from the wolf caused Eddie to think the wolf was sad, so he slowly reached out his hand and petted the fur on the wolf’s chest. Happy whines assured Eddie the wolf was indeed ok and seemed to like being petted. Eddie slid his hand up to the wolf’s ears and scratched there, knowing dogs loved ear scratches. The wolf made more happy whines and licked Eddie’s face.

“Eww, no doggie, gross.”

The wolf continued to lick Eddie’s face and tried to lick inside Eddie’s mouth but Eddie’s giggles and protests were enough to get the wolf to stop for now. Eddie smiled. He already felt better, he had a friend! A strange dog that he figured he would call ‘Doggie’ since the wolf seemed to respond to it. Then Eddie wondered if the wolf was a boy or girl, so he ducked his head down to check.

“You are a boy. Like me!”

The wolf huffed air through his nose, almost as if saying ‘duh’. Eddie giggled and then wrapped his arms around the wolf’s neck. His fur was so warm and Eddie felt so safe. Eddie wanted to get home even more now and show his mommy his new dog. He hadn’t sneezed once so he must not be allergic to all dogs, so he could actually keep this dog and finally have a friend to play with.

“We are friends now, Doggie. Ok?”

The wolf barked and Eddie took that as a yes. Eddie started to shiver. Calming down reminded him and his body that he was still wet and cold. The wolf tilted his head to the side and gently pulled at Eddie’s shirt. Eddie figured the wolf wanted to go somewhere so he started to follow. Thankfully the wolf was going the opposite direction the bear went. The rain wasn’t coming down as hard anymore so the storm must be moving past them now.

The wolf stopped in front of a small cave, barked and nudged Eddie towards it. Eddie had never seen a cave before; it was dark and he didn’t know what might be in there so he shook his head. The wolf acted frustrated but walked inside, howled, and then walked back out. Those blue eyes were so expressive. At the moment Eddie felt that the wolf was saying to him, ‘happy now? It’s safe’.

Eddie walked inside, the wolf behind him, and once the wind didn’t touch them anymore, Eddie sat down. The wolf curled up beside him, licked his face again, and nudged at him. Eddie wasn’t sure what the wolf wanted, but he did know he was really cold.

“Doggie, can I cuddle you? I’m cold.”

The bark from the wolf was all Eddie needed. Eddie laid his head on the wolf’s side, as the wolf curved himself around Eddie as best as he could, and placed his tail on Eddie in a protective way. Eddie quickly warmed up. The wolf was warmer than other dogs, and pretty soon, Eddie was asleep, snoring softly. The wolf stayed awake, watching and listening for any danger lurking in the woods.

____

Morning came and Eddie was slowly waking. He felt warm and comfortable and he honestly didn’t want to get up. He felt licking on his cheek and his eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. He was disoriented and confused, looked around, and then remembered what happened the night before when he looked at the wolf. He sighed in relief and gave the wolf ear scratches and a kiss on the nose. The happy bark echoed in the cave and Eddie covered his ears but he was laughing as he did it. The wolf looked sheepish but licked Eddie’s face again and he was still trying to lick inside Eddie’s mouth.

“Doggie! Gross!” Eddie said in between giggles.

Eddie’s stomach growling interrupted them, and the wolf’s ears perked up, then he got up and ran out the cave. Eddie felt so confused and a little hurt, but his smile returned when the wolf returned with a large branch of blackberries.

“You got me breakfast?”

The wolf barked around the branch happily, looking proud of himself, and set the branch in Eddie’s lap. The blackberries were juicy and sweet, and Eddie ate them cheerfully and even offered some to the wolf. At first he refused but Eddie kept insisting so the wolf shared the meal with Eddie. Their mouths were stained a dark purple but they didn’t mind. They weren’t hungry anymore and it was sunny outside! No more rain!

Eddie and the wolf left the cave eventually. Eddie hoped to find the edge of the woods so he could find his way home and bring his new pet with him. He never expected to run into a police officer in the woods. The cop was a white man and he wore a sheriff badge. The name Bowers was on his shirt as well, and the man looked relieved and walked closer.

“Eddie! I’m sheriff Bowers but you can call me Butch. We have been searching everywhere for you. Your mom is worried about you.”

Sheriff Bowers called his team over the walkie, letting them all know he found the boy and to head back and meet up where Sonia Kaspbrak waited. The sheriff held his hand out to Eddie and then noticed the wolf. He quickly pulled out his gun and aimed it at the wolf. Eddie screamed and stood in front of his doggie.

“No! Doggie nice!”

“Son, that is not a dog, that’s a wolf! They are dangerous! Get away from it!”

Eddie glared at the man and shook his head. There was no way he would move. He knew what guns did and he would not let his doggie get hurt after all he did for him. The wolf growled behind Eddie, never looking away from the man who was behaving like a threat.

“Doggie save me! Doggie protect me! Doggie my friend!”

The sheriff looked hesitant, but he lowered his gun and put it back in it’s holster. He held his hand out to Eddie again, pleading with Eddie to come with him. Eddie kept refusing. He didn’t know this man. Yes the police helped people, but he didn’t seem like a nice man.

“Eddie please, your mother is waiting for you.”

“Only if Doggie comes too,” Eddie stated.

Butch Bowers had to meet the demands of a four-year-old, and in that moment he was frustrated but he also was slightly impressed. He nodded his head, and Eddie grabbed a tuft of fur on the wolf’s neck and then started to walk with the sheriff, refusing to hold his hand.

Once they finally walked out of the woods, Eddie saw his mother and smiled. She didn’t look angry, she looked relieved. Eddie waved at her and she started crying. Eddie was so excited to introduce his mother to the wolf, tell her all about how he saved him from a bear, took him somewhere safe, protected him, kept him warm, and then found him food to eat.

Many people gathered near his mother, and slowly all the smiling faces turned into fear and frowns. Eddie’s mother screamed in terror, the other people there backed up, started talking frantically and Eddie was so confused.

“A wolf!” someone yelled.

The wolf flattened his ears and lowered himself to the ground. He looked scared and Eddie was displeased by this. He tried shushing everyone but no one listened to him. Eddie squatted down and wrapped his arms around the wolf, hoping he was comforting his new friend until the screams and shouting calmed down.

“Eddie-bear! Get away from that thing!”

“No mommy, Doggie friend.”

“That is not a dog! That’s a wolf and it will kill you!”

Eddie took personal offense to what his mother had said. She didn’t know him, so he just needed to tell her everything and then she would understand, all the people there would. So he tried to explain but his mother interrupted him.

“Edward Kaspbrak! You get over here right now!”

The sound of a gunshot startled everyone, the wolf yelped and jumped away from Eddie. Eddie looked at the sheriff and saw him pointing his gun to the sky, attempting to scare the wolf away, or at least long enough to grab Eddie and run towards his mother.

“No! Let go! Doggie!” Eddie yelled, kicking and thrashing.

The wolf growled and started towards the sheriff and Eddie when someone else shot their gun in the air. The wolf halted and looked at all the people; a lot of them were cops with guns. Eddie kept reaching out for the wolf, crying and desperately trying to break free.

