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it's not me, it's you by moonsteps for luminvies
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
13 May 2023
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“A Vahumana student came up to me this morning and asked why she saw you leaving my house.”
“So?”
“So,” Alhaitham continues, “you always make such a big deal about hiding the fact that you’re freeloading off of me—”
“I am not freeloading—”
“—so I decided to respect your wishes and instead told her that we’re in a relationship.”
Everyone thinks Alhaitham and Kaveh are dating. Obviously the only solution is to stage a public break up.
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
14 Jul 2026
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“Perhaps I should have you beg me to burn you, doctor. You always force me to ask for it.”
Dottore snorts. “The difference between you and me is that you are a desperate, needy pain slut and I am… I’m going to—a-ah!”
“Going to what?” Pantalone laughs, voice high and sweet as he dribbles hot wax below the sharp jut of a collarbone. “What do you plan to do, darling? You’re all tied up.”
Il Dottore’s in one of his tempers. Pantalone is unmoved. Over candlelit tea, one thing leads to another.
Series
- Part 3 of A Hundred Visions and Revisions
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
27 Jun 2026
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nest by telepathicflower for leaderofthedolphins
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
10 Mar 2026
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Kaveh wakes up to find that Mehrak has turned into a human child.
A door creaked open. Kaveh let the spatula fall onto the floor with a clatter at the reminder that he had no idea how his roommate would react, and Alhaitham—
“Dad!” Mehrak exclaimed, dashing into the corridor.
Series
- Part 1 of daughter mehrak
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,237
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 116
- Kudos:
- 663
- Bookmarks:
- 135
- Hits:
- 4,682
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
10 Jun 2026
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Kaveh rushes into Alhaitham’s office, his shirt askew and his rumpled hair falling into his face. “Have you seen my feather?” he asks breathlessly.
Alhaitham thinks of the obnoxious teal hair accessory Kaveh is always sporting. “Do you expect me to be responsible for the careless misplacement of your belongings?”
“Fuck you,” Kaveh snaps. “It was on my bedside table last night. Where did you put it?”
Kaveh has an annoying habit of stealing Alhaitham’s things.
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
28 May 2026
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give me all your poison by magicbeings for hyperfixgirl
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Jun 2025
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Sirius has a Twitter archenemy. He also has a massive crush on this boy he keeps seeing everywhere. And he has no idea they're the same person.
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
18 May 2026
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Father Remus Lupin usually thinks of himself as a good person; he runs a youth group, takes shifts in the confessional every Sunday, and sticks to all of his vows (yes, even the one of celibacy). But he begins to think he's being punished when Sirius Black starts showing up in his confessional booth every week, describing in painstaking detail all the very, very sinful thoughts he's been having.
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
13 Apr 2026
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Marlene McKinnon is a mess. She can’t sleep, she’s almost certainly going to fail all her NEWTs, and she’s 99% sure that if they don’t win the Quidditch Cup this year James Potter will throw himself headfirst off the Astronomy Tower. On top of all that, there’s a war on, yet their professors seem determined to pretend that the biggest problem any of them are facing is finding a Ministry internship. Marlene’s final year at Hogwarts has barely started, and she’s already pretty sure it couldn’t get any worse—that is, until she shows up for her first Potions class and hears the assignment.
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Dorcas Meadowes is a stone-cold bitch. At least, that’s what everyone says. She doesn’t need well-meaning professors or overeager classmates or teammates or boyfriends or friends. She doesn’t need anything except to be left alone, the way she likes, until the day she finally leaves school. And she certainly doesn’t need Marlene McKinnon, with her sharp tongue and her snorting laugh and her stupid shiny hair, who seems intent on ruining everything that Dorcas has been working towards for the past two years.PLEASE DON'T POST MY FICS ON GOODREADS/STORYGRAPHS/ETC.
PLEASE DON'T REPOST MY WORKS ON ANY OTHER SITES.Series
- Part 1 of The Hand That Feeds
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 235,586
- Chapters:
- 52/52
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 2,346
- Kudos:
- 6,259
- Bookmarks:
- 2,381
- Hits:
- 287,257
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
07 Apr 2026
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Remus isn’t great at technology. Fortunately, when he breaks his computer the night before his keynote speech and has to take a chance on an unusual repair shop, he gets lucky.
Really lucky.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 168
- Kudos:
- 726
- Bookmarks:
- 111
- Hits:
- 5,850
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
07 Mar 2026
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“What do you want me to do?” Remus says, tiredly. All he wants is to curl up on his bed. Smoke a pack of cigarettes. Get drunk. He can’t stop looking at Harry.
“Remus...” Dumbledore is gentle. Remus hates when he has that tone. Hates that he knows it will hurt. “There is no one else left.”
A bitter laugh escapes him. “So you’ll curse the poor thing with a werewolf for a guardian?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,459
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Collections:
- 59
- Comments:
- 5,377
- Kudos:
- 50,955
- Bookmarks:
- 16,049
- Hits:
- 1,044,362
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
26 Feb 2026
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The Sandwich Thief by amperstellar
Fandoms: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
31 Mar 2015
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Summary
Someone at work has started stealing Jason's lunch every day.
