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Brevity and Opulence by loveindirtytrenchcoats
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies), SPECTRE (2015), James Bond - All Media Types
31 Dec 2015
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Summary
There’s no time to grab anything to defend himself with, because the first hinge on the door snaps open with a bang, and the second follows on the next hit. The door rips backwards, thrown to the floor by the same man Q had been in the ski lift with, who smiles menacingly and draws a knife from his jacket. The Quartermaster wonders how long it will take for James to realise he’s missing.
Before the henchman even gets in his first hit, Q knows it’ll be too late.
[SPECTRE semi-rewrite, inspired by the well known draft script]
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
29 Jun 2026
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just like old times (please don’t ever change) by Rosslyn
Fandoms: James Bond (Craig Movies), SPECTRE (2015), James Bond (Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
27 Nov 2015
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Summary
Sometimes when Q is alone in his workshop and there is an experiment that needs to be supervised and he can’t go home and he can’t sleep, he watches Bond’s vitals.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,173
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 122
- Kudos:
- 5,109
- Bookmarks:
- 992
- Hits:
- 37,288
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
21 Jun 2026
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The One Who Made Him Stay by JayPendragon
Fandoms: James Bond (Movies), SPECTRE (2015), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
31 Dec 2015
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Summary
Twenty-one days after the Double-oh programme is reinstated, James Bond returns to MI6 with his Aston Martin and without Dr Swann. This is only the beginning of Q's problems.
A Spectre Fix-It. COMPLETE.
Series
- Part 1 of Fixing Spectre
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,015
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 791
- Kudos:
- 5,496
- Bookmarks:
- 1,252
- Hits:
- 145,935
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
20 Jun 2026
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Summary
Nodus Tollens: the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore
Q's life at the technical help department of MI6 was decently quiet and paid reasonably well - it even gave him vacation time, although he rarely used it. So when Q was finally coaxed to leave work for a bit and relax, he thought that Paris might be fun.
Of course, that was before the gunfight, witnessing a shooting, and being kidnapped by a strange, blue-eyed gunman named James Bond.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 88,045
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 1,563
- Kudos:
- 7,367
- Bookmarks:
- 2,377
- Hits:
- 151,735
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
20 Jun 2026
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Summary
"Most people just pick whatever flower they think is prettiest. It doesn’t require a lot of input from me.”
The man walks up to Q, leaning against the counter between them. “Well then, what can I do to get your input?”
(In which Q runs a flower shop, and his newest regular is almost definitely a spy.)- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,412
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 298
- Kudos:
- 7,489
- Bookmarks:
- 1,876
- Hits:
- 54,245
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
20 Jun 2026
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The Courtship of Mr. Bond by marlovingian
Fandoms: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, James Bond (Craig Movies)
18 Jul 2013
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Summary
In which Bond is a retired naval commander with too much house, Q is a mechanical engineer with too many sisters, and they have lengthy conversations about decorum, bonnet-ribbons and philosophy in Regency England.
~
“I just thought you might go pay a visit," his mother suggested.
“Me?” Q asked, aghast. “Pay a visit?”
“He must be starved for proper gentleman company, now that he’s settled in so far from London--”
“I am far from proper gentleman company.”
“--and perhaps if you befriended him he could introduce you to some nice heiresses.”
“Heiresses?” Q repeated, baffled and horrified. “What in the world would I do with heiresses?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,669
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Comments:
- 578
- Kudos:
- 10,446
- Bookmarks:
- 2,748
- Hits:
- 148,730
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
20 Jun 2026
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Sigh No More by dhampir72
Fandoms: James Bond (Movies), James Bond (Craig Movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
13 May 2014
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Summary
Bond wants nothing more than for someone, just once, to be waiting for him at the airport when he returns home.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,231
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 552
- Kudos:
- 10,658
- Bookmarks:
- 3,135
- Hits:
- 130,094
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
20 Jun 2026
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Quriosity by dr_girlfriend
Fandoms: Skyfall (2012) - Fandom, James Bond (Movies), James Bond (Craig Movies)
01 Dec 2013
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Summary
COMPLETE! Bond finds himself increasingly curious about his enigmatic Quartermaster.
Excerpt:
"Your prior hotel is no longer secure, I will direct you to a new location. Your luggage has already been transferred. A field agent and medic from the Diréction Générale de la Sécurité d'État will be waiting at the side entrance. I have cleared them both personally." In contrast to his crisp dry English, Q's pronunciation of the French words was fluid and flawless, the throaty tone of the fricatives sending a surprising jolt of awareness straight to Bond's cock — all the more remarkable given his degree of blood loss.
"You're wasted on Q-branch, you have the voice for a phone-sex call-in line." The words slipped out of Bond's mouth without forethought, although he had plenty of time to think in the sudden pause that came afterward and stretched on for endless moments. Bond hadn't realized until now how Q was always there, with an immediate reply. In all their banter Q had never before been at a loss for words. Ever.