Butch handed Eddie to his mother and she began to smother him with hugs and kisses and just would not shut up so Eddie could talk. He squirmed, trying to get out of her hold and run back to the wolf. The click of a gun silenced everyone, even Eddie stopped and turned to look at the sheriff. To his horror he saw the sheriff pointing his gun at the wolf. Eddie screamed and hit and kicked his mother to break free.

“No! Doggie! Stop! Don’t hurt him!” Eddie shouted.

The wolf whimpered, looking at Eddie and then back at the man with the gun. Eddie finally broke free and charged towards Butch Bowers, running smack into him. The gun went off but Eddie crashing into Butch caused his arms to fly up and the gun pointed away from the wolf. Eddie had saved the wolf’s life, but when he turned towards him, his heart shattered as he saw the wolf running away, back into the woods.

“Doggie!” Eddie yelled.

He tried to take off running towards the woods but his mother grabbed him. Why wasn’t anyone listening to him? He was so frustrated and now because of some meanie and his mother, his only friend ran away. He cried as his mother tried to shush him and comfort him but he kept pulling away from her affection.

“Eddie, mommy is here, everything is alright. You’re safe.”

“Doggie,” Eddie sobbed.

____

Eddie woke up with a start, looked around and remembered where he was. He was in the car with his mom. They were moving back to Derry, Maine after thirteen years of living in New York. It became too expensive for them so they had to move back into their old house; it never sold so it sat there empty for all that time.

Sonia had moved them away once she realized Eddie would stop at nothing to get back to those woods to find that animal. So two days after the whole ordeal, she packed up everything they had and moved them to New York for a fresh start and to keep her son safe. Eddie was defiant and angry, yelling for the wolf until his mother finally got him strapped in the car.

As Sonia drove them away from their home, Eddie cried and cried. He was completely inconsolable, hitting the window, repeatedly calling for the wolf. Once they passed the sign for Derry, Sonia gave Eddie “candy” and he quickly fell asleep and didn’t wake up until they had made it to their new home in New York.

Eddie was now seventeen years old, at the end of his junior year in high school, and he didn’t care that his mother uprooted them before he finished out the school year. He never had friends, not that his mother let him hang out with anyone. He kept to himself and was labeled the quiet weird guy or the emo kid. He wasn’t exactly sure how he gained that title. Sure, he wore skinny jeans, Vans, and hoodies every day, but he wasn’t dressed in solid black or dying his hair weird colors. He certainly wasn’t allowed to wear makeup.

He didn’t care what his classmates called him. He ignored everyone unless forced to speak, and he read a lot of books. His hair was longer, after he finally convinced his mom to let him grow it out a bit, just until it curled at the ends a little. He wasn’t very tall, around five foot four, and he was quite thin yet still had some muscle, especially in his thighs.

They passed the Welcome to Derry sign and Eddie felt a tug at his heart. He remembered the wolf, remembered why they left, and he remembered hating his mother for a solid month before she finally distracted him enough to where he slowly forgot to be angry. He dreamed about Doggie a lot. Mostly memories from that night, sometimes nightmares where that asshole sheriff had shot Doggie, and sometimes good dreams where he broke free and he and Doggie ran back into the woods and lived happily together.

He knew the wolf would be long gone by now. Wolves weren’t even native to Maine so Doggie must have gotten separated from his pack and lost. Eddie had done an extensive amount of research on wolves. He found out that Doggie was not full grown, quite young, but definitely older than a pup. He smiled at the computer screen when he read about wolves trying to lick into each other’s mouths to show affection. He couldn’t find anything on wolves completely understanding humans and getting them edible food.

He read many true stories people shared of being saved by wolves. Their stories were amazing, but he always felt like his story was better. He wished to share it as well, but if his mom ever found out, there would be hell to pay. He was completely obsessed with wolves, and his mom gave up years ago on getting him interested in anything else.

His mom pulled up to their old house. It was bigger than he remembered and he got out of the car and followed his mother inside. The moving company they hired to deal with the furniture and larger things were already setting up how Sonia had explained she wanted. Eddie found himself wandering around, having vague memories of the house. He then made his way upstairs, his feet bringing him to his room, his body still remembering which room was his.

He opened the door and saw his bed was already placed inside along with his desk. He checked out the closet, and then he tried to open the window. It wouldn’t budge at first, but after the third try the window slowly opened. The breeze felt nice on his skin, the smell of the area familiar, and he felt a nostalgia that he didn’t understand. A thud startled him out of his mind and he turned around to see one of the movers place his chair at his desk.

“Sorry there, didn’t mean to scare you,” the mover, the youngest of the group, said.

The guy had broad shoulders, biceps for days, a handsome face, and bright green eyes. He smiled and of course had perfect teeth, his blonde hair completing the perfect male model look. This guy was definitely in college, probably a family business, and he wasn’t the best at the job he did. Eddie had to listen to his mother rant for an hour on how the young guy seemed lazy and uncaring of the job at hand. The guy started to leave but at the doorway he stopped and turned around.

“I don’t believe I caught your name. I’m Skyler.”

Eddie walked up to Skyler and placed his hand on his room door and then in a very unamused voice he said, “And I’m seventeen,” gave Skyler the finger, and then slammed his door shut in Skyler’s face.

He could not stand when older guys hit on him. It happened more often than Eddie liked in New York. He learned to roll his eyes and tell the bastards his age. Most backed off as they should have, but some, some of them didn’t back off and Eddie was not kind. Every single time that happened to him, he made himself cry, and walked up to an adult telling them how scared he was that an adult man was flirting with him even though he mentioned his age.

Eddie smirked as he remembered the one guy who got arrested because he apparently had priors in the similar category. He then kicked himself for forgetting again to also let the guy know he was not gay. It upset him so much that he never once remembered to do that. He didn’t want anyone thinking he was gay, because he wasn’t. Sure, he didn’t think about girls or jerk off to them, but he was going to one day marry a girl and have a family of his own, so he was obviously not gay.

____

That night after dinner, Eddie chose to head to bed early. He was tired of being around his mom, he was tired from unpacking, and he was tired of being awake. He took his jeans and sweater off and got into bed; he would find his pajama pants tomorrow. For now, boxers would do just fine.

He plugged his phone in, placed it beside his pillow, put in his earbuds, and then played his sleeping playlist that he listened to sometimes. It was mostly screamo music that his mother hated, but he could fall asleep to it just fine so it became his thing.

Thoughts of Skyler popped into his head, making his body feel warm. He never understood what that feeling was; probably anger, annoyance, or frustration. His cheeks grew warmer and he sat up quickly, shook his head to rid those mental images that pissed him off. Clearly he was still upset and needed to calm himself down. Eddie took a deep breath, focused solely on his music, and he felt the unwanted warmth slowly fade.

His sleep was restless. He had bizarre dreams and he tossed and turned all night. When his mother finally woke him up to start the day, he groaned but got up because he knew if he didn’t, he might seem sick and that was not something he needed right now.

Eddie missed a few things from New York; the shower in their apartment was not one of them. Here he had his own. It was much larger, and the water pressure was perfect. The temperature stayed the same throughout the entire shower. Eddie had no idea how glorious a shower could be with the right temperature and water pressure.

Eventually he had to get out of the shower. He hated when his skin started to prune. He dried himself off, applied lotion, dried his hair, and then got dressed. His mom would probably complain he took too long but he didn’t have it in him to care. He was going to feel good today, he would make sure of it.

