Chapter Text
Joshua'd cleaned his clothes again for him (thank you, Joshua, for occasionally being actually useful), and when Neku gets dressed, he pauses to consider his spoils from the day. Eh, it's cold; he pulls on the bunny parka, though he leaves off the hairpiece. And Joshua doesn't have any hair gel, so … hood up it is. He'd feel unarmed without his spikes, otherwise.
When Neku returns to the lounge, he sees Joshua slide off his perch on the bar and beckon him to the foosball table. "Would you like to play a game?"
"Sure," Neku says. Not really what he'd expected, but it's not bad.
Neku has a distinct feeling Joshua just let him win, but fuck it, he'll take it.
"Look at this," Joshua says, gesturing expansively at the table. "All of these little players, moving in accordance with our wills, as we compete to kick the ball into the other goal."
Neku raises an eyebrow. "Yeah," he says, patient, "that's foosball."
"All of them responding to the jerk of a knob," he adds, quirking his eyebrows with a smirk, watching Neku like a dog does a ball. "Beautiful."
Is he trying to be deep, or flirting? "You know," Neku drawls, "I would have a much easier time taking you seriously if you were talking about anything other than foosball."
"Hey, Neku," he says, brushing his hair out of his eyes, "wanna hammer my pins while we're both hard, until one of us falls off the table and needs to get fingered?"
Neku stares at him. One beat. Two. And buries his head in his hands. "Why," he howls.
"Was that too much?" Mock innocent, because of course he is, and Neku kind of wants to kill him except he's laughing too hard. Or possibly crying: Neku can't tell.
"When," he manages, catching his breath, "when I said that, I meant anything other than children's games."
"You should be more specific next time, Neku," he chides, grinning. "Otherwise, someone might just take that the wrong way."
Neku slumps into a sigh. "Look, if you're going to hit on me, just -- hit on me. Don't make it about foosball, don't make it about Tin Pin, don't make it about whatever bizarre point you're trying to make. Just … be direct, okay?"
Joshua hums. "Does that imply you return my feelings?" he says lightly. Making it into a joke; Neku can't hurt him if he doesn't care. Not everyone needs headphones to shut out the world.
"Given that I don't want you to murder me, I'm gonna guess not," he says dryly, before rubbing at his neck. "I don't know what your feelings are, okay? You don't make sense to me. … But I trust you."
"Trust in someone you neither understand nor forgive," Joshua murmurs. "You're very strange, Neku."
"I know," Neku says, "but I also know you. Put what you want into words, and maybe I'll say yes."
Joshua shifts his weight onto the foosball table, casual. So casual. "I've told you what I want," he murmurs.
"What? Just for me to choke you?" Neku watches him, crossing his arms. "Be specific."
Joshua backs up, pushes himself onto the bar. Retreating to higher ground. "I want you to choke me," he says, one hand fiddling with his ruffles, the other hand splayed over the edge of the counter. "I want you to choke me, and I want to know I owe my continued existence to your unfathomable goodwill, that you have used me and I you and we have neither of us met in the middle, only brushed up close enough to see the chasm. Neku, I want you, but I -- I don't -- what do you want!?"
Joshua's glaring now, tense like a lightning storm, the counter where his hand's now clenching down crackling and reforming with his power. Neku watches him, face blank, and takes a step forward. And another, and another. Looks up at Joshua, the bar giving him that extra height, Neku's mouth open in a silent question, not caring even a little if Joshua pulls what he's thinking out of his mind.
Joshua stares, eyes wide in more fear than he'd shown the Taboo Noise, and kisses him.
It's not very good, neither of them sure where to fit their noses, and Joshua with a bit of fish breath, but Joshua's eager to shove his tongue into Neku's mouth and Neku doesn't mind, doesn't mind at all. Beat's more cautious, more sweet and patient and exploratory, but Joshua pulls Neku close to him like he thinks he'd disappear otherwise. Neku returns the embrace, one hand on the small of his back, trying to be careful and steady even as Joshua pushes in enough that Neku accidentally bites his tongue. At least Joshua doesn't seem disappointed by that, though.
