Chapter Text
Ajax never understood peace before Zhongli.
Their union is a strange one, almost a paradox between chaotic storm and resolute stone. A blending of things that were never meant to go together— young and old, turbulent and calm, form fluid and form fixed, three names each and both burdened by histories of violence and the chains of duty. What is peace to two who have fought for so long?
Ajax never thought he would fall in love.
Their union was born in conflict. It was only fitting that it should be so, a Warrior God and a Vanguard brought together in political turmoil, each playing his own game, each carrying loneliness like the weight of mountains on his back, each oblivious to the true meaning of peace.
Ajax never knew he could be so much more than just himself.
The best things don’t make sense. The best things are coincidence—a chance meeting of two particles separated by millennia since the universe became many out of one, the heat as they crash together and find new purpose, creation in two things becoming one again. Stardust on a trajectory of destruction, only to be halted by meeting its match. Peace flourishes in the eye of a storm even as it rages and devastates all beneath.
Ajax now knows that only after being shattered can something be reforged.
He felt himself come undone during his trials in Liyue, only to be put back together by the paradox of a god of war looking into his eyes and saying You are my peace. A storm breaks itself against the side of a sturdy mountain.
Ajax now understands that peace is a choice.
Peace is the home you make for yourself, the home you fight to preserve. Homeless, he raged in senseless violence, unaware that the emptiness eating him up inside was a disease born of loneliness and incompletion.
Then he met his match. The only person who could center him, who could calm the storm. Peace was Zhongli’s gentle gaze and strong arms. Peace was living every day by his side. Peace was knowing that only by finding someone equally guilty of violence could he be understood. Only those with blood on their hands can understand the need to wash them clean.
Peace is acceptance. Unconditional understanding, support, love—this was something that Childe never thought possible, and something Ajax knows he is impossibly lucky to have found. Their chance union is a rare and beautiful thing.
From the blood-soaked soil that is their pasts blooms the flower of peace. It is a fragile, temperamental flower, and they work every day to nurture it.
For without each other, they would be lost.
***
Ajax loves the mountains. Every country they pass through, he finds himself drawn to them. He’s safer from the people hunting him in the wilderness than the cities, but even if they weren’t on the run, Ajax would choose to live in the mountains. Jagged, rocky structures, rolling, green slopes, and everything in between…he feels at peace high in the mountains, surrounded by the gentle strength of stone. It more than likely has something to do with his choice of husband.
Once, long ago, Ajax had a dream that he and Zhongli were happy and settled in a cozy cabin nestled in the mountains. So when he saw this abandoned cabin and remembered the dream, he dragged Zhongli straight in.
It took a few weeks to fix it up. Deep in the high mountains of Fontaine, the cabin was a mess of rotting wood and mossy stone. But the well outside functioned, and the woods teemed with resources. After some work, it now makes a suitable home.
They’ve been on the run for three years. The Tsaritsa is still hunting Ajax for leaving her service, and the influence of the Fatui is everywhere. Add to that the fact that Ajax is a convicted and escaped criminal in Liyue and it means that they usually can’t stay in one place for longer than a month.
They knew what they were getting into when Zhongli broke Ajax out of the Qixing’s dungeons and they ran away together. But so long on the run would tire anyone. So when Ajax suggested they linger in this tiny cabin for as long as they could, Zhongli’s relief was palpable. Three years of constant roaming was getting to him after thousands of years of living in the same place.
They’ve been happy for the four months they’ve spent in this cabin. It’s so close to Ajax’s dream that some days it almost feels like a dream itself. Pine trees are everywhere, a lake spreads out in the valley beneath them, and the mountain peaks glisten with snow.
They are entirely alone for miles and miles, and Ajax wouldn’t have it any other way. He loves the mountains, and he loves Zhongli. They can relax together here. It’s strange that even after two years of marriage, the two haven’t had a chance to settle down and get to know each other properly. But now they have, and Ajax falls more in love with Zhongli every day. Life is far from perfect, but in this cozy little bubble they’ve found, Ajax feels complete in a way he never did before.
Every day is a tiny slice of normality and peace. They cook and read and spar. They try to fix up the dilapidated cabin. They plant a garden. They fall asleep every night in each other’s arms. And for the first time since he left home at age 14, Ajax can breathe easy.
