tothineownself



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    07 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Shane, honey, what happened?”

    Shane inhales sharply, his breath hitching. “That house next door to you? The one that was just sold?”

    “What about it?” Yuna asks, unable to tell where the conversation is going.

    Usually, Shane is one of the easiest people to read on planet earth. He wears his heart on his sleeve, even though he typically doesn’t intend to, and it’s one of her favorite things about him. Now, though, she’s at a loss, and she finds that she kind of hates the feeling.

    “Your new neighbor is Ilya Rozanov."

    or

    David never catches them at the cottage. Months later, Ilya moves to Ottawa. Yuna figures it out as she goes.

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    01 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Ilya, you don’t actually want to watch these, I promise. They’re just boring old kiddy games.”

    Ilya blinks. “Shane. Are you trying to tell me that I will not like something because it is ‘boring’? I think we have plenty of evidence that this is simply not true, no?”

    Shane fixes him with his most withering glare. “Well, if I’m calling something boring, imagine how boring it actually is.”

    “I know you are trying to trick me, Hollander,” Ilya states, raising a single brow. “But you will not deny me my right as your husband to see baby Shane in his tiny little skates.”

    Or: Shane and Ilya watch some of Shane’s old home movies. It leads to a few revelations.

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    28 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 25

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    “Ilya Rozanov?” He asks tentatively.

    A memory from 2008, the Prospect Cup gold medal match, going home with silver flashes through his mind, back when he was set to live another life, races to the front of his mind. Ilya raises an eyebrow at Shane’s question.

    “Holy shit.”

    Because the most beautiful man Shane’s ever seen was also going to be his greatest rival before Shane fucked his knee.
    ------
    The last person Shane Hollander ever thought he'd see ten years after screwing up his knee and changing the trajectory of his life, was his old rival turned model, Ilya Rozanov and he wasn't prepared at all for how good Ilya looked and how much he liked looking at him.

    And how much he liked Ilya looking back.

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    24 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Perfectly fine. I’ll be good as new in a couple of days.” 

    “Good.” A moment of quiet on the other line. Shane could hear Ilya breathing. 

    “I love you so much. You know this, yes?”

    “Of course I do. And I love you too. I’ll see you…” Shane had to consider when the next day they could visit would be.

    "When you see me," Ilya supplied.

    “I'll see you when I see you. Okay. Sure.”

    “Bye, Shane."

    “Bye.”

    The Boxing Day argument doesn't happen, Ilya doesn't seek professional help, and he and Shane keep pretending everything's fine. In the last few weeks of the season, Ilya reaches a breaking point. After saving his boyfriend's life, Shane is forced to grapple with the broken pieces, figure out what went wrong, and try to slot everything back together again.

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    24 Jun 2026