Yeah_Im_Sad_Your_Point



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    Shane calls a phone sex hotline and gets Ilya crooning unspeakable filth in his ear. It kind of devolves from there.

    ———

    Ilya is a college student in Boston working on the side as a phone sex operator, Shane is still a hockey player. They have toe-curling, dirty phone sex and end up falling in love along the way.

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    131,243
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    10/10
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    24 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): i keep thinking this is some sort of insane dream
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): but no. we got SHANE HOLLANDER.
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): because of HOMOPHOBIA!
    Sherlock Holmes (Carter Holmberg): rare homophobia win
    Shane Hollander: Well let’s not go that far.
    El Capitan (Ilya Rozanov): holmberg please refrain from being pro homophobia in the group chat or shane will report you to management

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told through a number of increasingly unhinged texts

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    13/13
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    26 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “What is there to talk about?”

    “What’s there to talk about?!” Hollander scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re playing for my fucking team!”

    “I know.”

    “Why did you have to go and get traded?! You realise we’re going to have to see each other every day from now on, and play together, and-”

    “Yes,” Ilya interrupted. He didn’t want to know how long Hollander’s list was. “I know.”

    Hollander took a deep breath. “Okay, listen,” he said. “Just so we’re clear - we don’t know each other outside of playing against each other, right?”

    “Right.”

    “And we can’t- can’t hook up anymore.”

    ~

    OR: Ilya gets traded to Montreal in October 2014. He's lonely, and angry, and he misses Boston. He doesn't know if it helps that Hollander is there or not.

    title from Buckle by Florence and the Machine

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    21 Jun 2026

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    “I’m sorry,” Shane chokes, closing his eyes. Rozanov draws his hand, pulling Shane’s with it, to his face and wipes his cheeks.

    “There is nothing to be sorry for, любовь моя, it is okay,” Rozanov murmurs, tugging at Shane’s hair again. Shane exhales, letting him clean his cheeks. “You got overwhelmed, yes? It happens.”

    “I can’t be fucking normal,” Shane says quietly, whining, head falling back, pressing into Rozanov’s hand.

    “No, if you were fucking normal, you would not be my Shane.”

    // shane is a liar, and he's tired of it all. his life falls apart, and he finds that he doesn't actually mind.

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    31 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane learns too much about his friends and their sex lives. They talk about things they’ve done in bed, and Shane starts to wonder if he’s doing something wrong.

    Curiosity piqued, the desperate get resourceful. Sometimes, those resources include asking the guy that you sometimes hate to teach you what you’re missing.

    Nothing can go wrong.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    32/32
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    28 May 2026