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Wherever this was, it wasn’t where he went to sleep.
Granted, Fox couldn’t actually remember going to sleep, but surely it hadn’t been here. It clearly wasn’t his bunk or his office, which meant he definitely wouldn’t have relaxed long enough to even consider sleep. Not that he felt particularly well rested right now.
Here, he saw when he looked around, was a huge hollowed-out cavern, criss-crossed with enormous pillars, staircases and delicately carved statues twisting around snaking walkways that Fox could only see thanks to the night vision in his HUD. It was swelteringly hot, and reeked of smoke even through the helmet filters. Oh, and the whole place was absolutely flooded with gold.
Fox knew a few senators that would do unspeakable things for this much treasure.
Scratch that, Fox knew hundreds of senators that would do unspeakable things for this much treasure.
He rose unsteadily to his feet, slipping on the completely unnecessary amount of loose gold that covered the floor. He scowled.
He really didn’t have time for this. He needed to be back at his office, preferably now, so he could discover just how much time he’d lost. His bucket was having trouble connecting to literally anything right now, and was displaying a garbled error notice instead of the time. Fuck, he was meant to meet Cody on Taungsday. He’d be so pissed if Fox missed it.
Again.
If these blank spots kept getting worse Fox was going to have to report himself, no matter how much he loathed to leave his brothers unprotected from the horrors of the senate and the wrinkled, two-faced shabuir that ruled it. He was losing too much time, and it was going to get someone killed. Probably Fox, but that had been a given from the start.
Coruscant was not a place he was meant to survive.
Well. That was something to worry about when he got back from wherever the hell this was. He scanned the hall again, searching for an exit, or maybe a handy map.
His HUD was picking up a single life-sign close by, large and unfamiliar, but really that meant little to Fox, who worked with dozens of different species daily. Hopefully, they were sentient. Who knows, maybe if they let him have a piece of their hoard to take with him, he could persuade the Chancellor his impromptu trip was beneficial.
Probably not. But a clone could dream.
He made his way across the sliding dunes of gold, sending jewels skittering away from under his feet, making a beeline towards where his bucket was picking up life. Here. He stopped a few meters from where the signature registered, and settled into a parade rest.
“Excuse me, sir,” he said crisply, voice echoing around the space. “If I could have a moment of your time.”
Silence settled heavily over him for a moment, before the hall started to shake. A great rumbling sounded from the pile of gold in front of him, and waterfalls of coins cascaded down its sides as something inside it moved.
The landslide of gold revealed a wall of scarlet scales, the neck of the gigantic creature awakening at his voice. A huge yellow eye, bigger than Fox’s whole head, snapped open and pinned him in its glare.
Oh well, Fox thought distantly. It was worth a shot. I hope Thorn manages to keep a handle on the Guard now I’m gone.
And the thing spoke.
“What,” they hissed, “do you want, thief?”
What Fox wouldn’t give for a cup of caf right now.
“My apologies for disturbing you, sir,” Fox replied, his voice smooth and polite in a way that had been perfected over hours of conversation with entitled senators. “I am not a thief. I was simply hoping to ask for directions.”
They blinked. Their species, Fox noted, had two eyelids – one thin lid that slid over the eye horizontally, as well as the heavy, scaled lid that dropped over the top. The lizard reared back slightly, and cocked their head like a tooka.
“Directions?” Their voice twisted in the air like a snake, echoing not only around the cavern but also in Fox’s mind. His head began to pound, feeling like a colossal weight was pressing down over his thoughts. Great. Jetii osik.
“Yes. Preferably to the nearest spaceport, but just to the exit of this hall would suffice.”
The lizard blinked again. Then their eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What manner of Man are you, who is not tempted by the wonders of my hoard, and dresses in such strange trappings?” They lurched forward, long body uncoiling from under mounds of wealth, revealing vast leathery wings. “Why are you not afraid?”
The final word reverberates violently, and the stone pillars surrounding them shook with the force of their movement. Fox glanced up nervously at the walkway above his head, but it seemed sturdy enough. He looked back at the creature. “CC-1010, Commander Fox of the Coruscant Guard,” he says bluntly, automatically snapping off a perfect salute. “It’s my job to not be afraid.”
The beast hummed thoughtfully, slithering over heaps of gold as they circled Fox. “I am Lord Smaug, King under the Mountain,” they proclaimed, pausing to wait for a reaction that Fox never gave, and huffed irritably. “What is this Guard you speak of?”