It's not very good, but it is Joshua, and Neku's a bit disappointed when he has to pull back to breathe. "Joshua," he says, and the name sounds odd in his voice. "I don't know what I want," he admits, and it might as well have been a bullet for the look on Joshua's face. "I don't know what I want, but -- Joshua, you're my friend, and I like you. You're a jerk and a manipulative bastard and the biggest asshole I know, but you're still my friend, and I don't want you to be unhappy. So -- so if it's okay with you, that I don't know what I want, then let's do it."
Joshua's still staring, long enough that Neku starts to wonder if he'd said the wrong thing, and then he starts to laugh, this harsh, hushed hyena chuckle that carries on until he suddenly stops. "Of course, Neku," he says finally, like he's not sure why he expected anything different. "… Can I go down on you?"
Neku chokes, face bright red. That's, uh. That's a better reaction than he expected.
Joshua smiles at him indulgently. "Or jerk you off; I suppose I'm not too particular," he amends, like it's the weather.
"The, uh, the first one sounds good?" he squeaks. He just -- he just said that, and he sounded like a dork. "I like the first idea," he reiterates, more confidently.
Joshua smirks, maybe brighter than he'd meant, and readjusts his bonnet. "Do try to refrain from comparing me to your other partners, mind," he adds. "I just might take offense."
… wait, what? "You --" Neku hasn't even had a blowjob before, and -- wait. "Inform me before reading my mind!"
"It's not my fault that I hear you when you shout," he says breezily. "I'll see what I can do, if it bothers you so much."
"Good. Do that." He rubs at his arm and sighs. It's good that Joshua isn't making this weird.
Well. He is making this weird, but he isn't being any less Joshua about it. Neku was worried, for a moment.
Joshua's watching him, he realises, waiting for him to decide to move. Neku smiles at him: it's okay. Joshua smirks, like it's completely ridiculous that anyone would think he could have been concerned.
"… Now what?" Neku says.
The lights dim as Joshua hums like he's tackling a particularly interesting problem, and he lightly directs Neku to sit on the edge of the couch, feet on the floor and legs apart. "Clothes on or off?"
"Eh?" Neku goes. He hadn't thought ahead that far.
"Clothes on leaves a particular sense of debauchery; clothes off makes this seem planned," Joshua explains. "I refuse to do this if you're wearing just a shirt, though only trousers has a certain appeal."
That … almost makes sense. Sort of. "If I'm gonna be naked, do I need to take my socks off? Your floor is cold."
Joshua takes a moment to consider this. "I suppose socks are acceptable," he concedes, "if you absolutely must."
"… Are you gonna strip if I do?"
"No," Joshua says like it's obvious. "This outfit is too cute to deprive you of." He twirls the skirt a bit, demonstrating. It is pretty cute. Not the kind of frills Neku prefers, but definitely wearable.
"Clothes on, then," he decides. "I'm not gonna be naked while you're fully clothed."
Joshua hums agreement and kneels between his legs before reaching up and undoing Neku's zipper so he can pull out his … his dick; if Neku's really honestly doing this with him, he should be able to think the words.
This is actually happening. That's kind of odd to think about, especially since it's happening with Joshua. He'd've thought he'd have better taste.
Joshua eyes his cock like a dog that's finally found the bone and leans in.
"Cold!" Neku squawks. "Why is your mouth cold?!"
Joshua pulls back. "Is it?" he says blandly. "I must have forgot."
"How do you forget --"
"My body temperature is much higher now," he says airily. "Apologies for the inconvenience."
"You did that on purpose, you rat bastard," Neku says, but he's cut off by Joshua leaning in again and giving his shaft a long lick. He is much warmer now, and looks as smug as he's ever seen him, but honestly? Neku feels he's earned it. You go right ahead feeling smug about being able to do that, Joshua. Neku is not gonna argue.
Joshua puts his mouth around the head and presses his tongue against the slit, and once Neku is well and truly hard (it doesn't take that long; he is still a teenager), he pulls back to inspect his handiwork. There's a small amount of precome on his mouth, which he licks away once he sees Neku watching. Show off.