He was so lonely before Zhongli. His family shipped him off to the military, terrified of what he’d become after those days he went missing in the forest. He never made any friends in the Fatui, worked to the bone and rising rapidly through the ranks. Everyone treated him with fear or cold loyalty. For years, he repressed every emotion, trained to be a hardened warrior. He thought he was a monster, a detached killing machine. He had no idea how badly he was missing the simple comfort of being loved.
And then Zhongli came into his life. It wasn’t an easy thing, their relationship. So much happened between the conflict in Liyue, Ajax’s subsequent imprisonment, and Zhongli rescuing him when things got bad. But along the way, Zhongli made him feel worthy of love in a way no one had before. Ajax realized who he truly was—not a ruthless killer but just a survivor of trauma. He chose to start a new life with Zhongli, free of the violent world he had once inhabited.
Neither of them is alone anymore. And now every day is spent in a facsimile of that normal life they both so desire. Every day is spent in warmth and comfort.
However, there is something different in the air today.
“Aether’s coming.” Zhongli enters the door without preamble, a letter clutched in his hand.
Ajax pauses where he stands at the stove. “Here?”
Zhongli nods. “I didn’t think they would. In my last letter, I told them how to find us by the elemental traces I left, but I thought they’d be too busy, considering….”
“Considering Lumine,” Ajax finishes heavily.
Zhongli falls into a kitchen chair as if exhausted. The Fontainian clothes they stole still look strange on him, rough wool instead of fine silk.
“Could it be they have news?” he says.
Ajax turns back to the stove, picks up a ladle, and sighs. He really hopes not. Any news Aether’s brought them lately has been bad. And if they’re visiting in person….
“When are they coming?” Ajax stirs the pot.
“They said they’re leaving as they send this letter, so they shouldn’t be far behind.” Zhongli lets out a long breath. “It might be everything we’ve feared.”
Ajax doesn’t want to think about it.
For the continent is coming to war. There are signs of it everywhere—the Cryo Archon’s crusade coming to head with the forces of Celestia. The two of them haven’t seen Aether in months; no doubt they’re caught up in the middle of the action as they always are. Lumine has reappeared, and as far as Ajax and Zhongli know, Aether has been negotiating with her and the forces of the Abyss.
Everywhere they travel, instability has been bubbling. Fear and unrest. Every god and every nation troubled over choosing sides. The threat of yet another genocide. Celestia erased their previous sins from the history books, but this time the evidence of a massive world war would be too much for even them to obliterate.
“Ajax,” Zhongli says quietly, as if reading his thoughts, “I haven’t seen such things since the Archon War.”
“I know.” Ajax grips the ladle.
“But Celestia is coming this time. Even without the archons on their side, I wonder….”
The dread in his husband’s voice is enough to make Ajax’s hand clench. The wooden ladle breaks with a snap. For a moment, he stares at it, frozen. Then Zhongli comes up behind him, face brimming with concern.
“Let’s just have dinner,” Ajax says with a forcibly cheery tone. He finds a new ladle. “And we can worry about Aether’s news when we see them.”
Zhongli accepts the bowl from him, but his eyes remain dark.
After dinner, they wash the dishes together. A silence has settled over them, so unusual to their typical atmosphere. Ajax can’t bear it. When they’re done, he pulls Zhongli into a tight hug, his hands still wet.
They don’t need to speak. The motion communicates enough as they grip each other silently. Zhongli breathes into his shoulder.
They break apart reluctantly and Ajax suggests they work on patching the leaky roof. Physical labor should clear their minds.
But no sooner than they’ve gathered the materials, there’s a sudden knock on the door.
“That soon?” Ajax says. He glances at Zhongli before crossing to the entryway.
He grabs his vision off the kitchen table before stopping to listen at the door. It’s probably Aether, but three years of being on the run has ingrained these instincts in him.
The knock comes again, this time with a voice. “Guys, it’s me.”
Ajax opens the door and Aether is standing there. For a moment, he blinks. Aether’s wearing a dark traveling cloak, shadows under their eyes, and a general unkemptness that means stress. They look almost haggard. Certainly older-looking.