And leaving stupid letters behind in its place.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,171
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 516
- Kudos:
- 7,559
- Bookmarks:
- 1,471
- Hits:
- 79,412
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
22 Feb 2026
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Whoops, We're Boyfriends by gracerene for Queenie_Mab
Fandoms: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
24 Feb 2016
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Summary
Everybody knows Percy and Jason are dating. Except Percy and Jason.
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
16 Feb 2026
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“He’s upset because I’m not a virgin,” Remus responded. “At least not completely.”
James looked like he was sorry he had asked. “You’re not?”
Remus groaned in exasperation and dropped his head into his hands. “Why is everyone so interested in this all of a sudden?”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,073
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 11
- Kudos:
- 1,993
- Bookmarks:
- 224
- Hits:
- 40,462
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
10 Feb 2026
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Summary
"Now, Remus prided himself on his maturity and his ability to not give many fucks about people’s opinion of him (unless it concerned his furry little problem). But this was Sirius, and everything had always been different with Sirius. Somehow it really bothered him that Sirius thought of him as this inexperienced innocent boy. Which he really, really wasn’t."
When James proposes a game of Never Have I Ever, Remus sees an opportunity to come out to his friends, change Sirius' false image of him, and perhaps win some money in the process.
Series
- Part 4 of the moon and the stars
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
10 Feb 2026
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From The Sidelines by suffocatingspring
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
12 Dec 2021
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Summary
When long-time enemies, Bakugo Katsuki--the all-star athlete and rascal of Ise--and Izuku Midoriya, the town sweetheart, are paired together for a long-term project, the quiet beachside town of Ise suddenly gets a bit louder.
In which, Katsuki is an asshole pole vaulter, Izuku is going to fail psychology, and both are about to have the most intense spring semester yet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 404,533
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Collections:
- 135
- Comments:
- 8,145
- Kudos:
- 59,460
- Bookmarks:
- 14,393
- Hits:
- 2,572,898
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
06 Feb 2026
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Summary
“I’m so, so sorry,” the man continued, wiping a bead of sweat from the side of his temple with the sleeve of his faded Blondie t-shirt. He wore ripped black jeans and black and white Chuck Taylors and had his own messy curls, just like the baby. “I had no idea Teddy would be such a handsy little fucker at these story times, but he’s always grabbing… fuck, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t say fuck in the children’s room. Shit, I did it again, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.”
***
After James and Lily died, Sirius Black's therapist told him not to date for a year. And that's just as well. He's got a 13-month-old baby now and quite enough to deal with, thanks. But the nosy neighbors in his building keep trying to set him up and won't take no for an answer. Enter Remus Lupin, another single dad who pretends to be Sirius's boyfriend, just to get the old lady brigade off his back and nothing more. Nothing more at all.
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Wolfstar Bingo Prompt: Fake Dating (free space)- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 70,348
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 2,730
- Kudos:
- 9,331
- Bookmarks:
- 2,787
- Hits:
- 181,736
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
05 Feb 2026
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Summary
And that was how Remus ended up with four weeks of detention, three suspended Hogsmeade visits, two truly mortifying pamphlets on wizarding secrets to safe sex that made Sirius cry with laughter, and one unshakable ally in Marlene McKinnon.
Or: Five times Remus and Marlene cover for each other and the one time they decide not to.
Series
- Part 1 of Remus Lupin Character Studies
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,083
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 226
- Kudos:
- 1,891
- Bookmarks:
- 408
- Hits:
- 21,723
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
30 Jan 2026
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The Great Gay Pornstar Twitter Feud of 2020 by Vixeree
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
28 Feb 2020
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Summary
“So what I’m hearing is that you’ve got a date with your hot, clever, fellow porn-star twitter nemesis, of whom you once said ‘I’d rather die than let that pretentious knobcloud touch my dick’... is that about right?”
“... Yes.”
Or; Remus Lupin forgets to turn the fucking camera on.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 76
- Kudos:
- 3,982
- Bookmarks:
- 646
- Hits:
- 50,019
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
26 Jan 2026
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A Store of Happiness by coyotesuspect for familiardevil
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
12 Mar 2018
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Summary
Harry spends the summer after his third year living with Sirius and Professor Lupin.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,845
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 889
- Kudos:
- 23,186
- Bookmarks:
- 5,380
- Hits:
- 212,182
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
19 Jan 2026
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Summary
James and Peter are out of sorts because Remus and Sirius are fighting. Except that they're not. They're REALLY not.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 81,757
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 404
- Kudos:
- 4,523
- Bookmarks:
- 1,215
- Hits:
- 117,087
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
03 Jan 2026
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bottom of the inkwell by maladaptivewriting, something_about_mothman
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Feb 2024
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Summary
Sirius hates a lot of things. He hates early mornings, he hates losing Quidditch matches, and he hates his parents. But most of all, Sirius Black hates Remus Lupin.
Bookmarked by MyOwnWorstEnemy
31 Dec 2025