And then an image in his head: Joshua on the floor in his Lapin Angelique finest (and that stuff is way too expensive for Neku to imagine risking like this, but he guesses saving on the dry cleaning bill is nothing compared to raising the dead), regal and poised like this is a tea ceremony; Neku looking down on him with more unguarded awe than he's ever seen on his own face, not even in a mirror. It might be what he looks like when he sees really good art; his face feels kind of like that. An Imprint: Joshua not suggesting anything, just trying to show Neku what he sees. The clothes do lend a certain appeal, though Neku's not sure how he feels about the bunny hood.
Yeah, okay, he would look extremely silly in just a shirt. Joshua had a definite point there. Socks are perfect and he's not sure what Joshua has against them, but just a shirt would look asymmetrical in a bad way.
"Enjoy the view?" Joshua says, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Neku is pretty sure they're past where they need 'suggestion'.
"Why don't you go back to doing something useful," he says without heat, and Joshua does, one hand fondling Neku's balls and the other sneaking down Neku's pants to his ass as he sticks his cock in his mouth.
It's a strange, wet heat, but not bad.
Only not bad? he hears in Joshua's voice. I'm insulted.
Wait, but …. Oh. "Telepathy again?"
Just the surface, Joshua promises. Makes it a little easier to see if I'm doing it right, hm~?
"You really should have asked me first," Neku says, but he's not mad.
I announced myself immediately, he replies, miffed, and maybe there's a downside to this state of affairs, because he punctuates that with the suggestion of teeth. Maybe he should've been suspicious of Joshua's enthusiasm after all.
Joshua's laughing at him, but as far as Neku's concerned, so long as he keeps doing what he's doing, he can do that all day. Joshua's amusement actually feels different, a pressure where there wasn't before, and Neku has to think to keep himself from trying to move into it.
You are aware I don't need to breathe, correct? Joshua says, but still, Neku'd rather start into the habit of showing concern for his partner.
To show what he thinks of that, Joshua swallows him down and squeezes his butt in one smooth motion. I don't have a gag reflex, he says smugly. Okay, fine, maybe he's right about some things!
"You're the -- weirdest asshole -- I've ever met," Neku manages. Nevermind: mind-reading is great! Sure, telepathy, go right ahead, Mr Composer.
Brilliant, Joshua says like he's found a new trick. Sing something for me.
"That's kind of -- fuck -- that's kind of hard to do right now, Josh!" Why is this happening to him.
Sing or I'll stop, and nevermind, Joshua is the worst. He regrets this. He regrets this so much.
Joshua starts moving back and letting go, and goodbye to Neku's dignity, because he gives in and tries belting out the first stanza to Def Märch's latest single (wait, but there was something --), only he can't exactly remember half the words right now and he keeps squeaking and --
-- it's a relief when he shudders and comes because that means he can shut up. Joshua smirks and swallows it, then daintily lifts himself off the floor and drapes one arm over Neku's shoulder.
"Oh my god," Neku says once he catches his breath. "I really, honestly hate you." And now his clothes are all sweaty and Neku can't just magic them clean again. Maybe that wasn't such a great idea.
"Did you have a good time?" Joshua sounds so incredibly proud of himself, because of course he does.
Neku rubs at his head. "I … yeah. Yeah, I think so." But with any luck, this will be the most embarrassing sex he has in his life, because wow might that be hard to top. He regrets it. He's not sure what he regrets, but he regrets it. … Everything, probably. Give him a list and he'll figure out what he doesn't regret.
God, that was … he doesn't have words for what that was. That was … a thing. That was a thing, and for whatever reason, that just happened, and Joshua's probably going to want him to hold up his side of it once he feels willing to move.
What the hell even was that. He laughs, because what else can he do? Sure, okay, he gets what he thinks might be a technically-competent blowjob, only it's from Joshua, so instead it's … whatever that was.
"Oh good," Joshua says, "because I'd hate for you to have addressed me by name during unsatisfactory sex."
Wait, what? … Huh. Yeah. "Don't get used to it, asshole," he says, more relaxed than is probably wise to be. "What was that even for?"
