Work Text:
Lan Zhan 6 y/o
Wei Ying ???
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Lan Zhan left the empty hut with a bow, hoping that the two pieces of silver he left for the food he consumed would suffice.
If they didn’t, once he found Mother and brought her back to Cloud Recesses, he would come back here and pay the necessary sum. Or… well, he guessed Uncle or Father would sent someone else, since Lan Zhan was going to be punished as soon as he went back, wouldn’t he?
He pushed the thought out of his mind and made his way into the woods again.
The land of Gusu was full of tall, lush mountains and murmuring rivers. The air was pleasantly warm and cool in spring and summer, and fresh breezes always blew in summer. But it was winter now, and the first snow blanketed everything and rendered the air crispy cold and unwelcoming.
Lan Zhan shivered, but not because he was particularly cold. He felt cold, but he felt even colder when he thought that his Mother was wandering without proper winter clothing, assumedly without money for food or shelter, and without company.
His determination hardened by these thoughts, Lan Zhan picked up his pace, navigating the unknown wood with the confidence of a child who was born on top of a mountain and knew nothing but woods. The time was supposed to be early afternoon, but the air became cold quickly. It was not important, decided Lan Zhan, he would keep walking.
Suddenly, Lan Zhan heard a crinkling sound from the direction of the mountaintop. He measured its cadence carefully and quickly realized it was human steps. He had prepared for this scenario, and swiftly spotted and climbed an evergreen. The crinkling sound in the meantime doubled, then tripled, then it sounded to Lan Zhan like the footsteps were coming from all around the mountaintop.
Then, the people were close enough that Lan Zhan could peep at their figures. But they were not exactly people, they were corpses. They trailed down the mountain silently, stiffly, walking a few zhan apart from one another. That was strange, Lan Zhan thought. He didn’t know how corpses moved in groups, but that formation looked like a search party. It struck Lan Zhan as peculiar.
Lan Zhan gripped the trunk as tightly as possible and tried his best to regulate his breathing. He had borrowed a few purifying and repelling talismans from the Sect’s deposit, but he had a feeling they wouldn’t suffice against so many corpses.
Once the corpses were way past him, Lan Zhan deemed it safe enough to climb down. He slowly relaxed his hold on the trunk but while he was turning around, a ball of blue flames was in his face.
He was surprised but was still sitting securely on the branch, enough not to fall, but the sight did make him stop in his track and make his little heart beat very fast.
The ball of flames floated away from a short distance, hovering in front of him as if inspecting it. Lan Zhan was stymied, he didn’t know what this thing was. He wasn’t human shaped like a ghost, but its blue flame was semi-transparent and, of course, blue, so it likely wasn’t some godly beast’s fire.
Lan Zhan was extremely worried, but after a few moments of reciprocal staring the sphere flew away.
Lan Zhan acted quickly then. It started snowing, but that didn’t matter, he would proceed with his initial plan and go into the next town from the mountain, avoiding the main roads.
Suddenly, the sound of footsteps came from the mountaintop again but this time it was so quick, Lan Zhan barely had the time to stop and look for a suitable tree to climb that a black figure ran to him and whisked him off his feet.
“L-Let!” panic made Lan Zhan stutter and before he could remember to kick out or scream, he was enveloped in a thick gray woollen blanket and strong arms held him tight to a chest.
“Sorry kid but no way am I letting you roam a mountain with a snow storm coming!” said a chipper male voice.
“What!”
“No, I-“
“Listen-“
Everytime Lan Zhan tried to explain himself the man leaped over something or walked off of a trunk or disleveled terrain, and at the rhythm the man ran Lan Zhan was jostled so much he was out of breath by the time they reached a cave.
It was small and smelled like overgrown moss and damp dirt, but there was a dry mat, a quanqun bag and a kindling fire so Lan Zhan, who was starting to lose feeling at his extremities, thought it better than the woods, where the volume of the falling snow was in fact picking up quite quickly.
Before Lan Zhan could think about what to say or do, the man took off his shoes, put more wood on the fire and revived it with a two-finger gesture, and started rubbing the blanket around his feet vigorously.
