Chapter Text
HMS Terror
19 May, 1845
7:00 Hodgson: Welcome to Terror! 🚢🙋♂️🥶 We’re pleased to have you aboard! 🥰😍🤙 Why doesn’t everyone introduce themselves? 😎👀
7:00 Honey: I’ll start. I’m the ship’s carpenter. My name’s Thomas, but you all can call me Tom.
7:00 Johnson: What a coincidence, my name’s Tom too
7:01 Darlington: Hey mine too!
7:01 Farr: Mine too
7:01 Armitage: Yeah mine is too
7:01 Evans: Mine too!
7:01 Rhodes: Hey everyone I'm William
7:01 Gibson: So am I
7:02 Goddard: So am I
7:02 Jerry: So am I
7:02 Shanks: So am I
7:02 Wentzall: So am I!
7:02 Strong: So am I
7:02 Heather: So am I :)
7:02 Sims: So am I
7:02 Aitken: So am I
7:03 Seeley: My name’s Abraham
7:06 Seeley: You can call me Abe
HMS Terror
19 May, 1845
21:00 Hickey: could someone help me with my hammock (^_^;)
21:03 Gibson: Your hammock? Is it torn or dirty?
21:03 Hickey: no i don’t know how to hang it up (＃－.－)
21:04 Gibson: Um. Alright. I’ll be there in a minute.
21:04 Hickey: thank you mr Gibson, your generosity is admirable (uωu人)
21:04 Gibson: No worries. Just doing my job.
21:04 Hickey: your kindness will not be forgotten (´；ω；｀)
21:06 Gibson: k
Terror/Erebus Intership communications (without Command) (aka the good one)
30 May, 1845
13:58 Hartnell: Heads up @everyone: Franklin is walking the forecastle and he’s in a proselytising mood.
13:58 Torrington: While we’re at it, Crozier is prowling around trying to find someone to toast to our health with.
13:59 Torrington: He doesn’t even have glasses, he just taps his bottle against whatever you might be holding in your hand at the moment
13:59 Torrington: He keeps saying “It’s five o’clock somewhere”
13:59 Orren: Gore is walking around the mess snapping pictures with his new camera. I wouldn’t complain except he caught a most unflattering snapshot of me trying to eat my clam chowder.
14:00 Coombs: That was tragic
14:00 Orren: Now look here Coombs
14:01 Gibson: Irving is recruiting for his bible study, so be on the lookout.
14:01 Jopson: Yesterday Edward interrupted my mending to demand that I listen to Rossini’s Thieving Magpie on his gramophone. It wasn’t so bad, actually.
14:02 Jopson: Lt. Little, I mean.
14:02 Armitage: Where would I be without this chat
14:02 Gibson: You’d be in Irving’s bible study, that’s where you’d be.
The (Ship’s) Boys
25 June, 1845
9:27 Young: Lads?
9:27 Young: Can I ask you all something?
9:28 Golding: Sure
9:28 Chambers: Go ahead
9:28 Young: Do you think the men on this ship are a bit… odd?
9:28 Golding: Yes
9:28 Evans: Definitely
9:29 Chambers: For sure
9:29 Golding: But what makes you ask?
9:29 Young: I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Today at supper, Mr Wall told me they were handing out the Bosun’s punch. I couldn’t find any, so I asked Mr Lane where I could get some and he said “right here” and well, my nose is still bleeding. Was I not supposed to ask? Is it a secret?
9:30 Chambers: I’m so glad you said something. So far this voyage hasn’t exactly been all it’s cracked up to be.
9:30 Chambers: I thought I’d be helping the AB’s with the sails, but Morfin’s put me on mail buoy watch every day this week. It’s so boring. I didn’t even know they had buoys this far north.
9:32 Golding: That’s nothing. Just now Peglar asked me to get him a longweight, so I asked Mr Farr to get one for me and he STILL hasn’t come back.
9:32 Evans: Bloody idiots. You’re all being had.
9:33 Evans: David, the Bosun’s “punch” is the Bosun’s punch.
9:33 Young: I figured as much
9:33 Evans: George, there’s no such thing as a mail buoy. Bate’s just trying to keep you out of the way.
9:33 Chambers: What????
9:33 Golding: But then how do we get our mail??
9:34 Evans: Bobby, Mr Farr’s sitting around in the orlop having a smoke. When he comes back, he’s going to ask you “How’s that for a long wait?”
9:34 Golding: But he’s still going to give me the longweight, right?
9:34 Evans: Bobby, you waiting around IS the long wait.
9:34 Young: …
9:34: Golding: Son of a
9:35 Evans: They’re all just pranks they play on the First Entry men. The gullible ones at least.