"You have a lovely singing voice," he says absently. "… But that was dreadful."
"Well, why don't we see how well you do while someone's trying to get you off."
"Challenge accepted," he replies immediately. Neku's not sure he'd actually meant it, but -- yeah, actually, that could be pretty entertaining.
Huh. Maybe there was a point to that besides making him look bad. And since his dignity's already dead and gone anyway, he might as well ask: "What's that like, anyway? Swallowing, I mean."
"You mean you've never tasted it before?" Joshua says, astounded. It'd be annoying, but, well. Gee.
"I -- of course I have, but that's different."
Joshua hums, pretending to think about it. "It's less objectionable than that dessert you insisted on after every battle," he settles on, long suffering.
What. It takes him a minute to figure out what he's getting at, because that sure had no relevance to anything. "… You mean ice cream?"
"Oh, is that what it's called?"
He cannot be serious. "You just went down on me and you're mad about ice cream?"
"'Oh, Joshua, let's go to Sunshine!' 'Hey, Joshua, I got some ice cream,'" he says, in some truly abysmal mockery of Neku's tone. "Every day, Neku. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe humans aren't supposed to eat cow's milk?"
This is so not the time for this, which is probably exactly why Joshua's bringing it up now. "You didn't have to eat it if you didn't want to," he manages eventually.
"Oh, well, you were paying," he says, like it explains everything.
Neku wasn't expecting this to last, but he's so glad he's not actually dating Joshua. "… if you're trying to get me to want to strangle you, it's working."
Joshua beams. "That is the goal here, isn't it?"
God. This is ridiculous. "So how do you want this done, anyway," he says more casually than he feels: he might burst out laughing otherwise, and that's probably not appropriate.
"I want you to kill me and I don't want to expect it," Joshua says quickly. Maybe he finds this awkward, too. It'd be nice if the joke wasn't just on him.
But then what Joshua said actually registers. "What -- are you sure?" And that's a terrible question: no one could ask someone to do that, could they? Even if for them death doesn't matter, that's … asking a lot from him.
"Yes," he says simply. He's watching the fish rather than Neku, face closed off.
Expecting Neku to chicken out, now that he's got his, and Joshua's is staring him in the face. And … maybe this isn't something he wants to do, but it's something he can do, and even if Joshua is the biggest jerk he knows, he's still his friend.
Neku takes a deep breath and releases it slowly. "Okay. Yeah, okay. Any ideas how?"
Joshua lights up, more than anyone should when they're talking about murder. "I was thinking either strangulation or cutting my throat with piano wire."
"I'm not doing the second one," he lays down. Joshua looks a little disappointed, but not very. "Do I need anything to strangle you with?"
Joshua looks him over. "I suspect so; using your hands is more trouble than it's worth. Either your belt or one of my ties would be preferable, for the improvised weapon angle."
"And, what, do I just -- go for it, or did you have some time in mind?" It's strange, how they're just discussing this like it's normal, but not bad. It seems so much more manageable like this.
Joshua is quiet for a moment. Judging what he thinks he can get away with? "Anal sex might be a bit much …."
Well. He had said this was a sex thing. He takes a minute to adjust to this, then finally says, "Yeah, no, I am not killing you during that." God, the last thing he needs is to end up fucking a corpse. Joshua might be dead, but he isn't that dead.
What the hell is his life?
Joshua sighs, disappointed. "I thought not." He keeps thinking, then brightens. "Perhaps you sitting on me without penetration?"
"Is that … much fun?" Neku has no idea.
"If it isn't, I'm sure we can find something else," he replies briskly. "Use our imaginations, as it were."
That had the sound of a joke Neku doesn't get, but it is Joshua. "… Right. Okay. Anything else I should know?"
Joshua hums. "I believe that covers it."
"Right," Neku says. "Can you get me one of your ties, then?"
Joshua beams and darts off. Neku sets his phone on the table, then pulls his parka and shirt off and wiggles out of his pants while waiting for him to return, hesitating at the idea of removing his boxers. They're a bit sticky, but maybe he should wait for Joshua to get back first. His socks are going to stay on, though, no matter what Joshua thinks: this room is still cold.
