Chapter Text
Dazai woke up to a feeling of emptiness. He had barely slept the previous night, falling into the grip of nightmares every time he dozed off and waking up in a cold sweat with already fading visions of blood, death and despair whirling in his mind. The huge bed with its silken sheets, warm quilts, soft mattresses and fluffy pillows seemed cold and far too large. The lavish penthouse occupying the whole of the top floor of a high-rise in one of the richest areas of Yokohama and filled with every creature comfort money could buy (and they could think of) felt alien and unwelcoming. The normally magnificent view of his beloved city and the great ocean from the balcony was dreary and lifeless to his eyes. He was debating with himself on whether he should try to go back to sleep or not when he was interrupted by soft music. Someone was calling his personal number. The one only a handful of people had.
"~Hello, Yuki-san! How may I help you this fine morning?~" he sang with false cheer.
A deep sigh answered him.
"You needn't pretend for us Osamu-kun. Ranpo said today was a bad one for you. Don't try to tell me that he's wrong."
Dazai mentally groaned. Of course, Ranpo would know.
"Bad day, eh? It certainly is! I'm still alive. So many more deserving people aren't. Kousuke should have become a teenager today…."
"Oda Kousuke, your brother? I'm assuming that no one else knows."
"No one important. But I suppose Ranpo figured out Odasaku and my younger siblings' birthdays. Can't put anything past him, can I?"
"No, you can't. And knowing you, that's a good thing. Did you have any plans for today?"
Something in Fukuzawa's tone made Dazai bite back the habitual suicide retort at the tip of his tongue.
"Not really. I donate toys to orphanages for all my late family's birthdays, but I don't need to be physically present there to do that. What's wrong?"
"We have a case. Kidnapping. A woman and her two children. Your help will be invaluable."
Yuki-san's voice was gentle and undemanding. His superior was giving him a choice. But after hearing that children were in danger, there was no way he would stay away. Especially since it was the birthday of a younger brother who was no more.
"Of course, Sir. I'll be at the office within the hour." His tone had become purposeful and businesslike.
"Thank you. I'll see you at the meeting."
His boss signed off, once more the stern and formal President of the ADA.
Taking a quick shower and changing into his street outfit, Dazai left the apartment. His bus-stop was a 10-minute walk from there - no sane person would allow him to drive a vehicle of any sort in a normal situation. He spent the bus ride ordering toys online for one of the orphanages under his patronage and arranging for their delivery by that evening. He had one such place for each of his late siblings and saw to it that each child there had a new toy for that sibling's birthday. Of course, his chosen orphanages were run by kind, sincere people who genuinely cared about their charges.
It took around 20 minutes to reach a stop near the Agency. Before entering the office he stopped at the Uzumaki Cafe and ordered a coffee and a sandwich to go. Aki would hound him about taking proper care of himself as soon as she saw him.
To Dazai's mild surprise, he wasn't the last to the meeting room. The President, Kunikida (of course), Haruno and the Tanizakis were already seated while Kenji had entered just before him and was yet to take a seat. The others had still not arrived. He mentally thanked his boss for calling him in early. Unlike the others who lived at the nearby Agency Dorms, his current residence was quite far away.
He dropped into a chair, tilted it back on two legs and took a bite out of his sandwich. His actions earned him a frown and a glare from Kunikida although the taller man refrained from commenting. He glanced at the Director who answered his unspoken question with an approving nod and a silent request to wait. Seconds later, the door opened to reveal a panting Atsushi and a slightly less out of breath Kyouka. They had to have run all the way from the dorms. He waved at them and was answered by smiles. He had finished his food and coffee by the time an annoyed Yosano-sensei stalked in, dragging a petulant Ranpo. The master detective was clutching a large bag of freshly baked goodies whose smell had started filling the conference room. Everything was so normal. He hoped that the upcoming case would be enough to distract him from the pit of desolation, depression and despair within him.
Kunikida cleared his throat.
