monster_mercat



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Boston Raiders, has a boyfriend. A definitely real, suspiciously (and boringly) handsome, conveniently offline, consistently unable to meet up in real life boyfriend.

    Who lives in Canada.

    Unfortunately for him, absolutely no one believes him.

    The more serious Ilya gets about his Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️, the more concerned his teammates become that someone either needs to call MTV and get him on the next episode of Catfish or that he's slowly losing his mind.

    Shane Hollander is, fortunately, very real, very sarcastic, and increasingly delighted that an entire NHL locker room seems to think that he's a government psyop to distract Ilya from his game.

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    17,633
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    1/1
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    07 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Pummel: Fuck Jane

    St-Simon: nah…

    St-Simon: i dont think shes done anything wrong…

    Pummel: youre right

    Pummel: Sorry Jane

    Pummel: FUCK ROZANOV

    Varkov: FUCK ROZANOV

    Connors: Hey guys did you see this article about Rose Landry and Shane Hollander?

    Carmichael: Bad timing, man.

    Connors: Oh

    Connors: Give me a second to read back.

    Connors: Oh….

    Connors: FUCK ROZANOV

    [Or, how the Raiders---in particular the long suffering Cliff Marleau, dealt with the Great Jane Debacle of 2016, told in a series of texts, posts, and Cliff being the best Bostonian friend Ilya could ask for]

    Series
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    English
    Words:
    7,733
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    1/1
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    1
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    618
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    20 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “You will not be so nice when we beat you,” Ilya told Shane Hollander, holding onto his hand, not letting him pull away. Not yet.

    But Hollander’s brow furrowed, not in anger but in confusion. “Ah, um, sorry,” Hollander said. “Merci. My English is bad. Worse… than you. Maybe slower?” And he leaned in, like that would help him understand.

    Ilya’s eyebrows rose, and his smile widened.

    Or, Ilya Rozanov grew up in Russia. Shane Hollander was raised in France. When they first meet, neither of them can speak English very well. Somehow, it’s easier to understand each other when words aren’t getting in the way.

    (Stand-alone remix of “I’m Reading Your Lips (You’re Speaking My Language)” but this time neither of them are native English speakers, and learning a new language is sort of like falling in love, if you think about it.)

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    1/1
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    27 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    There’s no humor in Shane’s voice. It’s cold, hard, determined. “When we meet them on the ice next season, I want to fucking destroy them.”

    After a moment, he feels Ilya nod thoughtfully behind him.

    “Is good plan. Let’s fucking destroy them.”

    The Montreal Voyageurs won't stop slinging mud at Shane in the press, so Shane and Ilya decide to get revenge the best way they know how.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,949
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    1,286
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    20 Dec 2025

  5. Public Bookmark 13

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    Marty's regular Saturday night plans for pool, darts, and drinks is interrupted by a preppy baby with a busted up face looking to make bad decisions.

    Omake from chapter one of "Sing if You're Glad to be Gay"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,217
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    257
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1,517

    28 Nov 2025