Joshua returns while Neku's still trying to figure out where to set his clothes down, pausing to grab something out from behind the counter of the bar, a few towels held with his elbow and Natural Puppy ties in his hand. "No show?" he whines, disappointed.
"Nah," says Neku. "What should I do with these?"
"Leave them on the floor," he instructs. "I'll take care of them in a minute."
Neku drops his clothes, watching as Joshua sets one of the towels on the couch and the rest on the table. He also puts the bottle down: ah, lubrication. That makes sense.
Joshua stops while still facing away from Neku, and turns his head to look at him. "Can you unlace this for me?" he says, pointing at the back of the dress.
"How did you get it on in the first place?" Neku has to ask, loosening it so Joshua can slide it off and onto a hanger, which he puts above the bar.
"Oh, you know," he says vaguely. Composer powers again, probably. He removes his bodice and petticoats, too, setting those on the table, but stops short of taking off his black stockings and lavender lace panties. They're soaked through, and Neku can see the outline of his cock through them. Guess Joshua enjoyed going down on him, too. Neku feels slightly guilty at having made him wait, but Joshua could've mentioned or taken care of it himself, if he'd felt like it. So he doesn't feel that bad.
Joshua smirks when he catches him looking. "Like what you see?"
"Actually, yeah," he says, a little surprised. He'd known Joshua was pretty and had good taste in clothes, but he hadn't really thought about it. "You're beautiful."
"I know," Joshua purrs. Neku's eyebrow twitches.
"So, uh," he trails off awkwardly.
"These are so cute," Joshua says woefully, index fingers in the band of his panties, "but I suppose I'll have to remove them. Boxers off, Neku."
Neku nods too quickly, nervous, and pulls them off, leaving them by his feet, while Joshua artfully slides off his panties. Neku suspects he must've practiced this in a mirror. He probably has.
Joshua takes stock of their clothes, then whistles, some barely-audible tune that goes right through Neku's bones. He blinks reflexively, and when his eyes open again, they're clean and neatly folded on the far side of the table. Convenient.
Joshua sits down on the couch towel, legs spread apart, grinning his wolf grin and basking in … everything, probably. Like he's the luckiest guy in the world, or like the world exists and it's lucky to have him in it; for Joshua, there's probably no difference.
He squirts out some lube and puts some of it on his cock. "Here, Neku," he says, patting to his side with the clean hand.
Neku looks down on him. "So … you don't like socks, but stockings are okay."
"These are sexy," he explains. "Your plain white socks are not sexy."
"They're warm, though," and that is really the important thing here.
But he might as well get a move on. Neku picks up the waffle-print necktie off the table and kneels one leg down on the couch, then the other, so that he's sitting on Joshua's thighs and looking down on his face.
Joshua's so big in personality and in scale, it's hard to remember sometimes that he's actually a bit shorter and slighter than him, and Neku isn't exactly a big guy himself. Joshua meets his gaze, smile slipping a little.
"You might, ah," he murmurs, "wish to put the tie on ahead of time."
Neku nods shakily, looping it around Joshua's neck a full time and ties it a bit like he would his shoelaces, though he doesn't get as far as the bunny ears. He considers the image and giggles helplessly; Joshua left there for him with a bow. Joshua tilts his head slightly and smirks.
"Hey, mention when you're reading my mind," Neku chides.
"It's not intentional, I assure you," he says, apologetic. "It takes a good deal of concentration to shut you out entirely; you're very loud."
"And you're a brat," he says without heat.
"Ah, but would a brat do this?" Joshua says, wiping some of the lube along Neku's buttcrack.
Augh! "Cold hands!" Neku squeaks. "Stop doing that!"
Joshua preens. "I don't know what you're talking about," he says, like the lying liar he is.
"The body temperature thing!" Neku accuses. "You might be dead, but you don't have to remind me!"
"A good partner would accept me for who I am," he says primly. "Besides, some of it was the lube."
"Some," he repeats.
Archly: "I have to keep you on your toes somehow." And no, he really doesn't, but there's no sense arguing with him: arguing with Joshua is an exercise in futility.