"Our current case is extremely time-sensitive. Therefore we are putting all hands on the deck"
He pulled up three images onto the screen. Dazai had to hide a flinch as he saw them. It took some effort to push back the unwanted thoughts and listen to the briefing with a poker face. One of the photos on the screen bore a striking resemblance to a face he had last seen more than a decade and a half ago. With her wavy golden hair and bright green eyes, the kidnapped woman looked like a youthful version of his late grandmother. Her little son and daughter had been taken with her. His sisters Katsumi and Sakura had been of the same age as them when they had lost their lives.
The case itself was simple enough. The head of a very well-known multinational group was to sign a billion dollar deal that evening. His daughter-in-law and grandchildren had been kidnapped, the perpetrators demanding a formal announcement of the cancellation of the deal. If their demand was not met by 4pm, the woman and the children would be beheaded immediately and their heads sent to their family. The crime had taken place around 5.30 that morning, an ability user effortlessly bypassing the considerable security and stealing the victims away right out of their bedroom. The client hadn't bothered with calling the Police, instead contacting Fukuzawa long before the Agency opened its doors. The President, in turn, had immediately informed Kunikida and himself.
Ultimately, the whole operation turned out to be ridiculously easy. The kidnappers had definitely not counted on an organisation that could stand on equal footing with the Port Mafia and the Government's Special Ability Department being on their trail less than two hours after the crime. By noon, everyone else had brought in enough information for Ranpo to pinpoint their hideout and resources. The actual rescue went very smoothly, Tanizaki infiltrating the enemy and spiriting the hostages away, leaving decoys in their place. It was child's play for Dazai to incapacitate the ability user. The others soon mopped up the twenty-odd heavily armed men with her. The children and their mother were safely home long before the deadline.
Dazai slipped away as soon as the criminals were apprehended. (The case wasn't quite over but Kunikida had enlisted Katai's help right at the beginning. They had already identified the true masterminds. The recluse could easily help Ranpo dig up enough evidence to put them behind bars for a long time. His help was no longer necessary.) He couldn't remain near his friends for much longer. His mask was slipping fast. Normally, saving children and protecting innocents like they had done just now would give him some satisfaction, if not actual happiness. But today.. Today the Universe seemed to be against him, throwing reminders of people he had cared for and lost towards him again and again.
Waking up in an empty bed and silent apartment, remembering his late siblings and Odasaku and then again his grandmother - all that had been barely manageable. He had had to call Ango about the ability user for their case. Any contact with that man stirred up a pool of anger and bitterness within Dazai and as such left a bad taste in his mouth. The last straw had been the location of their enemies' hideout. It had been very close to the place where he'd suffered the most unsettling loss in his life - that of his first soul-child. He had to force himself to focus on the case, knowing that the lives of an innocent woman and her two small children depended on him.
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Dazai, as a child, had been as fascinated by his soul-marks as he was now, though for very different reasons. His grandmother had told him that his soul-bonds linked him to precious people who would love him and become his family. He had been eager to meet them - his grandmother had been his only family and loved one. It was as an adult, looking back, that he had finally realised the true extent of the inheritance she had left for him.
Though not a genius like her grandson, Dazai Kiye had been a shrewd, capable woman and certainly not a fool. A former cat burglar and one of the best forgers in Tokyo, she had quickly recognised her Osamu's superior intellect and taught him the tricks of her trade. Gymnastics, disguise, parkour, forgery, acting, information gathering, lock-picking, pickpocketing, reading lips and body language, improvisation and use of various tools and weapons, pulling off scams…. Her lessons had been varied and extremely interesting to the little boy who had soaked them up like a sponge and showed quite some skill in their application.
Kiye was, however, vehemently opposed to Osamu following in her footsteps. She had enrolled her boy into a school and dreamt of sending him to a University and ultimately abroad so that his genius would be properly appreciated. Those lessons, she maintained, were for emergencies. In her long career she had made a plethora of enemies. Osamu needed to learn how to survive in the streets in case something happened and he was left alone in the world.