9:35 Young: Unbelievable
9:35 Evans: I’ll tell you all about it later. I’m busy bilge fishing til afternoon watch. 1
Stewards
30 December, 1845
18:47 Gibson: And have you seen how much sugar and milk Hodgson likes in his tea? It’s practically white. Might as well just drink plain milk. Fuckin gross.
18:47 Genge: He’s gonna give himself die of beaties lol
18:48 Gibson: He’s gonna give himself what?
18:48 Genge: Die of beaties
18:48 Armitage: He’s gonna die of what
18:49 Gibson: @Jopson what is he saying? Decipher this?
18:51 Jopson: I have this chat muted.
18:51 Jopson: For obvious reasons.
18:51 Jopson: Please don’t @ me unless it’s an emergency.
18:55 Hoar: And a happy new year
New Group was created: Stewards (minus Jopson)
2 January, 1846
14:57 Gibson: Now we can shittalk Jop as much as we want
14:58 Bridgens: I understand Jopson can be harsh, but this is unkind... I expect better from you, William...
15:00 Gibson: Yeah you’re right, sorry John. I’ll delete it.
15:02 Bridgens: Good... You know, this reminds me of that time on the Wanderer...
Group was deleted
New Group was created: Stewards (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
2 January, 1846
15:04 Armitage: Thank goodness
15:04 Gibson: Did you hear what he fucking said to me today?
15:04 Gibson: “Turmoil on the inside needn’t show on the outside”
15:04 Gibson: Like okay fucking Socrates, what else you got
Stewards (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
5 May, 1846
Hickey was added to Stewards (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
11:07 Armitage: Hello??
11:07 Hickey: hi :3
11:08 Armitage: He’s not a steward last time I checked?
11:08 Gibson: No one said it had to be JUST stewards.
11:08 Armitage: The group name does, actually
Group name was changed to Stewards (and Hickey) (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
11:10 Gibson: There we go
Group name was changed to Fuck off
Group name was changed to Stewards (and Hickey) (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
11:12 Hickey: finally ಠﭛಠ
11:12 Hickey: i have some amazing ideas for you all o(○｀ω´○)9
Emergency command meeting
26 April 1847
16:16 Franklin: A giant bear, you say?
16:16 Goodsir: I did not get close enough to ascertain its species, but I do believe it hails from the genus Ursus.
16:17 Fitzjames: Pics or it didn’t happen 😐
16:17 Goodsir: I’m afraid I could not get a daguerrotype. By the time I thought of it, the moment had passed. Perhaps I could draw an approximation?
16:17 Fitzjames: Do what you must, Goodsir.
16:37 Goodsir: 
16:40 Fitzjames: That’s really...something, Mr Goodsir.
16:41 Franklin: Thank you for your assistance. You may go now.
16:41 Crozier: adn ill go find a pictureframe for that beauty
Stewards (and Hickey) (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
27 May, 1847
10:25 Gibson: @Armitage Help me with Irving’s laundry? He’s gotten back into the watercolours again and now all his shirts are stained. His artistic aspirations will be the death of me.
10:25 Gibson: I’ll give you my rum ration. And we’ll hide the watercolours better this time.
10:30 Armitage: Can’t, it’s my turn helping Diggle in the kitchen
10:30 Armitage: Ask Jop?
10:30 Gibson: He’s busy with Crozier. The old lushington keeps wanting to drunk text someone named Sophia.
10:30 Gibson: And he’s always drunk, so it’s quite a challenge.
10:31 Gibson: I’d never admit it to him, but I really miss having the extra hand.
10:31 Hickey: not as much as I’ve missed your extra hand ;3
10:31 Hickey: 8====D
10:31 Hickey: 8====D
10:31 Hickey: 8====D
10:31 Armitage: Is that to scale
Irving was added to Stewards (and Hickey) (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
10:31 Hickey: 8====D
10:32 Gibson: WHO ADDED IRVING
10:32 Hickey: shit shit sorry finger slipped (*￣∀￣)
10:32 Irving: What is this?