Coming downstairs and finding his mom staring outside had always been weird for Eddie, but he was also used to it. Sonia was a nosey woman and a gossip as well. He was about to ask her who she could possibly be spying on now. They no longer lived above people walking the streets for unsavory reasons, but she turned to her son and frowned.

“This street used to have fine people living here. It's gone downhill. These teenagers will have mugshots by the end of the year if they don’t already. Look at these hooligans Eddie! These are the ones you stay away from!”

Eddie walked over to the window and he saw a small group of teenagers. They didn’t look like trouble. His mom just hated everyone. He saw a lanky boy with auburn hair, who seemed to be the leader of their group. There was a girl with bright red hair, a boy with curly hair who seemed done with their shit, and there was a tall skinny guy with glasses and black curls.

Looking at that guy, the tall one, made Eddie feel warm. He immediately associated him with anger; he already hated someone and he hadn’t even made it to school yet. Something about that boy really turned Eddie’s gut. He looked like a class clown, making the others laugh, but Eddie was feeling more and more irritated with the guy. They all gathered into a truck, that the annoying guy was driving, and then they were gone.

“Those kids are nothing but trouble, stay away from them,” Sonia said.

“Yes, mommy.”

____

The weekend flew by. All Eddie did was unpack. His mother was supposed to help but he was abandoned after a few hours in, despite her only meaning to watch one show. Now it was Monday and Eddie was getting ready for his first day at his new school, Derry High. He wasn’t nervous, as he knew there were only a few more months left until summer; not like he would make any friends.

After a bland breakfast of oatmeal and toast, Eddie had to double check he had everything. His mother was not pleased about him insisting on walking to school. It was a few blocks away and he wanted that time to be alone and be outside. He fought hard for it and eventually won. His bag held his notebooks, pens and pencils, inhaler, travel size first aid kit, and his lunch.

Eddie felt confident in his outfit choice; he had decided on a dark purple sweater with a matching beanie, paired with black skinny jeans, and his slip-on Vans. Eddie was ready to blend in with the crowd and go unnoticed. He kept assuring his mom that he was fine and once he finally got out the door, he smiled. It almost felt like freedom; he was walking to school without his mother and it felt great.

____

Eddie’s first class turned out to be math; Algebra Two, to be exact. Math was Eddie’s worst subject. He hated it and it was just so boring. Walking into a classroom, where the class had already started, in his worst subject, was not the good start Eddie had hoped for. He walked in, noticed a few of the kids he saw across the street over the weekend were in the room, and tried to ignore how quiet everyone got.

He handed a paper to the teacher, explaining he was a new student and who he was. Waiting for the woman to finish reading the paper was torture and felt like it went on for hours. Eddie stood there, in front of the class, looking at his shoes, praying the teacher would hurry up.

The woman looked like your average teacher; middle-aged, dark brown hair up in a bun, glasses. The name plaque on her desk read Mrs. Nelson. A smile came to her face as she looked at Eddie and then turned to her class.

“Everyone, we have a new student. This is Eddie Kaspbrak-”

A loud commotion startled everyone, and Eddie looked up to see, the guy with glasses standing up, had apparently tripped on his chair, sent everything on his desk to the floor, and caused his desk and chair to be scooted over.

“Mr. Tozier!”

“Sorry!” the guy with glasses yelled as he shot out of the room.

The girl with red hair Eddie had recognized, shook her head, and began to clean up the mess that was left by the glasses guy. She fixed the desk and chair, and then took her seat once again. Eddie took an empty seat in the back, just how he liked and hoped the day would fly by.

“Thank you, Miss Marsh. Now back to where we were. Oh, Mr. Kaspbrak, I’ll review what we did last week for you,” Mrs. Nelson assured.

Eddie pulled out a notebook and a pen, ready to take notes and hoping his old school and his new school were on the same time frame with Algebra Two. He heard whispers around him. Clearly some of the students were talking about the new kid, but what he hadn’t expected was a couple of girls to look his way and giggle when he looked up from feeling their stares. He found it annoying; why would they be paying him any attention? He had zero interest in them so he ignored them any time they tried to get his attention.

Finally, the girls had given up on their attempted flirting. He could tell they were not used to being blatantly rejected and their pouting was a bit comical. Eddie knew how to navigate high school being invisible. He had no idea how to navigate high school being seen, so he tried to seem unapproachable. A friend or two would be nice, but he wouldn’t get his hopes up.

____

Richie Tozier paced in the bathroom, his body jittery and his heart pounding. It just couldn’t be possible. There was no way it was possible. He ran his hand through his black curls and tried to not scream. He felt a wave of nausea hit and he ran to the toilet but he could only dry heave. He hit his head on the stall door and sighed in frustration. This couldn’t be happening. What was he supposed to do?

Earlier in class, he was minding his own business, whispering to Bev and Bill as usual, not even paying attention to what the teacher was droning on about. Then the door opened and a boy no one had seen before walked in. Everyone grew silent, curious about their new classmate.

Richie tilted his head, trying not to obviously stare. The guy was cute, but there was something familiar about him, and he was trying to place where he had seen him, and honestly he even smelled familiar. Maybe the mall in Bangor? He was racking his brain until he heard Mrs. Nelson say his name: Eddie.

Richie’s eyes were wide and all the blood drained from his face. He was white as a ghost, which was saying something, considering how pale he already was. He quietly swore, “No fucking way,” causing Bev and Bill to turn to him. “It can’t be... it's him, guys it's him!”

Richie shot up from his seat, tripped but kept running, even when he heard the crashing and commotion he caused. He heard his teacher speak to him but he needed to get out of that classroom right now. He yelled a quick apology as he ran out the door and ran all the way to the bathroom where he was currently having a crisis.

The door to the bathroom opened and in walked Stan, looking perfect as ever, quietly walking to Richie until he stood in front of him, back to the other stall wall. He didn’t say anything, waiting for Richie to sort out his thoughts. He knew asking questions would only overwhelm his friend even more.

“How did you know I’d be here?”

“Bev texted me that you bolted out of class saying something about it ‘being him’ and she was worried so she asked me to find you. I obviously knew you would come here because you always do,” Stan replied.

“Eddie is here. He must have moved back to Derry.”

“You mean the boy in the woods? It can’t be Rich, that was so long ago,” Stan tried to reason.

“No! It is him! Same name, same eyes, and same smell. Stan, it's him. I don’t know what to do. He can’t ever know, but what if he remembers my eyes? You know practically glowing blue is not normal!”

Stan placed a hand on Richie’s shoulder, trying to help ground him. He could feel Richie breathing heavily and his body was getting warmer as he continued to freak out. He looked into Richie’s eyes and the glowing was getting brighter. He knew what physical changes would come next if he didn’t calm Richie down.

“Hey, you gotta calm down. Breathe,” Stan instructed.

“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down!”

Stan flinched at the quick movement Richie made to point at him, and he noticed Richie’s nails growing longer and sharper, and when he looked up at Richie’s face, fangs were protruding from his lips. Richie’s heavy breathing was starting to sound raspy and Stan looked terrified.

Richie saw fear in his best friend’s eyes and it snapped him out of it. He turned away, facing the stall wall, and tried to take deep breaths. He hated scaring his friends, especially when this started happening because he was feeling intense emotions. He felt Stan’s hand touch his back and start to rub soothingly. He seriously did not deserve Stan as a friend.