"Can we just -- get on with this?" he says, and Joshua's eyes gleam as he pulls forward a little and thrusts up, dick brushing up against the underside of his balls.
It's both jarring and better than Neku expected, nice enough he nearly forgets: "Hey, you promised to sing for me."
"Must I?" And before Neku can complain, he elaborates: "Would it suffice if I'm merely careful to keep talking, and perhaps only grace you with my dulcet tones closer to orgasm?"
Neku thinks about this. "Yeah, okay." And to save his own dignity: "And you can read my mind, but you have to reply verbally."
"Oho! Changing the goalposts, are we?" Like he didn't himself. "I accept."
Joshua starts in on some anecdote about the former Conductor as he rocks forward, cock rubbing along Neku's ass, something about how he'd lost his old headphones in a reaper party to one of the wall reapers, who'd pawned them to help buy a new laptop. Neku's not sure why he'd picked this story, and it's definitely not sexy, but Joshua's breath hitches with each thrust and he can't keep a consistent speaking pace. Joshua's movement keeps teasing at him and he wants some more friction, but he'd rather take his hands and explore near Joshua's shoulder blades.
A little help here? he thinks deliberately, and maybe Joshua would have heard anyway, would have heard his most inconsequential thought in the middle of Scramble Crossing, but it can't hurt. He feels what he assumes must be Joshua brushing against his mind, light and with enough natural reason to be there that he's only detectable when he backs off, his awareness of the city quieting.
"Aye, aye, captain," Joshua says, moving his hands down so that one is on Neku's cock and the other caressing the inside of his knee, before returning to the story, Higashizawa having torn through the support ranks looking for someone willing to explain how to find recipes online in an attempt to find the thief, Joshua diverging into listing off everything he remembers Higashizawa having baked on his forwarded request.
Neku should get to it, grab the ends of the tie and pull, but Joshua's almost lazily butting up against his anus and it's comfortable. Slow and easy, not like the whiplash urgency of Joshua's power trip masquerading as a surprisingly satisfactory blowjob.
And then Neku's phone goes off and he nearly falls off the couch in his scramble to reach it. Probably Shiki or Beat; had he forgotten to check in? He flips it open and ….
It's a text from Joshua. He opens it, already knowing he's going to regret it, and …. So what are you wearing today, dear? (￣▽￣)ノ
He closes it, resettling himself over the culprit, even though he's half-tempted to just leave. "You know," he says conversationally, "if I killed you for real, I'm sure I could convince Mr H that you deserved it."
"So forward, Neku." He wiggles his fingers, eyes glittering.
"How did you even type that?"
In answer, Joshua wags a finger and the ends of the tie flutter. "Telekinesis, dear. Don't you remember anything?"
… Of course.
Joshua leans in and kisses his nose, resettling his hands to lightly touch his cock and firmly grip his thigh. "You're cute when you're annoyed," he says, like that's any kind of excuse, before returning to his story, Higashizawa's intent going over new-recruit Yashiro's head in her haste to get a promotion.
It's not nearly the same as an apology, and Neku still doesn't believe Joshua feels he did anything wrong, but maybe sharing reaper gossip where some of the key participants are dead and never coming back is his way of showing he'd cared. It doesn't make any of it okay. But he did care.
Neku sighs, and on a whim, leans down and lightly nips Joshua's ear. Joshua lets out a soft "aah," and doesn't say anything for a moment. Neku opens his mouth; he slowly licks the shell of Joshua's ear, bites down again, careful to just keep it to the suggestion of pressure. Joshua hesitates again. "As I was saying, Megumi -- Megumi …."
Did … did he lose his place? Incredible. Neku smirks evilly and whispers, "Now you should try to sing."
"Perhaps that -- isn't the greatest idea," he says, face falling.
"Maybe I won't choke you," Neku says conversationally. "Maybe I'll just wait 'til some other time we do this, or even later, so you really won't know when to expect it."
"Neku, you're very cruel," Joshua says, admiring. "If -- if you insist, then I shall," and he starts crooning: I'm sorry I'm not honest / I can say it in my dreams / My thoughts are about to short-circuit / I want to be with you right now.
