thecheeseburgercat
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Recent works
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Summary
Wyll Ravengard is one exhausted grad student, needing some quick cash in the midst of a busy semester. Luckily for him, Professor Szarr has an easy task at hand—to watch over his beloved husband Astarion for the weekend, while Cazador flies off for a conference.
See, Astarion is ill. Very ill.
Or...is he?
~*~
"Uh," Wyll stalls. "I mean...thank you, sir, for trusting me with this. But I don't really have any experience with nursing, or any caregiving really—wouldn't it be better to hire a day nurse, or—"
"Astarion is not just sick in body," Szarr interrupts. "I'm afraid he's also quite sick in the mind. And you understand the mind, Wyll. You understand it better than many of the students I've seen over my years here. So please, tell me. Are you willing to do this?"
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Deep in the Shadowlands, Oliver just wants a friend. Unfortunately for both Wyll and Astarion...they're the ones chosen to be said friends. And now it's up to the rest of the party to wrangle two adorable but terrified six-year-olds—when every little twig wants to eat them.
~*~
"Chk," says one stranger adult, a green lady who looks like a frog. Wyll is instantly on edge around her, her sword is very big and very bloody with gunk. "What has happened here?!"
"Oliver cursed Wyll—and Astarion," Karlach says. "They're both adorable little tykes, at least for now. You know, I say we keep them like this."
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Meet Astarion Ancunín: entry-level fashion designer, spending his 9-5 toiling away at questionable graphic designs for Szarr Garments, Inc. Meet Wyll Ravengard: the new FaeEx delivery driver whom Astarion can't get enough of. And finally, meet Cazador Szarr: boomer boss extraordinaire who rules over the production room with an iron fist.
~*~
Or, the author is projecting BIG TIME, and needed to take it out on her favourite characters.
~*~
Cazador takes his seat at the head of the office, by the only windows. Immediately he clicks on his computer and his eyes narrow as he reads through his emails. There can’t be that many; Astarion knows that Cazador is always checking his emails at two in the morning. Sometimes Astarion really, really does suspect that Cazador is an actual vampire.
Alfira brings Cazador his coffee; he takes it with a grunt of thanks. Astarion sips his tea.
And then it starts.
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The Whipping Boy by thecheeseburgercat for not_whelmed_yet
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
01 Apr 2026
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Eight year old Wyll Ravengard has everything he could ever want—save a friend. And then he meets a saddened but sweet elven boy in the park, and gains far, far more than he bargained for.
~*~
Wyll now sees a scratchy tangle of rope, ebony black with nine tails of knotted smaller ropes descending from a central coil. A cat o' nine tails, his mind helpfully supplies as his stomach drops.
"Father," he whispers, feeling all of a sudden lightheaded with fright. "Please..."
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On Dhampirs, Mothers, And Storybook Endings by thecheeseburgercat
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
17 Dec 2025
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Summary
Blade and Dagger, adventuring through the frontiers, writing the next chapter of their story together. But it has a couple of twists that even Volo couldn't pen if he tried...something to do with long-lost parents and dhampirs.
Or, the story in which Astarion both finds his mum and finds a surprise within.
~*~
"Of course not," Adhara laughs. "For me it was mince pies. Used to love a good mince, and then all of a sudden I couldn't bear to be in the same house as one. No, but I had a lot of the common symptoms when I learned I was expecting you—and it's quite normal for us elves to sleep heavily while we're pregnant."
"What did you just say?" Astarion croaks, his face sheet-white.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 193,639
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 12
Recent bookmarks
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Baldur's Gate 3 Documents Work Skin and Tutorial by Professor_Rye
Fandoms: No Fandom, Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
03 Sep 2024
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Summary
Do you like Baldur’s Gate 3? Awesome! Because so do I! This is a workskin tutorial used to recreate various scrolls, letters, and slates from the game
See Chapter 1 for the general overview, Chapter 2 for examples of each different type of documents available with this workskin, and Chapter 3 for the complete CSS and HTML codes and tutorials.
Bookmarked by thecheeseburgercat
03 Oct 2024
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Summary
Primarily just where I share work skin code and discuss ways to improve the Ao3 experience, including:
- Twitter and Instagram like posts
- Non iOS messaging systems
- Avatar and image formatting for script formats.
- Search engine interfaces
- Documentation on AO3 Site SkinsSeries
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,494
- Chapters:
- 12/?
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 100
- Kudos:
- 910
- Bookmarks:
- 1,097
- Hits:
- 48,133
Bookmarked by thecheeseburgercat
11 May 2024
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How to Make iOS Text Messages on AO3 by CodenameCarrot, La_Temperanza
Fandoms: No Fandom
10 Apr 2016
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Summary
This is a tutorial/live example on how to mimic iOS text messages on AO3 without the need to use images. There's also a chapter on how to have emojis displayed on AO3 as well.
Series
- Part 3 of AO3 Work Skins/Tutorials
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,500
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 385
- Kudos:
- 4,591
- Bookmarks:
- 4,487
- Hits:
- 202,190
Bookmarked by thecheeseburgercat
07 Apr 2024
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Summary
Padfoot, Wormtail and Moony on rituals, entropy and the moon.
Bookmarked by thecheeseburgercat
29 Aug 2023
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Summary
Sirius finds out Remus's secret — or at least, he thinks he does.
Series
- Part 5 of Scaffolding 'Verse
Bookmarked by thecheeseburgercat
05 Mar 2023