Irving was removed from Stewards (and Hickey) (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
10:32 Hickey: aha sorted
10:32 Gibson: NO IT ISN’T
10:33 Armitage: If we’re adding people can I add Sol
Tozer was added to Stewards (and Hickey) (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
10:35 Tozer: Hey what’s up
10:35 Armitage: Aha nothing much haha what about you? 😊
10:35 Gibson: NOT THE TIME TOM
10:35 Tozer: Would one of you mind fixing a hole in my sock @everyone
10:35 Armitage: Sure, no problem! 😊
Tozer was removed from Stewards (and Hickey) (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
10:36 Armitage: What the fuck Billy I was making inroads
10:36 Hoar: Did you seriously just use the 😊 emoji
10:36 Gibson: CORN HOW COULD YOU ADD IRVING TO THE GROUPCHAT. THE FUCKING GROUPCHAT WHERE YOU USE THE 8===D EMOTICON. WHO EVEN USES THAT ANYMORE
10:36 Hickey: billy relax it’s not a big deal ┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)
10:36 Hickey: there’s no way irving knows what 8===D means he’d have to ask someone and i doubt he’d do that like how do you even phrase that question
10:37 Hickey: remember when we convinced him that stfu stood for shift the foresail upwards
10:37 Hickey: that is a man afraid of text speak
10:38 Armitage: Wait, he calls you Corn?
10:38 Gibson: Alright. It’s okay. I have a plan.
10:38 Hickey: whats the plan (・∀・)?
10:38 Gibson: Just let me handle it. You’ve done enough.
10:40 Armitage: @Hickey Can I call you Corn?
Stewards (and Hickey) (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
29 May, 1847
Hickey was removed from Stewards (and Hickey) (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
Group name was changed to Stewards (minus Jopson and Bridgens)
20:17 Armitage: Finally
20:18 Aylmore: Aw I was just starting to get used to the little guy
20:18 Hoar: What happened, Billy?
20:19 Gibson: I spoke to Irving. We came to an understanding regarding yesterday’s text incident. Cornelius didn’t see it the same way.
20:19 Gibson: It’s pretty raw right now. I would prefer not to talk about it.
20:19 Armitage: Did you have to explain what 8===D means
20:20 Gibson: Yes :(
Marines
11 June, 1847
8:00 Pilkington: How are things going in the hunting blind? Bag any bears yet? :D
8:37 Pilkington: Hello?
9:17 Pilkington: @everyone Hello??
Command
11 June, 1847
Sir John Franklin was removed from Command
11:45 Fitzjames: Are you fucking kidding me
11:47 Crozier: what I’ve got a dmin aprivilegs
11:48 Fitzjames: WE HAVE LOST SIR JOHN
11:48 Fitzjames: And the first thing you do
11: 48 Fitzjames: IS REMOVE HIM FROM THE GROUP CHAT?
HMS Erebus
11 June, 1847
12:32 Best: How does it know to take our best men? No pun intended.
12:32 Weekes: It took Bryant, he weren’t no best man.
12:33 Best: He was a Sergeant tho? Lol
12:33 Weekes: He was a red-coated conscript 🙄
12:33 Pilkington: Okay wtf
12:34 Pilkington: @Weekes You know everyone on Erebus can read this right? Including the marines??
12:34 Best: Did you hear that it took both his legs? Whacky!
12:35 Coombs: You’ve got it backwards, it left behind nothing BUT his leg.
12:35 Wall: It was cut off above the knee…I suppose you could call that a shank…
12:36 Chambers: This is hitting me so hard man.🥺 We’ve lost our best man, hands down. 😪😭 Without him it’s just the blind leading the blind. We’re lost in the dark. Floundering. 😭😭😪
12:36 Seeley: I WISH we were floundering, it would mean some leads had opened up
12:36 Morfin: I actually have the perfect song for this situation!
12:36 Morfin: Everyone sing along: the_silver_swan.phonograph
12:50 Des Voeux: You do all realize that even if Franklin was still alive there would still be more fools than wise, right? Like I get the sentiment but numerically he was only one guy.
Command
12 June, 1847
7:37 Crozier: hey can someone look over this speech i worte for sir joh’s funderal
7:50 Crozier: GramGore.pdf
7:52 Hodgson: I’ll look it over for you Francis! 🙋♂️👨🎓
7:53 Fitzjames: Francis, Sir John wrote this.
7:53 Crozier: idk what youre talking abuot
7:53 Fitzjames: The PDF is titled Graham Gore. It’s the eulogy Sir John wrote. For Graham Gore.
7:54 Hodgson: Looks great Francis! ✅📜 I was particularly moved by the ladder metaphor, though I do believe that some might find it rather heavy-handed. 😶😴 I recommend seeking a second opinion to ensure its widespread appeal!🔅👍👉
7:54 Little: Did he spell Graham wrong?
7:59 Crozier: wHat’s a pdf
Terror/Erebus Intership communications (without Command) (aka the good one)
12 June, 1847
14:01 Gibson: WHO DID IT
14:01 Best: Did what?
14:01 Gibson: WHO
14:01 Bridgens: You’re going to have to be a little more specific.
14:01 Gibson: I’LL KILL HIM
14:01 Armitage: Billy, never admit that in writing
14:01 Gibson: WHO TOOK A SHIT IN MY BED