The man looked like in that age that Lan Zhan couldn’t say if he was young or mature. He didn’t have grey hair like the Elders, but he certainly was a grown up. He wore refined black outer robes, appropriately lined with fur, his inner robes were an inappropriate shade of red. Brother said bright red inner clothes were worn at weddings. Lan Zhan deduced that wearing inner red robes in public was scandalous. And Uncle Qiren abhorred scandalous behaviors. Blood red was also the color of the man’s simple hairpiece, and blood red were the tassels hanging from something sticking out of the man’s robe. It took Lan Zhan enough time for the man to switch rubbing his feet to rubbing his hands to recognize. It was a dizi. It was so black it was challenging to distinguish it from the charcoal black robes. And it was beautiful. Lan Zhan had not seen a more beautiful instrument outside of the illustration of the guqin of the Venerable Ancestor Lan Yi.
The man kept murmuring all the while, but Lan Zhan had been too shocked to focus on the man’s voice. He mentally berated himself for his mistake. He needed to judge the man’s intentions and escape as soon as possible.
“This Young Master, what’s your name? What are you doing in the open when the clouds promised a snow storm, it’s too dangerous!”
What was this man thinking, thought Lan Zhan, calling him Young Master, as if Lan Zhan was an adult? The man was surely making fun of him. Lan Zhan decided he would not say anything and directed his gaze outside the cave where, truly, a snow storm had picked up. He tried not to panic at the sight. He could not continue in a snow storm, he knew his limits. He was trapped in a cave with a stranger whose intentions were unfathomable.
“Are you out on a Night Hunt, too? We cultivators should stick together!”
The remark made Lan Zhan look back at the man, this time he forced himself to look him in the eyes. Panicking and avoidance would not help him. The man was smiling kindly, he had small dips at the corners of his lips and laughing silver eyes. His complexion was very pale, probably a result of staying outside in cold weather for long.
The man was nonplussed by Lan Zhan’s silence and stuck a thumb on his chest, puffing it out proudly.
“I almost forgot to introduce myself! This one is called Wei Ying! I’m a rogue cultivator, though I like YunmengJiang Sect the best! I practice demonic cultivation so don’t worry about any scary monsters while you’re with me, alright?”
Did this man… just openly admit to practicing demonic cultivation? Uncle said only the worst degenerates from QishaWen Sect openly trained in the dark arts. Lan Zhan didn’t know what degenerate means, but from the face Uncle made, Lan Zhan deduced it meant nothing good.
Now that Lan Zhan’s eyes started adjusting to the darkness of the cave, he could see that the man was well equipped for travel. A robe hung a pole slot into the rock, presumably to let it dry or warm up, and next to the man’s pouch there was a wooden box with bowls, from where a faint smell of food came from.
Wei Ying seemed to have followed Lan Zhan’s line of sight.
“Ah, Young Master you must be famished, walking in the mountains all day long! Here, have some porridge! This one made it, so it’s delicious and nutritious!”
Lan Zhan started to shake his head no, but the rogue cultivator was faster. He took a bowl in his hands and soon steam curled up above it. Lan Zhan watched the steam, completely amazed, and did not notice Wei Ying holding a spoonful to his mouth. Lan Zhan was still a young child and instinct told him to open his mouth. The spoon was put in his mouth with a happy exclamation, and when it retreated, Lan Zhan’s world exploded.
His tongue, the roof of his mouth, his gums, everything burned with an intensity that Lan Zhan had never imagined possible.
Lan Zhan was a strong boy. All his important people said so. Uncle, Brother, Father, Mother. They told he was a strong boy. But Lan Zhan had never known such a sensation before, a taste so strong it obliterated everything in his path. Lan Zhan tried his best to keep in the tears and swallow, but when the explosive taste slid down his throat he felt like crying all over again.
Lan Zhan didn’t know what face he was making, his whole focus was already on not crying, he didn’t have enough concentration left to keep a neutral expression, but he didn’t think it was that bad. Judging by the rogue cultivator’s reaction though, Lan Zhan’s facial expression must have been supremely bad because the man’s smile morphed into a horrified expression.
“Oh no. Oh, no no no no no, please don’t cry! I’m so sorry! Was that too spicy for you? Sometimes I forget how it tastes and- Wait, I should have some medicine here, hang in there! Did you swallow already? I’m so sorry!”