Before Ajax can say anything, Aether’s arms are around him and he almost stumbles back in surprise. The hug is quick and fierce and then Aether looks him in the eye. “I’m so glad you guys are safe.”
Ajax’s usual “It’s been a while” is replaced by “Why wouldn’t we be?”
Aether’s eyes darken. “I guess this place is pretty remote, but you can never be sure.”
Ajax doesn’t know what that means, and it sounds too ominous for his liking. He gestures Aether in and closes the door.
“Aether, how are you?” Zhongli is lighting the stove and grabbing a kettle. The stove is only ten steps from the door in this small room.
They collapse in the chair Ajax offers them. “I’m…surviving.”
Ajax swallows as he sits next to them. “Are you okay?”
Aether shrugs. “It’s been rough. Your old boss is a lot to handle.”
Ajax tries to imagine Aether the ambassador negotiating with the Tsaritsa. He wants to laugh. No one negotiates with her. She doesn’t argue; she explains. She doesn’t lose because she never plays. She is the game, always in the background, always five steps ahead.
“Well, that’s what you’re good at,” Ajax says. “Talking to people, making them see reason. After all the gods you’ve spent time with, she can’t be that scary.”
Aether fixes him with a look of are you an idiot. “It doesn’t matter that we’re allies now. She thinks she can use me. Everyone has their own agenda. And I’m just trying to….” They rest their chin on the table.
The whistle of the kettle cuts through the tension. Zhongli hands out tea as Aether stares blankly at the table. They look exhausted.
For a moment, they all wait for the tea to cool. Zhongli glances at Ajax and he gets the message: they have bad news. He would be able to take this in stride if Zhongli didn’t look so desolate.
“How’s your sister?” Ajax asks into the silence.
Aether lets out a long, deep sigh into their tea. “It’s amazing to see her again, to know that we want the same things now, but…she’s so different. It scares me, the things she’s seen.”
They glance at Ajax, and he knows the fear there. Because he’s seen the same. He still fights like an Abyss Herald after all these years. The things he learned there will never leave him. And Lumine…dwelling in the Abyss for all those hundreds of years….
“No one trusts her,” Aether continues. “It’s hard getting the Tsaritsa to believe we’re all on the same side now. And Lumine thinks she wants to use the Abyss’s forces as cannon fodder, not as real allies.”
Ajax can believe that. They’re such unlikely allies, the Fatui, the Abyss, and everyone else. So many conflicting beliefs on all sides. So much hatred for each other. Aether’s taken on an impossible task.
“None of the things that the Abyss and the people of Teyvat have done to each other matter anymore. We might be enemies, but we have a greater common enemy.” Aether looks at Zhongli. “The gods that have hurt everyone.”
Zhongli stares into his tea.
“You knew everything all along, didn’t you?” Aether says quietly.
Ajax wants to leap to his defense, but Zhongli looks so guilty, so lost, that any words die in his mouth.
“I have made many contracts with many people,” Zhongli says. “Some forced, some willingly. All under the stipulation of silence.” He shakes his head. “I am still bound by those, by the chains put on me by Celestia. You would do better to get the truth out of the Tsaritsa.”
“I’ve learned one thing.” Pity takes Aether’s eyes. “Something I wanted to ask you but couldn’t. The gnosis, the god’s heart, it was used to control you. Like a literal chess piece.”
Ajax’s heart stops as Zhongli bows his head. Is it true? All the times he’s talked about being a “pawn” of Celestia—was it literal? Had they controlled him by the very thing that gave him divine power? Had they used his heart as puppet strings for thousands of years?
“Aether—” Ajax beings.
“I cannot confirm anything,” Zhongli sighs. “But if you know the truth, maybe you can begin to forgive us archons for being unable to help you in your journey. We have no more power than any against those who rule us all. We are defenseless against the Heavenly Principles. And the things we have done in service to them….”
“There’s nothing to forgive.” Aether returns to their characteristic kindness.
“I don’t think your sister would agree.” It’s clear in the darkness in his eyes, things Ajax has only guessed at: the Seven were responsible for the devastation of Khaenri'ah, for the creation of the Abyss.
Ajax’s heart breaks for his husband, for the pain that grows in his gaze. They’ve danced around this subject before, but there was no point in bringing up the past when they were trying to live free. Now the past has found them.