“I’m sorry,” Richie whispered when he felt his fangs shrink back to normal.

Stan shushed him and continued to sooth his friend. Richie had told him everything about Eddie, the boy in the woods. Sure, he told the rest of their friends, but he had told Stan first, knowing he could trust Stan, knowing it wouldn’t harm their friendship.

“Stan, as much as it pains me, I have to stay away from him. I don’t want him knowing I’m a mon-”

“Shut the fuck up. We don’t use the M word,” Stan scolded, with no real heat behind it.

Richie turned around and wrapped his arms around his friend. He rarely did it because he knew how uncomfortable Stan could get with physical affection, but the rare moments when he did hug him, Stan always hugged back, knowing Richie needed it. He held Richie for as long as he needed, always letting Richie be the one to pull away.

The bell rang so both boys made their way out of the bathroom and met up with Bill and Bev, who was holding Richie’s stuff out to hand him. The look on her face was clearly amused but Richie could see the concern as well. He decided to catch them up on why he ran out of the classroom, ending up at his own locker. Eddie’s locker was further down but he could still clearly see the face he remembered from so long ago.

“Gross, Bowers is coming,” Bev muttered.

Richie turned to look, noticing Henry Bowers looking pissed off, his gang right behind him, making most of the students in the hall cower. Richie knew not to mess with Henry. He was certified insane at best, but Henry always took things too far. Everyone knew his father beat the shit out of him, so he hurt others to feel big and powerful, but Richie still felt that was no excuse to hurt innocent people.

The blood drained from his face as he saw exactly where Henry was headed, balling his fists, ready to punch someone. Unfortunately, that someone was going to be Eddie, completely oblivious to anything behind him. Richie felt anger swell in his chest. He would not let Henry hurt him, he couldn’t; he failed Eddie once and he would never do it again. Before his friends could stop him, Richie took off towards Henry Bowers, the worst bully in Derry High.

____

Eddie’s locker was bare, but as he stuffed more and more into it, it started to look normal. He checked his phone to see if his mother had started early on blowing it up. He had thirty unread text messages and he groaned as he scrolled through them, mostly reminders of what not to do, to take his medicine, and telling him how much she missed him.

He didn’t expect to feel wind behind him, or the loud thud that came after. He turned to the left to find the guy with glasses, Tozier, straddling another boy with his back to Eddie and his fist raised. The boy under Tozier looked like a typical asshole; sandy colored short hair, grey eyes, and dressed like he tried to look tough. Yep, typical high school bully.

“What the fuck Trashmouth?!” the bully yelled.

“Seriously Bowers? You’re really gonna attack the tiny new kid on his first day? He doesn’t even know who the fuck you are! For fucks sake, at least give the guy time to settle in!” Tozier yelled back.

Being called tiny angered Eddie. He knew he was short but he wasn’t goddamn tiny. He could still grow more, maybe, possibly. It also angered Eddie that some guy he didn’t know felt the need to defend him. Sure, he was about to be slammed into the lockers or something, but this guy was acting like he was weak and needed protection.

“I’m going to fucking cut you and then I’ll have some fun with your little flamer boyfriend.”

The first punch was thrown by Tozier. Bowers looked surprised as blood trickled out his nose. Eddie gasped, never having heard a real punch before; it sounded like it hurt. He could see Bowers grow more furious and he managed to pull something out of his pocket after a bit of struggle. When the light hit the metal, Eddie saw that Bowers was pulling out a knife. This guy was crazy. He was going to kill Tozier.

“Stop! Knife!” Eddie yelled, running to both boys to try to help Tozier out.

Tozier apparently heard Eddie and he looked over to see a switchblade popping out of the hilt, just in time to jump out of the way and miss getting stabbed. Eddie fell to his knees at the bully's side and yanked the knife out of Bower’s hand, accidentally cutting his own in the process. Eddie dropped the knife in shock of the pain. Blood pooled in his hand and he sat his ass on the floor, feeling a bit woozy. He heard another punch land and then someone getting up.

“Shit! I’m so sorry! Are you ok?”

Eddie heard Tozier speak to him. He realized the boy got in front of him and took his bloody hand, then he felt something being wrapped around his palm, then firm pressure. He kept staring at his own hand, feeling a little detached from the world around him.

His chest started to feel tight. He was taking deeper breaths and he knew he needed his inhaler, but where was it? He had it in his bag, but then he dropped it? Yeah, he’s pretty sure he dropped it before running to grab a fucking knife out of someone’s hand during a fight. He felt someone touch his face and he flinched, looking up to see lips; they were moving, which meant they were speaking, and the speaking was obviously directed at him, and was that a tongue ring? Eddie tried to make sense of the words being said to him.

“Shit, what’s wrong? Can you breathe?”

Eddie’s eyes teared up, he shut them tight and shook his head. Great, now everyone would think of him as the idiot crybaby. Where were the fucking teachers? At his old school the cops would have shown up by now. He felt so many eyes on him, but the hand on his cheek stayed and he felt somewhat grounded by that simple touch.

“What do you need?”

“In- inha- inhaler! My b-bag!” Eddie managed to wheeze out.

“Bev! Get his bag, find his inhaler!”

Eddie opened his eyes briefly and looked over to where his bag lay on the ground in front of his open locker. He saw the girl with the fiery red hair grab his bag quickly, rummage through it, and then pull out his blue inhaler. He closed his eyes feeling relieved that she found his inhaler. Bev handed it to Tozier, who shook it, and then held it to Eddie’s lips. Eddie took as deep of a breath as he could when he felt the spray enter his mouth. He held it and then slowly exhaled, already feeling his chest loosening up. He heard it press down once more and he took another deep breath. Tozier pulled the inhaler away and put the cap back on it.

The hand on his cheek slipped away and the world around Eddie started to come back into focus. He looked around to see everyone in the hallway staring at him. He looked at Tozier but the boy was looking away from him, like he couldn’t look him in the eyes. He was probably embarrassed and Eddie didn’t blame him. His breathing started getting back to normal and he put a hand to his own chest, feeling his heart pounding.

“Thank you,” Eddie whispered.

Tozier nodded and took Eddie’s hand to check on the wound. Eddie looked down at it and noticed the cloth wrapped around was the same material as Tozier’s shirt. He looked at Tozier’s shirt and saw that it had indeed had part of it ripped off. How the fuck did he rip off a piece of his shirt?

“Let’s get you to the nurse, you might need stitches.”

Eddie nodded and then felt Tozier help him stand. He looked over to where he last saw Bowers. The bully had sat up, his friends around him trying to check him out. There was a lot more blood on his face and he looked angry but he also looked a bit scared too. Tozier ushered Eddie down the hall, his arm never leaving Eddie’s back. They headed to the nurse’s office and Tozier’s arm slipped away as he started to explain to the nurse what happened.

“Is your hand ok Richie?” the nurse asked.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. Henry may be fucking hard-headed but he can’t break these bones.”

“Good. Let’s take a look at your hand, Eddie, was it?” the nurse asked.

Eddie was thankful that the nurse looked kind. She had a sweet smile, blonde hair, and pretty green eyes. She looked to be about in her late twenties and she wore a name tag with Jamie written in a nice looking font. Nurse Jamie ushered Eddie to one of the beds for him to sit down.