After rummaging in his bag, Wei Ying pulled out a phial. He uncorked and promptly forced it into Lan Zhan’s burnt mouth. The liquid tasted a lot like milk and a bit like bitter green tea. It soothed the burning sensation, much to Lan Zhan’s relief.
Wei Ying, on the other hand, looked very much distressed. He sat down, pulled Lan Zhan into his lap and proceeded to cocooned him even further in the blanket, rubbing his feet and his arms, murmuring all the time.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Are you alright? Of course you’re not alright, I am so so sorry! I forgot how spicy it was, I’ll taste-check anything else in the future, alright? Are you mad at me? I am very sorry.”
Lan Zhan was held and rubbed in the man’s arms as the man babbled incessantly. The touch was not delicate but it was not unkind. It felt like Wei Ying didn’t know how to deal with a child, or his nature was too impetous to be contained. He rubbed Lan Zhan’s bare feet and arms so much, Lan Zhan’s extremities felt fiery hot. In contrast, the man’s chin touching the crown of Lan Zhan’s head was very cold.
Still apologizing, the rogue cultivator opened the lid of another bowl. Lan Zhan shook in fear for a second, but he drew an instinctive sigh of relief when he saw the white rice. Which he still didn’t need to eat though, because although he took very little food from the farmers’ home he passed by at lunchtime, Lan Zhan embarked on his journey fully knowing that he would go hungry for most of it. He braced himself.
And yet, Wei Ying was still faster than him. In a second, he warmed the rice up, shifted Lan Zhan to the crook of his elbow, and offered a spoonful of rice. But this time Lan Zhan’s self-preservation instinct, having learned from past experiences, kicked in, and made him keep his mouth closed. The rogue cultivator, however, did not force him, but instead… pouted, like a babe of a visiting couple Lan Zhan had seen at Cloud Recesses.
“Are you scared now? I said I’m sorry! See?” the man ate a small portion of rice. “Not a bit of spice, it’s totally bland, neutral, forgettable, perfect for little Young Master of the great GusuLan Sect.”
The last words halted Lan Zhan in his thoughts.
“How-“
Before he knew, the rogue cultivator stuck the spoonful of rice in Lan Zhan’s mouth and thankfully no strong flavors made Lan Zhan’s taste-buds scream in agony. In the meantime, Wei Ying answered his uncomplete question.
“Only a child from GusuLan would be this cute, calm and well-mannered. And well of course there’s also the fact that you’re clad head to little chubby cute toes in white and you have a white ribbon around your head.”
The man smiled kindly at him while Lan Zhan tried to will the heat up his cheeks away. Wearing the ribbon since he could remember, he did not contemplate removing it for the sake of the anonymity of his mission.
Having been told of the dangers of rascals who crave riches and power, and having embarked on a mission that his seniors did not agree upon, Lan Zhan was fearful. But the man called Wei Ying merely smiled, kept on feeding him rice, then tea, and the kept on talking.
“The beast you’re planning to conquer must be very mighty, Young Master! Even the cutest disciple of GusuLan Sect is risking his health in the mountains in the snow and cold. The common people are very lucky to have GusuLan Sect here, despite all their ridiculous rules, they have a kind Young Master like you, who looks out for them so well! This Wei Ying will be your faithful servant in this Night Hunt, Young Master!”
Uneasy with such praise being piled upon him without motivation, Lan Zhan looked up at the kindly smiling man, then at the crackling fire.
“Not hunting,” he murmured.
“Huh? Young Master is not hunting a monster? Then what’s your mission? I know these mountains like my palm, this humble servant with surely be of help!”
Lan Zhan looked into glittering silver eyes, then back at the fire.
“A lady…”
“A lady?”
Lan Zhan nodded. “Cultivator.” At least that was Lan Zhan’s guess. “White robes… white ribbon…”
“Is she one of your friends? Is she one of your playmates? No, you said lady. Your nanny? Wait, do you even play at GusuLan? Is that allowed? You have played before, right?”
Lan Zhan remembered playing games with Mother, only with Mother. As for friends, once he asked the meaning to Brother, who smiled strangely and described the role he himself plays in Lan Zhan’s life. When Lan Zhan said that Brother is his friend, Brother’s smile looked even stranger.
