dumpsterdiva
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Keith’s a good noodle™ who just wants to watch a movie in an empty theater. He doesn’t deserve some motormouth asshole interrupting his peace and quiet. Or that guy dumping popcorn on his head. Or all his idiotic jokes. Or his kinda cute smile. Or the free packets of Sour Patch Kids. And he definitely doesn’t deserve the fact that he’s starting to enjoy his company…
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What do you do when you pick your rival in Secret Santa?
Obviously, embark on a stealth mission to find out his interests and get him the best possible present and prove to him that you're better once and for all.
What could go wrong?
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Keith’s mouth hung open for a few seconds before he stammered, “D-do you really mean that?”
Lance looked a bit sheepish as he said, “I… It’s crazy, right? I mean, it’s way too soon. You know I was kidding.”
Keith straightened up. “Well, I’m not. Marry me.”
“What?!”
“You heard me, you coward. Marry me.”
“That’s the worst proposal ever!”
“Worse than you threatening me with marriage so I would stop talking about how amazing you are?”
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Tbh all I want for Christmas is a gay Christmas romcom but since Hollywood can't give me that I guess I'll have to give it to myself. Except I took out all the unnecessary hetero drama. Ya know, just two dudes being guys. Just two guys being dudes. And giving each other makeovers because it's Christmas. And saying cheesy things to each other cause it's Christmas. And giving each other lots of snuggles and kisses cause it's Christmas.
BOY I SURE DO LOVE ME A HEALTHY ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP.
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Everyone has something they’re not good at. For Lance, that’s mechanics. For Hunk, that’s flying. For Keith, that’s staying calm. With the pressures of an intergalactic war starting to eat away at them, they go to each other for help, hoping to improve themselves. But maybe the answers they’re looking for aren’t the answers they need.
For The Primary Big Bang (psst there's cool art inside!!!)
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Recipe for this fic:
1 peaceful morning jog in the park
1 auto-mechanic hothead keith
1 soccer player sinamonroll™ lance
2 cups mutual pining
A dash of angst
All the sugar in the world
Way too many bad pick-up lines
And a burn so slow you could slow roast a whole Kaltenecker
Recent series
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You, I Always Need You by hollano_ov
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
10 Feb 2026
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Shane really isn't looking for a relationship, which is why having Ilya around is nice. No strings attached, only great sex. It's a win all around.
The only problem is that Ilya is way, way too nice to Shane's stupid cat.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,013
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 736
- Kudos:
- 13,221
- Bookmarks:
- 3,741
- Hits:
- 96,663
Bookmarked by dumpsterdiva
05 Jul 2026
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homegrown by Anonymous
Fandom Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
03 Jul 2026
- Words:
- 132,927
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 946
Bookmarked by dumpsterdiva
04 Jul 2026
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The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed.
Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.
Reentry is harder than expected.
Series
- Part 8 of my heated rivalry anon fics
- Part 1 of homegrown
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,174
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4,143
- Kudos:
- 33,136
- Bookmarks:
- 13,961
- Hits:
- 651,667
Bookmarked by dumpsterdiva
04 Jul 2026
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Competition is Better With a Friend by some1_around
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
11 Feb 2026
- Words:
- 39,915
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 2,710
Bookmarked by dumpsterdiva
06 Jun 2026
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"You have been playing like this?" Ilya mused. "With this? For how long?"
Hollander's mouth was flat. "Two weeks."
"Wow." Ilya let out a low whistle. "Pussy makes you better at hockey."
Bookmarked by dumpsterdiva
20 Apr 2026