vsimpson
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Hermione Granger has always carried an embarrassing secret: she gets turned on by learning. What happens when a tattooed Draco Malfoy shows up to Eighth Year and won't stop whispering interesting stories in her ear?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 164,077
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 1,273
- Kudos:
- 3,732
- Bookmarks:
- 1,548
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Bookmarked by vsimpson
19 May 2026
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"I think you know what this is…"
Newly divorced, 29-year-old Hermione Granger does the most impulsive thing of her entire life: she buys herself a ridiculously expensive sports car and books herself a pre-paid spa weekend at a five-star hotel in the Lake District for her first Valentine's Day alone in eleven years. The only problem is, about halfway there, her fancy car breaks down in the middle of a snowy one-lane country road surrounded by sheep fields. With a nearly dead phone and only one auto repair shop in the area, Hermione finds herself out of luck.
Or… until she meets the sole owner of the shop: Draco Malfoy. The man who disappeared off the face of magical existence three years prior.
How many things can one do in a sports car? Well, Hermione is determined to find out.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,450
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 66
- Kudos:
- 1,100
- Bookmarks:
- 273
- Hits:
- 23,443
Bookmarked by vsimpson
04 May 2026
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He's a grumpy barista. She's a rather annoying customer. As far as he knows, anyway.
Hermione Granger knows better — Draco Malfoy is serving her coffee in the middle of Muggle London. What she can't understand is why. And she's determined to find out.
“If you were happy, really happy, would you even want to know that it was all a lie?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,945
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 130
- Kudos:
- 548
- Bookmarks:
- 125
- Hits:
- 12,879
Bookmarked by vsimpson
22 Apr 2026
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Summary
"Bill glanced toward the window, noting his mum was safely out in the garden, then looked back at Hermione. He found himself swallowing around the sudden appearance of a mouthful of saliva. He felt a twinge of shame. Checking out Hermione felt borderline creepy. She was what, nineteen? No, wait, she was twenty; he remembered now that she was a year older than Ron. Being nearly thirty, that one-year difference shouldn't have mattered, but for some reason, twenty felt like a much more ‘adult’ number to justify his wandering eyes. He allowed himself one last glance at the delicate bow ties fastened at her waist before forcing a sigh."
Bookmarked by vsimpson
02 Apr 2026
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Summary
"All her growth was the conveying of a corpse of hope."
(From 'The Rainbow', D.H. Lawrence)This is a story about coming into one's own, a meditation on the twilight of girlhood and the violence of crash-landing into womanhood. Follow Hermione as she navigates through the quagmire: Saving the world, getting top grades, falling in love, lust, and a whole lot of trouble, and comes out of it hopefully (at least) partially sane.
Series
- Part 1 of Here We Go Round The Prickly Pear
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 728,096
- Chapters:
- 108/108
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 7,436
- Kudos:
- 12,551
- Bookmarks:
- 6,996
- Hits:
- 1,441,241
Bookmarked by vsimpson
30 Nov 2025