Series
- Part 1 of Quriosity Verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 79,986
- Chapters:
- 33/33
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 2,936
- Kudos:
- 11,295
- Bookmarks:
- 2,911
- Hits:
- 305,384
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
19 Jun 2026
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Summary
Mobius and Loki head to a luxury resort, in order to scope the place out for a mission. Unfortunately, no one told them they'd have to pose as a couple the whole time, and Mobius isn't sure his heart can take it. Will he be able to think fast enough to fool the friendly pair they're trying to get information from, without revealing to Loki his true feelings, or will he break and pour his whole entire heart out?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,202
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 8
- Kudos:
- 22
- Bookmarks:
- 5
- Hits:
- 171
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
19 Jun 2026
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Summary
"Sheriff Mobius," Odin said, with the thinnest veneer of civility. "You wish to compete?"
"Yes, your majesty," said Mobius, with the thinnest veneer of fealty. "I know I'm not exactly royalty, but I'm the closest thing my little district could scrape up."
There was a ripple of laughter in the crowd, though whether they were laughing with or at Mobius, Loki couldn't tell. Most likely at. It didn't matter.
"Oh, dear," said Loki. "I just remembered, there's no requirement that the suitors be royalty. Must have slipped my mind when I was coming up with the rules."
[There's a tournament for Loki's hand. He may have a trick or two up his sleeve.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,516
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 6
- Kudos:
- 36
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 355
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
18 Jun 2026
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Summary
Fifteen years have passed since Aziraphale returned to Heaven, and still sometimes Crowley feels shell shocked and embarrassed and grief-stricken. And mostly, he still feels numb. Fifteen years isn’t really so long, in the grand scheme of things, and yet these have somehow been the longest years of his existence. He can almost feel time crawling by, laughing at him.
But slowly, so slowly, Crowley began to try again. To try harder. To find a piece of himself that Aziraphale had not touched. To find a piece of himself that does not need changing.
On his good days, he can open up. His friends come over to the flat, once in a while, and Maggie brings new records and Muriel brings burnt cookies that no-one complains about because they're so proud of them. They'll exchange stories and simply enjoy each other's company for a few hours.
And sometimes, he feels almost alright.
Until Crowley turns around and Aziraphale is there, standing in front of him, trying to stop the world from ending all over again.
Series
- Part 1 of we are ineffable, my dear
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100,666
- Chapters:
- 28/28
- Comments:
- 641
- Kudos:
- 1,546
- Bookmarks:
- 355
- Hits:
- 40,636
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
05 Jun 2026
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Summary
Crowley gets reinstated as an angel.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 106,998
- Chapters:
- 60/60
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4,246
- Kudos:
- 9,814
- Bookmarks:
- 3,127
- Hits:
- 232,861
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
05 Jun 2026
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Summary
Once upon a time, an angel and a demon hitched a ride on the Ark.
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
26 May 2026
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Apple Blossom by illogically_ineffable (Hadlathneth)
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
17 May 2026
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Summary
The problem - his problem - was a certain cute bookseller who worked there and the fact that Anthony couldn't imagine his morning without making heart-eyes at him through the dusty shop window anymore.
Or, Anthony and Asa's first meeting, but from Anthony's perspective.
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
24 May 2026
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three's company by Goldmonger
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
17 Apr 2026
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Summary
“Rocky,” I say sharply. The irritation feels unpleasant inside me, foreign like a toxin.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,286
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 209
- Kudos:
- 5,305
- Bookmarks:
- 1,042
- Hits:
- 21,384
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
23 May 2026
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Summary
Anthony J Crowley had been plauged by dreams for much of his life, but it simply never occured to him that they might be true. That was until he met the kindly bookseller who looked far too similar to the man he'd been dreaming about.
OR
S3 Fix-It where Aziraphale and Crowley start to remember their old life together.
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
17 May 2026
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Misfire by VivatRex
Fandoms: Supernatural, Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
18 Feb 2020
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Summary
Crowley finds himself in another universe; Aziraphale goes to fetch him. In the meantime, Team Free Will has to figure out what to do with the 6,000 year old demon that won't stay in a devil's trap and keeps rooting through Dean's vinyl collection. Shenanigans ensue.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 99,362
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 15
- Comments:
- 2,123
- Kudos:
- 13,411
- Bookmarks:
- 3,343
- Hits:
- 266,639
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
16 May 2026
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let me feel your heartbeat (grow faster, faster) by thehoyden
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
04 Jul 2019
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Summary
Aziraphale saw him sometimes in all-staff meetings, sitting toward the front but off to the side, lounging against a wall. Even then, he’d had style—wings tipped in gold and face painted with gold flakes in the pattern of the first constellation he designed. He was amazing, and eye-catching, and it was no exaggeration to say that he did not know Aziraphale even existed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,043
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 458
- Kudos:
- 15,974
- Bookmarks:
- 3,047
- Hits:
- 97,742
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
16 May 2026
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Summary
“Isn’t this nice?” says Aziraphale with badly feigned casualness the next time Crowley stops by for a late night drink.
Crowley is all set to reply, words lined up in his mouth waiting to go, when Aziraphale adds,
“I mean, all of the books and furniture and bottles of wine and things?”
Aziraphale nests. Crowley relearns some crucial facts about angelic courtship rituals.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,608
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 645
- Kudos:
- 16,594
- Bookmarks:
- 3,277
- Hits:
- 103,574
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
15 May 2026
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Summary
CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan.
AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we?
CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all.
AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous.
CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.***
Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.
But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,541
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,207
- Kudos:
- 22,744
- Bookmarks:
- 5,990
- Hits:
- 148,873
Bookmarked by monocrastinator
15 May 2026