Nurse Jamie grabbed the supplies she would need and then sat down in her chair she rolled over and unwrapped Eddie’s hand. His palm was still bleeding so Eddie looked away; he wasn’t a fan of his own blood. He felt a cold wipe gently clean his palm and winced as he felt the wound stinging.

“Richard Tozier to the principal's office immediately,” a voice over the school intercom boomed.

“Shit, well gotta bounce, hope the hand feels better, later Nurse J,” Richie said quickly before running out the door.

“He’ll be ok, don’t worry, love. It's not the first time he’s been called to the principal’s office and it sure won’t be the last. There, all done! A few stitches and you’re right as rain. Now, let’s just find your info so I can call a parent-”

“Please don’t call my mom!” Eddie begged.

“Well, honey I have to. It’s the rules. Do you have another parent I could call?”

“No, my dad died when I was really young. If my mom sees this, she will confine me to my room for a month, after she takes me to the hospital,” Eddie explained.

“How old are you?”

“Seventeen,” Eddie answered.

“All students under eighteen have to have a parent called. I could lose my job if I don’t.”

Eddie nodded sadly. He didn’t want this kind woman to be fired because of him. He also didn’t want his mother to make a scene and he knew that’s exactly what she would do. How could he even explain what happened to her? He couldn’t tell her he was saving a classmate from being stabbed. She would never let him come back if that was the case.

____

“You didn’t call an ambulance?! Why is my son not at the hospital? He could get an infection and die! What is wrong with you? He needs real medical attention, not someone playing doctor at a school!” Sonia yelled at Nurse Jamie.

“I’m a certified nurse Mrs. Kaspbrak. I chose to work at a school to help take care of kids, I know what I’m doing. Eddie is going to be fine, I cleaned the cut and stitched him up.”

Sonia glared at Nurse Jamie. She could not believe the audacity this woman had to talk back to her about her son. She grabbed Eddie’s arm tightly. He winced but allowed his mother to drag him closer to her. Her perfume was overpowering and it took everything Eddie had not to sneeze.

“I will be speaking to your boss about this! How dare you talk back to me! Come Eddie, we are leaving and going to see a real doctor!” Sonia yelled as she dragged her son away.

Eddie tried to apologize but he was out the door and being dragged down the hall. He needed to get his bag; did Richie’s friend still have it? Did Richie still have his inhaler? He had more at home but he still didn’t like to waste them. He hoped his bag was safe, and maybe they were nice enough to stick it in his locker.

“Eddie!”

Sonia stopped suddenly, causing Eddie to stumble and almost fall. The strong grip Sonia had on his arm was the only reason he was still standing. They both turned to find the source of the voice, and there was Bev, holding Eddie’s bag and running towards them.

“Here! I held on to your bag. I’m so glad I caught you before you left. How is your hand?” Bev asked.

Sonia looked Bev up and down and sneered in disgust. The girl speaking to her son looked like a slut in Sonia's opinion; she wore a red tank top, a denim skirt, and black boots. She knew this girl was trouble and she would not let Eddie be around her. She snatched the bag from Bev, the poor girl stunned from the hostile action, and didn’t give Eddie a chance to respond.

“He’s going to the hospital, not that it's any of your business. I can’t believe they allow you to dress like that in school! Your mother should be ashamed of letting you leave the house looking like a whore.”

“Mom!” Eddie yelled.

“My mom is dead,” Bev deadpanned.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry Be-”

“Edward! We are leaving! Now!” Sonia yelled as she pulled Eddie back.

He yelped, but mouthed an apology to Bev. He was so humiliated, and the look of pity on Bev’s face made it even worse, his cheeks blazing a fiery red. His mother pulled him all the way to the car, silent the whole time which Eddie knew was bad. She practically threw him in the car before getting in herself.

“You don’t talk to that slut, do you hear me? Girls like that only want to make you dirty, she is dirty.”

“Yes mommy,” Eddie sighed.

“My good boy is saving himself for a good clean girl, isn’t that right?”

“Yes mommy,” Eddie repeated.

The drive to the hospital was going to be long, the stay even longer. Eddie was already exhausted before the car even started. He closed his eyes and put his head on the window. Hopefully he could nap before all the chaos his mother would bring to the hospital.

____

Finally home from the hospital, Eddie made a beeline for his room. They had been there for several hours, his mother insisting they run every test imaginable to find an infection she swore he had. The doctors tried to use logic with her and explain that the cut was handled with proper care and there really was nothing to worry about. Sonia didn’t accept that answer. Instead, she made a scene, she yelled, she insulted, and she threatened to sue.

Once the doctors realized the only way to shut her up was give her what she wanted, they began to run pointless tests, draw blood, and anything that would just keep her quiet for a while. Eddie hated it but he had no say in what went on. His mother barely let him speak while they were at the hospital. She insisted she knew best and could speak for him.

Eddie stripped off his clothes and fell into his bed, covering himself in his blankets. He was going to sleep and he didn’t care that he missed lunch. He wasn’t really hungry anyway. For now he would let sleep carry him away into dreamland, away from everything in his life that exhausted him.

Eddie ended up sleeping through dinner. It was around two in the morning when he woke up needing to pee. His hand was sore and it took him a minute to remember why. His bladder felt better and he brushed his teeth, then grabbed the painkillers the doctors gave him and swallowed one dry. He was used to taking pills to the point he didn’t need water.

Back to bed he went, knowing the pills would knock him out. While waiting to sleep he thought about the strange boy who had helped him. He didn’t get a good look at his face, but there was something about him that made him want to learn more about who Richie Tozier was. He was relieved his mother hadn’t seen him. He knew she would have treated him even worse than she treated Bev.

Police lights passing by his window got his attention. He got up and opened his window and looked out. The police cars had stopped at a house across the street and a few houses down. He knew he shouldn’t be nosy but what could possibly warrant two police cars at someone’s house at two in the morning?

He saw the cops getting out and opened the back door to let someone out. They had brought someone home so either someone had been in trouble and needed help, or someone was in trouble. He gasped as he saw the tall boy, Richie, get out of the car. His stance looked like he was annoyed and one officer shoved Richie forward towards the house. The police knocked on the door before lights came on in the house, and the door opened.

“Richard Tozier! What did you do?” a voice that Eddie suspected to be Richie’s mother asked.

It was dead quiet on the street so the raised voice traveled easily. He didn’t hear the answer to the question but watched Richie walk inside and the cops talk to Mrs. Tozier for a while. He saw a light upstairs come on and he figured that was probably Richie’s room. He quickly found out he was correct; the window opened and Richie lit a cigarette and smoked out the window, listening to his mother and the police down below.

Eddie was thankful his room was completely dark and there was no way Richie could see him snooping. Once Mrs. Tozier went back inside, Richie put out the cigarette and walked away from the window. The entertainment for the night was over and Eddie was feeling the effects of the pill. Back to bed Eddie went, and this time he fell asleep quickly, a dreamless drug-induced sleep.

____

Breakfast sat on the table but Eddie didn’t feel like eating it. Dry toast, one slice of turkey bacon, and scrambled eggs with no flavor. He was allowed orange juice so he mostly drank that. He knew if he didn’t eat enough she would refuse to let him go to school and he wanted to go back. He was drawn to Richie and he wanted to learn more, he wanted to apologize to Bev, and he wanted to finish a full day at his new school.