Oh, how correct she had been! But Dazai himself had been the reason behind her downfall.
Osamu had been the result of a rape. Throughout his childhood, the boy had been followed by cruel whispers of the locals. He had soon understood the pointed fingers and poisonous murmurs directed at him. These had increased in volume when his exceptional intelligence had become apparent to everyone. An abomination, they called him. And then they would talk about how his mother had killed herself rather than keep on looking at the issue of her violator - the constant reminder of her shame.
His grandmother had been incensed when Osamu had asked why she didn't hate him. But to his surprise, none of the anger had been directed at him. Instead, she had kissed his forehead and hugged him close. He was a wonderful child who deserved all the love in the world, she had insisted, and he was all the more precious as he was the last gift her dearest daughter had left for her. Since then she had doted on Osamu even more, taking care to regularly show him how greatly he was valued.
It had ended all too soon. Osamu had been almost six when his biological father had come looking for the illegitimate child he had thrown away. The eldest grandson of the head of the renowned and extremely wealthy Tsushima family had hoped to obtain a new pawn that might help him gain an advantage in the race to become the new head. He had approached Kiye - first with honeyed words and a large sum of money and then with threats and hired goons. Osamu's grandmother had laughed in his face and thrown him out both times.
For months after that, the two of them had remained wary and on guard. But nothing had happened and they had started to relax. It had been a fatal mistake. Early the next year, Dazai Kiye and her grandson Osamu had tragically died in an 'accidental' fire. 'Tsushima Shuuji' had soon been on the way to 'his' family's ancestral mansion in Aomori. His sire had totally failed to realise that the six-and-a-half year old had seen right through him and had figured out the truth about his grandmother's death.
It had taken Dazai 7 years to escape. His biological father had made 'Shuuji' accompany him on a business trip. Osamu had seized the first available opportunity to disappear from their hotel. His grandmother's teachings were put into full use as he drifted from place to place, elusive and untouchable as a ghost.
He had forgotten his grandmother. Of course, her face, voice, mannerisms and lessons had never faded from his mind. What he had forgotten was much more important. He had forgotten her love, he had forgotten her warmth, he had forgotten her dream of a better future, he had forgotten the wonder and joy of living life in her care. A hollow shell that had lost the will to live and the ability to hope and feel, he had forgotten how to be human.
Around a year later, he had met Mori Ougai.
_____________
Dazai had been so lost in the past that he was taken by surprise when he noticed where his wandering feet had led him. He was at a very familiar cemetery but this particular grave was at the opposite end from his usual haunt. He should have seen this coming, he realised. After all, he had just been at the place where this boy had died.
Osamu hadn't even turned three when the first soul-mark on his right forearm had appeared. It was still gray on gray but he could discern a roaring dragon with an eight-pointed star as the backdrop. Everyone who saw it deemed it unnatural that someone would have a soul-child whose age was so close to their own. His grandmother had beamed with pride, saying that this was the proof that her boy would grow up to be a capable and helpful man who would easily shoulder heavy responsibilities at a young age.
Her faith had been misplaced. Fourteen years later the mark had flared into life, dragon glowing red and star shining bright blue-white, just as Dazai had come upon a scene of devastation. It had burnt to black minutes later as Akutagawa Ryūnosuke had succumbed to his injuries. He had never even asked the boy his name.
That all-too-brief encounter had unsettled him greatly. Even now, more than five years later, there were a host of unanswered questions in his mind about it. Ryū (it was still surprising how his mind always referred to the boy so fondly) had been truly happy to have met him. Ryū had looked at the heartless Demon Prodigy with unconditional trust and respect which, he had later learnt, had been extremely uncharacteristic of the boy. Ryū had entrusted his most precious person to a monster without hesitation. Ryū had died with a smile on his face, thankful that he had been able to protect his little sister one last time.
