Chapter Text
“Mama can we get papa a present?” Asked Narvi as he pulled up a chair next to where his mother was cutting vegetables for dinner. “Vali and I saw something at the market, and we wanna get it for papa.” Sigyn ruffled her older son’s wavy black hair as she turned to him, wiping her hands on an old knit towel.
“What present do you want to get papa?” Narvi grabbed her hand, pulling her down to his level, whispering the idea in her ear. “That’s a good idea. What made you want to get him this present?”
“Papa’s been really sad, and I wanna make him feel better, like when he makes me feel better when I’m sad.” Sigyn nodded as she knelt to look at her son.
“Papa’s been having some bad dreams, baby. I think this gift you want to get him will make him feel a lot better. I’ll take you boys to the market tomorrow; how does that sound?” Narvi ecstatically nodded as he launched himself at his mom in a hug, she rubbed his back, knowing what Loki would think of his sweet, caring boys.
The next day came quickly, and she was woken up early by the boys, shaking her awake. Loki had left early in the morning to see Thor in New Asgard, as well as visit his other children. She knew that would cheer him up. The boys were shaking with excitement, ready to show mama their find. They quickly grabbed their cloaks and were pulling Sigyn out the door.
Sigyn didn’t usually take the boys to the market with her. She would usually take Ragna in her carrier while Loki stayed at home with the boys, teaching them spells and playing outside with them. She found that when the boys were around, he perked up and forced himself to really look on the positive side.
Sigyn knew he would forever have guilt for the things he had done, the lives that were lost at his hands. She helped him realize that it wasn’t for his enjoyment or pleasure, he did for his survival, so he could live to help raise their children and do right. He had been forced to harm others; it wasn’t because he liked it. With his help in Thanos defeat, it helped prove to others the amount of influence Thanos had over him, and how he was his own person now, no longer under Thanos’ rule.
He still had rapid nightmares though, coming up on the five year anniversary of Thanos defeat, the nightmares were coming more than ever. It didn’t help that the anniversary of Frigga’s death was around the same time. He was struggling with the things he had done, and Sigyn knew that if the boys could show him that it was okay to have struggles, it would be easier to handle.
Sigyn looked around the market, bustling with the neighbors she had grown up with. No holidays were coming up, yet the market was packed. Stands littered the side of the road, the currency being exchanged glittered in the sun. The market looked magical, with trinkets of all shapes and sizes. Veggies and fruits of bright, beautiful colors sat out in spectacle. Sigyn wondered if she should pick up some seeds while she was out looking at all the colorful stands.
Sigyn watched as the boys weaved through the crowd as she tried to keep up with them, they were five years old and had so much more energy than Sigyn. Dealing with one enthusiastic five-year-old was enough, but Sigyn was blessed with two. She still remembered how shocked she and Loki were when they found out they were having twins.
She saw them stop at a small, rackety little shack where a tiny woman stood with a whole collection of trinkets ranging with small potion glasses to large pieces of furniture. Sigyn looked over the items, her eyes trying to find which gift the boys were looking at. She saw Vali get up on his toes to point at their idea.
Sigyn looked over and saw a dingy picture frame with a mirror inside. It was a golden color that would be shiny had it been cleaned. Sigyn didn’t exactly see the sentiment but she knew the boys had a reason behind it.
“Narvi, Vali what exactly is this thing?” She muttered as she picked up the mirror and inspected it. It seemed like an everyday mirror. An everyday mirror that hadn’t been cleaned in five hundred years.
“It’s an enchanted mirror mama. Like the mirror in that movie Uncle Tony showed us.” Narvi exclaimed as Vali nodded along. Sigyn looked over at the decrepit mirror. With a little bit of polish, it would be beautiful. There were small accents of gold littering the cabin, so it wouldn’t be out of place. It still warmed Sigyn’s heart that the boys’ first thought was of their father.
“It shows memories. We thought that since papa is so sad right now, he could see some good memories, to make him feel better.” Sigyn smiled at the boys’ appreciation for their father. Sigyn knew that Loki tried to hide his feelings from the boys, showing only love around them. He didn’t want them to know what happened in the past and all the things he had done.
“Boys, I think papa will love that. You two are so thoughtful.” She knelt down and gently lifted her boys’ chins to look her in the eyes. Their eyes were bright and sweet, and they didn’t have the hardness or pain Loki and Sigyn’s did. They would protect them from any harm they could so that the boys could have a life neither Sigyn nor Loki had.