Eddie was the first in the classroom, even before the teacher. He watched as students slowly trickled in. Richie’s friends walked through the doorway but still no Richie. It was almost time for class to start and still no Richie. Maybe whatever happened with the police caused him to stay home for the day. With a minute left before the bell rang, Richie walked in.

“Rich, what happened? You never texted us back!” Bev tried to whisper.

“What the fuck do you think happened Marsh? Phone got taken away until the weekend.”

“I’m sorry. I guess your parents were mad?” Bev asked.

“No shit Sherlock.”

Eddie listened to the conversation but the teacher starting class ended any more details Eddie could possibly get by snooping. It was hard to pay attention and by the time class was dismissed, he realized he hadn’t taken a single note. He gathered his things and as Bev walked past his desk, he chose to deal with the apology first.

“Hey Bev?” Eddie asked weakly.

Bev stopped and turned around, her friends going on ahead. Eddie hoped she wouldn’t be angry. He didn’t want anyone thinking he was like his mom. Bev was so intimidating, a lot more than Eddie remembered.

“Yes?” 

“I’m so sorry about my mom. What she said to you was so wrong and-”

“It's ok. Not the first time that’s happened to me.”

Bev placed her hand on Eddie’s shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. She smiled at him and thanked him for the apology and then left the classroom, leaving Eddie all alone. At least he knew Bev didn’t hate him. Now if he could just speak to Richie…

Eddie rushed to his locker, but by the time he had everything for his next class, Richie was no longer at his locker with his friends. It was no big deal. He would try again after class. Unfortunately the same thing happened again, and if Eddie didn’t know any better, he would almost feel like Richie was avoiding him.

Lunch period was when he finally got close to him. He had started walking up to Richie and his group of friends when he picked up on what they were talking about and it brought a deep blush to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie was behind Richie and after hearing the conversation, he was really glad Richie had his back to him.

“I hate this week, seriously, I’m so fucking horny and can’t get any relief! I jerked off five times already today! Five times! My dick is gonna start chafing!” Richie said a bit too loudly.

“Ugh gross. That means you did that here at school?” the guy who Eddie assumed was Stan asked.

“Duh, everything is just so annoying and literally all I can feel is horny, angry, and hungry!”

“Well you have like what, a week left?” Stan asked.

“Yeah, and I’m craving a juicy steak and sex, not together, well I mean I guess that woul-”

“And I’m officially done with this conversation,” Stan said as he walked away.

Eddie watched Richie follow after Stan and he decided to turn the other way around and not think about why hearing all that affected him so much. He could always try talking to Richie later. He still had more classes left and there was always after school let out.

After two more classes, Eddie locked himself in one of the bathroom stalls. He was tired and he wasn’t in the mood to go to Study Hall, so hiding out in the bathroom seemed like his best option, since he couldn’t find the library or he would have tried hiding out there. Eddie hated public bathrooms, but this one looked to have been cleaned recently so he took his chance.

The bell rings and he waits for the sounds of shuffling feet to die down before taking his phone out of his pocket to play a mindless game for the next forty-five minutes. Right before he clicked on the app of his favorite game, the bathroom door opened and he heard someone go into the stall next to him. He stayed as quiet as he could, not sure if it was a student or teacher. He heard the zipper pulled down but the sound of peeing never came. Eddie was about to just call it there, no way he would hide in the bathroom if someone was going to take a shit.

“Fuuuuck,” a voice quietly moaned.

Eddie’s eyes widened. Was the guy in the stall next to him jerking off? Now Eddie couldn’t just leave, that would be so awkward. He could just stay silent and wait it out. The guy would never know and Eddie would pretend it never happened, problem solved right? Wrong. A few minutes went by and Eddie started sweating. He didn’t remember it being so hot in here. He felt his own breathing pick up, his heart was racing, and he was trying so hard to not breathe too loudly.

He could hear the guy’s hand moving and the small breathy moans. He knew he was blushing, why was he blushing hearing a guy jerk off? His ultimate annoyance was when he realized his dick was hard. What the fuck is wrong with me?! I’m not gay! Why am I hard from hearing a guy jerk off in a public bathroom?! That’s when Eddie had to stop it, it had gone too far with his body betraying him.

“Someone else is in here!” Eddie said softly.

He heard a yelp and then the zipping of pants before the bathroom went silent. Eddie wasn’t sure what to do. Does he leave? Does he stay in the stall and let the other guy leave? He didn’t know the etiquette on these things and he didn’t want to make it worse.

“What the fuck man?! You wait this long to say something?!” the guy hissed.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie squeaked out.

The voice was familiar. He had heard it before, It was definitely a student based on how young he sounded, but he knew he had heard that voice before. He racked his brain trying to figure out who it was, and then it hit him; it was Richie. He should have known! He literally heard Richie tell his friend he had been doing that all day.

“Richie?”

“Oh my god,” Richie groaned, “Who are you?!”

“I’m Eddie.”

“Shit! Eddie! Well this is awkward, huh? I uh, I’m not normally like this, fuck,” Richie said in embarrassment.

It sounded like Richie hit his head against the stall wall. Should he have just let Richie finish and never think about the moment ever again? He’s really feeling like he should have gone that route. Now Richie would never speak to him again.

“I’m so sorry. I panicked and froze. I was just gonna stay quiet until you left but I couldn’t do it anymore,” Eddie explained.

“You were just gonna listen to me jerk it?”

“No! I didn’t mean it like that! It’s awkward like you said! I don’t know how to handle awkward situations! I never had friends or hung around anyone. I’m really fucking new to all this,” Eddie explained, really wishing he could just disappear.

“Were you homeschooled? One of my best friends is homeschooled, sadly it means we don’t see him much.”

“Oh no, I just, I was invisible, but I liked it that way. My mom wouldn’t have allowed me to have friends anyway so it was fine,” Eddie overshared.

He really needed to stop talking before he made himself look like even more of a bigger freak than he already did. Why did he just keep talking and talking when he was nervous? He was internally yelling at himself to stop and he just couldn’t. Richie wasn’t going to want to hear his whole life story. It wasn’t even that interesting.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Everyone should have a friend.”

“I did, once.”

Eddie felt a pain in his chest, thinking about the wolf. That had really been his only friend in his entire life and he only had him for less than a day. Fuck, Eddie was pathetic. No wonder he was invisible, everyone around him can probably tell he’s pathetic. That’s probably why that bully tried to hurt him.

“Thanks by the way, for protecting me from that bully yesterday. I hope you didn’t get in trouble.”

“No problem. I uh, it's not too bad, detention for a month but whatever, it ain’t my first rodeo!” Richie said that last part with an over exaggerated southern accent.

Eddie giggled at the accent. He fucking giggled at an accent that another guy used. He was going to be incorrectly labeled if he wasn’t careful. Richie chuckled, almost like he was trying to make Eddie laugh.

“Your laugh is fucking adorable,” Richie said.

Oh. Oh.

Eddie was not used to being called adorable. His cheeks blushed once again and he felt warm and fuzzy all over. He told himself it wasn’t because a guy complimented him. It was obviously him feeling embarrassed. Eddie wasn’t gay. He would get married to a woman and have kids and be miserable for the rest of his life like any good ‘ol American man.