Dazai hadn't been able to dismiss Ryū's actions as delusions of a dying child. He hadn't been able to ignore the boy's last request and abandon the little girl going berserk with pain and grief to her fate. Akutagawa Gin had been left with one last gift from her brother - Ryū's ability, Rashōmon. It had gone completely out of control after the transfer and the death of its previous owner. He had had to take charge of the girl.
Dazai had always questioned himself about the significance of that bond. He had not known the boy at all. He had definitely not developed any attachment. The burning bond hadn't really hurt - he had only felt a sharp, stinging sensation underneath his bandages. He hadn't even actually ever seen his own mark in full colour. He had only seen the matching mark on the dying boy's left forearm and known that his own had been identical.
He had wondered whether he could have saved Ryū if he had come by just a few minutes earlier. None of the bullets had struck vital organs. It was the blood loss that had been fatal.
He had called in a clean-up crew and arranged for the boy's funeral. Akutagawa Ryūnosuke was buried beside his mother in the cemetery near their old home. Dazai had held onto Gin throughout the ceremony (just to control her ability, he had insisted.) A still-mourning Gin had later told him that her brother had been dying of lung cancer and only had months, if not days, left to live.
There were always so many what-ifs and a sense of something missing whenever he thought about the elder Akutagawa. Odasaku's death had been the most painful experience of his life. Ryūnosuke's death had been the most disturbing - it had never ceased to confuse him.
_____________
He had already left the cemetery when he realised that he hadn't bothered to visit Kousuke. He really was a terrible brother. Dazai stopped at a florist's shop and bought a large bouquet - flowers for apology, remembrance and fond memories and a single white rose for innocence. Then he retraced his steps to the cemetery gates and changed his course to go down an oft-trodden path.
A short way down the slope from Odasaku's grave there lay a cluster of five small headstones all together and a larger one a little to the side. These were the memorials for his lost siblings and Odasaku's landlord, Matsuda-san. No remains rested here - there had been nothing left to bury after Mimic's attack. He placed the flowers in front of Kousuke's headstone with a soft "Happy Birthday" but couldn't find anything else to say to his brother.
Kousuke had been the second orphan adopted by Odasaku. Dazai had been the one to find him. Or rather, Kousuke had found him. It had been after the Dragon's Head Rush but before he had become an executive. He had been out double checking the places in the list he had made for Odasaku. The older man had been searching for a home where he could settle down with his new daughter, Sakura.
Kousuke had been a street rat with no home or relations. He had been overjoyed to have found a family. As his family grew, he would become more and more protective of his siblings - even the one who was his elder. Every time Dazai visited, the boy would pester him about eating and resting properly.
His brother had been fascinated by Matsuda's little food shop, he remembered. He had wanted to be a chef when he grew up. Whenever Odasaku or their landlord would cook, he would watch and (even though he was not allowed near flames or sharp objects), help them as much as he could. Then he would lovingly serve all his siblings large portions and insist that they eat it all.
Katsumi and Shinji had been the last kids to come. They were blood siblings born to two drug addicts. Their mother had died of an overdose. A few days later, their father had sold them for drug money. They had been amongst the victims freed when the Mafia had destroyed a human trafficking ring. Normally, such people were escorted out of Port Mafia territory and ordered to go their own ways. But Odasaku had been doing surveillance on that mission and there had been no question of turning the children away when two of his soul-marks had flared at once.
The siblings had been a highly intelligent pair who were initially extremely wary of their new acquaintances. They knew little about soul-bonds and given their past experiences with grown-ups this behaviour was absolutely natural. It had taken them months to completely settle down in their new family.
Katsumi had started disguising herself as a boy after watching a young girl being sexually assaulted. She had never stopped wearing boys' clothes or referring to herself using masculine pronouns. Proud, smart, efficient and athletic, his new sister had several similarities to Kiye. On learning about said lady, the girl had started demanding that Dazai pass his grandmother's teachings onto her, much to Odasaku's dismay. Both the young men had soon given in before her persistence. She too had shown an aptitude for her lessons and teaching her had been an oddly satisfying experience for the young executive.
