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  1. Rec *

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    “It is the worst day of my life,” Ilya declares, throwing himself dramatically onto one of the kitchen stools. “I went to go get lunch at Russian place I like, the one with lamb pelmeni? They had sign on the door. They are closing. Forever.”

    -

    Or: Ilya’s favorite Russian restaurant in Ottawa is going out of business. There is only one thing Shane “Mr. Real Estate” Hollander can do.

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    22 Jul 2026

  2. Rec *

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    22 Jul 2026

  3. Rec *

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    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

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    21 Jul 2026

  4. Rec *

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    [Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sit together in a sterile interrogation room. There’s a height chart on the wall behind them, and a harsh light hangs overhead. Next to them on the table is a polygraph machine.]

    Producer: Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander. 

    Shane: Yes.

    Ilya: Yes, those are our names. See how truthful I’m already being?

    Shane: You’re not even hooked up to anything yet. 

    Ilya: I’m just establishing how honest I am before we start. 

    Producer: Well, that’s good because you’re both here to take a lie detector test. The way this works is that one of you will be hooked up to the machine while the other asks questions, and then you’ll switch. Judd [the camera switches to show a man with glasses and stark white hair sitting at the polygraph machine] will be reading your results in real time. Shane, you’ll go first.

    Shane: Goody. 

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    21 Jul 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Shane Hollander doesn't fight. That doesn't mean he can't. In fact, when lines are crossed during the first game Shane plays against his former team since becoming a Centaur, people are about to learn it means exactly the opposite.

    or

    My version of a crack fic, brought to you by whoever it was that mentioned they thought Yuna would have put Shane in Martial Arts as a kid, and that’s the reason he doesn’t fight.

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    21 Jul 2026