Sigyn’s childhood was full of hardships. She was raised by her father, Iwaldi, who was a dwarf from Alfheim. Apparently, Freya, Sigyn’s mother had been married to Iwaldi when she met Odr, a wealthy farmer in Asgard. Within a month, Freya had left Iwaldi with all eight girls to marry Odr and live in Asgard. Sigyn had felt betrayed and felt unloved.
While her father was the most loving and hardworking father, it didn’t replace Sigyn’s feelings of not having a mother. All the children playing in the fields with their mothers, cuddling and being taught spells. Sigyn didn’t have that. While Sigyn had seen Freya and talked since then, she had never exactly reconciled with her mother.
Things changed though when Sigyn was about ten, when Astrid walked into their lives. She was a simple healer who worked with Eir, the healer to the All-Mother and All-Father. She had met Iwaldi when he was working on her new metal potion bowl. They had lots in common, Astrid having been in a failed relationship, though she had no children, and Sigyn’s father still figuring out how to raise eight girls on his own. Astrid was able to help with some of the girls more “feminine” problems and aid in some of Iwaldi’s difficulties that came with raising eight girls with only two hands. Soon enough, Astrid and Iwaldi were married, and the whole in Sigyn’s heart somehow felt a bit fuller.
Sigyn gently pulled out a few coins, passing them to the woman.
“You want this mirror?” The boys nodded excitedly, eyes begging for her to accept. “Why don’t you just take it?”
“Ma’am I couldn’t do that. It’s obviously worth quite a lot.” Replied Sigyn, hand still outstretched for the woman to take the money. The woman continued shaking her head, her grayish-brown locks flowing.
“Let me ask first, what is the reason behind purchasing my mirror?” Sigyn stood back, worried she had offended the woman. It was Vali that quickly answered.
“It’s for our father. He’s been sad lately and we wanted to make him feel better. He likes magical things, so we thought this would help.” Sigyn looked at the boys’ smiley faces, knowing that they had made their point clear.
“Well, you want it for a good reason, so just take it. You guys will use it more than I ever did.” Sigyn looked a bit exasperatedly, still quite shocked at the woman’s generosity. The woman handed the boys the mirror, and Vali gently took off his cloak to wrap it up, Narvi holding it tightly against his chest. Sigyn led the boys back home, knowing Loki would be back from New Asgard soon.
They all sat at the table, the boys doing their own things. Vali had a book of spells, pointing out the cool spells he wanted his father to teach him. Spells of shapeshifting and curing animals. Vali’s interest was helping, no matter what. He had a way with animals, especially animals’ others would be scared of. There had been a pack of wolves in the woods behind them that had made a home, and Sigyn realized the missing meat had been Vali sneaking food to them. When Sigyn went to confront him, she found him asleep outside, leaned up against a tree, wolves surrounding him like he was their own cub. Sigyn felt pride welling up inside her. It was quite a shock to show Loki, who’s first thought was how.
Narvi had a pad of paper that he was writing down new plants to put in the garden. He had begged Sigyn to purchase watermelon seeds, since he had been obsessed with watermelon after Tony introduced it to them one night while babysitting them. Narvi was trying to introduce more Midgardian foods, like planting rice or corn. The farmers had found his ideas helpful, and it was actually helping the bias towards Midgardians that some Asgardians still felt. Sigyn had found his excitement almost contagious and loved seeing his bright little face when he saw the new blooms or the stems emerging from the hard ground. Sigyn knew it was something he had gotten from her.
Sigyn sat at the table, Ragna sitting on her lap, happily babbling, and playing with a tiny stuffed bear Thor had gotten her. Her green eyes were entranced with the little bear, staring intently at it. Her blonde curls were a bit longer, now pulled back in a little ponytail. She looked so much like Frigga. She was relatively peaceful, and never really got upset. She had been a quiet baby, and rarely got fussy. She slept easily through the night early and happily cuddled. One of Loki’s favorite pastimes was lying in bed, Ragna snuggled up into his side as he read, peacefully nodding off, listening to her papa’s soft voice. Sigyn couldn’t say she wasn’t a little jealous of their relationship, but Sigyn remembered her relationship with her father being nearly the same.
Loki was extremely nervous when they had found out about Ragna being a girl. He had never had a baby girl before, but the moment that she was born, it was as if all the worry dissipated within them. He held her as she intently slept, and Sigyn saw he was at ease. He wasn’t afraid of her being taken away, or her getting hurt. He was just calm.
Sigyn was awakened from her thoughts to the door opening and the boys hopping from their chairs, running towards their father. He knelt down and opened his arms, the boys jumping in and hugging him. Ragna toddled towards him and he gently scooped her up onto his hip. She knew how to walk, but she was still new to it, so it was a force of habit.
