IamATrueLady
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“I am sorry,” he says. “I am not trying to fight. I just don’t like the idea of you not being okay and me not knowing, even when I am in the same place as you.”
That Shane can understand. He wouldn’t like it if their positions were reversed, after all, if he thought Ilya was potentially in danger and he was in the next room over drinking champagne and making smalltalk. He sees Ilya go somewhere in his head sometimes, sees him retreat inwards, sees him check out even if his body is still there, going so deep inside that he doesn’t even catch Shane’s eye for a bit even when something funny happens, too far away for Shane to reach him.
But it’s also not like he can just go up and grab Ilya by the arm and pull him away from the party, not without inviting speculation and a whisper storm. He doesn’t have that right, doesn’t have that privilege, to potentially need Ilya or be needed by Ilya and be able to just pull him away.
It’s moments like these that Shane feels the weight of their secret like a physical thing.
(5 times shane and ilya couldn't be openly together and 1 time they could)
- Language:
- English
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Bookmarked by IamATrueLady
30 Jun 2026
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He stared at the screen. His body was thrumming, vibrating with a desperate, pent-up energy that made his skin feel too tight. It had been two days. Two days of Ilya saying start. Two days of Ilya saying stop. Two days of being edged until his brain felt like it was melting out of his ears. The ache in his balls was a dull, constant throb, a pressure that bordered on agony.
But it felt so good.
Two men, one secret, a decade of choosing each other in every wrong way possible.
Shane Hollander is careful, controlled, and very good at performing both. Ilya Rozanov is the one person who has ever seen through it, and the one person Shane has never been able to perform for.
What started in Vegas in 2011 has followed them through six years of rivalry, obsession, and something else neither of them has been willing to name. When Shane falls apart, will Ilya be able to put the pieces back together again? Whether what he builds from the pieces is something Shane can survive is another question entirely...
Series
- Part 1 of evil ilya
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ready to dive by sezsskywalkers
Fandoms: Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
15 May 2026
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because it’s never once been casual—and shane’s the first to slip
or how, with rozanov’s jacket clutched in his arms and the concrete stairs cold beneath him, shane realises; yeah, i’m super fucking gay
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“What did J.J. say?”
“Oh, nothing, really.” Rozanov drawled, completely at ease in his chair beside Shane, as if he were a king on a throne, ready to deliver the finishing blow. Hayden took a sharp breath of relief. Good, J.J. was still loyal, at least. “Just how you kept trying to set Shane up with whoever would take him, as long as it wasn’t me.”
or: shane hollander is done with hayden pike's bullshit
Bookmarked by IamATrueLady
27 Jun 2026
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another day, another struggle by blushgush
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
24 Jun 2026
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Shane Hollander’s hopes for the NHL were ripped from him by an ACL tear and replaced with doctor prescribed opioids at age 18. Four years later, hockey is a distant memory and his days consist of strange men and chasing a feeling drugs can never seem to provide anymore.
Ilya Rozanov’s family returned home to Russia when his father’s mental state deteriorated and the government wasted no time snatching back his work visa. Ilya stayed behind in that godforsaken city to do the only thing he had ever been able to support his family doing: sell dope.
Ilya sees a lot of sad people. Shane sees a lot of horny men. Neither of them are prepared for what they see in each other, and what it means for the boxes they’ve allowed themselves to be put into.