“My men and I are tasked with the defence of Coruscant and the Republic Senate.” Not that any of the senators seemed to know that, and considered the Guard their personal slaves. Which was, likely, a more accurate description of their job.
“I have never heard of Coruscant or this Republic,” Lord Smaug mused. “Is it to the South? The East?”
Great. That wasn’t a good sign. If this Lord was so completely unaware of the Republic that they asked for local planetary directions to it, it was probable that he was stranded somewhere in wild space, on a planet with little to no interstellar communication .
“It’s in the galactic core,” he said, clinging to a scrap of hope that maybe this planet at least had some form of space travel. The curious and baffled tilt to Lord Smaug’s head quickly caused that hope to shrivel and die.
“Galactic core?” they asked. “What do you mean?”
Fox abandoned all sense of composure and groaned. “Fuck, if I’m stranded here then this planet had better have some decent caf.”
-
This planet didn’t, it turned out, have caf, but they did have tea. There was a whole storeroom tucked away full of boxes and boxes of strong and expensive teas. Fox made himself three different cups in the first half an hour in the room, and the burst of caffeine was well worth the dusty flavour.
Lord Smaug had decided not to eat him or set him on fire, yet, and Fox suspected it was because they found him amusing and intriguing. Fox was quite happy with that arrangement.
Smaug, it turned out, was a great dragon – specifically, of a subspecies known as fire drake. The dragon had taken great pleasure in informing Fox of the superiority of their race, and their own superiority as the last of their kind.
It did not take long for Fox to discover that Lord Smaug loved the sound of his own voice, and passed many days by asking the dragon a series of questions and letting them fill the space with stories of the planet, Arda, and its history. Though, in Fox’s opinion all the creation story stuff seemed fairly dubious.
One thing Fox particularly enjoyed, however, was the gossip. Smaug loved to talk shit about anyone and everyone they’d ever met, and Fox responded in kind with degrading stories about the senators, the chancellor, and even some of his more irritating brothers.
Overall, it was the most enjoyable and relaxing two weeks Fox had experienced in his entire life, even with the constant threat of incineration.
So of course, someone had to come along and ruin it.
-
They’d been part-way through a conversation in which Lord Smaug tried to explain to him how his brothers were his hoard – it almost made sense, although Fox was convinced that it was simply the only way Smaug could understand caring about something – when the intruder arrived.
The dragon’s head snapped up, nostrils flaring. Fox scooped up his bucket and jammed it back on just as Lord Smaug started to hiss.
“Thief.”
Fox scowled. “Fucker. Where?”
“Above,” they growled, which was exceedingly useless information given the size of the cavern, and Fox resigned himself to following along behind as the dragon clawed his way through the maze of walkways towards the towering roof of the hall. Fox was begrudgingly glad of his Kaminoan-engineered memory that let him navigate the paths without too much difficulty, or else he’d have been hopelessly lost within seconds.
“I can smell you, little thief,” Fox heard Lord Smaug hiss as he arrived, ducking under the dragon’s body where they’re crouched on the walkway. “I can hear your heart racing…”
Fox suppressed a shudder. Smaug could be a creepy bastard when they wanted to be.
He stood in the shadow of the dragon’s head, staying hidden until he located the mysterious trespasser. When it became clear his eyes were useless, he switched his HUD to thermal imaging and nearly jumped at the blurry, glitching figure of a small humanoid that suddenly appeared in the middle of the walkway.
“You cannot hide from me, little thief,” Smaug chuckled. “Show yourself. Step into the light.”
The figure backed away slowly, edging its way towards escape. Fox unholstered his blaster, and pointedly set it to stun. There was no need for casualties, yet.
“There is something about you, something you carry,” Smaug mused, talons landing heavily on the stone beneath them as they moved inexorably forward with Fox creeping unseen beneath. “Something oh so precious…”
The figure lurched away, fast, but not fast enough. Fox’s reflexes were honed in Coruscant’s underbelly, where someone moving like that usually ends in a stab wound. His blaster was up and a bolt fired before the figure could even make three paces. They drop hard, and Fox lowers his weapon.
Smaug tilted their head down to look at him. “What was that?”
“Stun bolt,” Fox replied as he approached the still body. “They’ll be unconscious for a good few hours, at least.” He hauled the figure up, their small stature making it easy to sling them over his shoulder. Force, he thought, grimacing under his helmet, he hoped they weren’t a child.
