catchandelier
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Summary
More than eight-hundred thousand girls with the Spark stolen away under Sturmhalten from all across Europa, and not one was a Heterodyne? Pfsshyeaaaah, right, sure.
And the moon is made of cheese, and all the stars are pickled onions, and you really think that’s how statistics work?
There’s nothing stopping a Heterodyne from divining the Jägertroth and the Jägerbrau by alternate means, including just making it up. That’s what they did the first time; so doing it again is fine. Which is to say:
A hearth witch in Europa has a multitude of skills. Physicians are rare and hospitals scarce— but life still needs living. Poultices and medications, liniments and embrocations, bone mending, wound binding, midwifery… Sparks hold the minds of the people, but hearth witches understand the heart; and provide what care is needed.
What do you need to get rid of wasps?
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Tryptich by catchandelier
Fandoms: The Locked Tomb Series | Gideon the Ninth Series - Tamsyn Muir
26 Jul 2025
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Summary
“I know there is no reason for you to trust me. You are my only hope, however, that any of this will survive what is coming next. I’m sorry if it is not to your taste. Please don’t leave it behind,” Naberius Tern said. He set a wrapped parcel on the table, turned, and said, “And tell Ortus that we are still friends, if you can, Ninth. At least one of you in that miserable pit—” before he sighed, and left.
It was the last time we ever saw him alive.
Inside the parcel were three books— the entire Noniad, rendered into three heavy volumes, bound with black leather and ornate gilding and glittering gemstones. One through eighteen, in the first and largest book; twenty-one through twenty-six, in the next largest book. The last, the twenty seventh volume, was barely more than a quarto— nine pages, nine verses, each of nine lines.
And it is said that Paul decoded it, read it, laughed, and wept.
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My Life as a Teenage Direbeast by catchandelier
Fandoms: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
20 Jul 2025
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Summary
Yuui ██ Grimsby, as she can’t help but call herself, is juggling her duties to the other people in her dorm with her new anatomy and her past life horrors and her bloodlust for a man who doesn’t exist now and her granny’s legacy and being an ordinary human-enough teenage direbeast and reconciling her many disparate memories into one being and being a teenage girl and remembering being everything that wasn’t a teenage girl and why is she so sweaty ugh and god all the men at this school are so fucking hot what the fuck and taxes and we have to make icecream with all this fucking milk and what do you mean she’s seventeen she’s not seventeen and—
There’s a really cute man with curly hair like a burning hyacinth, and he’s like her but the other way around? Haunted and haunting and so handsome she could scream.
…Do you want to make video games with me, Senpai?
When is a Coffin like a Chrysalis?
When the creature within is utterly changed upon emergence.Each chapter is hovering gently around 20k. Expect sporadic updates accordingly. 😘💋 love you baaaaaiiii
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Dan Heng’s Mom (Has Got It Going On) by catchandelier
Fandoms: 崩坏：星穹铁道 | Honkai: Star Rail (Video Game)
25 May 2025
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Summary
Dan Feng probably needed a mom; this is my version of how Dan Heng actually got one. A story in the form of a list.
AKA
We’re springing Dan Heng from jail with this one boys!
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The First Second Birthday of Orianna Reveck by catchandelier
Fandoms: League of Legends, Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
24 Nov 2024
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Summary
Some people are born, and born again; and some people rebirth themselves for lack of better options.
Orianna Reveck, despite the ludicrous slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, is going to live.
Sera and Gwen are going to help her.
Also, Sett’s here. Hi, Sett.
Hwei is a real guy that needs money for food! And also, shocker, has friends!
Oh and also, Reckoning isn’t actually pro-wrestling… even though it totally is.
Series
- Part 4 of Save The Last Song For Me
Recent series
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Save The Last Song For Me by catchandelier
Fandom Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021), League of Legends
24 Nov 2024
Summary
This story is about Seraphine. This story is not about Seraphine. This story is bigger than Seraphine. This story cannot exist without Seraphine.
Many people struggle to move from thinking to doing. And motivation is only a part of the issue. The key to action is situational interest. Start by exposing yourself to the thing you want to do. For example, watch people cook if you want to cook. Keep learning and engaging with your interest. Over time, this helps build a passion, even if it feels awkward at first. Reflect on what you’ve learned and ask deeper questions. This shift from external to internal motivation makes progress more consistent, reliable, and helps build confidence. By exposing yourself to what you want to do, asking questions and exploring what you want, and transitioning from thinking to doing, you will surely become who you want to be.
And then you will save the world.
- Words:
- 297,469
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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SVKK: Collection by catchandelier
Fandom Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
05 Jun 2023
Summary
Satine Kryze and the Paths of the Dead — What if, and stay with me now, What if STAR WARS was… good? What if Jaster Mereel won? What if Satine Kryze was a genuine hard leftist?
Songs and Poetry — Sometimes you’re reading an epic poem and your brain goes “you could make it Mando™️” and then you’re six days in and it’s all comin’ together now.
