Quicksand32



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    A series of Ilya and Shane struggling to get people to take their relationship reveals very seriously at all.

    The fics in this series are set in the same universe, so these are the SAME Shane and Ilya. Although they can be read in any order, Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️ takes place roughly 5 years before Pour Decisions.

    Words:
    24,758
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    950

    20 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In which Ilya comes back to room fourteen ten.

     

    Canon divergent from, and following directly after, s01e01 when Ilya leaves Shane's hotel room. Contains Ilya being a provocative dick, Shane being unable to resist rising (ha) to it, too much discussion of chicken, some David Attenborough, Shane negotiating his feelings and interpersonal relationships with all his classic suavity and skill, and as much sex as two nineteen year old professional athletes can fit into one evening.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,436
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    954
    Kudos:
    5,587
    Bookmarks:
    1,695
    Hits:
    43,399

    18 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya is not going to steal Shane Hollander's dog. That would be illegal. And wrong. And someone would probably find out and make Ilya give him back.

    So. Not stealing.

    But there is nothing wrong with giving Chernysh all the pats and treats that he deserves, is there?

    Nothing wrong with encouraging Chernysh to spend more and more time at Ilya's house until he doesn't even remember who Hollander is.

    Because Hollander is stupid and boring and does not deserve a dog as good as Chernysh. No, he doesn't, does he? Because Chernysh is the best boy in the whole world, yes he is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,349
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    3,386
    Kudos:
    13,767
    Bookmarks:
    5,283
    Hits:
    197,942

    18 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya has no idea what had led to the confrontation, or why, even now, the words hit him like a blow to the gut, the finality of them knocking the air from his lungs like a wave of frigid ocean water. In that moment, Hollander had closed a door between them, forever, and apparently that mattered, because Ilya had gone to bed, angry and alone in a luxury hotel suite, and then he'd woken up in fucking Saskatchewan several years earlier.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,004
    Chapters:
    10/13
    Comments:
    283
    Kudos:
    273
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    7,295

    10 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    10,228
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1,731

    19 Jun 2026