Lemonlen
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How Astarion tried to steal a Ruby and ended up stealing the heart of a wizard instead by Queen_of_the_Dots for smilingflash
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
25 Apr 2026
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Summary
When the Netherbrain fell and the Absolute was defeated, Astarion lost any chance he had at a peaceful life.
To avoid having to look after 7000 spawn alongside his once siblings, he turned his hand to mercenary work. Murder, stealing blackmail evidence, anything that nets him enough coin to survive.
But when those jobs dry up, and he has plenty of money to live off of for a while, he entertains himself with purloining jewels from establishments that are far less deserving than himself of owning the precious gemstones.
Which is why he's currently dressed to the nines, invitation to a museums benefit in hand. He plans to use the event as a distraction so he can steal the star attraction of an upcoming exhibition.
The Crestalian Ruby, the most gorgeous necklace Astarion has ever seen. And the only place it belongs is upon the only person who could possibly rival its beauty. Himself.
Until a familiar face appears, and his plans for the night get a bit more complicated than he planned for.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,061
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 20
- Kudos:
- 91
- Bookmarks:
- 16
- Hits:
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Bookmarked by Lemonlen
06 Jul 2026
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When Halsin propositions Astarion at camp in broad daylight, the spawn has his doubts. Specifically about their campmates hearing them. Halsin helps him feel more comfortable with a helping hand.
They have soft sex in the woods. That's the fic.
Inspired by Cerudinae's artwork
Bookmarked by Lemonlen
06 Jul 2026
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Astarion leaned closer then, voice lowered for only one pair of ears.
“Are you trying to start something?”
Valen glanced at him at last, mild surprise arranged beautifully across his face. His green eyes clear, entirely unbothered, as though he had not spent the last several minutes undoing him inch by inch beneath the table.
“Start what?”
His hand slid higher.
Astarion nearly laughed despite himself, because truly - this man is appalling.
“You are unbearable.”
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or, a silly little idea that made it out of my notes app.
Bookmarked by Lemonlen
06 Jul 2026
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Astarion has had a shit week. A shit life, really. He has tanked his reputation, crashed his boss's car, and now he is going to die in the middle of nowhere.
Then Gale of Waterdeep comes along and rescues him.
Maybe he'll get that holiday after all.
Bookmarked by Lemonlen
02 Jul 2026
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“So there are three hundred thousand here?”
“No, Jayce. You bred me so well there are enough here for three seasons.”
A million.
Jayce has a million babies—guppies, to take care of. By the gods.
Bookmarked by Lemonlen
31 May 2026