Hot Ones: S’atin Vhe’ehn’tiin Kaleo Kryze — hehehehhehehehehehehe
We Meet Again in All This Noise — Just for Fun, what if scenarios, sequel scribblings, etc
- Words:
- 861,548
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 12
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Summary
The Sky is an Ocean. Every Ocean has people who are Native to it. (Because Portgas D. Rouge deserved more than being shoved into someone's backstory fridge, and nothing is ever so simple as it seems.)
Expect: Fanfiction tropes taken to logical extremes. Explorations of the Practical Necessities of Being a Pirate in the World of One Piece. Sex and Romance being Serious Business. Depth. Character interaction. Throwaway lines and gags gaining more significance as the story progresses. Heroes from Other Stories showing up for Reasons. Polyamory. Terrible Decisions. Excellent Decisions. Childbirth. Memory is a Crapshoot. The Speed of Belief. The Sky is an Ocean. Magic. Miracles. God. Fairies. Faith. Emotions. Souls. Stealth crossovers. Women menstruating and discussing subjects important to them. Puberty. Trauma is not a Free Action. Realistic(ish) depictions of Terrible Actions and their Consequences. Baby murder. Miscarriage. Wild Party Animals. Military boarding school. The Glorious War of Sibling Affection. Forgiveness. Sacrifice. Sexism. Black Humor. Fart Jokes. Unshakeable Resolve. Unflappability.
And more Sweet References than you can shake a fist at.
- Words:
- 762,996
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 36
Recent bookmarks
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The Line Between Meditation and Murder by Half_DeadSerious
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime & Manga)
11 Jun 2026
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Summary
“-Can you swap with Sukuna at will?”
“Sukuna?”
Sukuna tuned back in at the sound of his name reverberating from the brat. He didn’t especially like to deal with sorcerers, not without a fight. And he certainly didn’t think doing so at the moment was a good idea for his sanity or that fragile box of rage he was keeping carefully tucked away.
In for five. Out for eight. Breathe.
“Yeah, that curse you ate?”
“Oh, uh. Mm-hm, yeah, I think I can do that.”
NO.
“Okay! Give us like-”
“Uh, actually, he says.. No?”
"...He says no?"
*****************
Or: SIkuna is not supposed to be alive right now. Or as alive as this even is, sealed in multiple bits of his own flesh. This should not be happening. At all. He'd thought he made it clear that this was the opposite of what he wanted happening.Kenjaku- When I catch you Kenjaku-
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,124
- Chapters:
- 9/?
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 379
- Kudos:
- 2,120
- Bookmarks:
- 844
- Hits:
- 33,349
Bookmarked by catchandelier
25 Jun 2026
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Hourglass by ensou
Fandoms: Cyberpunk & Cyberpunk 2020 (Roleplaying Games), Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game), Parahumans Series - Wildbow
20 Aug 2025
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Summary
Permanently cut off from her friends, her world, and now her own body, Taylor finds herself stuck in one of the worst places she could be: Night City. A city you can only ever escape from, not succeed in. A city that will chew you up and spit out the pieces.
Well, at least she's in good company?
Bookmarked by catchandelier
23 Jun 2026
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This work isn't hosted on the Archive so this blurb might not be complete or accurate.
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Summary
This is a heartwarming story of love, crime, and the trials of becoming a father to an adult woman who wants nothing to do with you or your military government. It's actually her story but that's not really how Jiraiya would tell it. Also, some of it's in Japanese. That is purposeful and we are not taking feedback on it, or anything else. :) Rating for language
- Bookmarks:
- 12
Bookmarked by catchandelier
05 Jun 2026
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Summary
It starts with a ferret body and a human soul that refuses to vanish quietly. It turns into a home built out of paws, blankets and the kind of care that makes monsters nervous.
Gojo Satoru was supposed to be untouchable. Then the ferret curled up in his life and taught him a new kind of infinity.or
A girl isekais into a ferret and becomes part of Jujutsu society and accidentally speedruns found family, reform and emotional demolition of the Strongest. Clans hate it. Students adore it. Gojo Satoru is... coping.
or
A ferret bit Fate (Gege) in the face and changed history.
🐾🐾🐾
A/N: Fast Updates because prewritten over months for my private consumption before I decided to post it.
Bookmarked by catchandelier
04 Jun 2026
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Summary
The cat blinked, nearly in disbelief. Sitting on their living room floor was a blubbering toddler. As if that hadn’t been the worst news of the day, at that very moment the child looked up and met its eyes, and the cat beheld a terrible, awful sight.
On his brow was wrought a jagged, ugly scar.Or: Arabella Figg’s cats are smart, but there are some things that can’t be accounted for by kneazle blood. Let’s be honest, though—if you had to pick, being a spoiled house cat is a pretty good way to spend your second life.
Bookmarked by catchandelier
03 Jun 2026