Weirdpanda



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    "So you kissed him," Nobara says carefully, tapping her nails against her cup. "After ten years of pining, might I add. Then what happened?"

    Megumi opens his mouth, but no words come out. His voice sticks in his throat and chokes him. The silence stretches on; Nobara stops her tapping.

    "Megumi," she says slowly. "Then what happened?"

    -

    Nine days after his twenty-sixth birthday, Fushiguro Megumi steals a scarf, kisses his best friend, and ruins everything.

    (Or, alternatively: nine days after his sixteenth birthday, Itadori Yuuji lends a hoodie, rejects a mission, and ruins everything.)

    (NOT ABANDONED!! i just write slow)

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    25 Jul 2026

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    In the aftermath of the novel, the Lan elders cite an old Confucian rule in refusing to acknowledge the unwitnessed marriage between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji: it is inappropriate, they say, for a younger brother to marry before the elder.

    In the face of mounting attempts to drive Wei Wuxian from the Cloud Recesses, and rampant infighting for the position of Jin sect leadership, Jiang Cheng proposes marriage to Lan Xichen. The marriage, he says, will cement their allyship and bring stability to the crumbling coalition of the Great Sects.

    Unfortunately, the new couple just do not get along.

    Xicheng enter a marriage of convenience. After much strife, they agree to try anew. Eight years pass in peaceful co-existence, but they eventually capitulate to requests from elders to annul the marriage and beget heirs. However, they soon realize that it's not so easy to put eight years of marriage behind them. Falling repeatedly into bed together, they begin to navigate a shameful, secret relationship.

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    27 Apr 2026

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    This was torture. Lan Xichen was torturing him. He really had been scheming all this time, Jiang Cheng decided, scheming to torture him with perverted and shameless fantasies until he went mad from sleep deprivation.

    Well that fucker had another thing coming. This marked the third day since his last visit to the Cloud Recesses. Four more days. Then he’d return for their standing appointment.

    Either to fuck Lan Xichen or kill him. He’d decide when he got there.

    He lifted his head enough to finish the wine, dropped it back on the table, then hiccuped.

    * * *

    four days later. . .

    When Jiang Cheng sobered up, he realized his fuck or kill plan was insane. Obviously he couldn’t do either of those things, no matter how much he wanted to—not that he wanted to fuck Lan Xichen. He didn’t. Obviously. That had been the wine talking.

    Obviously.

    (or: A very dense Jiang Cheng misinterprets Lan Xichen’s painfully subtle proposal of courtship by convincing himself that Lan Xichen must be plotting something nefarious. (Why else would he waste his time drinking tea and taking strolls with a bad-tempered, bullheaded asshole he barely knows??))

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    23 Apr 2026

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    Something unreadable is on Kakashi’s face, but he doesn’t seem impressed. “You two are eloping?”

    “No,” Naruto says pointedly. His gaze drops to the floor. For once, he chooses his words carefully. “But if he can’t stay, then I’ll go with him.”

    Kakashi’s voice is grave. “You’re the number one candidate for Hokage. You tirelessly ranted on and on about how this is your dream. Are you going to give up all that hard work?”

    “It’ll just be a little while,” Naruto mutters, not quite believing himself.

    “Surely you aren’t that naïve, Naruto,” Kakashi warns. “If you leave with Sasuke, I don’t think we’ll ever see you again.”

    “I’m not being naïve,” Naruto says. “I would come back.”

    Kakashi’s voice has dropped any pretence of humour. “I thought you hated people who lie to themselves the most.”

    After their legendary battle and final fight in the Valley of the End, Naruto slowly heals in the hospital. Sasuke doesn’t.

    Three years later, whilst on a diplomatic mission to the Hidden Grass Village, Naruto encounters a masked mercenary who takes him by storm.

    Cover art drawn by leah_0g on Twt!

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    10 Apr 2026

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    It's not that Isagi has acquired a taste for voices like Rin's that are rough and commanding, it's that he thinks Rin's voice is the exact same voice he's been jacking off to for the past few months. He might be going insane or this might be the craziest coincidence but he's obsessively listened to Puppeteer_VA's audios enough times that he's confident he can recognize his voice anywhere.

    He just never thought that voice would appear before him in the same city he lives in, at his same university, taking the same stupid class as him.

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    26 Feb 2026