“You gave up your gnosis,” Aether says. “You did the right thing, in the end.”
“After thousands of years.”
“You were using it to protect your people.” Ajax grabs his arm. “To build Liyue. You were helping humanity. You were just trying to do what was right.”
Zhongli sighs again. “I know.”
“We’ve all participated in the system,” Aether says gently. “How could we not, when it’s the fabric of everything around us? You can’t be blamed for trying to survive.”
Despite their arguments, Zhongli’s eyes take on a deeper darkness. “You would not say the same if you saw—” But he chokes on the words. “I can’t say. I…can’t….”
Zhongli bows his head, and Ajax grips his arm tighter. What’s the point of bringing this all back up? The past is done and gone, and remembering trauma can only bring pain. His head snaps to Aether, but they’re already talking.
“You have a choice to make up for it now,” they continue. “We all have a choice.” Ajax stares into their eyes with growing horror as they say grimly, “The war is here.”
Ajax’s body reacts before his mind can catch up. It’s like those days long past, when panic attacks would take him without warning. His breath freezes and his heart pounds louder and louder until he can hear the blood rushing in his ears.
But they knew it would be sooner rather than later. They were foolish to try to ignore it.
“We have all the gnoses now,” Aether continues. “As the ambassador between the Fatui and the Abyss, I’m going around the nations to all the gods and people I’ve met to convince them to join us. Because Celestia is coming for us all.”
Ajax looks at Zhongli. He seems frozen, hands so tight around his teacup that cracks begin to appear. His eyes are darkening by the second.
“I want you two by my side.” Aether doesn’t give them time to process. “The Prime of the Adepti would be very useful in battle. You’ve lived through things like this, you’d know battle strategy better than anyone, even the actual god of war.”
Zhongli lets out a strained sigh.
“And Ajax, you can fight of course, but I could really use your help liaising between the Abyss and the Fatui.”
It’s Ajax’s turn to tense. Why, because they both have a claim on his soul? Because he would understand them better than anyone—the two most bloodthirsty organizations in the world that each in turn have used him for violence, made him a killer?
“But I’m on the run” is the only reply Ajax can give.
“I don’t think the Tsaritsa cares about that anymore,” Aether says. “She has bigger things to worry about. We talked, and she’s willing to pardon you.”
“Why would she want to listen to me?” he asks. “After I betrayed her?”
“Because you’ll know the right things to say,” Aether says. “You know how her mind works. And how the Abyss works.”
He can’t argue with that, as much as he wants to. Put him in a battle—he doesn’t care. But make him talk to the people who destroyed his life, who turned him into a monster? The thought is unbearable, as much as it’s necessary.
“I’m sorry.” Aether’s eyes tighten at his expression. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but….”
But Ajax knows the right answer. It’s not something he can resist.
“You’re right,” he says. “I can be helpful.”
“We’re all meeting in Snezhnaya within the next month,” Aether says. “We don’t have much time. Celestia’s forces are already clashing with a contingent of the Abyss in Sumeru. We need to organize and provide back-up.”
“What’s the Tsaritsa’s plan?” Ajax asks. Even he, a Harbinger, had no idea what her true plan was all along.
Aether grimaces. “That’s exactly my issue. She won’t tell us. At least, she won’t let Lumine in on any of her plans and she knows I’d tell her. But I think she intends to draw Celestia in, using the gnoses as bait. From what I gather, she’s been developing a weapon.”
Both Ajax and Zhongli tense. A weapon? Something to kill even the gods over the gods in the sky?
Aether takes a gulp of tea. “There’s a lot more to tell you guys, but I’ve got to get going.”
Ajax blinks. “You won’t stay the night?”
Their smile is apologetic. “I have dozens of people to meet with. Paimon’s already out there talking to people.” They rise. “I’ll see you in Snezhnaya. I’ve told the Fatui to look out for you, so no one will give you trouble.”
The two accompany Aether to the door, where they step out into the cool air of night they barely just emerged from.
“Stay safe.” Aether casts them a last smile before putting up their hood and jogging off into the darkness.
Ajax doesn’t know how to feel as he watches Aether disappear from sight. It’s like he’s been thrown into the ocean without anything to hold on to. He’s still adjusting to the shock of cold water.
