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Hen Wilson's Four Part Guide To Making Your Stupid Friends Date by songbvrd
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
27 Nov 2024
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“Okay, I know we kind of all had an unspoken rule not to talk about it, but…”
“Buck and Eddie are being weird as hell?” Chim asked, sucking in a breath like he'd been holding back from letting the same thought out for far too long.
“Yes!” Hen hissed, relieved that she wasn't the only to see the weirdness in the room. “Now, look, they're my friends and so obviously I want them to be happy, but it's also just throwing the team vibe way off.”
Bobby took a long, tired breath. “Okay. So what did you have in mind?”
Several things, as it turned out. Between them, they managed to come up with the very vague outline of a plan. Or a few plans, really, depending on how many failed.
OR -
When Buck and Eddie aren't speaking, Hen decides to take matters into her own hands.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,010
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 180
- Kudos:
- 4,765
- Bookmarks:
- 1,212
- Hits:
- 51,375
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
17 Jul 2026
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“Dad, your hand looks like it’s covered in sh—poop.”
Buck is definitely glad he catches himself just in time, remembering he’s in the presence of a child who has taken on the definitely not annoying trait of copying random words Chris says.
“See?” Buck exclaims, pointing to Eddie but looking at Theo. “Now who’s Mr. Poop?”
Theo giggles, a beautiful sound that makes Buck’s heart squeeze.
“You’re still Mistah Poop,” Theo declares.
“But…” Buck looks around the kitchen, hoping someone will back him up. The Diaz boys are no help. He should probably kick them out for apparently siding with the toddler and not the man they’ve known for almost nine years. “He’s the one with the poop hand!”
Theo giggles again, of course—Buck just said poop. The phrase “poop hand” is probably being filed away for Theo to repeat again at the most inconvenient of times, likely when Diedra comes for a surprise visit or when Theo finally meets his parents—if that ever happens, of course.
“Yeah, he’s Mrs. Poop!”
or; A casual night of baking leads to Theo marrying Buck and Eddie, somehow. Buck is definitely normal about it and doesn't spiral for the next 36+ hours (this is a lie).
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
17 Jul 2026
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And, fine, maybe Eddie likes it, okay? Maybe keeping up the veneer of his heterosexuality is not as important to him as making sure Buck's hands are on him at all times. Maybe he's a six foot man in his thirties who likes it when his best friend - maybe the love of his life? Eddie's doing extensive studies and the results are coming out with heart eyes - manhandles him a little.
The question is now, of course, what Eddie is going to do about it.
Eddie Diaz wants his best friend to pick him up and maybe throw him around a little. He gets, perhaps, a little crazy about it.
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
17 Jul 2026
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a guide on how to uncouple two platonic best friends by lifelessframe
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
17 Jul 2026
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Summary
“I hate when you guys act like–” Chris cuts himself off with a groan.
Buck and Eddie frown and look at each other “Like what?”
“Like you’re–“ he huffs in frustration.
“What, Chris?”
“Like you’re a married couple!” he blurts out “Like you need each other before making any major decisions regarding me just because you’re so codependent, like you… ugh, just stop! I don’t need you ganging up on me” and with that he slams the door shut.
Teenagers are complicated. When Buck and Eddie won’t allow Chris to go to a certain party, he ends up saying something that sends them into a spiral. More so when everybody seems to agree with him.
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
15 Jul 2026
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“Eddie, I’m in love with you,” he says, heart thrumming in his chest, in his throat, in his mouth. He feels hot and cold and dizzy by turns.
“What?” asks Eddie faintly, barely even a question.
“I’m in love with you,” Buck says again. “I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to, but I am. I am.”
“You– Right, okay,” says Eddie, so visibly buffering that it makes Buck’s heart clench a little in his chest. Of course he’s in love with Eddie. How could he possibly have let himself pretend otherwise. “Wasn’t expecting this, bud,” says Eddie, and he sounds so shocked that Buck can’t help a wry smile. Of course Eddie’s surprised. They must be the only two people in existence who didn’t already know. “I– Buck, man, you know that I care about you, but…”
“I know,” he says gently to Eddie, because he did know, but that doesn't make this moment hurt any less.
---
Post season 8, Buck confesses his feelings, Eddie lets him down as gently as he can, and they both try to figure out how to be just friends.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,476
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 412
- Kudos:
- 4,340
- Bookmarks:
- 956
- Hits:
- 39,310
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
07 Jul 2026
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“His name is Reginald,” Buck said, unable to keep a note of annoyance out of his voice.
Ravi whistled. “Sounds fancy. You gonna go out with him?”
“You guys are the worst,” Eddie grumbled, but he was smiling. Smiling because Reginald, a hot British man, had asked him out only an hour after Buck had tried to tell him how he felt.
And there was also the fact that Reginald looked just like him. So somehow Eddie was attracted to Buck, but … not attracted to Buck. Buck couldn’t decide if this was a good thing or a bad thing. If Eddie stood them next to each other, would the problem solve itself? Or was it that stupid accent that made Reginald infinitely hotter and therefore removed any possibility that Buck could ever get Eddie to notice him that way?