Shinji was even more intelligent than his sister, though far less self-assured and assertive. At first he had been quiet and withdrawn but as he had started fitting in, his lively and curious nature had begun to reveal itself. His exceptional intelligence had been nearly on par with Dazai's own at that age.
The boy developed an affinity towards mathematics, science and technology. Though barely out of toddlerhood, he would learn to use most electronic gadgets within a short time of getting his hands on them. Dazai had enjoyed the company of that sharp mind and regularly brought in new materials for him to learn from. He had also planned to introduce the boy to coding, hacking and surveillance when he was older. Mimic had put an end to that.
Orphaned as a toddler, little Yū had been left at the mercy of his abusive relatives. Odasaku had discovered his soul-child being thrashed bloody by his uncle. The furious man had proceeded to teach the abuser a lesson and taken the boy home to his new family.
Half-starved and scarred, the small child would have withdrawn completely into a shell if not for the other two children. He had still been painfully shy and unsure of himself. Then Kousuke had started to teach his siblings how to read and write and Yū had found his new family's nascent collection of books. When he had learnt that his adoptive father was an aspiring writer, he had made it his life's goal to become an author as well. Dazai made sure to contribute often to the book collection. There had been times at the Tsushimas when the library and the company of books had been his sole respite.
Sakura was the first and youngest of Odasaku's children. Dazai had listened via his earpiece even as the older man had come upon the weeping child half-hidden by the corpses of her birth family. That had been hours before Soukoku had finally ended the Dragon's Head Conflict, earning that infamous moniker.
The youngest Oda was very good at drawing considering her age and she had an excellent eye for colour. When her eldest brother visited, she would often make him draw with her. She would also offer him her sketches every time he said goodbye. Young Osamu had inherited his grandmother's artistic talent. The Tsushimas had tried to refine it through formal tutoring and had ended up making the boy lose all enthusiasm towards art. Drawing with his littlest sister had made him rediscover that side of himself.
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Dazai had only a single soul-friend. That bond had formed at birth, a multi-coloured ribbon looping once around his left wrist. An incorporeal charm that looked like a golden fountain pen hung from the loop - the mark of his soul-friend. He also had two soul-parents' marks on his left forearm. One of them was a pen resting over the star that represented him. Kiye had wondered whether her grandson possessed the very rare 'double bond' found in only 1-2% of the people with soul-bonds. Young Osamu had been proud of his soul-bonds, which, by then, had numbered five and waited eagerly for the day he would meet the people he was bonded to.
Like most things he held dear in his childhood, that too had been ruined by the Tsushimas. No one in his paternal 'family' had possessed soul-marks and he had been labelled a freak for his mark-adorned forearms. He had been forced to hide them - the soul-friend bond which couldn't be hidden constantly drew disapproving glances. Years had passed without any of his marks coming alive. He had become as apathetic about them as he had about everything else. Even after his escape from the Tsushimas he had kept his marks hidden. He just hadn't cared anymore.
He was a couple of months from turning sixteen when he had first heard about the mafioso who refused to kill. Curious, had tracked the man to a bar that would go on to become one of his most regular haunts. Wise rust-red eyes had met his own even as the star and the pen on his left arm had shone out from underneath the layer of bandages. The ribbon around his wrist had linked him to Oda Sakunosuke.
Dazai had walked the path between Bar Lupin and his family's graves so many times that he could now make the journey blindfolded. Today he didn't go to his usual seat but instead went to the corner in which Odasaku had been sitting on that day. It was still too early for the bar to have many patrons. In fact, he was the only person in the establishment other than the bartender and a very familiar calico cat under a stool. Nodding a greeting at them, he ordered a whiskey. Perhaps the alcohol would help him rein in his runaway thoughts….
