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I never had a chance to be soft.
Billy Hargrove grows up way too fast, a little boy with angry eyes and tight t-shirts. California is hot to the touch, the air thick and sticky, and by the time he's fourteen he's already been drinking cheap beer for about a year. He spends the more cooler, bearable nights in his room with the windows open, cigarette burns dotting his fingers and his lips.
The first time he's kissed by a boy isn't too much time after. Has to be fifteen or sixteen.
California's supposed to be better, y'know? That's what everyone says. But if it's better then why does his mother leave?
Why does his father hear one word about what a "faggot" his son is and break his jaw?
I was always bloody knuckles and shards of glass.
It's crazy how the tiny shit town of Hawkins Indiana is actually better. It's not what he's expecting at all. Better might not even be the right word to use. But Billy's stepsister Max seems to like it, and she's not family but he's still protective of her. She likes it even if she's way too friendly with the black kid that hangs around her. Makes Billy's skin crawl, lip curl, but no matter what he says she won't get it through her stubborn head.
No one there knows about Neil Hargrove's fuckup faggot son, and it's something he and Billy for once both are grateful for. Billy can keep up the persona he's forced around himself. It's become second nature by now.
And everything's fine until he takes one look at Steve Harrington and feels the heat pool low in his belly.
I wanted people to be afraid of hurting me.
Everybody stays out of his way.
God don't get him wrong though, Billy knows he's a catch. He can see how girls stare at his ass in the hallway and he'd be a goddamn liar if he said the attention didn't make him smirk. Nah, he wasn't interested, but they didn't know that. If any of those girls stuck around to actually talk to him though, they saw how he was. And pretty soon most of them stayed away from him too.
Steve Harrington with his squinted eyes, his easy smiles, freckles on his face and neck--he stays away too. He doesn't give Billy a second glance.
It's not like Billy minded. It's better this way. And he hated most people to begin with, so it's fine. It's fine.
People know not to mess with him because he'd fuck them up. Everyone is afraid.
Afraid of hurting him.