chitty



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    No matter how much he loved his husband, Shane had always wanted to be a star hockey player first and foremost, not a 'gay hockey player' defined first by his sexuality.

    He had also made peace with what their marriage meant, and the challenges they faced in hockey because of it; he had found happiness in the bubble they had in Ottawa with the Centaurs.

    That safe bubble burst one day with an unexpected call from Hockey Canada, and by the time it was all said and done, there was going to be a picture of Shane beside ‘gay icon’ in the urban dictionary.

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    27 May 2026

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    “He’s such a jock,” Cassie says with a chuckle. She puts her glass of dark liquor on the bar so she can fold her arms. When she sees Ilya looking at Bood, she laughs and shakes her head. “Oh no, I’m talking about your man. That guy is hockey if it was a person. And thank god for that, I’ve seen those Reebok ads.”

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    25 May 2026

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    Ilya Rozanov is, maybe, perhaps, a little unhealthily obsessed with his cycling instructor, a man who does not know he exists. Or, Ilya corrects himself, he may know he exists—he is Ilya Rozanov, after all—but, the point still stands.

    Shane Hollander is a former college hockey player turned Peloton instructor with some very dedicated fans.

    Happy (early) Shane Hollander's birthday to all who celebrate! This story starts May 10, 2021.

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    20 May 2026

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    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

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    19 May 2026

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    “I’m sorry,” Shane chokes, closing his eyes. Rozanov draws his hand, pulling Shane’s with it, to his face and wipes his cheeks.

    “There is nothing to be sorry for, любовь моя, it is okay,” Rozanov murmurs, tugging at Shane’s hair again. Shane exhales, letting him clean his cheeks. “You got overwhelmed, yes? It happens.”

    “I can’t be fucking normal,” Shane says quietly, whining, head falling back, pressing into Rozanov’s hand.

    “No, if you were fucking normal, you would not be my Shane.”

    // shane is a liar, and he's tired of it all. his life falls apart, and he finds that he doesn't actually mind.

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    19 May 2026