Dextrose_1221
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Hen Wilson's Four Part Guide To Making Your Stupid Friends Date by songbvrd
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
27 Nov 2024
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“Okay, I know we kind of all had an unspoken rule not to talk about it, but…”
“Buck and Eddie are being weird as hell?” Chim asked, sucking in a breath like he'd been holding back from letting the same thought out for far too long.
“Yes!” Hen hissed, relieved that she wasn't the only to see the weirdness in the room. “Now, look, they're my friends and so obviously I want them to be happy, but it's also just throwing the team vibe way off.”
Bobby took a long, tired breath. “Okay. So what did you have in mind?”
Several things, as it turned out. Between them, they managed to come up with the very vague outline of a plan. Or a few plans, really, depending on how many failed.
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When Buck and Eddie aren't speaking, Hen decides to take matters into her own hands.
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Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
17 Jul 2026
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“Dad, your hand looks like it’s covered in sh—poop.”
Buck is definitely glad he catches himself just in time, remembering he’s in the presence of a child who has taken on the definitely not annoying trait of copying random words Chris says.
“See?” Buck exclaims, pointing to Eddie but looking at Theo. “Now who’s Mr. Poop?”
Theo giggles, a beautiful sound that makes Buck’s heart squeeze.
“You’re still Mistah Poop,” Theo declares.
“But…” Buck looks around the kitchen, hoping someone will back him up. The Diaz boys are no help. He should probably kick them out for apparently siding with the toddler and not the man they’ve known for almost nine years. “He’s the one with the poop hand!”
Theo giggles again, of course—Buck just said poop. The phrase “poop hand” is probably being filed away for Theo to repeat again at the most inconvenient of times, likely when Diedra comes for a surprise visit or when Theo finally meets his parents—if that ever happens, of course.
“Yeah, he’s Mrs. Poop!”
or; A casual night of baking leads to Theo marrying Buck and Eddie, somehow. Buck is definitely normal about it and doesn't spiral for the next 36+ hours (this is a lie).
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
17 Jul 2026
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And, fine, maybe Eddie likes it, okay? Maybe keeping up the veneer of his heterosexuality is not as important to him as making sure Buck's hands are on him at all times. Maybe he's a six foot man in his thirties who likes it when his best friend - maybe the love of his life? Eddie's doing extensive studies and the results are coming out with heart eyes - manhandles him a little.
The question is now, of course, what Eddie is going to do about it.
Eddie Diaz wants his best friend to pick him up and maybe throw him around a little. He gets, perhaps, a little crazy about it.
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
17 Jul 2026
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a guide on how to uncouple two platonic best friends by lifelessframe
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
17 Jul 2026
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“I hate when you guys act like–” Chris cuts himself off with a groan.
Buck and Eddie frown and look at each other “Like what?”
“Like you’re–“ he huffs in frustration.
“What, Chris?”
“Like you’re a married couple!” he blurts out “Like you need each other before making any major decisions regarding me just because you’re so codependent, like you… ugh, just stop! I don’t need you ganging up on me” and with that he slams the door shut.
Teenagers are complicated. When Buck and Eddie won’t allow Chris to go to a certain party, he ends up saying something that sends them into a spiral. More so when everybody seems to agree with him.
Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
15 Jul 2026
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“Eddie, I’m in love with you,” he says, heart thrumming in his chest, in his throat, in his mouth. He feels hot and cold and dizzy by turns.
“What?” asks Eddie faintly, barely even a question.
“I’m in love with you,” Buck says again. “I didn’t know, I didn’t mean to, but I am. I am.”
“You– Right, okay,” says Eddie, so visibly buffering that it makes Buck’s heart clench a little in his chest. Of course he’s in love with Eddie. How could he possibly have let himself pretend otherwise. “Wasn’t expecting this, bud,” says Eddie, and he sounds so shocked that Buck can’t help a wry smile. Of course Eddie’s surprised. They must be the only two people in existence who didn’t already know. “I– Buck, man, you know that I care about you, but…”
“I know,” he says gently to Eddie, because he did know, but that doesn't make this moment hurt any less.
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Post season 8, Buck confesses his feelings, Eddie lets him down as gently as he can, and they both try to figure out how to be just friends.
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Bookmarked by Dextrose_1221
07 Jul 2026