The tune's vaguely familiar, but Neku can't place it immediately. Probably from some corny kids' show, knowing Joshua.
Neku pushes Joshua back a bit, so that he's leaning against the back of the couch, scoots forward, and grinds down. Joshua doesn't squeak or sound like he's forgetting words or anything; he just loses track of the beat as he pushes back into Neku.
"… Is that … from Sailor Moon?" he realises. He hasn't watched it himself, but ….
Joshua smirks. Joshua may never stop smirking. "You didn't specify," he explains.
This guy. "Go back to talking; that was funnier."
Joshua nods seriously. "Most museums use -- flesh-eating dermestid beetles to -- clean skeletons," he says, like this is a completely normal conversation topic. "They remove as much of the material by hand --"
This is probably the best chance he's going to get. Neku swiftly grabs the ends of the tie and tugs, as hard as he can; Joshua coughs and his shoulders pull in, but he doesn't stop talking. "-- and they let nature do its work. -- Neku, wait."
Neku lets go and leans back immediately. He knew Joshua wouldn't actually --
"Neku, it's caught a bit around my spine," he says. "Let me fix it -- here, grab here and pull away, not down." He takes Neku's hands and corrects them, though Neku loosens it as soon as he lets go. "You see …?"
Neku forces himself to nod; he did feel the difference. He can do this; Joshua looks so hopeful. He can do this and it'll all be okay.
Joshua watches him, a bit sad, until Neku nods again, meaning it this time. "I trust you," Joshua states, and it's as much like he's trying to convince himself as Neku.
Joshua starts moving again, gripping Neku's cock more firmly and rubbing his thumb over the tip. It's not going to take much, second time today be damned, and Neku pulls.
Away, rather than down, though still not completely blocking the artery, and Joshua's eyes are watering as he urgently pushes against Neku. "Keep going," he pleads, and Neku is so close, Joshua pulling him down just as he presses up, and Joshua shudders and stays up.
He forgot the fluid, Neku realizes blearily, just as Joshua wallops him with an Imprint and Neku splatters on his chest.
Keep going, Joshua says in his head, breathing hard.
"Okay," Neku says, though his arms are so tired, and Neku yanks and holds it as Joshua pales and slumps down.
That's probably enough, Neku thinks, but Do it, Joshua pleads.
Neku needs to let go of the tie, knows he should let go, but …. I'm nearly there, Joshua Imprints. Please.
And this is so fucked up, and he really honestly should let go, ignore what Joshua wants and let go, because there's no way Joshua wants what he thinks he wants and Neku should not be able to do this, should not be able to hold on tight and listen to Joshua's shallow breathing shudder and stop without doing anything, without even really having any ill will towards Joshua, even if he might not ever be able to forgive him.
This is so fucked up, and he realises after a moment that Joshua's gone still, too still to be anyone alive.
Holy shit. He's just killed him. Holy shit.
And just as he's starting to wonder if they'd lied, or he'd done it wrong, that Joshua is well and truly dead and Neku is the new Composer, Joshua blurs around the edges and collapses onto Neku like a dying man.
Which he was, just a minute ago. Neku feels something soft against his back and reaches out with his hands, trying not to dislodge Joshua, who's clinging to him like a life raft.
Wings.
Joshua has feathered wings.
… he's not sure why he's surprised by the wings, since all the reapers had some, and Minamimoto had six, but it's still a shock. White and iridescent, rather than reaper black, and it's interesting.
"Neku," murmurs Joshua, voice hoarse, and Neku belatedly lets go of the tie. "Neku," he says again. "Thank you."
"… uh …." What do you even say to that? "… Anytime?"
Joshua chuckles, and he sounds happier than Neku has ever heard him. This is so fucked up.
He starts working the tie loose from around his neck, since Joshua doesn't seem like he wants to let go anytime soon. And if Joshua wants to get touchy-feely with people who literally just killed him, well. That's only the second most disturbing thing he's seen all day.
(He'd held on. He'd held on and someone died, and maybe that was the plan and it wasn't permanent or anything, but that's a terrifying thing to find yourself capable of doing. He's not sure what to do with this information. What can you do with it?)