“How’s your hand?” Richie asked, breaking Eddie from his thoughts.

“Oh, it’s fine. Sorry I kinda freaked out, my asthma acts up when I get really panicked and sometimes I just zone out.”

“No need to apologize. Bowers is an ass for going after you in the first place,” Richie told him.

Eddie found himself smiling. He had put his back to the shared stall wall and it seemed like Richie had done so as well. It was nice just talking to someone. It felt really nice just hearing Richie talk. He was so tempted to ask about last night, dying to know what Richie had done to be brought back home by cops.

“I was caught drinking and spray painting graffiti. I tend to uh, drink and do stupid shit when I’m upset.”

“What?” Eddie asked.

“You aren’t very subtle. You do realize the street we live on is pretty well lit, right? I could see you watching me, you had your head out the window the entire time.”

Eddie gasped. He had been caught. The humiliation washed over him and he smacked his face with his good hand. How could he have been so stupid? Clearly it wasn’t as dark as he thought it was. He had been able to see Richie, but he figured that was due to the front porch light illuminating Richie.

“Shit,” was all Eddie could squeak out.

“Fuck, you’re making this so hard…” Richie muttered under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing! I should go, I was supposed to meet Bev at the bleachers for a smoke,” Richie said quickly.

Eddie heard the stall door open and then he was completely alone again in the bathroom. That was an unusual encounter, but Eddie found himself not caring. He found himself wanting more time with Richie. He didn’t know why he was so drawn to Richie, he also didn’t know why he felt so nervous around him. He smiled as he thought about Richie calling his laugh adorable.

____

Against Eddie’s wishes, Sonia picked him up from school. He had been looking forward to walking alone, quiet, and just being in his thoughts. Of course his mother had to ruin that. She made a huge spectacle of it as well, loudly calling for her Eddie-bear and then kissed him on the cheek when he got into the car. Mortified didn’t even begin to describe how Eddie felt, all those eyes on him, the laughter, the smirks. His mother basically gave the entire school reason to bully him for being a momma’s boy.

Sonia talked the entire way home. Eddie didn’t listen, just looked out the window and tried to think on everything that had happened. Thankfully his mother never noticed when Eddie zoned out when she went on her usual rants. Getting back home was a relief Eddie felt in his bones. He needed away from his mom, he needed some time to himself.

“Eddie, you’ll be helping me with dinner, come on, hurry up.”

If telepathy was real, he knew his mom would have it. She always knew when to keep him close when he just needed a breather. He felt trapped and when she refused to give him a moment to himself, he felt cornered. Eddie’s survival response was never to fight or flight, it was to freeze.

When he was finally able to manage a nod, he carried himself to the kitchen, awaiting whatever his mother ordered him to do. Sometimes Eddie didn’t mind helping make dinner. He had been able to sneak in some salt into the food in the past. Tonight Sonia decided on making roasted vegetables with rice and a salad. That was one of her better meals; at least she added some seasoning to the vegetables.

Dinner was quiet. The mood had shifted and Eddie felt a storm was coming. He knew better than to try to start a conversation. His mom was mad about something, but he had no idea what. She would spring it on him soon, and he racked his brain trying to think of what she could be mad about. He tried to be prepared, he tried to have an explanation for anything it could possibly be.

“So Eddie…”

“Yes, mom?”

“Do you hate me?”

“What? No!”

Sonia huffed and stood up, pulled out a magazine from her apron, and she slapped it down on the table in front of Eddie. The sound startled Eddie, looking to see what damning evidence his mother must have magically found since he didn’t own any dirty magazines. It was a Calvin Klein magazine, shirtless guy on the cover as usual, and he remembered he had put that magazine on his bookshelf. It wasn’t for dirty reasons, after all, he wasn’t gay. He wanted to order some new underwear and didn’t think having the magazine in his room would be something for his mother to get angry about.

“I don’t understand, it’s a clothing magazine,” Eddie said.

“Edward Kaspbrak! The entire magazine consists of men in barely any clothing! Are you a homo? Do you masturbate to this filth?!”

“Eww gross mom! No! I wanted to get some new underwear!” Eddie yelled.

Sonia started to cry, her usual tactic to make her son feel guilty. She started flipping through the pages and shoving them in Eddie’s face, pointing at the half naked men. It didn’t help that Eddie’s cheeks started to blush, he was so embarrassed.

“You’re trying to kill me! You are being a pervert with this smut! I will not allow this disgusting behavior in my house!”

“Mom, I’m not! I’m not gay! I don’t do that. I need new underwear and was looking into the more expensive brands since they should last longer since they are better quality,” Eddie explained.

Sonia stared at Eddie for what seemed like several hours, but in reality was only a minute or two. Eddie’s heart pounded in his chest, no idea where this would go. On more than one occasion she had threatened to take him to church to rid him of the evil inside him, pray the gay away.

“I’m going to choose to believe you this time. I don’t want anything like this to ever be in your room again, if you need new clothing, talk to me. I can buy you clothes, you don’t have to resort to this garbage to decide on clothing.”

Eddie nodded in defeat. All he wanted to do was just pick out and buy his own damn clothes. He felt so smothered, she wouldn’t let him do anything on his own. Eddie was almost eighteen, he should be able to do these things himself. Would she ever loosen her grip? Even just a little?

____

The days kept going and Eddie didn’t speak to Richie. He could never make eye contact. Richie would leave if Eddie started to approach, and sometimes Richie ditched class. After their time in the bathroom, Eddie thought he was finally making a friend, even though the last time they spoke was incredibly awkward.

Watching Richie from afar made Eddie notice weird things, like the only thing he was eating was large amounts of disgustingly rare meat. Little things would set Richie off, stupid little things that caused people to avoid him. He also noticed Richie was constantly getting a boner. It was a weird thing to notice but it was happening quite often. No one would likely notice unless they were constantly watching Richie, like Eddie was, since Richie had been wearing looser jeans and longer, looser shirts.

The day of the full moon, Richie didn’t come to school. It was odd but he figured Richie was sick or maybe just playing hooky. It became weirder when he overheard that Richie was always absent once a month. There wasn’t any logical explanation for this that Eddie could think of. He would never admit that he was writing everything down in a notepad. He wanted to learn more about Richie Tozier. He was drawn to him and he had no idea why.

When Eddie was picked up by his mother again, as she had been doing everyday, he was so annoyed that he could barely keep his mouth shut. Sonia kept asking Eddie if anything was wrong but he continued to tell her that nothing was wrong. He knew better than to fall into that trap. She didn’t really care about his feelings, she just wanted to feel good about herself and have her poor sweet boy come to her for help.

The tension left the car as Eddie opened the door and made his way to his house. He had no homework so he was going to make use of his time and just relax. He would get into his pajamas and get comfortable in his bed and just decompress. He tried to decide on what music to listen to and if he should read a comic or just sleep. The shrill voice from his mother shattered all of his plans.

“Eddie, come help me make dinner.”

“Mom, I’ve had a long day at school, I just want to relax. I have helped you the past several days, please just let me have some time.”

Eddie was hanging up his bag on the hook and was about to take his shoes off. Sonia had been heading to the kitchen, but her son’s response to her demand made her instantly stop. Eddie could feel the anger; she was going to blow and it was not going to be pretty.