Zhongli is also in a daze as they close the door. He grips the back of a chair. “My duty to the world isn’t done.”
There is heavy resignation in his voice. But also terrible fear.
“The war is here,” Ajax says, still registering. “Everything the Tsaritsa has worked for for hundreds of years, everything I worked for….”
Something odd shifts in the air. A note of hope enters the song, a light melody that plays over the fear.
The world could soon be free. They really could throw off the tyranny of Heaven. It felt like a vague hope, a distant vision, for so long….
It had been such a strange idea at first, when he joined the Harbingers. The common folk knew nothing of the Tsaritsa’s ambitions. Celestia was a normal part of life, something to be revered, something to be looked to. Loyalty to the Cryo Archon came above anything, of course, but they all assumed that she was of Celestia, so Celestia too must be worshipped.
Then he was taught. There were things she couldn’t tell even her most powerful and dear servants, but he was taught enough. Celestia rules Teyvat with a cruel and iron fist. They deliberately warp the truth of the world below to keep them in servitude, to keep them worshipping the gods they have chosen. The very fabric of Teyvat is shaped to their will. Entire civilizations have been wiped off the map for offending their Heavenly Principles.
Every time humanity takes a step towards something greater, every alchemical advance, every bit of technological information they learn from outlanders, Celestia takes as a personal slight. And they will ruthlessly smite those arrogant enough to think they can match the gods.
Their archon could not tell them everything, so the Fatui had to do their own research. They searched the world for signs of ancient technology, alchemical secrets, anything that could advance their cause. They created delusions, circumvented the mandate of Celestia to harness the elements without the oversight of gods. The things Dottore and Scaramouche had researched and guessed at scared Ajax, scared them all. Everything they’d been taught, everything that they thought this world was, had turned out to be a lie.
But now Teyvat could be free.
The contradiction of fear and hope inside Ajax brews like a storm. It’s such an immense thing but also intimately personal. The Tsaritsa will pardon him. He can go home. They don’t have to be on the run anymore. But they also have to face a war….
Ajax looks to Zhongli, who is frozen, darkness decorating his expression. He was right about everything, the fragility of their peace, the imminence of war. And while Ajax feels somewhat hopeful, there is no glimmer of light in the Warrior God’s eyes.
Ajax remembers their wedding (or elopement, to be more precise). At the time, they knew the future was unstable. Ajax said he wanted to experience life to the fullest while they still could. So for two years, they’ve played at marriage, at peace, at a normal life. They two of them were never normal, and it’s what they want more than anything. A life free of duty. To not be killers or gods anymore. To just be Zhongli and Ajax.
But now that they’ve found it, here in this tiny corner of the world, it is all about to be ripped away.
No regret was the foundation of their union. And Ajax could never regret a thing, the incredible experience of finding someone who truly understands and supports him, allows him to finally be who he’s meant to be. He would fight a thousand wars for Zhongli and sacrifice his life if necessary, without a single regret.
It stokes his fighting spirit, the darkness in his husband’s eyes. Their peace is far from safe, and that only makes Ajax want to fight, to rage, to tear this world apart to erase the pain spreading across Zhongli’s features.
He’s far from confident, but he can’t help but feel hope. He believes in them. What can’t they conquer when they are together?
Their life together has only begun, Ajax is sure. He’s always been a fighter, and now that he’s found his peace, he will fight for it.
***
Ajax had a dream the night before he arrived in Liyue Harbor years ago.
He stood in a field of fawn lilies, violet blanketing everything to the horizon. Above, the sky darkened and rolled with black and blue clouds. The wind was strong, buffeting his figure as he knelt among the flowers.
Fawn lilies. His favorite perennial from childhood. They would only blossom in the rare warmth at the end of spring. Entire fields of purple blooming gloriously, only to wither and die within a week.
In the dream, he picked a flower. It was beautiful, a soft violet touched by white that curled around his fingers. Reality twisted and he saw himself in its graceful petals. Somehow, he thought, This is me. The storm above grew and billowed, air cold and rumble of thunder in the distance.
He didn’t understand, at the time, what it meant when the flower dried in his hand. When it shriveled and faded, lost its color and beauty.
He held the flower gently as it crumbled to dust.