“Well, are you? Because if not, I might,” Harry said, which caused everyone to cackle.
“We’ll see,” Eddie said, but the sparkle in his eyes said it all.
___________
5 times Eddie’s new boyfriend is a little too similar to Buck, and 1 time Eddie realizes it.
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
03 Jul 2026
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oh pretty baby, and if it's quite alright, i need you baby by madforyou
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
28 Jun 2026
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No. Whatever it is, no. Eddie would like Buck to stop chasing whatever that thing is. Would like to grab the thought out of Buck’s concussed head and throw it out a window.
Buck’s face drops into something serious, eyes wide. “You called me baby.”
There it is. Out the window it did not go.
“No, I didn’t,” Eddie says.
Very smooth. Convincing.
“You did.” Buck points at him, floppy and triumphant. “At the— the thing. With the— you said it. You called me baby.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Eddie.” Buck is delighted. “I heard you. I was concussed, not deaf.”
“I didn’t call you baby,” Eddie scoffs. “I called you a baby. Because you got a bump on the head and were crying about it.”
“That’s not—” Buck starts.
“You were being a baby,” Eddie continues, standing now, because a moving target is harder to hit. “I’m gonna go tell the others you’re awake.”
“Eddie.”
“Rest your head, bud.”
Or,
Eddie calls Buck baby by accident.Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
29 Jun 2026
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Summary
fulgurate: to flash or dart with sudden brilliance. the act or process of flashing like lightning
Before Buck was struck by lightning, he was a beta.
When he leaves the hospital, he's an alpha, and he's mated.
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
24 Jun 2026
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“Didn’t know you were seeing someone.”
Buck just laughs. Like, honest to god giggles. Eddie is stuck fighting off doubly massive waves of butterflies and confusion, all while Buck just gazes down at him.
“That’s cute,” he hears Buck mumble, just before climbing into the truck, calling Eddie after him.
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or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,258
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 639
- Kudos:
- 20,738
- Bookmarks:
- 5,153
- Hits:
- 241,181
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
20 Jun 2026
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“I might regret asking this but…” Ian trails off, hesitating until Eddie nudges him, urging him to continue. “Buck,” he says, simply.
Eddie frowns. He doesn’t remember Buck doing anything particularly weird or notable. Hell, he doesn’t even recall him and Ian talking that much. Is that weird? Is Ian worried that he didn’t get the best friend stamp of approval, or something? “What about him? I mean, he can be a little much sometimes, but he mellows out—”
Ian shakes his head. “No. I’m talking about: Buck, your very handsome and very involved best friend, who is also queer...” He trails off again, as if he’s waiting for Eddie to fill in the blank. When he doesn’t, Ian finally says: “Do I have anything to worry about there?”
*
Or, he does in fact have something to worry about.Series
- Part 2 of it's a date
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
20 Jun 2026
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“Firefighter Diaz!”
Eddie pauses at the hospital doors, and turns back towards the voice. He smiles when he recognizes the face. “Ian! How’s it going, man?”
*
Or, Eddie thinks he's made a new friend. It's a little more than that.Series
- Part 1 of it's a date
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
20 Jun 2026
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Years before joining the 118, Buck’s travels take him to El Paso, where he meets Christopher. When Eddie comes back from Afghanistan and Shannon leaves, Buck ends up staying. As bills pile up, the best move is for them to get married, just for convenience, they’ll divorce when Eddie comes back from his re-enlistment.
Then Eddie gets injured and it’s just easier to stay married for a little longer, while Buck gets started at the 118. However, Buck doesn’t mention his ‘husband’ and kid, not feeling like they’re his to keep. When Eddie gets the offer from Bobby, they decide to lie and pretend they don’t know each other, so they can work together.
The whole lie gets out of hand as feelings start to become real, until it all comes to a head in the aftermath of the fire engine explosion.
AKA: Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.
Series
- Part 1 of The I Do Verse
- Part 1 of All the Different Ways to Say I Do
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 213,242
- Chapters:
- 50/50
- Comments:
- 6,768
- Kudos:
- 8,051
- Bookmarks:
- 2,432
- Hits:
- 371,779
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
15 Jun 2026
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Summary
“...My husband here is always talking about coming to this restaurant.” Buck tells the waiter, holding his breath while waiting for Eddie’s response.
Eddie blushes immediately, “Yeah, I just love the food…” he says, nodding. Buck’s heart skips. He thinks Eddie will leave it at that, but he adds to the lie, “See, we’re celebrating our wedding anniversary tonight.”
