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Archive Warning:
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Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Series:
Part 1 of ocean eyes
Collections:
Stucky AU Big Bang 2018, Psychologeek top picks, Stucky - captured by HYDRA
Stats:
Published:
2019-03-10
Completed:
2019-03-10
Words:
36,342
Chapters:
15/15
Comments:
216
Kudos:
929
Bookmarks:
211
Hits:
16,666

Hurts Like Hell

Summary:

Steve falls from the Helicarrier only to wake up, severely injured, to the realization that the Winter Soldier has absconded him away to an abandoned Hydra facility. He doesn’t know why the Soldier rescued him from the Potomac, or why his masked captor treats him as anything but a captive, as he undertakes the task of nursing Steve back to health. He also doesn’t know why certain things the Soldier does resurrect echoes of a man long-dead. Echoes that make Steve’s heart ache with grief.

Notes:

Hey all! Long time on see! Hope you're ready for a wild ride. \ (•◡•) / Buckle in and brace yourselves, this one gets dark. But take comfort in the fact that there is a light....way, way, WAY, in the distance! I promise a happy ending for these two.

Remember that, and enjoy! (~˘▾˘)~

♥ As always, I cannot thank my amazing Beta NurseDarry ENOUGH! For being so helpful, encouraging, and great for making me laugh, THANK YOU NurseDarry for all of your contributions and support! ♥

Last but definitely not least, I would like to thank my collaborative partner for this Bang, @mrs---nicole (aka mom---nicole), for creating some wonderful media for this fic! Go check it out here:

https://soundcloud.com/user-26314425/sets/buckys-thoughts

http://mom---nicole.tumblr.com/post/183360470793/for-onymousann-s-fic-ocean-eyes-its-such-a

-onymousann

 

Disclaimer:

This story deals with how the Winter Soldier was created and kept compliant. Some of the trauma/abuse the Winter Soldier was subjected to may be disturbing to read.

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

‘How can I say this without breaking?

How can I say this without taking over?

How can I put it down into words

When it’s almost too much for my soul alone?

 

I loved, and I loved, and I lost you.

I loved, and I loved, and I lost you.

I loved, and I loved, and I lost you.

 

And it hurts like hell.'

 

 

 

 

✪ Prologue ✪

 

 

The cry doesn’t reach Steve gradually.

Doesn’t wash over him in a gentle wave.

It slams into him, silent, but visceral. A blow as solid as the force of his shield, hurled back at him from across the rooftop on that late spring evening.

From the dark depths of the Winter Soldier’s eyes, the cry emanates, and the memory of that gaze — desolate, haunted, brilliantly blue above the black shadows of the mask — stays with Steve for a long time.

Those eyes ghost through his dreams.

They speak:  a voiceless, enigmatic plea left unheeded.

 

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