“Hmm… And you can see them with your heat-vision?” Smaug inquired as they made their way across the cavern towards the open area above the storerooms.
“Yeah. The image was pretty blurry though,” Fox frowned. Perhaps a species quirk, or cloaking tech? but no, this planet was too backward to have encountered thermal imaging like his– “They’re short though – do they smell like one of those dwarves you talked about?”
Smaug rumbled. “It smells of dwarf, yes, but it is not one itself,” they decided. “I expect it was sent in to do the dirty work while the others lurk outside.”
“Makes sense,” Fox replied, as he picked his way down a set of crumbling stairs. “So, if not a dwarf, what are they?”
Smaug leapt from the top of the staircase, their wings unfolding gracefully to let them glide down into the open space below. “I am not certain,” the dragon admitted, almost defensive. “I am unfamiliar with its scent.”
Fox hummed. “I guess we’ll just have to ask when they wake up.”
He set the being down on the floor, leaning against a pillar, and grabbed their wrists to cuff them. The movement jostled the figure, and suddenly they were visible as a simple gold ring slipped down and bounced on the floor. Fox reared back in shock.
Smaug laughed behind him. “Well, I suppose that solves one mystery,” they said, slinking closer. “The little thief got its paws on a Ring of Power.”
Fox raised an eyebrow, and Smaug laughed again. “That ring,” they told him, “Possesses a great and powerful magic. In time it would swallow this creature’s mind, twisting their will to align with its own.”
“Huh.” He looked down at the unassuming piece of jewellery, and gingerly moved it away from the prisoner with his foot. “Sounds like some politicians I know.”
The dragon’s snort nearly knocked Fox off his feet. “You are a strange one, Commander Fox.”
Smaug leaned down and snagged the ring on the tip of a claw, eyes hungry. “Such a precious piece,” they crooned, and Fix eyed them warily. If this ring really had the power that Smaug claimed, then it may be time for Fox to take his leave. Then Smaug huffed, dismissively. “But I prefer my mind my own.”
They let the ring tumble to the floor once more, before breathing a great, scorching plume of fire down after it. Fox brought up a hand to shield his eyes. Smaug growled and leaned in further, the heat rising, almost unbearable, Fox turned away–
A great blast of energy knocked him of his feet and slammed him into the wall behind him. He blacked out.
-
Fox really needed to stop waking up places that he wasn’t before.
He stared despondently up at the familiar ceiling of the senate building, and fought back a sigh. Just as things were beginning to get interesting.
Groaning, he pushed himself up to standing and swayed for a second, distantly glad that no senators had walked by to see the Commander of the Guard passed out on the floor like a drunken shiny. He began the process of reconnecting to the Guard network, when he was interrupted by an irritated rumbling.
An awfully familiar rumbling, that he had heard many times over the past two weeks. He turned, and had to suppress an undiplomatic snort at the sight of Lord Smaug crammed awkwardly into the senate corridor. Smaug scowled, twisting angrily to get all of his limbs in the correct order on the floor.
“Where are we?” they snarled, their tough hide scraping long gouges into walls as they moved. Fox ruthlessly squashed the spark of glee he felt as he watched the destruction.
“This,” he replied, “is where I work. I’m afraid it really wasn’t designed for anyone of your build, Lord.”
“Clearly,” Smaug huffed, as they finally managed to settle themselves into an almost-comfortable position. “Useless Men.”
Fox hummed, and opened his mouth to respond, when they were rudely interrupted. Again.
“Fox?” came a shocked voice from behind him. “What the – where the hell have you been you been you asshole? You’ve been missing for– holy shit what is that.”
Fox smirked. “Lord Smaug,” he said, grinning. “Meet my younger brother, Commander Thorn. Thorn, this is Lord Smaug, King under the Mountain.”
Thorn was gaping behind his bucket, Fox knew. It took a few moments for the man to pull himself together and stammer out “M– My Lord.”
“Commander Thorn,” Smaug rumbled, and Fox was familiar enough with their voice by now to know the dragon was amused. “I have heard many things.”
“Thorn, take us to the Rotunda,” Fox ordered, before his vod’ika could get a word in edgeways. “Lord Smaug needs more space.”
Just like Fox, Thorn had plenty of experience in hiding behind a professional mask, and he straightened into a perfect salute. “Right this way, sir,” he barked, and turned swiftly on his heel to march down the corridor. Fox matched his pace exactly, and Smaug clawed his way through behind them.