(Or, Buck and Eddie keep referring to each other as husbands, it’s undoubtedly nice… They’re not together, no. It’s a best friend thing.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,180
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 142
- Kudos:
- 1,584
- Bookmarks:
- 250
- Hits:
- 11,868
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
12 Jun 2026
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“Alright,” Eddie shrugs, laissez-faire. He pulls Buck’s plate to the center of the table; pushes his own forward in kind. Then he begins a drawn-out circus routine of plucking an olive at a time up and out of the bowl and plopping them onto their respective dishes, one by one.
The delicate, repetitive movement of Eddie’s pinched fingers reminds Buck of picking the petals off of flowers. He loves me. He loves me not. He love—
An olive hits him square in the forehead.
“There,” Eddie says, resolute, as the pitted projectile tumbles to the ground at Buck’s feet. “Equal treatment.”
Or: Buck, Eddie, and the olive theory. Well, in theory.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,003
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 126
- Kudos:
- 1,422
- Bookmarks:
- 316
- Hits:
- 11,778
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
08 Jun 2026
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Buck hip checks Eddie. ‘’You good?’’
‘’Yeah. I was just looking forward at quiet Sunday afternoon at the house, not this.’’
‘’Quiet Sunday afternoon?’’ Buck chuckles. ‘’When on Earth do you and Christopher have quiet Sunday afternoons? You usually blast aliens on the TV or play Mario Kart.’’
Eddie pouts. ‘’Hey, that’s quiet.’’
‘’Sure,’’ Buck smirks.
‘’Don’t be smug. Not everyone can be a master chef like you.’’
Buck leaves the knife on the board and turns to Eddie, faking offence. ‘’What? Me, a master chef? If you haven’t noticed I’m scared shitless I won’t recognize when the dish is done because Pepa keeps saying ‘it’s over until it’s over’ and ‘just a cup of flour’ but when I ask which cup she says ‘the blue one’. The blue one is not a measuring unit Eddie. I literally have no idea what I’m doing.’’
Eddie shrugs his shoulders then lifts a piece of carrot he just peeled to Buck’s mouth so he can snack on it. ‘’You’re doing fine. I’m on peeling duty. You’re on seasoning duty.’’
***
Or: touch starved Eddie Diaz, that’s it. That’s the fic. 5+1 fic, five times Eddie seeks out comfort in Buck no questions asked and one time Theo does it instead. Cute, soft, fluffy ❤️🥹Series
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
06 Jun 2026
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It happened so naturally, like every other habit he created with Buck, but the realization set in to Eddie like a punch in the gut. He didn’t mean it, really, but falling in love with him was the easiest thing he had ever done, and that may be the reason why he didn’t see it evolving.
But it did.
And he noticed.
And he doesn’t know what to do with it.OR
Eddie realises he’s in love with Buck and he gets weird. I’m working on the drama the actors asked for!Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
03 Jun 2026
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Hush, Bucky's Sleeping by avengersincamphalfbloodstardis
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
19 Jan 2015
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Summary
What do you do when a super soldier assassin falls asleep on you?
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
25 May 2026
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Clint blinks at his phone in surprise. He has a text from… Bucky?
Opening the phone, he realizes he has a selfie from Bucky.
Why does he have a selfie from Bucky?
Which isn’t to say it isn’t a very good selfie - it is. It’s a very, very good selfie. It’s all bedroom eyes and carefully mussed hair and bare skin and what appear to be expensive sheets, and that same look Bucky gives him when Clint slurps his coffee straight out of the pot like the uncivilized shithead that he is.
The look has never been sexy before now.
But softened by dim light and a lack of clothes and fucking bedsheets, well. It’s sexy now.
Clint has no idea why it’s been sent to him but-
Wait.
Just above the selfie from Bucky is a selfie to Bucky. Of Clint. The same selfie he’d sent Natasha-
Oh.
The same selfie he hadn’t sent Natasha because he’s sent it to Bucky instead for some inexplicable reason.
Series
- Part 6 of MFD Prompts
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,352
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 325
- Kudos:
- 2,240
- Bookmarks:
- 372
- Hits:
- 16,047
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
25 May 2026
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“So,” Eddie said.
Buck glanced over. “So.”
“Beck asked me out.”
The world narrowed.
Buck’s hand froze on the truck. “What?”
--
Or, Beckett Walsh, a firefighter from the London Fire Brigade, joins the 118 for a three-week exchange program and looks exactly like Buck.
Everyone sees it.
Everyone except Eddie.
So when Beck asks Eddie out, Eddie says yes, hoping one date might help him understand why every relationship before this has felt almost right.
Unfortunately for Buck, “almost right” looks a lot like him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,803
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 27
- Kudos:
- 282
- Bookmarks:
- 62
- Hits:
- 2,766
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
23 May 2026
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This is Not a Date, it's a Kidnapping by sara_holmes
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
13 Nov 2021
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The first time Bucky kidnaps Clint, it's to blackmail Steve into backing off until Bucky's ready to be found.
The second and third and fourth times, however...well. Bucky has his reasons.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,506
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 344
- Kudos:
- 3,421
- Bookmarks:
- 894
- Hits:
- 39,411
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
13 May 2026