“Edward Kaspbrak! I am your mother and I told you to help me with dinner! Get in the kitchen now!”

“Why can’t I rest? Do you want my health to decline?”

Sonia’s face turned red, her glare cut deep. If she were a cartoon, steam would be coming from her ears. Eddie knew it was a low blow, he knew it would piss her off but he didn’t care. He wanted to be alone. She could handle dinner without him for one goddamn night.

“How dare you speak to me that way! If it weren’t for me you would have died long ago, I took care of you when you were sick, I have fed you, and clothed you!”

“I didn’t ask you to do those things! That’s what you’re supposed to do when you have a kid! That’s the bare minimum!”

Sonia stomped closer to her son and then Eddie heard the sound of a slap. He felt the sting come next and his hand instinctively flew to his cheek that was now warm to the touch. The look of betrayal on Eddie’s face had no effect on his mother, she never seemed to feel guilty after slapping him. Tears pooled in Eddie’s eyes from the pain but he refused to let them fall in front of her. He would never again give her the satisfaction of seeing him cry. Eddie grabbed his bag and walked out the door. He didn’t pay any attention to his mother’s screaming for him to come back, he just continued walking straight out of the house.

Eddie walked for a few hours, it had started to get dark but he refused to go home. He ended up on the edge of the woods that he had gotten lost in long ago. In fact, he was at the same spot he wandered into. He knew it wasn’t smart but he did have a flashlight on hand so he chose to check out the area. A gust of wind caused Eddie to shiver. It was getting warmer out but still very chilly at night. He wished he had worn more than just a light sweater but he had left in a hurry.

The flashlight illuminated his surroundings, he saw small animals scurry away from the light, he saw the glow of eyes a few times, but that was mostly from deer. He wasn’t sure how long he had walked for, but the haunting howl that pierced through the air chilled him to the bone. Whatever made that sound was in agony, Eddie knew it was stupid but he couldn’t just not try to find the hurt animal.

His heart was too kind, even though he could very well be eaten by a bear trying to save something that might already be dead. He followed the sounds of whimpers and howls. A dog must have gotten hurt; maybe it was attacked by something. The trees seemed to thin out a bit and that’s when Eddie saw it, a huge black wolf that was caught in a bear trap. 

Eddie gasped as he saw how large the wolf was, much larger than a wolf should be. He looked at the front left leg to see the teeth of the trap clamped down above the wolf’s paw. Blood trickled down, and each time the wolf pulled his paw, a whimper could be heard. Eddie had no idea what to do, he wanted to help the poor creature. Nothing deserved that cruel treatment, but he couldn’t help unless he got close enough. Would the animal let him get close?

Eddie started to walk closer, slowly and softly, hoping not to spook the animal, unaware that the wolf already knew he was there. A low growl made Eddie stop, looking at the wolf to see it staring right at him. He took a few more steps and the wolf bared its teeth and growled louder. Eddie held up his hands in surrender, trying to appear as unthreatening as possible.

“I’m not gonna hurt you. I just want to help. I can take that trap off you, if you let me. I’ll take it slow,” Eddie took one step, and then another, “I can help you, please don’t eat me.”

Eddie had gotten closer, now a few feet away, the wolf was growling more, baring teeth and even snapped a few times. Eddie kept taking his time, he knew he was crazy but he had to try. The wolf sniffed towards Eddie but the growling continued. Eddie was now close enough to touch the wolf and he took a deep breath.

“Alright. I’ll stand here, let you get used to me and then I can take this thing off you.”

Eddie looked into the wolf’s eyes, glowing blue, and then it hit him like a ton of bricks. That was the wolf from his past, the wolf that saved him. He knew it was impossible but here the animal was right in the flesh. He was so sure, but he had to make sure.

“Doggie?”

The growling instantly stopped, the wolf moved his face to stare at Eddie, getting so close that their noses were almost touching. He sniffed and tilted his head to the side, almost as if going through the same thoughts and feelings as Eddie had just gone though. The wolf lowered his ears flat and let a low rumble out.

“Oh my god it is you. You saved my life when I was child and now I can save yours.”

The wolf whimpered as Eddie pulled out his first aid kit and inched his hands towards the trap. The wolf swiftly moved his head bumping his nose against Eddie's and bared his teeth. Eddie knew he should be afraid but he wasn’t, he couldn’t be scared of this wolf. He looked into those blues and gently touched the wolf’s head. That fur was still so soft, he felt bad feeling the wolf flinch under his touch but he swore he felt the wolf slowly start to relax.

“I got you. I know you remember me, don’t be scared.”

The wolf whimpered and then lowered his head to lick at his wound. Eddie started to hum, it wasn’t anything special, but he always found it soothing so maybe the wolf would too. Eddie grabbed both sides of the trap, he had to be quick, he had to be strong, if he couldn’t open it and it clamped shut again, the wolf could very well lose his paw. No pressure. Eddie huffed as he realized he just put all the pressure on himself. He counted to three in his head, and then pulled both sides apart, the wolf yanked his paw free and then Eddie released the trap and it clamped shut once more, the sound of metal hitting metal hurt his ears.

The wolf licked at his wound some more but Eddie picked up the first aid kit he had pulled out and took out gauze, bandaging, medical tape, and an antiseptic that he was worried about burning but he needed to make sure the wound didn’t get infected.

“These things can help you heal.”

The wolf eyed Eddie but sat down and placed his paw on Eddie’s leg, a very large paw that had claws that could easily kill him. The leg was still bleeding but he needed to clean it first before bandaging. Eddie was nervous but he took a deep breath and picked up the antiseptic.

“This is going to sting, but it needs to clean your wound and prevent infections. Please don’t bite me. It won’t sting for long.”

The wolf’s eyes widened as the antiseptic touched his flesh and let out a terrible howl, almost as bad as the first howl Eddie heard. He kept apologizing as he cleaned the open wound and the wolf seemed to be trying to stay still, did this wolf still understand the things Eddie said? It seemed ridiculous but then again, a wolf this size was also ridiculous and here he was, patching him up.

“I honestly can’t believe how huge you got. You’re bigger than the direwolves on Game of Thrones! ”

The wolf made a sound that Eddie could only describe as offended, he looked up at the wolf and laughed as he saw a clearly unamused expression. There was no way this wolf knew what that show was, but it was funny to imagine. He continued on, next he placed gauze all around the wound, then wrapped it with bandaging. He used tape to hold it in place and then he was finished.

“There you go. I hope that feels a little better.”

The wolf whined and nudged Eddie’s hand with his head, how could Eddie decline the wolf’s begging for affection? He couldn’t, so he scratched the wolf’s ears and let his fingers thread through the soft black fur. A large tongue on Eddie’s face startled him out of his daydreaming. He remembered that the wolf used to try to lick in his mouth, so Eddie was ready for it, but he still laughed at the persistence.

“Stop it, I’m not a wolf! You don’t have to greet me like one!”

Eddie couldn’t stop giggling, the wolf’s tail wagged a little and he could feel the wolf getting more playful. He felt his heart become warm, he actually felt happy and when he realized it, it was like a record scratched. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt happy. He thought back and it shook him to his core when he realized that he honestly never felt happy since first meeting the wolf as a child.