Ragna began wiggling as Loki sat her down as she followed her brothers into the living room. Sigyn looked over at Loki.
“How was the trip?” She muttered as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close.
“It was nice seeing them. We discussed some treaties between Jotunheim to return the Casket, but it’s Val’s choice now. How were the boys?” Sigyn nudged into him as he rubbed his hands down her back.
“I’m glad you're back.” She sighed. Loki pulled back, looking down at her with a grin.
“Were they that bad?” He chuckled as she shook her head.
“No, they’re just excited.” Loki looked confused before they heard the pitter patter of feet running on the hardwood. They looked over to see Vali holding a folded-up cloak while Narvi stood next to him, his hands behind his back.
“Is this what they were excited about?” He knelt down to reach their height.
“Papa, we got you a present.” Sigyn saw Loki look a bit taken aback, as if he was wondering if he missed a holiday or something. Was it his birthday and he had completely forgotten?
“That’s lovely darlings, but what for?” The boys looked over at their mother, as if waiting for her to explain it. They were still little; their mother could describe their idea in perfect detail.
“When you took the boys to the market last week, the boys saw something they wanted to get you to cheer you up.” She said as she gently rubbed his shoulder. He looked at the small gift, wrapped up in paper. He gently opened it, carefully, unsure of what it was. He carefully inspected it. It was a little mirror, not too large. It was shiny and gold, and reminded him of some of the mirrors back in Asgard. Other than that, it looked like the average mirror.
“Darlings, it’s lovely.” He stopped, a forced smile as he looked over at the boys excited grins. “What is it exactly?”
“It’s an enchanted mirror!” Exclaimed Vali, bobbing up and down, holding onto his brother, who was nodding with the same excitement.
“It’s a mirror that shows memories. They knew something was wrong, and wanted to make you feel better like you make them feel better.” Loki looked speechless, looking at his family. Narvi and Vali excitedly hold onto each other, waiting for his reaction, Ragna playing with the discarded paper, and Sigyn smiling over them. “Maybe this can help you remember the good times.”
“Boys..” He didn’t know what to say. He had always tried to hide his emotions, afraid to worry his family. The boys, as old as they were, still didn’t understand what he went through, and he didn’t want them too. He worried it would change the way they thought about him. All he could do was reach out and hug them, the words not enough to show his appreciation.
“Do you like it?” Muttered Narvi into Loki’s shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around him.
“I love it. It was very thoughtful of you boys to think about me.”
“Maybe you can see grandma with that mirror.” Whispered Vali, his eyes bright with the thought of seeing what his grandma possibly looked like. Loki regretted the boys never having her. It wasn’t his fault, but the boys didn’t have a grandmother. Sigyn’s mother was always in and out of her life and Sigyn didn’t want her to do the same to the boys. Frigga though, would have adored them. She would have spoiled them, being there all the time. She likely would’ve delivered them had she been there. Anytime he had a question, she would be there, reassuring him that he was doing fantastic. He and his mother had their struggles, but he loved her and he missed her more than ever right now.
“Maybe darling. You know, you three are a lot like her. Narvi, you have her blonde hair, though it’s technically your mother’s. She also loved gardening, and would have been thrilled to garden with you. Vali, she would be reading to you everyday, and would’ve shared your interest in spells. Ragna looks so much like her with her blonde curls. Everyday you remind me of her, and she would have loved you.” He held onto his boys, rubbing the mirror. He closed his eyes, a hand rested in the glass as the boys gasped. He quickly opened his eyes and saw it.
It was surely his memory. It was his mother and him. He was young, maybe ten or eleven, and they were out in the garden. His mother could’ve had someone tend to her garden, but she always preferred to do it herself. Being from Vanaheim, they favored nature and she grew up outside, just like Sigyn. He was sitting on the bench, reading to his mother. He was babbling about some spell and his mother just stood intently listening. He always felt heard when it came to her.
“Is that grandma?” Pointed Vali. Loki nodded, a teary smile came to his face. How he had wished to see her face again. To just apologize to her for what he had done, explain to her why he did what he did.
“She’s really pretty.” Muttered Narvi, staring intently. He had always imagined what his grandmother looked like. Papa had explained to him what she looked like. How she had blonde hair like mama and bright eyes.
“She was beautiful, but she was so much more than that. She was really intelligent, and taught me everything I know. She was also considerate and compassionate. When she met your mama, she adored her and when we married, she was so excited for us to have kids. She would have loved you guys so much. She would have gotten you everything we told her not to. She wouldn’t care. She would do anything to make you guys happy, no matter the cost.”
“Do you miss her papa?”
“Every single day.”