“Mother,” said Lan Zhan, suddenly feeling a tight sensation at the back of his throat.
“Huh? Do you want mommy?”
“The lady cultivator I’m looking for… Mother.”
“Oh? Alright, let’s see, what does she look like?”
How could he describe Mother? A loud laugh, a bright smile, a comforting warmth, hands that smelled like white tea, robes that smelled of gentian flowers.
Lan Zhan looked at the rogue cultivator. How could he describe Mother…
“Alright, alright. How about… When did she go missing? If we know this we can calculate how much distance she covered, we can think about what direction she went in, based on the villages and natural shelters around here.”
That was Lan Zhan’s plan too. Lan Zhan looked at the man closely, he was serious. This grown up was taking him seriously.
“I don’t know when.”
Wei Ying frowned and Lan Zhan hastened to add. “Mother… lives in seclusion. Brother and I… may see her once a month. But- This month… We could not. Brother said… Mother has gone on a journey.”
A long pause ensued, where the rogue cultivator’s expression morphed into something Lan Zhan could not describe, or decipher.
“Oh,” was the cultivator’s response.
Another long pause, where the man licked his lips, looked outside the cave, rekindled the fire, and looked back at Lan Zhan, a light frown marring his forehead.
“Did your Brother tell you anything else? Did he mention stars, or…?
Lan Zhan didn’t know what stars had to do with the journey Mother undertook. He shook his head.
“Uncle said not to speak of Mother again. But… Mother… He… Uncle does not like Mother very much. So, he does not know. But Mother always- always says she loves me and Brother. So… if Uncle casted her away, she would have… she should have said goodbye. Mother said… I will become a great cultivator of GusuLan. So I understand I cannot go with her. B-But-”
“Oh, baby,” said the cultivator, putting a cool hand on Lan Zhan’s head, the other tightening around Lan Zhan’s hip, pulling him closer to the cultivator’s chest. Lan Zhan looked up. He didn’t like the man’s expression. It was similar to Brother’s expression, and Uncle’s, and everyone else who spoke to Lan Zhan regarding Mother in the previous days. He didn’t like that expression at all.
Lan Zhan felt his lips trembling lightly, an increasing heat in his cheeks and a burning sensation behind his eyes.
“S-She should ha-have said…goodbye.”
His whispered words are met with too swift an action for Lan Zhan to see. The next thing he knew, he was held tightly. Only the shape of arms around the cocooning blanket on his back signalled him that he was cradled against a chest. That, and he felt a cold chin at the top of his head.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” said the rogue cultivator. Lan Zhan didn’t want to admit, but it felt good being held. The last time he was held…
“I want to find her… and say goodbye.”
“Oh baby. The next you dream about her, tell her goodbye, alright? She will hear you loud and clear. Then you can let go. You can cry and scream as much as you want. It’s alright. You know that, right? You know it’s alright to cry?”
Nobody told him it was alright to cry.
Lan Zhan held the black robes tightly, scrunching his face in a mess of blanket and robes, smelling of mud and spices. A soothing voice in his ear, and the next thing he knew, Lan Zhan cried himself to sleep.
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“Master, but-“
“…nor far from here-“
Voices Lan Zhan didn’t recognize, the smell of smoke, earth, and spices. A strange sensation of fear at the back of his throat.
“Sweet dreams, Little Lan.” A voice Lan Zhan recognized. He opened his eyes, or tried to, but his eyelids were so heavy. A man with black robes and indecently red under-robes. A kind smile, a cool touch. “Sleep now, dream of her. Tell you love her, and let her go. It won’t hurt less tomorrow, but it will, in the future. Believe me. Ssh, sleep now. And forget.”
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It later became one of the great mysteries of Lan Wangji’s life. Declared missing on a morning in early winter, the GusuLan Sect search party toiled for three days before little Lan Zhan was found in a cave, with no recollections of how or why he got there. He was alone with a fire and a blanket nobody in GusuLan could recognize.
Lan Wangji didn’t remember dreaming about his Mother one winter night. Little Lan Zhan did, though. And though his pain did not diminish, his regret was temporarily attenuated.