5TAR



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “You know, one day you’re gonna meet someone you love so much you’ll want to toss all your stupid rules out the window just to be around them,” Jessica told him the day they broke up.

    God, Shane remembers thinking. I fucking hope not.

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    30 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    There was nothing standard about Shane and Ilya's relationship, so it really shouldn't have been so surprising that they had their first date over a decade after meeting each other.

    It also shouldn't be surprising that it took roughly five minutes before it turned into a competition.

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    30 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya was used to hazing. He had been subjected to it, he had participated in it, and, as a captain, he had stood guard over the rookies and protected them from anything truly harmful. But if he had been asked, Ilya would have approved of this prank. He would have authorized it, given Cliff and Vicky his seal of approval, perhaps even helped orchestrate it.

    Any other day, Ilya might have been happy to play along.

    But, in perfect dramatic irony, it had not happened any other day. It had happened today. And, cherry on top, of course the rookie had to walk in when Shane was already freaking out about Ilya saying his name.

    +++

    A prank-gone-wrong leads to the Boston Bears finding out about Shane and Ilya’s relationship in 2016. The day Ilya first invited Shane into his house. Right after they say each other’s names for the first time. Fuck his life, honestly.

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    30 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Celeste Navarro:
    PAUSE.
    BACK UP.
    Did Jackie add Ilya to our WAGs group chat?

    Hannah Wilson:
    Is this even allowed?
    It kinda feels illegal.
    No offense, Rozanov. It’s just that you play for the other team.

    Ilya Rozanov:
    Is that…
    How you say? Double meaning?

    Celeste Navarro:
    HA!

    ----

    Or the one where Ilya Rozanov has a minor crash out after learning Rose Landry is still in the Metros WAG Group Chat but he hasn't been added & now he must infiltrate the group because he is the ultimate wife.

    **This is a current crack fic WIP that accidentally developed a plot. I hope to have updates posted once a week-ish, but there is no publishing schedule.

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    30 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

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    30 Jun 2026