Joshua makes a sound, kind of a happy growl, and leans in to Neku. Neku isn't wearing nearly enough clothes to have this little personal space. "Neku," he says again, and if Neku broke him somehow, Mr H is gonna kill him.
"… Are you okay?" Neku checks.
He hums. "… yes?" he settles on. "I simply -- may need a minute." He might need more than that; if it were anyone else, Neku'd say he's being nuzzled.
This is so weird. "Can I … get you anything?" he tries.
Joshua lifts his head up from where he'd been trying to burrow into Neku's neck, and looks him straight in the eye. "Pet me," he says, completely earnest.
Who is this, and what happened to Joshua? "Your wings?" he says, baffled.
"And my hair," he confirms. "Pet me, Neku. Remind me what I'm doing here in the Realground. Remind me why I picked you for this."
"Joshua, I don't know why you picked me for this," Neku admits. Joshua huffs a laugh. "Okay, but if you want me to do this, we're gonna have to move."
Joshua whines a little as Neku extracts himself from his lap, and his disappointment when Neku wraps a towel around his waist is palpable, but he waits for Neku to sit back down before flopping himself onto Neku's lap. His wings flutter as he does so, though, and Neku's hit in the face for his trouble.
"Be careful with those!" he snaps, and Joshua has the audacity to give him puppy eyes. He does hold them still, though, partly outstretched so Neku can reach them all.
Joshua's wings might only be around the same size as Lollipop's, but Neku is so lucky that they're feathered rather than pointy. The reapers could put an eye out with those things. Joshua's are merely annoying, and if Neku ends up with a black eye in the morning, it is completely and utterly Josh's fault.
Neku doesn't go straight for the wings, though, instead entangling one hand in Joshua's hair and the other in the patch of feathers between his wings, on his shoulder blades. Joshua makes that pleased growl again, leaning his head into his hand and fluffing up his feathers so Neku can scratch between them and make sure they're more or less in order.
Hnnn. "What do I do about any feathers that seem a bit loose?"
"Hm?" Joshua extends one wing, though thankfully it's the one further from Neku. "Tug on them to see if they come out, I suppose."
Neku makes sure his arm'd keep Joshua from hitting him in the face again and tugs. It doesn't budge, though Joshua does flap reflexively, but maybe if he concentrates on what he's doing …. It comes right out when he tries again -- must be a willpower thing -- and Joshua sighs.
"Set any you remove aside," he instructs. "I'll need to inspect them … later."
"Yeah, sure," he says absently as he picks through, Joshua going limp and boneless whenever he finds an itchy spot. He pulls out three more before he pays attention to his bad feeling and mentions, "One of your coverts is orange."
Joshua stiffens. "That would be Noise," he says. "Show me."
Neku takes his hand and leads it to the offending feather. Joshua's whole body tenses when he finds it, but he just calmly yanks it and incinerates it.
"Any others?"
"Nope," Neku says, strangely proud. "Think we got 'em all."
Joshua fluffs back up and relaxes again. Neku gives him a once over: yeah, looks like everything is lying flat where it should be. Now Neku just should probably get him to move, and that might be easier said than done.
Neku tries lifting one leg as a hint and Joshua raises an eyebrow at him. Time to get up, Neku thinks, and Joshua deigns to sit up and tuck his wings away. A bit of a pity: Joshua looks both sillier and more dignified with them, while now he's just another scrawny teenager with a pretty face and artfully tousled hair. And not nearly enough clothes on, Neku amends, giving Joshua's lower body a significant look.
"Well," Joshua says, casual as ever, like none of this ever happened, "you should probably inform your friends that you remain in the land of the living."
Neku smirks. "Yeah, probably," he says, unsurprised Joshua knew about that. Neku trusts Joshua, but he trusts him never to be other than he is. It's only sensible.
"Shall we … do this again sometime?" he asks, the slightest bit pink again.
Neku thinks about it. It was weird, and Joshua's an asshole, but … yeah, he had a good time. "Sure," he says, "just … stay in touch," and he goes to see about another shower.