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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Born as the second son of a high-ranking officer in the Russian mob, Ilya Rozanov is sent to head the Bratva’s overseas branch in Canada. One day, his father calls with an assignment: shut down their rival operation in Ottawa, a money-laundering front backed by the Japanese Yakuza. He’s given one name to go off of: Hollander.

    Shane Hollander is a graduate student in an MD program specializing in sports medicine. There’s nothing particularly interesting about him, other than the fact that his mother, Yuna Hollander, is the CEO of an arts charity—and the daughter of the chairman of the second-largest yakuza family in Japan.

    Unfortunately for Shane, Ilya gets the wrong Hollander.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,051
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    140
    Kudos:
    2,793
    Bookmarks:
    542
    Hits:
    55,184

    14 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is heavier than he used to be; his weight bears down on Ilya in a new way. He’s put on pounds of muscle since Ilya last touched him like this. Ilya flattens his palms, skims them under Shane’s undershirt, feels the flat solidity of his abs, the bulk of his lats, the swell of his chest. It’s the same and it’s new, this body; it’s the boy he couldn’t stop thinking about when he was 18 and the man he loved enough to let go at 26 and the person who somehow always comes to find him when he’s lost.

    A stranger, and the love of his life.

     

    or, Ilya's father doesn't die in 2017; Ilya breaks up with Shane instead of confessing his love. They get older, but not any less stupid about each other. Shane gets a boyfriend; Ilya gets on medication; they work on becoming whole people. And they always find their way back to each other.

    OR a story for those who love Shane and Ilya's baby love but ALSO think it's hot when people in their thirties make active choices about who they are and what they want in their partner!!

    Note: the "cheating" tag refers to the relationship between Shane and his aforementioned BF, not to Shane and Ilya cheating on each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,339
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1,762
    Kudos:
    9,172
    Bookmarks:
    4,099
    Hits:
    224,000

    07 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    merci pour tout ❤️

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov is disappearing one day at a time and no one is close enough to notice.

    He goes to practice. He scores. He says he's fine.

    He writes it all down in a notebook his therapist told him to buy, in a house that feels too big and too quiet. Someone will find it eventually.

    He just doesn't expect it to be Shane.

    -

    OR: A Week in Ilya Rozanov’s Journal as he battles with depression. And everything that comes after almost losing your life and having to learn how to live it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,171
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    318
    Kudos:
    1,599
    Bookmarks:
    405
    Hits:
    27,271

    28 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    frr j’ai tellement pleuré it hits to close to home bref

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Shane has boyfriend?"

    “Mom thinks so. He’s dodging my texts, but it definitely seems like he’s seeing someone.”

    Ilya's whispered "No" was drowned out by a loud snort from another teammate, who said something like, "Good for lil' bro."

    Ilya shouldn’t feel like dying. Should have expected this to happen at some point. Deserved it, even. He had been ghosting Shane for months, after all.

    In which Ilya knows he's not good enough to be with his best friend's little brother. He spirals over Shane possibly dating someone else nonetheless.

    Alternatively, Ilya will always be the one Shane will still run to.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,249
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    128
    Kudos:
    4,152
    Bookmarks:
    884
    Hits:
    38,630

    25 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    WELCOME TO THE NAYBORHOOD!!
    i am Shane i am 7 i live in the house with the blue door
    mom said give you a gift so here is drawing!!
    i draw every day almost every day
    do you like drawing?

    Ilya and his family move from Moscow to Ottawa when he is seven years old. The boy next door draws him a welcome gift.

    Or childhood friends Hollanov told through doodles and notes passed between them. Growing up is hard. At least they have each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,693
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    687
    Kudos:
    5,458
    Bookmarks:
    1,045
    Hits:
    52,008

    25 Jun 2026