Fox’s internal comm crackled to life. “What do they mean, ‘I’ve heard a great many things’?” Thorn’s whispered frantically in his ear. “Fox, what the hell have you been up to?”
“I really don’t know any more than you do Thorn,” Fox murmured back gently. Force, it must have been hell for Thorn trying to fill Fox’s shoes while he’d been missing. “I showed up in Smaug’s lair, there was no way off planet, and then suddenly we’re here.”
“You know that sounds insane, right?”
“Yeah,” he huffed. “I’m sorry, vod’ika.”
He heard Thorn sigh. “Yeah, me too. Your job is hard, ori’vod. I hope you had fun cosying up with the giant fucking lizard while it lasted, because we are so busy right now.”
“That ‘giant fucking lizard’ with excellent hearing,” said Smaug from behind them. Thorn practically leapt out of his skin at their voice.
“Sir! I– I’m sorry, I didn’t mean offence– ” Thorn stuttered, and Smaug grinned, showing off rows of glistening teeth, white as a shiny’s chestplate. Thorn unconsciously shifted closer to Fox.
“I’m sure you didn’t, little Commander,” Smaug hissed. “You need not worry. I will not touch Fox’s hoard.”
Thorn eyed the dragon warily, as Fox looked on, amused. He had to admit, this hoard idea was growing on him – especially if it continued to leave Thorn speechless.
Unfortunately, the stare-down would have to be cut short if they didn’t want to be interrupted by some senator or other before they reached their destination. It was a miracle they hadn’t run into one already. The Senate must be in session.
“Come on, we aren’t far,” he announced, snapping the pair out of their reverie.
“Excellent,” Smaug growled. “This tunnel is awful.”
-
Fox and Thorn stepped out onto the closest pod-anchor, and stared out into the Senate Dome. The Senate was indeed in session, and Fox stared up at the Chancellor, stood high in the central podium, arms wide, earnestly speaking to the gathered Senators about something-or-other. Fox was distracted by Smaug’s threatening hiss as they started to haul themselves towards open space.
“Lord Smaug?” he asked, almost wary. While he trusted Smaug far more than any other natborn he’d met, that didn’t mean the dragon wasn’t exceedingly dangerous. The risk of incineration was low, but never zero.
“That is your Chancellor, correct?” they snarled, eyes narrowed to slits. Fox nodded suspiciously – he had told many unflattering stories about the Chancellor in his time stuck on Arda, and was beginning to regret that now. Smaug hissed again. “A corrupted spirit trapped in a rotting vessel, wielding a strength it cannot comprehend.”
“My Lord,” Fox placated uselessly. “The Chancellor isn’t that bad– ”
“I will devour it,” came the reply, and Smaug shoved out of the corridor and into the open space, wings outstretched to grip the walls for leverage, sending Senators scattering in panic. Screams echo through the Dome, and Smaug seemed to relish in the sound.
“I am the Lord Smaug,” the dragon cried, voice a guttural roar as he climbed languidly over the walls like an oversized, melodramatic bat. “And I bring your doom, foul mortals!”
“They can’t just eat the Chancellor,” Thorn squeaked hysterically, as Smaug turned his attention to where the man in question stood tall on his podium, even as his aides scrambled to escape. Fox didn’t respond, grimly aware of how unlikely it was that the Chancellor would survive this encounter.
Palpatine was saying something, likely an attempt to soothe the dragon’s bloodlust, but Fox didn’t hear. His focus was concentrated on Smaug, the presence that engulfed the space with threat obvious in every line of their body, wicked teeth shining in the light.
“Foolish Man,” Smaug goaded, head slowly wending its way closer to the podium, a snake ready to strike. “You believe yourself superior, that you command a power beyond all compare… You are weak. You cannot control it, and your arrogance to believe you can… ”
Smaug chuckled, a sinister sound that set Fox’s whole body on edge. Thorn gripped his arm hard, trembling. They stood their ground.
“I will destroy you,” they snarled, and lunged.
Lightning scattered over their armoured body, pouring from Palpatine’s hands, a futile defence. Smaug’s jaws snapped closed, and the Chancellor was gone.
“Fuck,” Fox said, as the dragon perched proudly on the tattered remains of the podium. Thorn tilted his head towards him, never taking his eyes of the creature in front of them.
“We’re gonna have so much paperwork.”