By the time he had met Odasaku, Dazai had become far too jaded to feel joy or wonder at finally finding one of his soul-bondeds, even though this was the person he had shared the double bond with. He had studied the man before him with puzzled bemusement while the older man had returned the scrutiny, eyes calm and serious after an initial flash of surprise. The already infamous Demon Prodigy had gone on to initiate conversation. Oda had introduced the boy to his companion and other soul-friend, Sakaguchi Ango.
Since then, it had become commonplace for the three to converge at the Lupin in their free time. Even though Dazai had shared no soul-bond with Ango, the two of them had soon built up a rapport. The older man was a bit of a mother hen and extremely fun to tease. His presence was often a relief after a particularly stressful day. For the first time in his life, Dazai had friends. In their company he could remove most of his masks, ask questions, vent his frustration and air his misgivings and expect their support in return. With them he could just be the teenager he actually was. Being around Odasaku and Ango had let him feel more human.
Dazai had never had an older male figure to look up to and lean on. (The less said about Mori and the Tsushima men as role models the better. Hirotsu-san treated him with a patient indulgence that was almost grandfatherly and he in turn respected the veteran commander. But their relationship was mostly professional.) Odasaku had filled up a hole in his heart that he never knew he had. (He hadn't thought that he had a heart left at that point.) Odasaku had been the best friend, older brother, mentor and parental figure in one that he had always needed.
Despite their difference in status, it had been surprisingly easy to befriend him. All of a sudden he had started to care, to share and to ask for advice. He had trusted Odasaku as much as he would always trust Chuuya, albeit in different ways. Both of them had been privy to parts of himself that he had refused to reveal to the other, at least back then. He had, more than once sought his soul-friend out with problems he would never let his partner know about. Maybe it was because he needed an adult's wisdom and support. Maybe it was because Odasaku had looked at him without a trace of fear or judgment even at their first meeting. Maybe it was just the double bond.
Dazai had been the eldest of Odasaku's soul-children and the first one to meet him. He had opened up to the older man more and more and he in turn had trusted him immensely. However, they had always seen themselves as soul-friends and sworn brothers rather than soul-parent/child.
Within less than a year of their meeting, Odasaku's other five soul-children had been found and he had adopted them as his own. Dazai had initially thought that a distance would develop between the two of them. He was, after all, definitely not an Oda. Also, no one should trust the Demon Prodigy with their children, right?
Odasaku had been appalled at the very idea and had scolded him soundly for having such a mindset. He had insisted on the newly-promoted executive being a part of his children's lives. Every few days he would be invited to dinner. At least once a fortnight, five adamant children would insist that he spend the night with them. On holidays, he was persuaded into spending at least half a day with the family. He was rarely able to refuse. He liked spending time with the Oda family. Soon, he started seeking refuge with them during bad days when he couldn't or didn't want to rely on his partner.
Sakura had been the first to start calling the Demon Prodigy 'Aniki'. Her older siblings had soon followed suit while their father had quietly encouraged them. Dazai had been quite taken aback. Monsters like him didn't have families. But he had been greedy and selfish and had rejoiced in having a family once more.
He really should have known better. Demons like him only brought destruction to anything good they got close to. Like his mother and grandmother before them, his soul-family too had been doomed thanks to him. He was a failure, a disappointment and a curse who should be hated by them for eternity.
It was for the best if a being like him - someone who only brought death and ruin to everyone - just disappeared. But he no longer had the luxury of running away from the horrific things he had done. He had made promises - to not be a coward, to atone for his past crimes, to never try to destroy himself again. He could just drink on and hope to forget everything for a while.
He continued drinking until his body felt numb, his senses blurred and his mind became confused and sluggish.
Hours later, he woke up screaming with vivid visions of the mangled bodies of Chuuya, Atsushi, Ranpo, Kyouka, Gin and everyone else important to him filling his mind.